He only pulls away for air, but every time, I feel like I’m drowning and hyperventilating all at the same time. It’s too much, yet not enough, and I never want it to stop.
CHAPTER FIVE
During the War it seemed that even Mother Nature was taking sides. While massive rains of almost biblical proportions were only one of her weapons, flooding destroyed many cities and left others cut off completely from the “mainland.” The rains were followed by drought, which left many previously inhabited lands barren.
—EXCERPT FROM A BRIEF HISTORY OF THE 21ST CENTURY
Evie
Gavin and I stand outside the gates, our packs resting on the ground by our feet. The moon has set and the sun hasn’t risen yet, so it’s practically pitch dark. I shiver in the chilly air. While I love the cold, I’m not used to it.
I wonder, though, if it’s really the weather that’s making me shiver or if it’s my nerves. One of the first things Gavin taught me when I was released from the hospital was that I should never leave the gates of the village when it’s dark. There are too many hungry animals that hunt at night. He wasn’t very specific about what animals, but I didn’t really expect I’d stray too far from him and never asked.
Even Gavin appears nervous as we wait. I know he is thinking of all the things that could, and probably will, go wrong. He’s already got his shotgun in one hand and his body is tight as he surveys his surroundings. After a minute, though, he relaxes and picks up his pack with his free hand. He slings it over his shoulder and stares out over the coast.
That nervous energy of his is still humming, and he looks so sad looking out over the water that my heart clenches.
I want to tell him it doesn’t matter. That I’m okay not remembering anything of my past. But I can’t. It wouldn’t be true and he’d know it. Besides, it’s not the only reason we’re going. It’s not even the reason he’s going with me. It’s just my most important reason, so I keep my mouth shut and reach for my bag instead.
The movement causes Gavin to turn toward me. “You ready?”
His voice is still thick with sleep and his drawl even more pronounced than usual. He stifles a yawn and crosses to me. The dark circles under his eyes, barely visible in the pre-dawn light, make me remember he hasn’t been sleeping again. And it’s my fault. We’d done nothing more than kiss, even after I’d let him pull me back to bed, but I’m sure he stayed up all night to watch me, even after I’d fallen asleep. He’s going to make himself sick if he doesn’t get some sleep soon.
I nod in answer to his question, but keep a stranglehold on my pack, twisting the strap in my fingers. Gavin glances down and eyes my bone white fingers, made even whiter by the pressure I’m exerting on the strap. He places one of his bronzed hands over mine. The contrast is striking, but that’s not what causes me to shiver. It’s the warmth of his hand on mine.
He doesn’t say anything, and I look up from our hands to see him watching me carefully. It’s not the look he gives me when he’s trying to see if I’m all right. It’s different this time, and it makes my breath catch.
The sun is just rising behind him and while the sky is slowly starting to lighten, his gray eyes are still in shadow. A lock of his hair has fallen over one of his eyes. I reach up to brush it away, but he grabs my hand and just presses it to his cheek.
My stomach flutters and my heart trips in my chest. I can’t tear my eyes from his, not that I want to, even when the sun comes up behind his head and threatens to blind me. I could stare into them forever and never have another care in the world.
But before anything can happen, Asher tosses his bag at our feet and says, “Mornin’! A great day to destroy our lives, don’t you think? The birds are singing, the sun is shining…”
Immediately I step back, the pack dropping from my loose fingers, while Gavin makes a disgusted sound. He roots around in his bag and says, “If you didn’t want to go, why’d you volunteer to take us?”
Asher shrugs. “Well, it certainly wasn’t for you.”
Gavin gives him a tight smile. “Anything you do for Evie, you’re doing for me. Or did you forget that?”
Asher’s mouth thins into a line.
Gavin shrugs. “But if you want to stay here, stay. I’m sure I can figure out some way to get into the city on my own.”
Asher snorts. “They wouldn’t let you within a hundred feet of the gates without me and my paper.” He pulls a paper from his bag and waves it back and forth.
Gavin tries to grab for it, but Asher only folds it up and shoves it into his pocket, then smiles at me, nodding his head. “And a fine morning to you, Princess.” He wiggles his eyebrows at me and I have to fight a chuckle. It’s obvious he’s only doing it to upset Gavin, and from the way Gavin is fuming, I would say it’s working.
Shaking my head, I say, “Good morning, Asher.”
Gavin glares at him. “’Swear, if I didn’t need you—”
“Well, you do. Get over it.” Asher reaches down for my bag at the same time I do and our hands bump. He gives me another of his cocky grins. “A gentleman always assists a lady with her luggage. Hunter can handle the rest.”
Gavin makes a grab for the bag, but I say, “I can take it,” and lift it before he can. It’s heavy for me, but there’s no need for the two of them to start a quarrel now, especially over something so petty. I refuse to be a bone they fight over. And if they’ve started this stuff now, it’s going to be a long trip.
Asher, however, keeps his hand on the bag so I’m not able to flip it onto my back. His tone changes, losing that air he had before. “Are you sure? It’s at least a week’s walk from here. You’ll need all the strength you have to get there. And after yesterday…”
“I’m sure. I feel just fine today,” I lie, giving him my most winning smile. I’m freezing and I ache everywhere, not to mention the bag feels like it weighs a hundred kilos. My arms threaten to shake as I struggle to keep the bag in front of me.
It’s obvious neither of them believe me. Asher continues to frown and even Gavin is watching me with a strange expression. Guess I’m not as convincing as I hoped. After a minute, Asher turns on his heel, dropping my bag, and runs back into the village.
“Now where is he going?” Gavin tosses his hands into the air.
I let the bag drop back to the ground and try to decide whether I should sit while Gavin starts his pacing. I’ve just about made up my mind to when I hear the strangest thumping sound. It even vibrates the ground. Nervous, I look to Gavin, who frowns in the direction Asher went. He doesn’t seem scared, only confused.
When I turn back around, I see Asher riding what looks like a cloud of dust, but is actually a giant animal with long legs and an even longer neck. Clamping down on the squeal that wants to erupt from my mouth, I step back into Gavin, who rubs a hand up and down my arm.
Asher drops down off the leather seat and stands next to me. The beast lifts its head and shakes it back and forth, causing the straps on its head to jingle.
Pure panic makes my heart race and I gasp and jump away, bumping into Asher, who chuckles. The beast blows out a breath and I have to fight the urge to flee. The beast is tall, looming above me. Maybe even taller than Asher. It’s silvery, but glows pink in the sunrise. Its eyes watch me with every move and, if I didn’t know better, I’d say they were laughing at me.
“Relax. She’s a good horse. She won’t hurt you,” Asher says, his tone soft and gentle.
I don’t relax, but I do stop trying to run away from it. “A horse?” I’ve heard of horses. I think. The term is familiar to me, at least. I glance at its sides. I thought they had wings, though. There don’t appear to be any. That’s disappointing. I’ve been wondering what it would be like to fly.
“There are no cars outside Rushlake. You want transportation—it’s the horse or nothing.”
“Transportation?”
He gives me a smile. “You really are a princess, aren’t you? Trans-por-ta-tion?” He pronounces each syllabl
e slowly.
I know the word, but it doesn’t fit. I don’t see how this animal could be used for travel. How would you control it?
Gavin fills me in. He always seems to know exactly what I’m thinking. “We ride her.” He pats the large thing sitting on its back. “And she’ll carry us to where we need to go. The city’s a long way from here, you’ll want her to do the walking for you. Trust me.”
He’s always matter-of-fact when he has to explain the obvious to me, but I can’t help feeling stupid every time. It’s always worse in front of other people.
“Plus the best part is she works for hay and sugar cubes.” Asher chuckles to himself and gives the animal a pat on the neck. It makes a soft sound and I catch a glimpse of large teeth under its loose lips.
I swallow hard.
Asher pats something on the back of the animal. “See that seat? That’s how we ride her. She’s also used by the farmers to do … whatever it is they do.” Gavin snorts, but Asher ignores him and continues, “She’s a good girl. Aren’t you, Starshine?” She raises and lowers her head in what I can only call a nod. He pats her neck again and she leans her large head down and nibbles on his hair.
Afraid she’s going to eat him, I gasp, but she pulls away and huffs out a breath as if to tell me to stop being ridiculous.
Curiosity outweighs terror, and I reach out a hand to touch her neck … but curl my fingers into a fist and drop my arm at the last second.
Asher takes my hand. “It’s okay. She won’t hurt you.” He smiles down at me, then turns to the horse. “Evie, this is Starshine. Starshine, this is Evie.”
He places my fist on her neck and my heart pounds. After a minute, though, when the beast does nothing more than stand there, my heart settles and I uncurl my fingers to rub my hand down her neck.
It feels different from anything I’ve ever felt before. The skin is warm, and firm. The hair is soft and thick, coarse. I have to admit I like the feeling. And that she’s very pretty. Tentatively, I step closer. Starshine moves her head and stares at me, the straps over her head jingling.
I’m startled, but I don’t move. Her eyes are the prettiest blue I’ve ever seen. I swear I can see kindness in them. And intelligence.
“See? She’s a good girl. So?” Asher’s eyes sparkle with mischief. “May I offer the lady assistance in mounting her noble steed?”
Before I can say no, Asher bends and nudges my foot into his hand. He murmurs a few instructions to me, but it’s all I can do to hear him, much less understand before I find myself in the seat on the horse’s back, one leg on either side of her wide chest. My skirt hikes up my thighs and I fight the urge to tug it back down. It won’t do any good anyway.
He winks at me. “Probably should have worn jeans instead of that skirt, Princess.”
I ignore that, although Gavin said the same thing to me this morning. But the hand-me-down pants from Ann Marie make me uncomfortable. I can’t really explain why, but I feel out of place in them. Not to mention, they’re a bit large in the hip area, making me jealous of Ann Marie and her figure. Even though my skirt is just as borrowed, it’s somehow more familiar.
“Uh, Asher, I … I don’t know how to ride a horse.” I try to not look as terrified as I feel. It’s a long way back down to the ground and I clutch tightly to the saddle in hopes of keeping myself firmly in place.
He only grins and swings into the saddle behind me, causing me to grab wildly for purchase and shriek when the whole thing tips slightly.
“Not a problem. I’ll be right behind you. I promise I won’t let you fall.”
Before I can even think of what to say, Gavin grabs Asher’s arm and tugs—sending Asher crashing to the ground with a thump—before taking the leather straps attached to the horse’s head and walking forward with her. The horse starts walking and I cling to the knobby thing again, trying not to scream when the saddle shifts with each step.
Gavin looks up at me from where he walks next to the horse’s neck. “You’re doing great, Evie. Just keep holding on to the horn”—he taps the thing sticking up from the seat—“and holler if you want me to stop.” Then he leans back and kisses my leg just below the knee.
My stomach flutters and I smile down at him, wanting to run my fingers through his hair. Actually, I want to do much more than that. But I’m too afraid to let go of the horn.
Instead, I glance behind me to where Asher is just now pulling himself into a sitting position. He glares at Gavin for a second before pushing himself to his feet and limp/running to join us again. This time he stays on the ground.
* * *
No one really talks. We’re all probably just too nervous, but as the tortuous sun drags itself across the sky and nothing happens, I begin to relax. The horse’s steady gait rocks me until, between that and the heat of the sun, I start to drift.
I try to fight it, but after a while I give up and let myself float, staying awake only enough to not fall off the horse. It’s not like it matters if I’m alert. There’s nothing worth paying attention to anyway. Nothing to see, except kilometers and kilometers of sand and pale blue sky. There aren’t even any clouds to stare at. Which makes me a little sad. Gavin had taught me, when I was first allowed to go outside, how to pick out shapes in the clouds. We’d spent hours that first day, nuzzled up next to each other, pointing out different shapes between kissing. The kissing was my favorite part. Even now my stomach flips thinking about his lips against mine. Or on the side of my neck. How he held my face between his palms. Or ran his fingers through my hair, just staring at me, my heart beating so hard in my chest, I was breathless just from looking at him.
And now, the last few days. Nothing. Like we’re just really good friends.
A sigh escapes my lips and I blink back to the present to find I’m staring at him. He turns around with a frown.
“All right up there?”
I smile at him. “Perfect.”
He grins at me and the sun shines on him, highlighting his golden hair and making his bronze skin glow. My heart starts hammering as fast as it had in the memory and, for a second, I feel dizzy as we beam at each other.
Then Asher clears his throat and I realize with a start we’ve stopped walking.
“Are we going to stand here all day and stare at each other or are we going to try to get to the city sometime before the next war?” Asher grins at both of us.
For the very first time I can remember, Gavin actually blushes. He quickly turns around, makes a clicking sound, and starts forward again. Starshine continues on while I drift back into hazy, sleepy boredom.
It isn’t until the sun is high in the sky that Asher forces my attention back on the trip. “Forest dead ahead!”
Gavin scowls. “Can we not say ‘dead’ in conjunction with forest? I’ve had quite enough of dead forests, thank you very much.”
This confuses me, but I’m completely focused on the forest. It doesn’t look at all how I pictured. “Forest” may be a bit of an overstatement, actually. It’s just a collection of sad-looking trees.
Asher taps my knee and I glance down at him. “Not much of a forest, huh? It’s really just a bunch of scrub oak clumped together and some pine trees with palmettos tossed in for good measure.” He rubs a hand over the back of his neck. “But it’ll feel great to get out of the sun for a while. And the shade will cut some of this awful heat.”
He’s right. It feels about twenty degrees cooler the minute we step into the shade. Shortly after entering, we find a clearing and stop for a rest and some lunch. Which, to my dismay, consists of jerky. And even though my nose wrinkles at the sight of the shriveled meat, I eat it anyway.
I just want a solid hour or two to nap, but entirely too soon, Gavin is telling us we need to start going again. And I find myself back on the horse and traveling down that worn path again, trying to ignore how bored and sore I am. Asher is mumbling to me about something, but I’m so hot and tired, his voice is more a droning sound than anything else. I’m finding
it harder and harder to stay awake. Suddenly, the entire saddle jerks to the side and I let out a short scream when I feel myself tilting sideways as someone jumps up behind me.
Before I can fall, a strong arm snakes around my waist and pulls me close to a toned chest and stomach. I relax almost instantly. I know who it is even before I look behind to smile at Gavin.
“It’s okay,” he says in my ear. “I won’t let you fall.”
His voice is husky and I shiver, relishing the feel of him being so close. “Okay.”
Asher heaves a world-heavy sigh beside us and we turn to frown down at him. “I see how it is. Completely ignore me. I’ll be just fine being the only one on foot.”
Gavin smirks at him. “It’ll get some muscles in those skinny little bird legs of yours.” He leans against me again and gently pushes my shoulder until I’m facing front, then traces his fingers down my arms, whisper light, until his hands are over mine.
“Grab the reins,” he whispers. And I do, because when he talks like that, it’s hard to resist anything he asks me to do.
His hands tighten around mine, causing my hands to tighten around the reins. For the next little while I amuse myself by letting Gavin teach me how to control Starshine. It’s fascinating, how just a slight pressure from my fingers or my heel tells her exactly what to do. I have to admit I’m quite enjoying myself, but I’m enjoying the feel of Gavin’s body against mine more. Wicked thoughts—thoughts I have no business thinking ever, let alone with Asher less than an arm’s length away—fill my head and I bite my lip, hard, to try and force them away.
Unfortunately, or maybe it’s fortunately, Gavin seems to be thinking the same thoughts. He kisses down my neck, starting just below my ear and moving toward my collarbone. My breath catches in my throat and I let my eyes drift closed.
Now this is more like it, I think.
His hands move from mine to rest on my hips, his fingers trailing along the edge of my waistband, inciting little fires along every single one of my nerve endings. My fingers slip from the reins and I start to twist around to face Gavin, but he only breathes, “Don’t,” in his gloriously husky voice, then goes back to brushing his lips along my neck. The stubble on his jaw prickles my skin.
Revelations (The Elysium Chronicles) Page 5