'No,' she said.
'He must have felt whatever happened between you was final,' he murmured.
She made no reply.
He glanced at her. 'Were the bruises on your face and throat the only ones he gave you, Leigh?'
The shrewdness of the question brought a flush. 'He said a great deal,' she admitted.
'Getting his own back,' Matt commented.
'No, he was bitter because he'd heard I was going to work for you,' she said defiantly.
Matt grimaced. 'And his view of what sort of position you'd be occupying?'
'You can guess that without having to be told,' she said flatly.
'You disabused him of the idea?'
Her voice stiffened. 'Naturally.'
'Naturally,' he said with amusement.
'It wasn't funny,' she snapped.
'No, poor devil,' Matt muttered.
'Stop talking about him,' she said angrily. 'It's over. I want to forget it.'
He glanced at her oddly. 'You never loved him at all, did you, Leigh?'
'I was fond of him,' she said, her mouth firm. 'I still am. He's a very nice man. I wish I was in love with him. If I could have been, I would have been ...'
His brows drew together. 'You tried to make yourself fall in love and couldn't, Leigh?'
She sighed. 'I suppose so.'
He drove in silence for a long time, his eyes on the road, his face shuttered and impossible to read. Quietly, some half-hour later, he asked her. 'Were you completely crazy over that chap when you were seventeen, Leigh?'
Her heart seemed to squeeze in agony. She stared at the road ahead. In harsh self-mockery, she said, 'Completely.'
Matt said nothing, but the speed of the car shot up and they swished past the other traffic on the motorway at ninety miles an hour.
'You're going too fast,' she told him in alarm.
He gradually eased off without speaking. Leigh looked curiously at his hard, dark face. She was beginning to know him. He was angry about something. She suspected that he was capable of enormous compassion despite the tough exterior. He was sorry for Phil, oddly sympathetic to him, despite his faint contempt for him. Was he sorry for her, too? Had her admission that she had been so wildly in love at seventeen and been so badly hurt angered him on her behalf?
He was a strange man, she thought. There was that trace of cruelty in his mouth and eyes, yet a gentleness there too. She had been shown both.
They stopped at one o'clock at a small country hotel a few miles outside the beginning of the London suburbs to eat lunch. Matt made a charming companion throughout the meal, his manner quietly teasing at times, attentive, amusing, friendly.
They drew a certain amount of attention among the other guests. Catching a glimpse of their table in a long wall mirror Leigh saw Matt's handsome, dark head inclined towards her, his well-cut expensive clothes and assured manner underlining his good looks, while she was taken aback by an unexpected softness in her own face, her blue eyes caught smiling back at him as he talked, her smooth blonde head tilted in amusement. Anyone looking at them might be excused for imagining an extremely personal relationship, she admitted, with something of a shock. The realisation of how far he had got under her skin froze her.
Matt considered the change in her expression with lifted brows. 'Something wrong?'
'No,' she said stiffly.
He looked at her shrewdly. Calling for the bill, he leaned back, staring at her, and she could sense that quick brain trying to work out what had caused the change in her.
They drove into London in comparative silence. Leigh was cool and offhand, determined not to succumb again to the charm of his quick smile. Every time he looked at her in that way she felt the pull of an attraction so strong her struggles against it were physically draining.
Islington, she discovered, was an enormous sprawling London district which had long streets of beautifully proportioned early Victorian houses in it; their flat windows, shallow steps and stuccoed facades were elegant even when they had been neglected for years and left to moulder and decay. Many of them, however, had been "carefully preserved, and she was delighted to discover that Sam's house was one which had been lovingly restored to something approaching its original beauty.
Standing on the pavement beside Matt she looked up in admiration. The house was one of a long terrace. It had three storeys, above ground, and a barred-window basement below ground. It had been freshly painted in white and pale blue. A bright window box enlivened the windows on the ground floor, the reds, yellows and purples of petunias blazing against the white woodwork.
'The top floor will be your home from now on,' Matt told her, watching her appreciative face.
She turned a smile on him, her blue eyes bright. 'It's fantastic. Matt! I love it.'
He smiled, taking her arm. 'That's the first time I've ever seen real warmth in your smile, do you know that?' he asked lazily. 'Come and have a chat with Mrs. Sam.'
Mrs. Sam turned out to be a very small, bird-like woman with silvery grey hair, bright eyes and a ready smile. She told them that Sam had just popped out. 'Gone to the betting shop,' she grinned at Matt.
'Backing Printer's Devil in the three-thirty, is he?' Matt asked, his grey eyes dancing.
Mrs. Sam laughed. 'You know Sam, he always bets on impulse. Did you back it, Matt?'
Leigh was astonished to hear her use his christian name, and her quick look of surprise caught his grey eyes. A gleam of mockery came into his look back.
'No,' he said lightly. 'I backed on form, as I always do. I believe in form, not impulse.'
'Ah, well,' said Mrs. Sam. 'It takes all sorts.'
'The bookies must make a lot out of Sam,' Matt said drily.
'He enjoys it,' said Mrs. Sam, slightly defensive.
'That's all that matters,' Leigh said to back her up.
Matt turned a mocking eye on her. 'Is that really what you think?' he asked under his breath as they followed Mrs. Sam up the narrow stairs.
Leigh ignored him.
Mrs. Sam paused on the landing. 'I'm afraid there are a lot of stairs,' she said apologetically.
'Leigh's young,' said Matt. 'She can manage them.' His glance slid over her slender figure, lingering on her long legs. 'And she has very strong ankles.'
Mrs. Sam laughed. She gave Leigh a wink. 'Here you are, dear.' She pointed proudly to a freshly painted white door. 'Your own front door.' Unlocking it, she turned to hand Leigh the keys. 'You'll want to be private,' she said. 'It's completely self-contained.'
Leigh walked into the flat, feeling odd. For the first time in her life she would be living alone. She had always lived at home until now, and the prospect was both exciting and alarming.
The flat was delightful. It had been furnished with clean, modern furniture which was attractive without being strong in character. The ceilings were high, the windows tall.
Light streamed into the rooms. Mrs. Sam followed her, explaining about the various rooms.
'You see, you've got your sitting-room, your bedroom and your kitchen,' she said, a satisfied look on her face. 'The kitchen was a bedroom. It's a bit small, but it's got everything you'll need.' She opened a door. 'This is the bathroom ... newly installed.
Nice, isn't it?'
'It's simply lovely,' Leigh said enthusiastically. 'I never expected to find anywhere as nice as this.' She looked at the other woman gratefully. 'Thank you very much.'
Mrs. Sam beamed. 'We're glad to have a good tenant who comes with high references,' she said, her eyes moving to Matt. 'If Matt trusts you we, know we can.'
Leigh glanced at him and found that disturbing, teasing smile on his handsome face.
'Well,' said Mrs. Sam, 'sorry to rush off, but I've got a cake in the oven and I must get off to see it comes out on time. If you'd like to come down in half an hour, both of you, I'll give you some tea.'
'Thank you,' said Matt cheerfully, before Leigh could reply. 'We'd love to.'
When she had gone
an odd silence fell between the two left in the flat. Leigh wandered around, admiring things, feeling like a child given a beautiful dolls house to play with, and half wishing Matt would go instead of standing there, watching her.
'Now, Leigh,' he said as she ran out of things to look at, 'tell me what went wrong over lunch?*
She frowned. 'What do you mean?'
His mouth was quizzical. 'You were completely at ease one minute, the next I was looking at a woman with ice- cold eyes. What went on inside that complicated little mind of yours?'
'Nothing,' she shrugged. 'Shall we go down to have our tea now?'
He caught her hand as she moved to pass him and the touch sent a wild flutter along her pulses. She looked at him, off balance, her eyes darkening.
Matt made a sound under his breath, and pulled her towards him. Unable to resist, she curved into his arms, her mouth raised, and they kissed, their mouths exploring each other in slow, warm sensuality, her arms round his neck, a sensation of drugged bliss encapsulating her from all thought.
When they drew apart Leigh felt she had been poised on the brink of a momentous discovery and had come back too soon from the golden Eden into which he had taken her, so that she looked from his dark face to the room in which they stood with bewilderment. While they were in each other's arms time seemed to have stopped. The clocks had frozen in crystal silence. The golden sunlight had not moved. Now time flowed on relentlessly. The wind in a plane tree outside sent a flickering shadow pattern running across the floor. The clocks had begun to tick again. Leigh's heartbeat was loudly audible to her.
Matt was looking down at her oddly, his dark face unreadable, yet a curious expression which she could not decipher in his grey eyes. She looked back at him.
knowing that in the last few moments they had torn up the agreement on which she had based her acceptance of a job with him, yet unable to voice any protest, because she knew very well that she had invited it. She had wanted to be in his arms so badly at that instant that her eyes had openly told him so, and, being the man he was, he had responded.
'No comeback, Leigh?' he asked drily.
She lowered her head, her flush growing. 'We'd better go and have that tea,' she said huskily.
Without a word he turned and left the flat and she followed him, so shaken by what had happened that she felt weak. Remembering what he had said to her about her undefended citadel, she knew that had he decided to use all his power against her at that moment she would have fallen to him without so much as a token struggle. Yet he had withdrawn his forces, although she sensed that he, too, had known that her defences were completely down.
Sam had just come in when they got downstairs. In the large, cosy kitchen they all sat down to drink tea and eat slices of warm, rich fruit cake, while Sam and Matt argued about racing, and Leigh listened to them with amusement, seeing a side of Matt she had never seen before. It was clear that his relationship with Sam and his wife was an old one, based on mutual liking and trust.
Mrs. Sam asked Leigh about her previous job, and was interested in hearing about her home in Leicester, the family antique shop and her family. 'I've got something you'd like to see,' she said, getting up and opening a cupboard. She thrust a small porcelain figure into Leigh's hands. 'There, do you like that?'
Leigh gently turned it around in her smooth white hands. 'It's lovely,' she said warmly.
'Meissen ... have you got the pair? Or just this one?'
Sam chuckled. 'Just the one, Leigh,' he nodded. 'Mind you, she's been looking for the one that matches it for years. Her mother left it to her twenty years ago. Dotes on that thing, she does.'
Leigh smiled at Mrs. Sam. 'I don't blame you.' she agreed. 'It's beautiful.' Her eyes returned to the figure. She could feel the delicacy of the glaze under her fingertips. 'If the pair ever comes into my family shop I'll ask them to keep it for you,' she said. 'They'd be worth quite a bit if you had them both. Apart, they're worth far less.'
Mrs. Sam looked pleased. She received the figure back tenderly and replaced it in the glass-fronted china cupboard.
Matt stood up. 'I must go,' he said regretfully. 'I have a lot to do before I catch that plane tomorrow.' He smiled at Sam and his wife. 'I'll be seeing you, then.'
'Be careful in New York, Matt,' Sam said in fatherly concern. 'A very violent place, they say.'
'I'll be careful,' said Matt, his grin easy.
Leigh had stood up, hesitating. He glanced at her, his eyes coolly shuttered. 'Walk with me to the door, Leigh,' he said lightly. 'I've a few last-minute instructions to give you.'
She followed him out to his car and he leaned on the smooth top of it, his hand raking back his thick silver- flecked black hair as he surveyed her.
'If anything bothers you while I'm away you can trust Sam to the hilt,' he said. 'He'll he glad to help you. Are you all right for money, Leigh? London's more expensive than Leicester. If you need a loan until your first month's salary arrives I could see to that easily.'
'No, thank you,' she said. 'I've got quite a fair amount of savings.'
He nodded. 'Sure?'
'Quite sure,' she said flatly.
There was a breath of summer wind blowing through the plane tree, sending that flickering diamond pattern over her calm face, giving a shifting brightness to her hair.
Matt's eyes studied her coolly. 'I'll see you when I get back, then,' he said after a moment.
Leigh nodded. 'Have a nice trip.'
He walked round to the driver's door and unlocked it. Leigh watched him get inside.
The engine roared into life, he gave her a brief look, a wave and was gone.
She felt cold as she walked back in the new flat, confronting the beginning of her new life with a chill of loneliness.
Sam knocked on her door an hour later, asking if she needed any help in settling in, and offering advice on the best shops in the neighbourhood. Leigh and he walked down the stairs together talking and then she walked round to do some shopping for the weekend, buying all the provisions she thought she would need. On her return, Mrs. Sam asked if she wanted to place a daily order for milk. 'I can see to it when he comes tomorrow,' she offered. Leigh ordered one pint a day and stopped to chat for ten minutes, already beginning to feel that she was at home with the older woman.
'Sam could give you a lift to work each day,' Mrs. Sam offered. 'He starts at eight-thirty, so it would be a bit early for you, but it would save you the bus fare. No need to accept if you prefer to make your own way, but he'd like the company, if you don't mind getting up earlier.'
'I'd be very grateful,' said Leigh, taken by surprise. 'If he's sure it would be no trouble.'
'Sam would enjoy having an ear to bend,' Mrs. Sam laughed, her eyes twinkling. 'It seems silly both of you going to the same place and not going together.'
Leigh went to bed that night feeling a little lost, a little lonely, yet not unhappy. That Sunday she spent the whole day touring London at her leisure, taking buses from place to place, eating her meals out when it occurred to her. When she got back to the flat she was worn out and aching from head to foot. Mrs. Sam heard her come in and came out to speak to her.
'Had a good day?' Her kind eyes saw the weariness in Leigh's face. 'What you need is a cup of tea. I've got a pot made.'
'Oh, Mrs. Sam, I'm dying for tea,' Leigh admitted with a groan, following her into the kitchen.
She sat in a chair, nursing her aching body, drinking hot tea and listening to Mrs. Sam talking about her twin sons, Andrew and George. 'Like as two peas in a pod to look at, and yet they're so different in character. Andy, he's the practical one, very level-headed and shrewd. But Georgie! Daft as a brush even now, but he's got such a warm heart nobody could hold anything against him.' She moved on to dissect her daughters-in-law, kindly yet shrewdly. 'Andy's wife is a nice, sensible girl and they'll be very happy together, but my Georgie got a peach of a girl ... Diana, pretty, loving, a real daughter to me already. I've nothing against Andy's wife, Sue, b
ut I can tell right now that she and I are chalk and cheese.'
Leigh found it soothing to sit and listen to the family stories from the past, the little bits of local gossip, the comments on the neighbourhood shops. When Mrs. Sam began to talk about Matt, though, her heart leapt, as though even his name had power over her.
'Always more of a family friend than a boss he's been to me and Sam. Mind, we've known him for years now. It started when the twins were little. My Georgie had meningitis--nearly died, he did. Matt heard he was ill and he sent me some flowers and he insisted on paying for the best possible treatment for Georgie. He came round here to see how he was and stayed for tea. The next week he came round with a train set for the boys. He took to Georgie somehow. Used to visit us often, bringing him and Andy little presents.'
'That was very kind of him.' Leigh said, trying to reconcile this picture of Matt with the image of the cold, shrewd intelligent man she had first seen across the dining-room of a London hotel, the power of his physical presence imprinted with his worldly authority.
Mrs. Sam smiled. 'He is kind,' her voice said softly. 'You know that, Leigh. Of course, he was younger then, softer. He must have been nothing but a boy himself.'
Leigh half smiled at the idea of Matt as a boy, and Mrs. Sam caught the look and chuckled.
'He was,' she insisted. 'In his early twenties, just beginning to take the reins at World Gazette. His father, Mr. Stephen, he was Chairman in those days. Matt got the job pushed on to him early when Mr. Stephen had a heart attack. Of course, he didn't die, but he had to take things easy, and Matt took to it like a duck to water. I think he came round here to get away from all that. Responsibility is a terrible burden, Leigh, and Matt's responsible for every living soul at World Gazette. He never forgets it. Oh, he can be tough and lay down the law when he has to, but he's like my Georgie, he's a man of very deep feelings, even though he doesn't let them show on the surface. Georgie, now, he shows everything. He's never learnt to be like Matt and hide how he feels, but then in Matt's world I suppose you have to learn to hide things or you get eaten alive.'
'Yes,' said Leigh absently, her heart racing as she thought about him. It had never occurred to her that he might have deep feelings. She had seen him more as a brain embedded in a very sexy, attractive body. The combination of sexual promise with cold intelligence had been oddly chilling.
Charlotte Lamb - Pagan Encounter Page 10