by Reese Morgan
Pushing away from his sprawled form, Hayden took a couple steps back, trying to get ahold of her anger. He gradually sat up, staring at her with fury, but a hint of something else, something she was too frustrated to identify.
“Before you left,” Hayden said, “you gave the impression that you didn’t feel as if you had a place in the pack, but you’re wrong. Just because someone doesn’t have a rank, doesn’t mean they aren’t important.” Realizing she was sounding too emotional, she quickly finished. “Most of us wouldn’t admit it, but we were all affected by your absence.”
Blake chortled, breaking the silence. “They say distance makes the heart grow fonder. In this case, it seems to apply for Hayden.”
Underneath the recent dilemma with Nathan, there was still that tingling sense of betrayal from Blake’s actions earlier that evening. When she looked at him, there was no humor on her face, only a great deal of bleakness that took him by surprise.
“I’m going running,” Hayden announced abruptly. She turned on her heel and began answering the questions that would have undoubtedly come from Cole if she hadn’t predicted them beforehand. “Alone. Please don’t follow me. And yes, I’ll stay on the property.”
Her wolf began tearing through her restraints and Hayden barely made it outside before she began transforming. She was restless, irritated with everyone, including herself, and desperate for a distraction. Only her wolf would know how to soothe her restlessness.
* * *
“What are you doing up there?”
“Scouting for a good place for our tree house,” Hayden mumbled quietly. She pressed her cheek against the cold bark and gave Blake a disinterested glance.
She was currently lying on her belly across a sturdy branch, her arms and legs dangling off the sides like a sloth who’d lost its ability of hanging upside down. With her cheek pressed against the branch, she had a good view of the street and a section of Adolf’s property.
The beta stopped at the base of the old oak and gazed up at her. “That’s probably not the best spot for a tree house. Cole could see you perfectly from the foyer. If you built it here, you wouldn’t get much privacy from him. You and Fergus should find a tree in the backyard.”
Hayden grunted. “And did he send you out here? Cole?”
“Considering you were running for an hour before suddenly showing up hanging from a branch, yeah, he was a bit concerned.” Blake shrugged. “I volunteered to see if you’re alright.”
“I’m fine.”
Whatever bond she shared with Cole was becoming increasingly bothersome. Experiencing each other’s strong, steadfast emotions was especially inconvenient. Hayden didn’t have much privacy in a pack full of men, so she’d always treasured her guarded emotions. However, even her emotions were on display and she could do nothing about it.
She didn’t want Cole to feel her self-pity or her misery. Standing unwaveringly on her own two feet was a vital trait to possess with a mate like Cole. She constantly felt obligated to be as strong as he was.
“You don’t look fine.”
“I’m meditating,” she hissed back, still peeved with Blake.
Technically, she was trying to mediate and flatline her emotions. While she was running, she’d come to the conclusion that she’d been reckless with many things as of late. Most of the time, she was just trying to do the right thing when no one else was inclined to do so.
But she could have gone about things differently. Instead of trying to do things herself, or with Asher as her sole companion, she could have spoken to Cole or someone more levelheaded for assistance.
Of course, Hayden could argue that most of her decisions were made on the fly, and as a result, her actions were instinctive. Obviously, said instincts were reckless, but if she hadn’t acted in time for Nathan, he would have been dead. And if she had acted sooner for the rogues, they might still be alive.
Clearly, despite her intentions of helping, she just continued to be a burden to her pack.
The branch she was leaning on suddenly bowed down. Blake had jumped and grabbed the base of the branch, hanging from it and swinging his legs leisurely back and forth.
“You know, when Rachel was a part of Xavier’s pack, I really liked her. Of course, at the time, she was focused on Cole and Nicolas and didn’t notice me.” At Hayden’s sharp look, Blake scoffed. “They never gave her the time of day. Cole and Nicolas both prefer females who give them a challenge.”
Hayden sighed. She didn’t want to hear about Cole’s previous love preferences. “What are you getting at, Blake?”
“Geeze, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were going through your time of the month.” He adjusted his hands around the branch. “What I’m trying to say is that I’ve been attracted to Rachel for years. So yeah, I jumped at the chance when she finally began noticing me.”
“For her own underlying motives,” she muttered under her breath.
“Obviously.”
Hayden raised her head and looked down at Blake. “You know?”
Amber eyes tossed her an unimpressed look. “Give me some credit. I may be a male, but I do happen to have some intelligence. If you would have come to me before threatening her at The Lounge, I could have told you all this beforehand. I get angry when you stick your nose in my business, acting as if I’m some kind of oblivious idiot like Fergus and Nathan.”
Sitting up from her lounged position, Hayden perched on the branch. “So then why…”
Blake raised his eyebrows incredulously, as if she should have already known the answer. “Cole was right.”
His statement confused her for a moment, and then she remembered the conversation from earlier that day. “Oh,” she mumbled, her cheeks warming just slightly. “You’re with her for… fun.”
“Among other things,” Blake confirmed unabashedly. “She’s enjoyable to be around and I know there is more to her than her less-than desirable motives.”
“Do you love her?” It was a difficult thing to spit out, but Hayden somehow managed it.
He hung motionlessly from the branch and considered her question carefully. “I don’t know. Can you love someone when you think they are unredeemable and have ulterior motives? Even if it doesn’t work out with her, the time was worthwhile.”
Hayden pondered on that, wondering if it was more than just a good time for Blake. Maybe he loved her, maybe he didn’t, or maybe Fergus was right. Maybe Blake was with Rachel because he felt needed. Or maybe he spent time with her because he was not reminded of Devan’s—and more recently—Nathan’s absence.
It could be a number of reasons, but Hayden knew her limits. She would not press the topic any more than she already had.
Blake suddenly swung his body around and maneuvered himself upon the branch. He moved closer to Hayden, looking at her seriously. “Rachel aside, I was wrong to get angry with you. I realize you were just trying to help, in your own special way.”
“In my own special way,” she repeated dully.
“Yes, in your own way.” The beta offered a miniscule grin. It vanished soon after it came, bringing with it weary sadness. “I betrayed your trust by mentioning that you and Cole were life mates. I can give excuses to why I did it, but it doesn’t change the fact that I betrayed you.”
Hayden shrugged ineloquently.
“If it makes you feel better, I don’t think Rachel will tell anyone about what she heard.” Blake exhaled heavily and leaned closer to Hayden. “Even if she did, it might do Cole some good.”
Remembering Cole’s bold and unexpected treatment with her on Adolf’s property, Hayden shuddered and flushed. “I don’t know if I want him to change his mind about us being life mates,” she admitted, truly confused about what she wanted.
It was easier when Cole was unwavering on his decision to keep a respectable distance. With his steadfast attention on her as of late, Hayden felt uneasy, as if she’d lost control over the situation. She kept asking herself why he would change his opin
ion on forging a relationship when he seemed so adamant about it before.
Blake guffawed. “He won’t want you to remain unclaimed with so many hungry males around.” He closed one eye and squinted at her solemn form. “All males defend their mates, but Cole will have an especially hard time keeping you to himself. The only males who will pursue you will be other Alphas or other dominant males that know how to fight well.”
She scowled at him, but he forged onward, a mischievous spark entering his eyes that immediately worried her.
“You do know why dominant men want you as their mate while other, more submissive men avoid you, right? Addie hasn’t explained this to you, has she?” Solid white teeth stretched into a wicked smirk. “You represent a challenge, something they can attempt to tame. It’s arousing for Alphas, like Cole, to be constantly challenged by a free-spirited female, someone they can claim for themselves.”
Hayden stared at him listlessly before shoving him off the branch. He did nothing to stop his descent and only laughed on his way down. Landing in a pile of snow, he gazed up at her in delight.
“Someone needs to explain the birds and the bees to you. I’d rather it be me, your older, more experienced brother. You won’t get such high-quality information from Nathan or Fergus.”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” she growled down at him. “I’m not so naïve that I need your crude explanation of something I already knew. Warn me the next time you think it’s necessary to share your experience.”
Blake only laughed louder. Hayden observed him, a reluctant smile tugging at her lips. It was hard to keep a grudge, especially with someone like Blake. She’d missed him.
Bracing herself on the branch, she hooked her feet at the edge and let gravity take its course as she slid over the side. Hanging upside down, she extended her hand to Blake in apology.
“I’m sorry for butting into your business with Rachel. Next time, I’ll be sure to do it in a way that leaves me guiltless.” She flashed a brilliant smile at Blake’s dour expression. “I’m joking.”
Blake took her hand and shook it. “You’re forgiven.” He then yanked her completely off the branch, laughing all the while.
9. Chapter Nine
A tense-filled Thanksgiving passed quickly and Christmas was just around the corner. To Blake’s disappointment, his family had been prohibited from visiting during the holidays. According to Cole, the situation with the Hunters was still unstable. He didn’t want to risk anyone being caught in the crossfire, innocent humans especially.
Fortunately, with the pack gradually regaining their stability, the holidays weren’t as painful as Hayden had initially feared. The pack’s reconciliation was a slow process, and while there were still stretches of regression, it was a decent start.
Unsurprisingly, Nathan was a major contributing factor behind the pack’s regression. Still ashamed over his failure against Tobias, he treated the pack as scapegoats, Hayden in particular.
She didn’t take his attitude too personally, but then again, she was never around to experience his hostility. Now that Cole knew about her training, Hayden spent more time with Adolf. It helped that she was absorbing his instructions and improving quickly. She could finally hold her own during their sparring and she couldn’t imagine a time when she didn’t know how to throw knives.
Hayden could pretend she was investing more time in her training because she wanted to improve faster, and because she wanted to evade Nathan’s hostility, but she was also trying to avoid Cole and his sudden closeness. As if knowing it unsettled her, he made it his priority to watch her more often and accidently brush against her when he passed by.
After the conflict with Rachel, Hayden had expected the whole town to know about her relationship with Cole. Oddly enough, there wasn’t even a whisper about life mates, and Rachel never showed her face around Cole’s property again.
“Good,” Adolf complimented gruffly. Quickly, he added a critique to save face. “Remember to extend your leg further.”
Hayden grinned despite herself. She ducked below a well-aimed knife thrust, the blade a flashing arc of silver above her head. She swiped her own blade, the tip just barely avoiding Adolf’s groin.
“No!” Adolf leaped backward, his eyes wide and his cheeks flushed with both anger and indignation.
She muffled her chuckle at the predicted response, patiently waiting for him to begin the lecture he always sprouted whenever she got too close to his manhood.
He did not disappoint. “I did not teach you that,” he growled, unaware of her budding humor. “I never want you to use that as long as you’re connected to me. I will not be known as the Alpha who teaches others to go for a man’s groin. It is a cheap shot and a shameful one at that.”
Hayden popped up from her crouched position and caressed the dull edge of her dagger. “Maybe it is a cheap shot,” she agreed. “But it’s built into a female’s defense mechanism. It’s why men were given such vulnerable and exposed Achilles heels.”
Adolf looked unimpressed. “You are a better fighter than that. When you are dying and bleeding on the ground, preferably with two broken legs, then you may use that maneuver.”
“Is that a backhanded compliment?”
His grey eyes narrowed, yet he didn’t confirm or deny it. Without glancing away from Hayden, he threw his dagger and imbedded it skillfully in the tree next to her head. “We’re finished for today.”
She pondered on the short training session, wondering if she had truly insulted him or if he had other things on his agenda. “Getting ready for the gathering tomorrow? Preparing appetizers in the kitchen?” she inquired innocently.
A few days ago, Hayden discovered the werewolves had an annual gathering scheduled the day before Christmas Eve. All the Alphas and their pack members met in a neutral territory to celebrate another year. Food would be the main attraction, as Fergus and Blake had mentioned only a few hundred times, but there would also be games and contests available to anyone interested.
Another scathing look was sent her way. “Isn’t cooking your job?”
“You mean my job personally? Or a female’s job in general?” Hayden hissed back, lowering her lashes with insult. “Men cook just as well. Fergus can make incredible carrot cake.”
“You do realize you’re comparing a pack omega to a pack Alpha.”
She sheathed her own dagger and considered the current line of conversation. “You know, if you want to impress Addie, you should compliment her cooking. In fact, she’s slaving away in the kitchen right now. She’d be tickled if you noticed her hard work tomorrow.”
He considered her. “Would you be flattered if someone complimented you on your cooking?” His flat look proved he found that doubtful.
“No…” Hayden paused, wondering why the pack never complimented her meals before. There was a lot of work involved with opening cans or microwaving dinners. “But if you’ve actually come to admire me and wanted to woo me instead of Addie, you could always compliment me on how well I’m doing with training.”
“Then it’s a good thing I don’t make a habit of complimenting you.” Amusement flashed in his eyes, gone so quick one might have mistaken it for indigestion. “Go,” he shooed her away. “Make yourself useful and help Addie with cooking.”
Deciding not to mention that Addie would be more grateful if she stayed out of the kitchen, Hayden merely followed his order and retreated from his property. Instinctively, she glanced towards Asher’s house, knowing she wouldn’t see a blond-haired beta clambering down the road but hoping nonetheless.
He wasn’t there. However, she did see a human perched at the end of a driveway.
“You’re avoiding me.”
Hayden stopped abruptly in her tracks. “Not intentionally,” she consoled guilty. “I’ve been busy training with Adolf. How is your grandfather?”
Shane blinked languidly, intentionally ignoring the Hunters behind him. Men were congregated in the Donovan’s garage, cleaning weapons and sp
eaking amongst themselves. A few kept glancing her way, watching through mocking and mistrustful eyes as she approached Shane.
The human was bundled up against the cold elements, a sharp contrast to Hayden’s shorts and t-shirt. He even had mittens on his hands and a loose scarf around his neck.
“He’s the same as before. He hasn’t improved very much.” Grimness lined his features. “I wish things were back to normal,” he told her quietly. “It’s nice seeing my father again, but I liked it when it was just Red and me.” He eyed her outfit. “Training, huh? Does he keep you on such a tight schedule that you can’t stop by for a minute or two? Or are you just avoiding me because of what happened between the rogues and the Hunters?”
Hayden exhaled, knowing she couldn’t deny it any longer. “I might have placed unnecessary blame on you, yes.” Flashing the Hunters one last look, Hayden plopped down next to him. “I know it wasn’t your fault.”
“I’m just glad you were able to escape unscathed. I heard Asher left town.” Shane appeared despondent. “I couldn’t imagine what you two saw.”
Kicking her feet out in front of her, Hayden surveyed Adolf’s house from across the street and tried not to feel the emptiness that usually accompanied the mention of Asher. “What happened with the Hunters was definitely something I never want to see again.” Gloomily, Hayden remembered Cole emphasizing that the rogue killings were reality and something she would see again.
She just hoped he was wrong.
The two sat in silence for a while, both lost in thought.
Shane suddenly turned to her, determination setting his jaw. “Have I ever told you why I love and respect my grandfather so much, Hayden?”
“You haven’t.” She was only slightly amused by his passionate tone. After all, she was quite familiar with Shane using an idolizing tone whenever the topic of his grandfather arose.
“He isn’t perfect,” Shane insisted fiercely. “He has many flaws and he committed a lot of sins in his lifetime. But it takes a strong man to admit he’s wrong. It takes an even stronger man to accept his failures and search for redemption. He realized he was destroying lives by hunting and killing werewolves. It was why he traveled to Oregon to ask Xavier Slayter what he could do to atone for the lives he’d stolen.”