I mean, this could be serious. Like, really serious. Like, Landon Maddox could be the one.
We might be falling in love with each other.
“What are you thinking about?”
“I’m thinking about keeping it.”
“You want to tell Rachel and Dad or should I?”
I love the fact I can bullshit him and he already knows I’m lying.
“What’s our excuse going to be for getting home so late?”
“You mean apart from the fact we were working on increasing the size of the family?”
“Aside from that, yes.”
“We got lost.”
“We have GPS.”
“In the woods.”
“Walking?”
“Tracking animals.”
“Your dad would be proud.”
“He might not if he knew what we were really up to.”
“It we don’t go home, we won’t have to tell him.”
“We could run away, but coach will want to know where his star quarterback has gone.”
“Tracking animals.”
“He wouldn’t be as impressed as my dad.”
We carve through the winding roads, afternoon turning through dusk towards night. At the edge of the road I see dead and alive animals, rabbits hit by cars and birds feeding off them. This is the cycle of life in all it’s glory and I wonder whether Landon and I are destined to become the squash of blood and bones on tarmac or the ones picking them apart to survive.
The journey back to the house takes less time than I want it to, and when we arrive, Mom comes quickly to the kitchen window to make sure it’s us. Just before we get out of the car, and while Mom makes her way out of our sight to open the front door to let us in, I lean over and give Landon a kiss and a squeeze.
“You’re glowing again.”
I shrug my shoulders.
“Maybe it’s my new look.”
“Whatever it is, I like it.”
Mom breaks the spell, stood on the doorstep with her arms folded to chaperone us inside, just in case we can’t make the short distance from the car to the house unaided.
We filter in, Landon first, myself behind him, my glow seemingly evident in Mom’s eyes, reflected back against me, in the way she beams a proud, slightly self conscious smile at us both, even in the way Marvin is stood to greet us back home, his hands in his pockets awkwardly as though expecting someone far more important to arrive.
Landon and I look at each other. This is weird even for Mom and Marvin. This is the appearance of a pair of proud parents ready to confess our secret back at us. I hold my breath, fully expecting a frank confession of our afternoon activity, but it doesn’t come. As soon as the oddness has arrived, it melts away into normality again, and I wonder if I’ve just imagined it all.
Marvin sits silently back down to pick up his book, while Mom takes to the couch opposite him, the magazine she’s been reading now open again and rested against her leg ready to pick up when she’s done with us.
I realize that Landon and I are probably standing far too close to each other and make a point of moving away. If there is anything I want to do or say to him, I’ll have to wait once again for the privacy of our bedroom. Mom’s eyes follow me to the kitchen and then again to the couch. It’s almost as if she’s waiting for the right moment to speak and then when she feels like I’ve settled enough comes out with the first line in what could, to a guilty mind, be an awkward inquisition.
“So, what did you guys get up to?”
I sink deeper into the softness of the couch and let Landon take control of the story, nodding and following his lead as best I can. Secrets are easy to keep, until they get too big to keep inside.
I wait for a thick as thieves comment from Marvin, but it doesn’t come. He doesn’t even question the part about the birds, nor the bit where we got lost trying to follow the sound of an animal we couldn’t recognize. Mom just nods along, happy that we’ve made it back safely.
When he’s done, and Mom seems satisfied, Landon digs around in the kitchen for something to eat before coming to sit alongside me. I feel his leg hot against mine, and it makes me think about what it was like to have him come inside me. I can’t help the thought bringing heat to my skin and I know I’ve probably gone red.
“We’ll have to pull you two apart when we leave tomorrow, it looks like you’ve joined yourselves at the hip.”
Landon and I share a glance. Hip, pelvis, his seed inside me. Joined at the hip just doesn’t cut it.
“There isn’t anywhere else to sit.”
Landon is quick to defend himself even though it’s clear it isn’t necessary. Mom waves her hand to dismiss him.
“I’m only kidding. Like I said yesterday, I’m over the moon that you two have become such good friends.”
My clit still throbbing, Landon hard just because he’s sat next to me. Friends is probably not the best way to describe it at all.
“I wouldn’t call us friends, I think we’re a little more than that.”
My heart leaps and I wonder for a horrible moment what Landon is about to say.
“We’re step siblings after all.”
I breath a huge sigh of relief. Landon puts his arm around my neck and pulls me into him and I have to kind of wrestle away and pretend to be horrified. I’m going to make him pay for that later on, but for right now it seems to have done the trick. Mom smiles.
“That’s sweet, Landon. You can definitely stay.”
“You won’t be able to keep me away.”
“I’m going to hold you to that.”
“No, I’m serious. I’ve had an amazing time here. From now on, you’re both going to see a lot more of me.”
“That”, Marvin says without looking up from his book, “is exactly what we all need.”
Mom nods in agreement, while I still have no idea if Marvin is saying more than he’s actually saying. Landon beams a cheesy smile, happy he’s got away with telling me what his intentions are after we leave tomorrow without actually saying it directly. His hidden hand finds a place on me I’m more than happy for him to squeeze, and we sit there next to each other, hot and excited, one eye on the clock and the other on each other, counting down the minutes until we can slip away to bed and tear each others clothes off again.
Tonight we fuck in silence, while tomorrow we say goodbye to each other and start our relationship for real.
Landon Maddox and Tilly. The Donkey and his step-sister. Me and the all star athlete, up against the world.
Landon
The last time before a break is always the sweetest, even if the whole thing has to be conducted in silence. Our fallow period is likely to be less than a few days, but it’s a pause nonetheless, and based on how much Tilly and I have been going at it recently, it’s going to be a huge change we both might struggle to adjust to. There is also the chance, however slim and unlikely, that after this is over and we return to the real world, one, or even both of us, will freak out and suddenly call an end to it. The way we tear at each other, desperate to make the most of the small amount of time we have remaining, makes me think that the possibility of that happening, however remote, is still on both of our minds.
We are both clearly exhausted from the afternoon’s activities, but it doesn’t stop us from somehow finding deep reserves of energy to fuck each other goodbye.
We lie next to each other on the bed, her leg hooked over my hip, me deep inside her, arms interlocked and cradled together, and fuck slowly until we both come silently, our bodies shaking with orgasmic delight.
There are a thousand things we both want to say to each other, but nothing that can’t wait until the next time we are alone.
Our packed bags lie like curled up dogs at the foot of the bed, and while the rest of the house breathes in creaks and snores and animal noises Dad would have no trouble in identifying, Tilly and I lie together, two spent lovers on a single bed, her mattress on top of mine in a sweet reflection of
our posture.
Of all the things I’ve achieved in my life, of everything I’ve set my mind to and succeeded at, I never thought the most satisfaction would come from something outside of football. Before I met Tilly, I said I would never risk having to give up the game for a woman. I was ready to give up the chase and take a vow of celibacy instead.
Either the countryside has made me soft in the brain, or I just hadn’t met the right girl yet. Lying here with her, seeing how satisfied and how at peace she is, how content we both are, makes me think that I could die right now, never play football again and still feel like I’ve achieved everything I need to, to be a happy man.
That’s a scary thought, but I’m not lying when I say it. Tilly has somehow had that effect on me.
I turn into her, sliding down underneath the duvet to gather up the warmth streaming from her body. Tilly is already asleep, her breathing just heavy enough to be noticed in the tremble of her skin, the gradual lift and fall of her chest.
I kiss her lips, run my fingers through her hair and breath her sweet scent to the bottom of my lungs.
“You’ve got me”, I whisper through knots of sleep, my words barely loud enough to vibrate across my lips.
There is a moment of absolute silence, when not even the animals in the woods that surround us make a sound, when I feel like time has stood still completely and perhaps my thoughts of death have somehow initiated the process, until Tilly reaches for me languidly, gathers my cock up in her outstretched hand and gives me a gentle squeeze.
“I knew that already.”
Seven.
Tilly
Chaos.
No matter how much time Mom and Marvin have had to prepare the house, their bags, the garden and everything else for our departure, they still feel the need to wake up at six a.m, and then wake Landon and I up with a loud bang on the door a few minutes later, which literally makes us both jump out of our skin like new recruits on the first day of training.
She doesn’t actually come into the room, thank God, but there is a short, horrible moment when Landon and I both think she might, and we scramble desperately for something to cover ourselves with, the condoms and our sordid tracks evident all over the room.
When we both emerge from the room, fifteen minutes later, Landon first, myself enough time behind him, Marvin is already halfway through his breakfast, and Mom halfway through cooking hers.
There is no reason to be up this early, and I’m angry at her for denying Landon and I our last precious few moments together in bed. I know she wanted an early start, but for some reason I thought she meant a much more sensible time.
I slump into a seat at the table, clearly less than impressed at the wake up call. Landon slides in alongside me, somehow already wide awake and looking amazing, while Mom continues in her attempt to be some kind of superparent, by somehow simultaneously pouring coffee and making pancakes appear in front of us.
“What time will you set off?”
Marvin’s question is directed at Landon, who looks at me before he answers.
“I thought we’d all head off together.”
“Remind me again why we’re up so early?”
“You were never an early riser, Tilly.”
“We have to set the house right and get on the road early enough to miss the traffic.”
“We’re in the middle of nowhere, what traffic?”
I don’t want to be sat here discussing this, I want to be back in bed with Landon, waking him up like I did yesterday. I knew this moment would come, but now it’s finally here, I’m struggling to cope with it. I feel sad and grouchy, and the last thing I want to do is clean up and clear off, without Landon in the back seat of the car next to me.
I reach for his leg just to give it a squeeze and remind myself any break is only temporary.
“Check out time is midday.”
“It’s seven in the morning.”
“Then we’ll definitely be ready to go when we need to. There’s not much else we can do today anyway. Marvin is still recuperating, and the pair of you must be as bored as house cats stuck here in the middle of nowhere. I thought you’d be over the moon about getting back to see your friends. Aren’t you Landon?”
“Not really. The season doesn’t start for another few weeks, which means I’ll be sat at home for most of it keeping out of trouble.”
At least Mom thinks he’s joking.
“Well, you can always come back if you like it so much. You might even want to bring Tilly with you.”
Landon and I share a conspiratorial glance, before his hand finds my thigh this time and gives it a squeeze to tell me who it belongs to.
After breakfast we share chores to get the house in a decent enough state to hand back. There isn’t much to do apart from a bit of light cleaning, which Marvin insists we split equally, so each person takes a single room. Mom offers to do the bathroom, which means she has to clean the decking too, because it’s a lot smaller than the other rooms.
It’s dull and boring and the moments Landon and I are alone together are so fleeting I don’t get a chance to say the things I want to him. I’m not entirely sure what those things are, but I’m conscious of our time expiring and us both missing an opportunity to say goodbye in the intimate way we want to.
My mind is a mess of words and emotions, and half way through the morning, I feel like breaking down and crying.
As expected, and as much as I try and lengthen it, we are all finished by just after nine. The garden is clear of Landon’s footballs, the decking is dry and the jacuzzi we never got a chance to use together packed up, our bedroom stripped of anything but memories of Landon and my silent screams, the kitchen and living room and the rest of the house spotless, except for the football sized hole in one of the french windows, we didn’t have a chance to repair beyond the cardboard we hastily stuck to it.
After we are done, we all collect together in the living room, stood up in the centre like we’re on guard duty, somehow frightened to use the house as a house, now that we’ve spent time cleaning it.
“Well, I suppose that’s just about it.”
It’s nowhere near checkout time yet, but because we’ve started so early, we’re now left with nothing else to do. It’s already time to say goodbye and I’m no way near ready.
“Same time next year I guess.”
I can’t share Mom’s jovial good mood because even a few days seems like a lifetime without Landon in it. A year might as well be an eternity.
Marvin engages himself with taking the suitcases out to the car, while I take one last look at the bedroom I’m kicking myself I didn’t sleep in until three nights in. The beds have been remade, my mattress and Landon’s separated, the drapes drawn back and the floor cleared of our intertwined, hastily removed clothes.
If you look closely enough, you’ll be able to see my fingerprints still on the paint between here and the bathroom, the first night Landon and I fucked silently and he held me up against the wall.
Now the house is back in it’s original state, that memory seems like it belongs to a time much more distant than only a few days ago.
Landon is up alongside me momentarily, close enough for it to seem inappropriate, his heat at my back as I stand at the threshold to our den. I want him to put his arms around me and gather me even closer into him, but the situation won’t allow for it, and even before I’ve really had time to enjoy it, Marvin’s calling for his help, and Landon gets whipped away again. Just before he goes, I hear the words slip from his lips and rub up against me like distant sounds calling me out of a dream.
“Paradise.”
The house looks empty and sad, like no-one has ever lived in it at all, and before I know it, the door has been locked forever, the bags are all in the back of the two separate cars, and all four of us are stood awkwardly on the drive outside waiting for someone to start saying goodbye. There are smatterings of conversation about weather and traffic and routes back and next times befor
e Mom takes control and is the first to give Landon a hug.
When she is done, and has made way for whoever is next, she leans back against the car proud of what I know she will believe has been her achievement alone, of bringing two disparate families successfully together. Marvin and I look at each other, before I offer the way for him and he steps forward to say goodbye to his son with a slightly awkward and perfectly formal handshake that Landon turns into a strong and manly hug.
Marvin steps back, a little embarrassed by his extrovert son, and suddenly it’s my turn to say goodbye.
Landon opens his arms and welcomes me towards him, and I step slowly into his embrace while Mom and Marvin look on proudly.
This is not the end. This is just a mini goodbye until we see each other again. I know that, so it baffles me why I’m actually crying. I can’t stop the tears bubbling up and spilling out onto my cheeks, and I have to turn my head slightly so Mom and Marvin can’t see me. This hug is going to turn into the longest hug I’ve ever given anyone in my life, and there is a very real possibility that Mom and Marvin are going to wonder whether I’ve fallen asleep, but fuck it, I need this. This is my goodbye, my start again, my beginning and end all wrapped up into one.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For not being a dick.”
“Tilly.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“I should go.”
“I should let you go.”
“They’re going to think we are weird.”
“You are weird.”
“Call me.”
“This isn’t the end, Tilly.”
“I know.”
I pull away slightly so I can look him in the eyes just before we go, and in that moment it seems like the most obvious and most sensible thing to do. Whether it’s a rush of blood to the head or something stronger, it doesn’t matter, because I don’t give myself any more chance to think about it before I’ve pulled him towards me and pressed my lips passionately against his.
Prime: A Bad Boy Romance Page 57