A Father's Promise (Intimate Moments)

by Evanick, Marcia

  Ellis turned around and stared at him. Sydney couldn’t read Ellis’s expression. His face was a cold stark mask. It matched his voice. “Forgiveness?”

  Arthur met Ellis’s gaze. “I had an affair with Catherine Carlisle thirty-three years ago. I wasn’t proud of that fact then, nor am I now. Cathy was forbidden fruit and just like Adam I couldn’t resist the temptation.”

  Sydney watched as Ellis stepped back into the room.

  “Your mother was eighteen, beautiful and looking for a way to rebel against her strict parents. I know you have no reason to believe me, but your mother singled me out, it wasn’t the other way around. I never had the intention of seducing the minister’s daughter.” Arthur traced the edge of the blotter on his desk. “It was her innocence that enticed me into the affair. Cathy knew nothing about men, sin or the realities of an affair. The affair didn’t last long, but the realities did. She told me she was pregnant with my child the month before she graduated from high school. Appalled by our foolishness and the consequences that irresponsibility had caused, I offered her money for an abortion.”

  She watched Ellis as he just stood there and stared. Her heart went out to the man before her. Here he stood facing his father after thirty-two years and the man was telling him he was never wanted in the first place.

  “Cathy refused. She demanded that I leave my wife and marry her instead. She wanted to be a family.” Arthur’s fingers trembled against the blotter, but he continued. “I’m ashamed to admit that I laughed at her and told her I would never leave Sophie. It all seemed so simple back then.” Arthur shook his head. “Cathy threatened to tell everyone who the father of her child was and I pulled a power number by saying if she so much as told a living soul, I would take her to court, prove she was unfit to be a mother and take the child and raise it as my own.”

  Arthur glanced at Ellis. “It was an empty threat. Cathy would never have been an unfit mother. My money, or should I say Sophie’s money, threatened her, so she believed me. Two weeks after she graduated from high school she accepted a handful of my money and was gone. At first I thought she had taken my advice and had gone to get an abortion. After a couple of days I was worried, by a couple of weeks I knew she wasn’t coming back.” He paused. “Can I ask you a question, Ellis?”

  “that?”

  “Where were you born and raised?”

  “Philadelphia, why?”

  Arthur gave a weary sigh. “Cathy once told me if she ever left this town she wasn’t stopping until she hit the Rocky Mountains. She said Colorado had a nice ring to it. When she didn’t come back, I hired a private investigator to see if he could locate her in Colorado. He never could and after three years I gave up.”

  “Would you have gone to her if he found her and me?”

  “Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done. I do know one thing, if I had found her, Ellis, she wouldn’t have had to struggle financially raising you. I would have provided for you.”

  Arthur sank deeper into the chair and appeared to have aged right before her eyes.

  “The one thing in life that I have always wanted was children.” Arthur gave a weak chuckle. “When Sophie and I decided to start a family and nothing happened, she blamed me. I knew she couldn’t have been right but it took me years to convince her to see a doctor. Sophie couldn’t conceive a child and she refused to adopt and raise someone else’s. My one child in life boarded a bus with a woman who had every right to hate me and rode out of my life. You probably call it poetic justice. I prefer to look on it as the Lord’s revenge.”

  “I now know why my mother didn’t name you as my father on my birth certificate.” Ellis studied Arthur with something akin to hatred burning in his eyes.

  “If she did, you would have marched right up to my door the day you came to town looking for me.” Arthur shifted in the seat. “I’m sorry to hear about Cathy’s passing.”

  Sydney glanced at Ellis to see his reaction. He appeared to be just as he’d seemed when he had thought Thomas was his father.

  “You’re right, Graystone. Your price is too high, I can’t promise forgiveness.”

  Arthur nodded. “I understand, but I’ll take the test anyway.”

  “You will?” Sydney couldn’t believe it. Ellis had found Trevor’s grandfather and he was willing to be tested. Now the only miracle that they needed was a match.

  “Yes, Sydney, I will.” Arthur stood up. “I owe Cathy’s memory more than I could ever repay.”

  Ellis drove Sydney up the winding roads to Lookout Point. Thomas told him the way the other day when they had learned that Andy, the pharmacist, had seen Arthur and Cathy up here. Thomas figured he might want to see the place where it all began. He didn’t care too much about that, he was more interested in the view and in a few minutes alone with Sydney when they weren’t near a bed. Put Sydney and a bed in the same room, and wham, his mind only functioned on one level. All he could think about was making love with her.

  He gave her a sideways glance as he pulled into a parking space and shut off the engine. Sydney had been awfully quiet since they left Arthur Graystone’s house. He couldn’t blame her. It hadn’t been a very pleasant experience. The only good thing to come out of the whole thing was Graystone’s admission that he was Ellis’s father, but more important, his agreement to take the test.

  The first part of Trevor’s miracle had occurred, and all because of Sydney. He had been ready to walk out the door and either give up or try another day with Graystone. Not Sydney. She had hit Graystone right where it counted. She had hit him with Trevor and his illness. As he had said earlier—she was smart and beautiful.

  He glanced out of the window and noticed a winding path that skirted the parking area. Lookout Point wasn’t your typical teenage hangout. It was a small park overlooking the town two thousand feet below. “Let’s go for a walk.”

  Sydney gave him a curious glance before getting out of the car. “Okay.”

  He joined her at the side of the Mercedes, reached for her hand and led her down the path. A wooden picnic table sat at the side of the path and he pulled her down onto the seat next to him. Coalsburg was spread out below them like some tiny miniature village. He could see Sydney’s nursery, the acres of trees that enclosed it and the tiny little square that was Thomas’s house. Graystone Manor was also easy to pick out with its manicured lawn and brick wall that surrounded the place. It looked like a lonely place to live.

  To the right of Main Street was the neighborhood where his mother and Thomas had lived when they were growing up. Off to the left and up several blocks was the tall white steeple of the church where his grandfather had preached. This was where it all began.

  Over the past several weeks he had come to realize this was where he belonged. He belonged at this place, but more important, he belonged with this woman.

  He loved Sydney and his life wouldn’t be complete without her by his side. He wanted to be part of a family, a whole family.

  He continued to hold Sydney’s hand as they stared out at the valley below. His gut instinct told him that she felt the same way, but something was holding her back. Something was scaring her. Sydney accepted and fully participated in their physical lovemaking, but emotionally she seemed hesitant, unsure of either him or herself. Which, he couldn’t tell.

  He had questioned Thomas on Sydney’s earlier upbringing and received the standard answers. Thomas had only known what Youth Services had told him. No one really knew what Sydney had gone through, except Sydney, and she didn’t talk about it. At least she hadn’t talked to Thomas or his wife. Maybe there was a chance she would open up with him and discuss her past.

  From his perspective there were only two reasons that Sydney held back her emotions from him. Either she was afraid of being abandoned, as she had been by her parents. Or she didn’t want to get too involved with him and share the enormous responsibility of a critically ill child. Who was to say it was even fair of him to ask her to take on that kind of responsi
bility. Trevor, after all, was his son.

  “Syd?”

  “Hmm...”

  “How do you feel about Trevor?”

  “Trevor? Well, I’m excited, anxious and partly sick to my stomach with worry Graystone won’t be a match.” A small smile of encouragement lifted her lips. “I have my fingers crossed, my toes crossed and even my eyes are crossed.”

  He knew that feeling well enough. “I know you care a great deal about his health, but I wanted to know how you felt about Trevor as a person, not as a sick child.”

  Sydney’s hand trembled slightly. “I’ve fallen in love with the little tyke.”

  “He’s easy to fall in love with.” He squeezed her hand. This was good. This was very good.

  “I know it sounds strange now, after all the fussing I did in the beginning, but I secretly wish that he really was my father’s grandson.” Her shoulders gave a helpless little shrug. “He’s brought a lot of warmth and happiness back into the house.”

  “I didn’t know your mother, Syd. But from what Thomas and you have told me about her, I don’t think she would have wanted Thomas or you to stop living and enjoying life just because she’s no longer here.” If only half of everything Thomas had told him about his wife was true, Julia St. Claire had been one amazing woman.

  “You’re right. It’s just been so hard on my dad. You, and especially Trevor, have given my father a reason to rejoin the living. Thank you.”

  “No thanks are necessary, Syd. If it hadn’t been for Thomas I doubt if I ever would have tracked down Arthur Graystone as Trevor’s grandfather.” He pulled her closer and cupped her cheek, forcing her to look at him. “Thank you for finding Graystone’s weak spot. I was too upset at the time to think clearly.”

  “Call it a hunch.”

  He could call it many things, but nothing fit it more than “love.” “Do you know Trevor asked me if we could move out here?”

  “Really, he wants to move to Coalsburg? That’s a first. Most kids want to move into a big city where there’s plenty to do. Coalsburg is known as a hick town.”

  “To a five-year-old it’s paradise.” His fingers stroked the gentle curve of her jaw. “There’s only one thing I could think of that he would love more than moving out here.”

  “What’s that?”

  He studied her eyes. “Getting a mom.” He saw the distress that clouded her gaze, but he continued. “He needs a mom, Sydney, not a housekeeper.”

  Sydney looked away. “All kids need a mom.”

  He felt the warmth he had been feeling earlier start to fade and he dropped his hand. Sydney wasn’t reacting quite the way he had hoped. “Trevor needs one more than most other little boys because of his illness.” He had to be honest with her, no matter how much it broke his heart to say the words. “Trevor’s illness will become critical if Graystone doesn’t match and if we can’t find another donor while Trevor’s in remission.” His voice was breaking with unshed tears, but he needed to tell her. “Trevor will be requiring a lot of care and loving no matter which way it goes.”

  He saw Sydney shake her head in denial, but pushed on. His biggest fear lay before him. He loved Sydney—he knew that now for sure. But if Sydney agreed to become his wife and Trevor’s mother, she would have to share his fears for his son. “Do you know how strong a person would have to be to stand helplessly by and watch a child die?”

  “Stop it!” shouted Sydney as she brushed away tears streaming down her face. “Stop talking like that!” The tears ran faster than her fingers could brush them away. “A match will be found. If Graystone doesn’t match, there’s the registries. People are joining the registries all the time. A match will be found if I have to go out and personally beg every person across this country and beyond to get tested.”

  He almost smiled at her determination. “What would you do, Syd, if you had a son with leukemia?”

  “Exactly what you are doing,” Sydney said, sobbing. “I’d search for a donor, and love him.”

  Ellis pulled her into his arms and slowly rocked her as huge sobs racked her body. Trevor wasn’t the reason she held a part of herself back. He could feel the tears she was shedding for his son soak the front of his shirt. “Hush, Syd, it’s going to be okay. We have to believe that.”

  Holding Syd as she cried for his son gave him a strange sense of comfort. He didn’t understand it. Didn’t want to understand. All he knew was that he wasn’t alone in this horrible nightmare any longer.

  Sydney slowly got herself under control and pulled out of his arms. She fumbled in her pocket for a tissue and used it to blow her nose. “I ruined your shirt.”

  “It will wash.” He plucked a clean tissue out of her hand and gently dried the streaks of tears running down her face. “Better now?”

  Sydney nodded. “Yes, thank you.”

  He should tell her she was welcome, but he didn’t. He should be the one thanking her. He gave her a couple moments to compose herself before softly asking, “Can you tell me about your past, before the St. Claires adopted you?”

  Sydney studied the crinkled tissue being crushed in her hand. “Does it make a difference?” Her voice trembled with each word and her expression was guarded.

  “To me, no.” He reached out and touched her cheek where the tears had been. “But I think it might make a difference to you.”

  Sydney slowly shook her head. The pain that clouded her eyes wasn’t for Trevor any longer. It was for things that might have been, could have been and never were. Her voice was barely above a whisper when she asked, “Can you please take me home now? My father must be going out of his mind wondering how it went at Graystone’s.”

  He studied the pain in her eyes and knew he wouldn’t push the subject any further this afternoon. There was enough pain in her life and he didn’t want to cause her any more. He had grown up bitter and resentful of his father, who had refused to claim him or want him. When Thomas told him about her childhood, Ellis couldn’t imagine what Sydney must have felt knowing her parents abandoned her at a gas station out on the interstate at the tender age of four.

  He cupped both of her cheeks and softly kissed her trembling mouth. “We’ll go back now if that’s what you want. But I want you to know one thing first.”

  “What?”

  His mouth sought hers again for a quick kiss. “I’m in love with you, Sydney St. Claire.”

  Chapter 12

  Two days later, lying in Ellis’s arms, Sydney felt the heat of his kisses and the strength of his desire for her as he urged her to reach a higher pinnacle. She couldn’t climb any higher. She was on the edge about to go over, but she wanted him with her. She needed him with her when she tumbled into the abyss.

  Her hands reached up and stroked the trembling muscles across his back. Her rapid breath matched his and heated skin slid against heated skin. His pace was unmerciful and delicious. Each thrust sent her soaring, craving more.

  She reached up and skimmed her mouth over his jaw. His jaw was smooth from his recent shave. He smelled like expensive cologne, but he tasted like heaven. A heady blend of sweat, desire and heat..

  Ellis’s fingers threaded their way into her hair and forced her to look at him. His voice was a low growl, “Now, Sydney.”

  She could see the dazed look enter his eyes and knew he had reached the limit of his endurance. He was perched on the brink with her. She tightened her legs around his hips and hung on to him as she allowed the tide of passion to sweep her over the edge. Somewhere in a distant corner of her mind she hear his hoarse cry and knew it signaled his own release.

  Ten minutes later she was still trying to control the rapid pounding of her heart as she lay exhausted against Ellis’s chest. His own brisk heartbeat beneath her ear told her he was suffering the same fate. The night had turned cool and Ellis had thoughtfully pulled up the blankets. It was a good thing that he did. She didn’t think she had the strength to move one lone muscle, let alone the entire group of them it would require for her to re
ach the blankets that had been shoved to the bottom of the bed. Ellis was her hero. Her incredibly sexy and patient hero.

  In the two days since his talk of moving to Coalsburg and getting a mother for Trevor, he had been charming, attentive and amazingly forward in his courtship. He sent her flowers. He sent a woman who owned her own nursery flowers! Of course she grew and sold rosebushes, not long-stemmed red roses. He teased her unmercifully in front of her father and Trevor, who saw what was happening and egged him on further. Her father seemed totally thrilled with the courtship of his one and only daughter.

  Ellis had gone from a secretive lover to a very public suitor. During the day he tempted her with sweet words and smoldering glances. His nightly visits to her room were filled with passionate kisses, words that made her blush and want, and hot love.

  His courtship was sweet and a great ego booster, considering they were already lovers. Ellis didn’t have to court her, she was already his. Didn’t he realize that she was already in love with him?

  Ellis’s hands gently stroked her back. “Penny for your thoughts?”

  “Who has the strength to think?” Her lips pressed a light kiss to the center of his chest.

  “Do that a little lower and you’d be amazed at what I have strength for.” His hands skimmed her hip and tugged her closer.

  She could feel his laughter rumbling deep within his chest and she grinned. This was how she had always dreamed having a lover would be like. Ellis was exciting, serious and playful. “That’s mighty big talk from a man who ten minutes ago was begging.”

  Ellis’ strong fingers danced across the small of her back and over the curve of her bottom. “So you think it’s all talk, do you?”

  She instinctively wiggled closer. “If I say yes, your male pride would force you to show me otherwise, wouldn’t it?”

  “Indubitably.”

  She giggled. “I’ve never heard anyone ever actually use that word before.” She loved the way Ellis made her feel. He made her feel alive.