by Ivy Jordan
I pulled away after a couple strokes and replaced my mouth with the warm sudsy cloth. I stroked slowly, up and down on his shaft, still kneeling before him, looking up and watching his lips part and growls escape.
His hands reached down to me, his fingers intertwined in my hair as he tugged upward.
“Kiss me,” he pleaded, pulling me up to his mouth,
Our lips met as my hand continued to stroke his cock. He throbbed in my hand, his arms tightened around me, and warm cum spilled onto the cloth.
“Damn,” he sighed, squeezing me tightly in his arms.
I washed his hair while he caught his breath and wondered if he’d let me shave his scruff. I didn’t want to remove it all, just trim it up, but I decided to wait for another day to ask.
Dried off, dressed, and both sexually satisfied and bellies full, we fell onto the bed into each other’s arms.
I wondered if Xander had been having nightmares since I left, but I didn’t ask. I snuggled up in his arms and watched as he drifted off to sleep, hoping that, even if he had, that they would stop again now that I was back.
I was warm and content in Xander’s arms as he slept, but not tired enough to fall asleep myself. I reached down, under the nightstand, and searched for the book I’d been reading before I left.
A stack of envelopes fell onto the floor as I pulled out the book, envelopes all addresses to me. I pulled them up, propped myself up on the pillow behind me, and stared at them with confusion. Why hadn’t they been mailed?
There were half a dozen letters, maybe more, some thick, like several pages were inside. They were all sealed, all stamped and addressed, and since they were to me, I figured it was okay to open them.
I slid my finger across the paper, tearing open the first envelope. I read what Xander had written, so sweet, so open, and my heart crushed deep into my chest. I tore through another, and then another, until I’d made my way through the entire stack.
One was signed, ‘I love you,’ and all of them professed a desire to have me in his life. I looked over at Xander, who was still sleeping soundly, and felt my heart rip from my chest. This man had stolen my heart, and here all this time that I pondered whether or not he cared, he actually loved me.
I leaned down, kissing Xander on the tip of his nose as he slept. His hand lifted, swatting the skin that had been tickled with my lips, and then his eyes pulled open.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, pain in his eyes as he stared up at me.
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I lifted the stack of opened letters.
He sat up abruptly, snatching the letters from my hand. He shuffled through them, panicking as he stared at each one, opened, read.
“Where did you find these?” he questioned.
“I was looking for my book. They were addressed to me, so I thought it was okay to read them. Why didn’t you send them?” I whined.
“I couldn’t,” he sighed, falling back onto the pillow.
“If you had, I would’ve been here so much sooner,” I admitted with a smile.
He turned to me, his eyes still wary and stressed. His lips curled into a smile as he pulled me into his chest.
“I’m not good with sharing my emotions,” he confessed.
“You’ve done an amazing job in the letters,” I smiled.
“I really do care for you, Bailey,” he whispered.
No mention of love, like he’d written in one of the letters.
“I really care for you, too,” I sighed, snuggling up against his warm chest.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Xander
The sun blasted through the window. My eyes squinted at the brightness glaring in through the glass as Bailey rolled over in my arms. Her smile woke me up, bringing energy to my otherwise exhausted body. It felt good to sleep with her in my arms again. No more nightmares, only dreams of her and I.
“Good morning,” she whispered, stretching her neck to reach my lips with hers.
She tasted sweet, even first thing in the morning with chocolate syrup still lingering on her lips from the ice cream the night before.
“You’re cold,” I observed, pulling her tightly into my chest.
“Someone slept like a baby last night and let the fire die down,” she teased.
“Well, I’ve been exhausted without you in my arms at night, tossing and turning,” I chuckled.
Her eyes widened and filled with concern.
“Have you been having nightmares again?” she asked.
“I was, at first, but then I had a beautiful dream where you saved me,” I sighed, rolling to my back.
She rolled towards me with her head lying on my chest. I looked down at her eyes, eagerly waiting for me to elaborate, and for some reason, I didn’t feel the need to hold back. I told her all about the dream, every detail, and also about how I used it to fall asleep with each night.
“I’m glad I was here to help, even if I wasn’t really here,” she whispered.
I reached up, taking her hand and pulling it to my chest. I spread her palm across my heart, letting her feel it pound against my flesh.
“You’ve always been here,” I smiled.
“Hey,” Liam’s voice burst through the front door with him, cheery and loaded down with more supplies right behind it.
“Holy shit, he’s alive,” I jumped out of bed, sliding into my pants before greeting him at the door.
He looked over my shoulder, a wild grin growing on his face.
“I thought that was your car at the bottom of the mountain,” he commented to Bailey, who now was hidden mostly under the blankets.
“Hey, Liam,” she called back with bright red cheeks.
We hadn’t bothered getting dressed after our shower, and her clothes were still in the floor near the shower. I rushed in, grabbed them, and placed them on the bed beside her.
“Sorry, babe,” I whispered, leaning down to give her a quick kiss on the nose.
She giggled as she slid the clothes under the blankets and wiggled to get them on without Liam catching a glimpse of her perfect, nude body.
I moved to the fire, tossing on a log, and poking it quickly to get some heat generating into the cabin.
“Let me help you,” I offered, grabbing one of Liam’s large packs that was so full I nearly dropped it.
“Damn, what did you fuckin’ buy this time?” I questioned.
“Just damn near everything,” he chuckled.
Bailey was up and dressed and standing at the kitchen counter as I helped Liam unpack his bags.
“I brought something for ya,” she smirked, moving quickly to the pot of chowder she’d shoved in the small fridge.
“Is that clam chowder?” he gasped.
“It is,” Bailey grinned.
“Thank you,” Liam reached towards her, pulling her into his arms.
She shivered and squealed when she snuggled into his cold coat. Liam laughed.
“You make that trip last night?” he questioned Bailey.
She nodded.
“Holy shit, you’re a beast,” he teased.
“Where did you stay?” I asked.
“I stayed at the little motel in town. I mean, it wasn’t as nice as this place, but it had cable and heat,” he joked.
“I was glad you didn’t try to make it up here in that storm,” I admitted.
“Only someone nuts would try and do that,” Liam winked in Bailey’s direction.
“Hey!” she exclaimed, slapping him playfully on the shoulder.
He laughed as he slid out of his coat and boots,and tossed his gloves on the counter.
“I’m gonna heat up that chowder. Anyone else want some?” he asked.
We both declined as he carried the pot to the fire. I watched him poke at the log to get a bigger flame as he hooked the pot into place. I wondered what was going through his mind finding Bailey there with me.
“I’m gonna make some real breakfast,” I announced, pulling the eggs and bacon from the fridge. �
��We’re running out of room for all this stuff you keep bringing up here.” I informed Liam, who appeared to care less.
He was busy stirring the pot of chowder, dipping his spoon in for quick tastes just as Bailey had done.
“I’ll take an egg or two, maybe some bacon, potatoes if you’re makin’ em,” he finally said, turning to wink in my direction.
“Anything else?” I laughed.
“Nah, that should hold me over,” he smirked.
“Hold you over, til when, next Christmas?” I teased.
“Until I have to make that last trip down the mountain,” he stated.
“Last trip?” I asked curiously.
“Yeah. While I was in town, I made a few phone calls, and I have a job lined up,” he stated.
I knew he’d said he wanted a break, and that he wasn’t sure how long he’d stay. I was confused why he suddenly was ready to go back to work, unless it was because of Bailey.
“Don’t leave on account of me. I have to get back to work myself in a couple weeks, so I won’t cramp your style too much longer,” Bailey chimed in.
“Oh hell, it’s not because of you sweetheart,” Liam promised.
“Well, what brought this on?” I pushed.
“I’d put in my resume for a position with the NFL. I got the call back, they want me on the team as the personal trainer to the players,” he boasted.
“Holy Shit, Mr. Big Time,” I roared, rushing to my friend for a celebratory embrace.
Bailey congratulated Liam, making him promise that he wasn’t leaving because of her. He assured her she had nothing to do with his decision.
“I’ve been here driving Xander crazy long enough,” he winked in my direction.
He knew he hadn’t driven me crazy, well, at least not the last week or so. I was growing accustomed to having him around, and truth be told, I was going to miss him.
“So, who made this chowder?” Liam asked, taking his first bite.
It was easy to see by the expression on his face, that he was impressed.
“Lila, my best friend from school, and my neighbor,” she boasted.
“Tell Lila she is amazing,” Liam smirked.
Bailey had already opened the bacon and started peeling potatoes, dicing them up into small squares for the cast iron skillet. I jumped in, dicing an onion, heating the oil, and then slapping the bacon on the griddle.
It was nice having my stove back, but I didn’t really mind cooking over the flame of the fire. Bailey helped me clean up as we practically danced in the small kitchen area, synchronized perfectly with our movements.
Liam sat on the couch, eating the chowder and making sounds of pleasure with each bite. Bailey giggled at his reaction, leaning in to whisper that she really needed Lila’s recipe. I didn’t say anything, figuring if she did learn to make the chowder, I’d eat it every night of my life if it made her happy, even though I didn’t really like it.
“You about done with your appetizer?” I teased, breaking the eggs carefully over the hot griddle surface.
Liam grunted, brought the empty pan over to the sink, and then filled it up with water.
“That was incredible,” he patted his belly.
He looked over my shoulder as I peppered the eggs, growling as if he were starving.
“Over easy?” I questioned.
“Yup,” he smiled and then grabbed three plates.
Bailey scooped out potatoes onto each plate, and then placed three strips of bacon on each. I slapped two eggs on mine and hers, and then four onto Liam’s.
“Wow,” he gasped at the amount of food he’d been served.
“Really? I’ve seen you eat that for a snack,” I joked.
“Let’s eat outside,” Liam suggested.
The sun was out, and it was starting to warm up, but Bailey grabbed a large throw to keep over her shoulders anyways.
Sitting at the table, under the sun, it was pretty comfortable for me and obviously Liam who wore only a t-shirt.
The food was delicious, and the company amazing. I couldn’t have asked for a better morning.
“I’m gonna miss this place,” Liam admitted.
“I’m gonna miss you, brother,” I frowned.
“Ahhh, you’ll be fine. You got Bailey here to keep you warm at night,” he smiled.
“Until she has to leave again,” I winked in her direction.
“You can always come off this mountain and stay with me if you get cold or lonely,” she smirked.
That was a topic still up for debate. I wasn’t certain I would fare well in the town below my secluded mountain, but for Bailey, I might try.
We all sat and enjoyed the scenery while we ate, Liam telling us stories about his job offer. I was glad to see him happy and doing something other than training aging housewives.
Bailey got up, announcing she was cold, and grabbed our emptied plates from the table. When I tried to get up and help her, she pushed her eyebrows down, motioning towards Liam, insisting I stay and talk with my friend.
“So, this job offer, it is real?” I questioned once we were alone.
Liam laughed, his eyes squinting into the sun as he looked in my direction.
“Of course,” he sighed.
“Okay. I just thought maybe it was Bailey, and you didn’t want to say anything before,” I explained.
“Look, I saw her car last night. I was going to make the trip up the mountain once the storm calmed down, but I figured you might want some time alone,” he smiled.
“So you are leaving because of Bailey?” I pushed.
“No. Relax. I got the call, that is all true, and it’s my dream job,” he insisted. “If it weren’t for Bailey being here, I may have turned it down,” he finally admitted.
I was thankful he hadn’t. It sounded like an amazing opportunity.
“I think you’ll be okay,” Liam slapped me on the back.
“I think so too,” I smiled.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Bailey
“What the hell is in this bag?” Xander exclaimed, lifting my backpack with both hands.
I laughed watching him struggle, knowing I’d carried that thing up the mountain in a storm.
“I brought some things for you,” I admitted, feeling that there was no better time than the present to bring up his PTSD.
Xander looked surprised as he set the bag down onto the couch. He opened the top, peeked inside, and then looked up at me with confusion.
“What did you bring me?” he asked.
I moved towards the couch, reaching into my bag, and pulled out a stack of books. I’d visited the local book store, purchasing every book they had on PTSD, and even printed out about a dozen articles and pages from the forums that helped me.
“I thought these could help,” I smiled, handing the stack to Xander.
He didn’t look excited or even impressed as he read the titles of the top books.
“What am I supposed to do with these?” he questioned, a sour look inching onto his face.
“Read them. I thought they could help,” I insisted.
“You’ve helped. That’s all I need,” he grumbled.
“Well, you want to get off this mountain eventually, don’t you?” I asked, worried that maybe I was wrong.
Maybe Xander has no desire to ever leave his secluded lifestyle. If that’s true, where does that leave me? Us?
Liam walked through the front door, stopping as he stared towards Xander and I.
“Everything okay?” he questioned.
I knew he and Xander were close, and if he’d been here with him all this time, he knew what kind of troubles he suffered from. Hell, he was there with him, through it all, or at least most of it. There was a good chance that he’d been through the same hell and struggled with the same pains of reality as Xander.
“I brought some books on PTSD, but he doesn’t want them,” I pouted.
Liam shook his head, walked towards Xander, and took the books from his hands.
“Here, this is a damn good book. It helped me tons,” he said, shoving the thickest one back towards Xander.
“You read this shit?” Xander snapped.
“Of course. It was part of my therapy,” he admitted.
I was so relieved to see Liam so open, and so eagerly pushing Xander towards the same goals as me.
“I’ve been telling him to find someone to talk to,” Liam told me.
“I don’t need someone to talk to,” Xander argued.
My blood was starting to boil at his stubbornness, but I remembered what my dad had told me. I had barely scratched the surface of Xander’s pain, and there was a good chance he hadn’t even come close to recognizing all his disorders.
I took a deep breath while Liam laughed at his friend.
“We all need someone to talk to,” Liam encouraged.
“I’ve got you, and I’ve got Bailey,” he sighed.
“You need a professional. Trust me, brother,” Liam pleaded. “It doesn’t make you a lesser man to admit you need help.”
I smiled, reaching my hand out to Xander’s arm, stroking it gently to let him know I cared about him, that I was there for him.
“I came back up here, not only because I missed you, but because I was hopeful we could work on getting to a place where we could have a future,” I confessed.
Xander’s eyes widened on mine and glossed over as if they were welling with tears. My heart swelled as I took his hand, squeezing it tightly.
“Okay. I’ll do it,” Xander finally agreed.
Liam slapped him on the back cheerfully, and then fell onto the couch.
“You have no idea how happy that makes me,” Liam boasted.
“Me too,” I sighed.
Xander pulled me into his arms, his hug so tight I gasped for air with the squeeze.
“I’ll call Lila and get her to set something up,” I announced.
“I really don’t want to go into town for these sessions,” Xander pushed back.
“Well, you can’t expect the counselor to climb this mountain, brother,” Liam chuckled.
“I’ll find someone that uses Skype,” I suggested.
Liam lit up at the idea, and even Xander seemed to warm to it.