by Ivy Jordan
My wife? A police car pulled up from the north block, beating the ambulance driver by a few seconds. My heart pounded hard again, this time with pure panic. My eyes scanned the scene, stopping on a little black wallet and part of a pink phone. I moved away from the man I knew I couldn’t kill with so many witnesses, and quickly scooped up the items, sliding them into my shorts pocket.
The ambulance stopped, unloading two EMT’s who rushed to her side. I watched, hopeful, but scared, as they worked to bring her lifeless body back to life.
“Is she dead?” the gray-haired man sobbed as some stranger put her arm around him, consoling him. Consoling him? What about me?
“Can you tell me what happened?” a strong male voice caused me to turn. It was an officer, young, maybe twenty-two, still with pimples on his freckled cheeks. “Sir, can you tell me what caused the accident?”
“She-we, were running. The traffic was stopped, he ran the red light and slammed into her,” I pointed angrily at the sobbing man.
“You were running together?” the officer inquired.
I nodded, finally feeling the overwhelming pain of possibly losing her hit my gut. She wasn’t moving. If she was dead, it was all my fault. Why didn’t I stop her?
My body took over, lunging me towards the gray-haired man, ready to kill him, witnesses or not. “You fuckin’ dumbass,” I snarled as my fingers clenched around his scrawny neck. I could feel his veins bulging from his loose flesh as I squeezed a little tighter.
Zing! “Fuck!” I growled at the incredible tingle rolling through my spine. Someone fucking tazed me.
Everything went black, and then bright colors danced from the inside of my eyelids. This wasn’t my first time being tazed, so I knew not to fight it, to just fall. Someone caught me, saving my head from bashing into the ground; for that, I was thankful. Whoever it was, wasn’t strong enough to hold me. Their grip loosened, and my body slowly slid to the asphalt.
Commotion was all around me: chatter, sirens, honking horns from commuters with no empathy for the woman lying lifeless in the street. Fuck. They have dinner to get to, shuffleboard tournaments, affairs. Assholes!
“I got a pulse,” I heard a voice not far from me say.
I opened my eyes. Damn, they still burnt like hell. No change. She was still lifeless, but alive.
The nerves in my body began to slowly unravel, allowing me to regain some control. The officer that questioned me earlier extended a hand, helping me to my feet. As I stood, a fucking tazer rested in his holster where his gun would be if he were a real fucking man. Seriously? This little douche-bag tazed me?
“They have her stable. If you want to ride along, I’ll meet you at the hospital,” the officer offered with a weakly apologetic tone.
“Yes,” I blurted, eager to be by her side.
“I’ll get all her information then,” he nudged me towards the EMTs, who were already loading the beautiful, lifeless body into the ambulance.
One of the EMTs stayed in the back of the ambulance, while the other took his position at the driver’s seat. The sirens sounded loudly, and without hesitation, we were off, full blast towards the hospital.
“Your girlfriend?” the EMT asked as he started an IV in her hand.
My eyes glared at the diamond ring on her finger, “Fiancée.”
His eyes saddened, as if to apologize for her condition. She is going to make it. She is going to be fine, right?
“I’m so sorry,” I sobbed, gripping her hand in mine.
They were tiny, and cold, but so beautiful. “What’s her name?” The EMT asked.
“Maddie,” I blurted before I was able to come up with anything else. I didn’t want them to know her name. I didn’t want anyone to know her name.
The ambulance pulled into the hospital, stopping at a wide set of white doors. Doctor’s rushed to the entrance, holding the doors open wide as the EMT unloaded Maddie from the truck. Her long hair hung over the bed, her eyes remained shut with such relaxation she looked as if she were simply taking a nap. If not for the blood, the dirt, and the scrapes, I could imagine her resting, not struggling to stay alive.
“Female, twenties, jogger hit by a car, vitals are weak, but present, Maddie is her name,” the EMT spouted as he handed her off to the doctors at the door. “This is her fiancé,” he added, looking at me with question.
“Isaac,” I gave him my name, and then he patted my back, smiled, and moved towards the passenger side of the truck.
I followed behind the stretcher that carried her, praying that she’d be okay. “You’ll need to wait here,” a tall, blonde, female doctor instructed. Her finger pointed to a small waiting room next to a nurses’ station and soda machine. I didn’t want to wait there. I wanted to be by her side.
The female doctor and two others wheeled her away as I stood frozen on the white tiled floor of the emergency room. Nurses quickly followed, pushing carts into a small room, where if I stretched, I could still see inside. “She’s in good hands,” an older woman wearing purple scrubs assured me. Her chunky hand gripped my forearm, pulling me towards the waiting area as the curtain closed.
I sat down in one of the blue leather chairs as instructed by the older nurse. The leather was obviously fake, squeaking as I pushed back into the seat to find comfort. My neck stretched outward, trying to see or hear what was going on in the small room, but not quite far enough.
Nurses and doctors rushed in and out of the curtain Maddie was hidden behind, none with faces that offered reassurance. “Sir,” one of the doctors, a stubby man with no hair and thick eyeglasses, said as he walked towards me. I quickly stood, fearful of the news he planned to deliver.
“You’re the fiancé?” he asked. I nodded. Brace yourself, Isaac. “Are there any family members we can contact?” he questioned.
My chest tightened, and my knees began to buckle beneath me. “No,” I sighed.
“No parents, children?” he questioned.
No, fuckin’ no; just tell me!
“She has swelling on the brain. We’d like to take her to surgery right away, but would need consent if at all possible,” he explained.
Relief fell over me like rain on a hot summer’s day. “Yes. Will that fix her?” I asked.
“There is no guarantee it will. But, if we don’t perform the surgery soon, she will not survive,” he instructed.
I nodded, unable to speak. He pushed a clipboard towards me with a form attached. “Sign here,” he pointed to the authorization. I scribbled my name and then watched as his stubby finger pointed towards the top line on the page. “We just need you to put her full name and birthdate at the top.”
My hand shook as I gripped the pen, slowly lifting it to the space at the top of the page. I ignored the fact that her ID said she was Maddie Stewart, born on December thirtieth, nineteen ninety-two, and wrote down Maddie Grubbs, born November eleventh, nineteen ninety-three. I didn’t want anyone looking for her, or worse, finding her. Especially the one guy that didn’t deserve her. I would keep her safe and make sure she had everything she needed until she woke up.
The scribblings satisfied the doctor enough for him to nod, and then turn back towards the small room. I followed behind him, determined to see her once more. “Sir, you can’t come in here,” the female doctor ordered as soon as she noticed me enter the curtain.
“I want to see her before surgery,” I insisted, not stopping until I reached the side of her bed.
Her body looked so frail, so tiny under the white hospital sheets. They’d stripped her out of her clothes, which they’d bundled up beside her on a small chair covered with plastic.
“It’s a good thing you were with her. She didn’t have any ID on her,” one of the nurses informed me.
I leaned in, brushing Maddie’s strawberry-blonde hair from her forehead and letting my finger graze across the small scar just between her eyebrows. It was a characteristic that most would’ve missed, but not me.
“I love you, Maddie,” I whispered in her ear, an
d kissed the scar.
“We have to go,” the blonde doctor demanded, pushing the bed away from me as I stood there, tearing up, scared, hopeful, and unsure if I was doing the right thing.
Chapter Two
Maddie
Aches roared through my body as I tried to move. Why can’t I move?
My eyes opened, slower than expected, and as they focused on a white ceiling tile, someone in a blue shirt leaned over me. I screamed, or at least I thought I did, but no noise left my lips. Hair from the v-neck shirt poked out, grazing against my chin as he continued to hover over me.
When he righted himself, standing by my side, his eyes widened with surprise, and a smile spread across his face. Do I know him? Does he know me?
“Glad to see you’re awake. Don’t try to talk. Let your body slowly wake up; it’s been through a lot,” he instructed.
My body has been through a lot? What has it been through?
Another shadow towered over me, a tall man, wearing a nice white dress shirt. His green eyes filled with tears as he pushed his face against my chest. I felt him sobbing as his grip tightened around my aching body. “Ooooh,” I managed to moan, burning my throat as the sound escaped.
The man lifted, apologized, and leaned out of view as the first man reached for something inside my mouth. I struggled not to hurl as he removed what felt like a long tube from down my throat. I coughed, only to feel another strong burning sensation. Where am I?
“You were asleep for a long time, little lady,” the man with the blue shirt spoke.
Nothing about him was familiar, and neither was the room I was in. “How long?” my voice scratched out.
“Since Friday morning when you came in, so three days,” he explained, far too chipper for a kidnapper. I couldn’t remember anything. I couldn’t remember going anywhere, coming here, or either of the men that seemed to know me so well.
“Where,” I paused as the burn took over.
The nicely dressed man with the buzz cut and tearful green eyes leaned in, his chair making a horrid screech on the uncarpeted floor. “You’re in the hospital, Maddie. You were hit by a car when we took our jog,” he explained.
His hand pressed into mine, squeezing it gently as he smiled. My eyes closed, and I felt safe, although I didn’t know why. I believed this man I’d never met, trusted him, but I wasn’t sure why he called me Maddie when my name was…what is my name?
Tears rolled from my eyes, even with them clenched shut. The heat from the salty liquid burnt my cheeks. As quickly as they fell, the man’s warm, comforting hand wiped them away. “It’s gonna be okay, Maddie,” he whispered.
How does he know that? How does he know me?
“Maddie?” a female voice caused me to open my eyes. A tall woman with long blonde hair leaned over me. She wore a white jacket, her name, Dr. Walker, embroidered above the pocket, and a badge with her picture and the same name clipped just below. “Can you tell me your name?” she asked.
My body shook with convulsions as I struggled to remember. I shook my head, allowing more tears to fall onto the stiff white pillow beneath me.
“Can you tell me where you are?” the doctor asked.
“The hospital,” I muttered.
“Very good,” she applauded. “Do you know what year it is?”
I perked up for a moment, ready to spew out the answer to the easy question. Nothing. My mind was blank. I couldn’t remember. “I don’t know,” I cried.
“It’s okay. You had a serious brain injury, and you’ve been asleep for a while. Don’t push yourself too hard; we’ll wait and just let it come back to you,” the doctor smiled sweetly and then flashed a bright light in my eyes.
I followed her instructions, looking up, down, to each side, and then straight ahead. Her hand rested on my wrist as she stared at her watch, and then finally, she left the room.
There was no sign of the man with the blue shirt and hairy chest, only the one dressed so nicely with the green eyes. “You don’t remember anything?” he asked.
“No,” I sighed.
“Nothing at all?” he probed.
I shook my head and then closed my eyes shut tight. Maybe this was a dream, a strange dream. I just wanted to go back to sleep so I could wake up at home, know who I was, and not feel so alone.
I must’ve drifted out because the sounds in the room were soft and unfamiliar as I started to open my eyes once again. Several people, all wearing scrubs, were in the room. I watched, carefully analyzing each face, hoping to remember one of them, but nothing. “Look at you,” a black woman grinned, her hand resting on her hip and her voice heavily carrying an accent.
“Where am I?” I asked, hoping for a new answer from the one I got before.
“In the hospital,” she said, her grin quickly fading from her face. “Do you know your name?” she asked.
I let my eyes close and my mind relax as I tried to come up with an answer. Maddie was the only thing that came to the surface of my lips, but I knew it was only because that man had called me that.
My eyes opened, and I pushed myself up in the bed as I scanned the room. He wasn’t there. My body felt stronger, but not strong enough to get out of bed just yet. “Are you looking for Isaac?” the nurse asked.
The others started clearing the room, offering warm smiles in my direction as they exited. “Who?” I asked.
“Isaac. Your fiancé?” she said cheerfully.
My what?
“He’s been by your side, never leaving since you came in. He must really love you,” the nurse gushed. I didn’t have a fiancé, and if I did, I was certain I’d remember him. “He just left for a cup of coffee,” she added, checking the fluid bag hanging above me, and then stepping out of the room.
I was reeling with the comment that this strange man was somehow my fiancé. My hands pulled to my face, rubbing wildly as I tried to snap out of this nightmare when something snagged my bottom lip. I pulled my hands away, slowly focusing on the large diamond ring wrapped around my ring finger on my left hand. It was true. I am engaged?
Isaac stood in the doorway, staring at me with a strange fear in his otherwise, beautiful green eyes. “We’re engaged?” I asked, suddenly filled with guilt for not remembering this man.
I watched carefully as he stepped into the room. He placed his coffee cup on the table beside my bed, and then took a seat in the chair to my left. “Are you feeling any better?” he asked, totally evading the question I just asked.
“I’m stronger,” I replied, but pushed my eyes to demand an answer to my question.
“Yes,” he said softly, but our eye contact broke quickly. He hated me. Of course he hated me. I didn’t remember him, the man I was pledged to love for life, and I didn’t know who he was. He couldn’t possibly want to marry me now.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, reaching for his hand.
He seemed surprised as my hand rested on his. “You have nothing to be sorry about,” he demanded. But, I did. I couldn’t imagine what it must feel like to have the love of your life not recognize you.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t watching you,” he apologized.
“What happened?” I sat up in bed, suddenly eager to learn everything I could.
“We were jogging, like I said. The traffic stopped, and I had to catch my breath. You’re a beast,” he chuckled. I liked the sound of his deep rumble. It wasn’t familiar, but still soothing. “You ran ahead, and I followed a few steps behind. The car came out of nowhere, in the third lane, unseen until it was too late,” he finished.
“Do we jog all the time?” I questioned.
“You more than I,” he smiled.
Something about his smile reminded me of a warm, safe place. Maybe if he kept talking, I’d remember. “Where do we live?” I questioned.
“We have a big house on the beach,” he answered.
“The beach?” I knew it shouldn’t be so shocking to me that I couldn’t remember the beach, or that I lived on one, but it was. �
�Do we have kids, animals, friends?” I grilled.
He laughed, another sound that was strangely soothing to me, even though not familiar. “No, no, and of course,” he grinned.
I wondered why our friends hadn’t come to visit. What about family? Do I have a family?
A knock on my half-open door pulled me away from my interrogation. A young girl held a large tray in her hand and smiled as she brought it to the small desk that rolled over my bed. “Dinner,” she said without any other explanation and walked away.
My body felt weak, and short, angry grumbles rolled through my belly as I smelled the food. Isaac stood, walking over to the table and unveiling my dinner. It wasn’t nearly as impressive as I’d hoped, but I was starving. Isaac’s eyes rolled in the direction of the plate. “I’ll have them bring you something else,” he offered, but I didn’t know why. Everything looked delicious.
“No. I’m good with this,” I insisted.
“Oh really?” he giggled.
I nodded, grabbing my fork and scooping out a large piece of the meatloaf from the plate. I pushed it into my mouth, suddenly not as excited to be eating. “Gross,” I gasped as Isaac let out a laugh.
My spoon rolled through the blue Jell-O with the same enthusiasm. The texture immediately turned me off, causing me to spit it from my mouth and into a napkin. “What do I like?” I asked, realizing Isaac knew me better than I knew myself.
“The mashed potatoes,” he smirked.
I didn’t fight him when he offered to get me a new meal, grateful that he knew what I liked. How horrible is this gonna be if I never remember even the smallest of things?
When he returned with a bowl of chili, crackers, and a large coney, the smell immediately brought the grumble back into my belly. I scarfed the food down like I hadn’t eaten in days because, apparently, I hadn’t.
When finished, Isaac scooted towards the bed, letting his strong hand rest on mine. “Tell me about myself. Maybe it’ll trigger something,” I pleaded.
“You need to rest,” he smiled, covering me up with the blanket as he took the empty tray of food from my desk. I didn’t need rest. I needed to know.