His parents—who never gave or give or will give him many things—gave him this: a life preserver for the future, a raft for a drifting castaway, a way to, with time, keep them afloat, to pull them up from the depths where they were thrown, and to bring them back home walking on water and in writing. And, later, with all those words, to bring his sister down from the cliffs of madness and save her lost son, his beloved almost-son.
So, why not write?
They’ve asked him one of those questions that barely conceals an order of the impossible-to-disobey variety.
And he’s an obedient boy.
So he goes inside and grabs the first book he finds (and it’s not hard to grab; it’s another copy of his parents’ favorite book, a third copy, maybe the one they read together, when they’re not fighting, when they’re getting along) and he opens it to the first page and reads: “On the pleasant shore of the French Riviera, about half way between Marseilles and the Italian border, stands a large, proud, rose-colored hotel.”
He understands what it says there—the arrangement of the words—but not what he reads. “Riviera,” “Marseilles,” “Italy” are still candies of a strange and new flavor in the mouth of his eyes. But then, a few lines below, it talks about a “dazzling beach” and he experiences the novel wonderment at how something that exists there outside, something that he lives every day, at the same time and place, can become letters and exist there inside.
And he goes on to another page, various pages, and reads: “You never knew exactly how much space you occupied in people’s lives.” And “One writes of scars healed, a loose parallel to the pathology of the skin, but there is no such thing in the life of an individual. There are open wounds, shrunk sometimes to the size of a pin-prick but wounds still. The marks of suffering are more comparable to the loss of a finger, or of the sight of an eye. We may not miss them, either, for one minute in a year, but if we should there is nothing to be done about it.” And “who would not be pleased at carrying lamps helpfully through the darkness?” And “Strange children should smile at each other and say, ‘Let’s play.’”
And from there—because he senses that the effect and the superpower won’t last long—he jumps to the last lines of the book: “in any case he is most certainly in that section of the country, in one town or another,” he reads.
And he looks for the notebook that he uses for drawing and the pencil he draws with.
And he writes his first words.
And he reads them and says them.
Just two words to begin with.
And his vision clouds over, as if he were looking out at the beach and his parents, coming in at a run, still screaming thunder and lightning at each other, covering their heads with towels to keep from getting wet, as if he were watching them through a window and outside rain is falling.
Now it rains or, maybe, he weeps.
And he hears applause.
The clap-clap-clap of the passengers applauding when the plane finds the airport runway. He always hated that applause of those imbecilic travelers who, relieved or regal, believed themselves authorized to celebrate the pilot, as if he’d done something special, as if he were a gladiator who fought the elements and, for that reason, they awarded him not with a thumbs up but by clapping their hands together. The same as that other clapping—the clapping you hear across the sand and under the sky and beside the sea when a child is lost on a beach. The parents of the other children, of the children who haven’t yet been lost, applauding; as if they were celebrating the talent of the parents of the lost little one for having, at last, gotten rid of that once-wanted unwanted thing. But now he doesn’t want to miss anything. Now he wants to recover everything. To go home. Bringing it all back home. To become the monolith of himself. To want to be there to find himself. He doesn’t need to be applauded for that wish, for that decision. But that clapping—is it possible they’re applauding him—sounds in his ears now like the flap-flap-flap of angel wings beating the sky; like the plop-plop-plop of Bubble Wrap bubbles joyfully bursting; like the swift-swift-swift of little wheels on which everything suddenly rolls, at last, so sure and soft, in a fixed direction and with a clear destination that sounds like a clackety-clack with all the letters, all the letters on the keyboard.
Landed, pure particle and accelerated energy, his and only his, after so much time floating and sinking, he never felt so high at the level, not of the sea, but of the place where the sea and the river mouth meet. Or yes, he has. But so long ago (the parentheses are the past) that it’s like he’s feeling it for the first time, maybe for the last time—but better not to think of that.
He’s come home—the odyssey continues—so he can leave again.
“Tomorrow I begin,” he promises.
“This is how it ends,” he says.
NONFICTION
A Thank-You Note
Don’t get nervous, don’t get annoyed—nothing to explain this time. The book, I hope, is its own explanation (“A book that . . .”) and there’s nothing more to add except—ah, yes—that one thing, all together now:
Any similarities to reality in what is described or in descriptions of individuals or in individual descriptions in this book (hence its title, its title is not a coincidence) are purely coincidental.
But as always—go ahead and get nervous or irritated, those of you who are made uncomfortable by gratitude—there are many and much to thank/be thankful for, on this side or the other, for help direct or indirect, and always for the good company:
Ana and Carlos Alberi; London Fields by Martin Amis; Paul Thomas Anderson; Wes Anderson; In Other Worlds: SF and the Human Imagination by Margaret Atwood; Goldberg Variations by Johann Sebastian Bach (versions by Glenn Gould from 1981 and Jonathan Crow, Matt Haimovitz, and Douglas McNabney from 2008); Agencia Carmen Balcells; John Banville; They called for more structure . . . by Donald Barthelme; Antonin Baudry; The Beatles; Eduardo Becerra; Saul Bellow; Pigs Might Fly: The Inside Story of Pink Floyd by Mark Blake; Juan Ignacio Boido; Roberto Bolaño; “Space Oddity” and “Ashes to Ashes” by David Bowie; Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury; The Seven Basic Plots: Why We Tell Stories by Christopher Booker; Pursued By Furies: A Life of Malcolm Lowry by Gordon Bowker; On the Origin of Stories: Evolution, Cognition, and Fiction by Brian Boyd; Miguel Brascó; Harold Brodkey; Emily Brontë & Co.; The Notebooks of F. Scott Fitzgerald, edited by Matthew J. Bruccoli; Reader’s Companion to F. Scott Fitzgerald’s “Tender Is the Night,” by Matthew J. Bruccoli with Judith S. Baughman; The Romantic Egoists: A Pictorial Autobiography from the Scrapbooks and Albums of F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda Fitzgerald, edited by Matthew J. Bruccoli, Scottie Fitzgerald, and Joan P. Kerr; Mid Air by Paul Buchanan; David Byrne; Comí by Martín Caparrós; Mónica Carmona; The Professor and Other Writings by Terry Castle; The Professor’s House by Willa Cather; The Piper at the Gates of Dawn by John Cavanagh; John Cheever; Arthur C. Clark; The Shakespeare Riots: Revenge, Drama, and Death in Nineteenth-Century America by Nigel Cliff; the Coen Bros.; “Are You Ready to Be Heartbroken?,” by Lloyd Cole; Apocalypse Now by Francis Ford Coppola; Jordi Costa; Wise Up Ghost and Other Songs by Elvis Costello and The Roots; La mujer que escribió Frankenstein by Esther Cross; Eva Cuenca; Charles Dickens; Joan Didion; The Garden Next Door by José Donoso; Doctor Manhattan (Dr. Jonathan “Jon” Osterman); Bob Dylan; Here, There and Everywhere / My Life Recording the Music of The Beatles by Geoff Emerick; Ray Davies and The Kinks; Marta Díaz; Ignacio Echevarría; William Faulkner (almost); Charlie Feiling; Federico Fellini; Marcelo Figueras; Tender Is the Night by Francis Scott Fitzgerald (and prefaces to this novel by Geoff Dyer, Richard Godden, and Charles Scribner III); Save Me the Waltz and Collected Writings by Zelda Fitzgerald; Juan Fresán; Nelly Fresán; William Gaddis; La bala perdida: William S. Burroughs en México (1949-1952) by Jorge García Robles; Alfredo Garófano and Marta Esteve; Daniel Gil; & Sons by David Gilbert; Beloved Infidel (& Co.) by Sheilah Graham; Leila Guerriero; Isabelle Gugnon; “Love Too Long,” by Barry Hannah; Al
l the Madmen: A Journey to the Dark Side of British Rock by Clinton Heylin; Encyclopedia of Science Fiction, edited by Robert Holdstock; Homero; Aldous Huxley; John Irving; Henry James; Andreu Jaume; 2001: A Space Odyssey by Stanley Kubrick; La Central (Marta Ramoneda & Antonio Ramírez & Neus Botellé & Co.); The Salinger Contract by Adam Langer; Literatura Random House (everyone there, you know who you are); Crazy Sundays: F. Scott Fitzgerald in Hollywood by Aaron Latham; Martin Eden by Jack London; Claudio López Lamadrid; David Lynch; I Trawl the MEGAHERTZ by Paddy McAloon; “Socrates on the Beach,” by Joseph McElroy; Terrence Malick; Inside Out: A Personal History of Pink Floyd by Nick Mason; Norma Elizabeth Mastrorilli; Invented Lives: F. Scott Fitzgerald & Zelda Fitzgerald by James R. Mellow; Luna Miguel; Zelda by Nancy Milford; Mauricio Montiel Figueiras (Festival de México); The Lady and Her Monsters: A Tale of Dissections, Real-Life Frankensteins, and the Creation of Mary Shelley’s Masterpiece by Roseanne Montillo; Rick Moody; Literary Outlaw: The Life and times of William S. Burroughs by Ted Morgan; Morrisey; Annie Morvan; The Cinema of Malcolm Lowry / A Scholary Edition of Lowry’s “Tender Is the Night,” edited and with an introduction by Miguel Mota and Paul Tiessen; Sarah & Gerald / Villa America and After by Honoria Murphy Donnelly with Richard N. Billings; Look at the Harlequins! by Vladimir Nabokov; Bill Murray; Harry Nilsson; Mark Noward (Rose O’Neill Literary House at Washington College); How We Die: Reflections on Life’s Final Chapter by Sherwin B. Nuland; El eternauta by Héctor Germán Oesterheld and Francisco Solano Lopez; Open Letter Books (Chad Post & Will Vanderhyden); Letters from the Lost Generation: Gerald and Sara Murphy and Friends, edited by Linda Patterson Miller; Alan Pauls; Edmundo Paz-Soldán; Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd; Truman Capote: In Which Various Friends, Enemies, Acquaintances, and Detractors Recall His Turbulent Career by George Plimpton; Francisco “Paco” Purrúa; “Algunas palabras sobre el ciclo vital de las ranas,” by Patricio Pron; Marcel Proust; Matteo Ricci; Homo Rodríguez and family; The Counterlife by Philip Roth; Making It Big: The Art and Style of Sara & Gerald Murphy, edited by Deborah Rothschild with an introductory essay by Calvin Tomkins; Gabriel Ruiz Ortega; Salmon Rushdie (PEN American Center); Guillermo Saccomanno; Sebastián Sancho; Rod Sterling; Frankenstein or The Modern Prometheus by Mary Shelly; Maarten Steenmeijer (Radboud University, Nijmegen); Dracula by Bram Stoker; Daniel Suárez; Remando al viento by Gonzalo Suárez; The Invisible College; Mind Over Matter: The Images of Pink Floyd by Strom Thorgerson and Peter Curzon; Living Well Is the Best Revenge by Calvin Tomkins; Showman: The Life of David O. Selznick by David Thomson; John Updike; Everybody Was So Young / Gerald and Sara Murphy: A Lost Generation Love Story by Amanda Vaill; Enrique Vila-Matas; Juan Villoro; Villaseñor family; Kurt Vonnegut; David Foster Wallace; Yes Is The Answer and Other Prog-Rock Tales, edited by Marc Weingarten and Tyson Cornell . . . . . . and the near-and-dear strangers who now hold these pages in their hands . . .
. . . and after everything and everyone, but before anything and anyone, thank you to Daniel Fresán (for having chosen the object and the image for the cover that opened the whole book); and thank you to Ana Isabel Villaseñor (for having chosen the person who now closes the book and says goodbye until the next one, until next time, until another part yet to be invented).
R. F.
Barcelona, December 7th, 2013
Rodrigo Fresán is the author of nine novels, including Kensington Gardens, Mantra, and The Bottom of the Sky. His works incorporate many elements from science-fiction (Philip K. Dick in particular) alongside pop culture and literary references.
Will Vanderhyden received an MA in Literary Translation from the University of Rochester. He has translated fiction by Carlos Labbé, Edgardo Cozarinsky, Alfredo Bryce Echenique, Juan Marsé, Rafael Sánchez Ferlosio, Rodrigo Fresán, and Elvio Gandolfo.
Inga Ābele (Latvia)
High Tide
Naja Marie Aidt (Denmark)
Rock, Paper, Scissors
Esther Allen et al. (ed.) (World)
The Man Between: Michael Henry Heim & a Life in Translation
Bae Suah (South Korea)
A Greater Music
Svetislav Basara (Serbia)
The Cyclist Conspiracy
Can Xue (China)
Frontier
Vertical Motion
Lúcio Cardoso (Brazil)
Chronicle of the Murdered House
Sergio Chejfec (Argentina)
The Dark
My Two Worlds
The Planets
Eduardo Chirinos (Peru)
The Smoke of Distant Fires
Marguerite Duras (France)
Abahn Sabana David
L’Amour
The Sailor from Gibraltar
Mathias Énard (France)
Street of Thieves
Zone
Macedonio Fernández (Argentina)
The Museum of Eterna’s Novel
Rubem Fonseca (Brazil)
The Taker & Other Stories
Juan Gelman (Argentina)
Dark Times Filled with Light
Georgi Gospodinov (Bulgaria)
The Physics of Sorrow
Arnon Grunberg (Netherlands)
Tirza
Hubert Haddad (France)
Rochester Knockings: A Novel of the Fox Sisters
Gail Hareven (Israel)
Lies, First Person
Angel Igov (Bulgaria)
A Short Tale of Shame
Ilya Ilf & Evgeny Petrov (Russia)
The Golden Calf
Zachary Karabashliev (Bulgaria)
18% Gray
Jan Kjærstad (Norway)
The Conqueror
The Discoverer
Josefine Klougart (Denmark)
One of Us Is Sleeping
Carlos Labbé (Chile)
Loquela
Navidad & Matanza
Jakov Lind (Austria)
Ergo
Landscape in Concrete
Andreas Maier (Germany)
Klausen
Lucio Mariani (Italy)
Traces of Time
Amanda Michalopoulou (Greece)
Why I Killed My Best Friend
Valerie Miles (World)
A Thousand Forests in One Acorn: An Anthology of Spanish-Language Fiction
Iben Mondrup (Denmark)
Justine
Quim Monzó (Catalonia)
Gasoline
Guadalajara
A Thousand Morons
Elsa Morante (Italy)
Aracoeli
Giulio Mozzi (Italy)
This Is the Garden
Andrés Neuman (Spain)
The Things We Don’t Do
Henrik Nordbrandt (Denmark)
When We Leave Each Other
Bragi Ólafsson (Iceland)
The Ambassador
The Pets
Kristín Ómarsdóttir (Iceland)
Children in Reindeer Woods
Diego Trelles Paz (ed.) (World)
The Future Is Not Ours
Ilja Leonard Pfeijffer (Netherlands)
Rupert: A Confession
Jerzy Pilch (Poland)
The Mighty Angel
My First Suicide
A Thousand Peaceful Cities
Rein Raud (Estonia)
The Brother
Mercè Rodoreda (Catalonia)
Death in Spring
The Selected Stories of Mercè Rodoreda
War, So Much War
Milen Ruskov (Bulgaria)
Thrown into Nature
Guillermo Saccomanno (Argentina)
Gesell Dome
Juan José Saer (Argentina)
The Clouds
La Grande
The One Before
Scars
The Sixty-Five Years of Washington
Olga Sedakova (Russia)
In Praise of Poetry
Mikhail Shishkin (Russia)
Maidenhair
Sölvi Björn Sigurðsson (Iceland)
The
Last Days of My Mother
Andrzej Sosnowski (Poland)
Lodgings
Albena Stambolova (Bulgaria)
Everything Happens as It Does
Benjamin Stein (Germany)
The Canvas
Georgi Tenev (Bulgaria)
Party Headquarters
Dubravka Ugresic (Europe)
Europe in Sepia
Karaoke Culture
Nobody’s Home
Ludvík Vaculík (Czech Republic)
The Guinea Pigs
Jorge Volpi (Mexico)
Season of Ash
Antoine Volodine (France)
Bardo or Not Bardo
Post-Exoticism in Ten Lessons, Lesson Eleven
Radiant Terminus
Eliot Weinberger (ed.) (World)
Elsewhere
Ingrid Winterbach (South Africa)
The Book of Happenstance
The Elusive Moth
To Hell with Cronjé
Ror Wolf (Germany)
Two or Three Years Later
Words Without Borders (ed.) (World)
The Wall in My Head
Alejandro Zambra (Chile)
The Private Lives of Trees
The Invented Part Page 55