They pulled apart—Tiffany on one side of Mackenzie, Molly on the other, each holding onto their piece of her.
“Mac, how is she?” Molly asked softly.
“She’s gone, Molly. She’s gone.” More tears flowed from Mackenzie as she gulped at the air, swallowing as she tried to speak. “They want to know if I want to donate her organs.” The soul-shattering cries returned.
Tiffany and Molly moved in unison. Together they cradled Mackenzie as she collapsed into a heap, a tall blonde rag doll leaning on them for support. They didn’t need to know the details. Those would come later. This was about them riding this wave of grief with their friend and helping her survive the storm.
Mackenzie had no one but them—no parents to make the call as to whether or not to donate the precious organs. She was on her own to make this decision. Even they couldn’t truly advise her.
Her sister was younger and unmarried, no children. She had just been a kid, really. She’d just graduated college the spring before. Now she was gone. Her short life had been snuffed out far too soon. If they’d ever needed a reminder of how quickly life could be changed, planned paths altered in an instant, they had just been given one. The three of them stood there—out in the open, clinging to one another—all weeping loudly and not caring who heard them. They were surfing in the tidal wave of loss, an undertow of pain and an unfair ocean trying to drown one of them, but they were stronger when they were together. Molly was thankful that at least one of her prayers had been heard.
* * * *
Hospital coffee sucked, even in Seattle’s hospitals. Molly was trying to doctor a cup that would be suitable enough for Mackenzie to drink, not that Mackenzie would probably even touch it. She was in a state of shock, something neither Tiffany nor Molly had ever seen before.
They had been there for a few hours. Molly assumed that the glorious sunshine from earlier was now gone. The day had started out so beautiful and full of promise. And in the blink of an eye, a sister had lost her only sister, turning this day into a horrible nightmare. Life was a constant balancing act. One moment everything could be rainbows and butterflies, the next unexplained, gutting tragedy. The universe was funny like that, always making sure to remind you not to get too comfortable. Without darkness, you would never know light, and without pain, you would never know joy, but, God, why did it have to hurt so much to learn these lessons?
Mackenzie stayed with her sister for a while. The hospital staff was caring but urging her to make the donation soon, as there was limited time in order to harvest the organs.
Tiffany and Molly had waited in a small private room that usually held families awaiting terrible news or having to make the most difficult decisions of their lives. It was decorated in muted and quiet colors, which didn’t seem to soothe at all. Molly had checked on Mackenzie at one point, and it was the most heart-wrenching thing she’d ever witnessed. Mackenzie had climbed into the hospital bed with her sister, a younger and shorter version of her. Her sister’s blonde hair was stained and crusty with red. Her eyes were closed, and she looked like she was only sleeping. An array of wires was coming out every which way. They were all hooked up to machines, but there were no beeping sounds, no monitors indicating numbers that no one really understood. It had been eerily silent, except the sound of air being pushed into her body, feeding oxygen to her organs.
It had been too much to take. Molly had retreated back to the waiting room, loving Mackenzie even that much more for her strength and bravery. Molly and Tiffany had sat, holding hands and waiting as Mackenzie gave the permission then said goodbye before she joined them.
Shaking away the images that would forever be imprinted on her brain and heart, Molly finished stirring in a little more powdered creamer. She brought the swill to Mackenzie, who reached out to accept the white Styrofoam cup, but she only held it. They were all quiet as they tried to navigate this new-found grief. Tiffany rubbed Mackenzie’s shoulders and she looked up at Molly. They didn’t know what else to do or say. They could only give so much comfort, but there was no way they could ever take away the sting of what she was experiencing. And it killed Molly.
They all knew what was happening at that very moment. Each time a nurse walked by and offered them a sympathetic, tight-lipped smile, they were reminded that it was being done. They also knew this was just the beginning of what was going to be a very hard road for Mackenzie—that the reality hadn’t quite sunk in yet, and when it did, it was going to be brutal.
“We probably should go home now, Mac,” Molly whispered, with Mackenzie leaning on her shoulder.
“Yeah, Molly’s right. How about we go home with you?” Tiffany offered as she ran her hand up and down Mackenzie’s arm.
They remained huddled there together. No one made the move to disband. Molly was more than ready to leave the room with the muted colors and felt that it was time to take Mackenzie away. They would help her make arrangements, but right now Mackenzie needed to go home and rest. This had taken its toll on her.
“Come on,” Molly said, peeling Mackenzie off her, her friend’s blonde hair flat against the sides of her face, damp from all the tears she’d shed.
Mackenzie nodded but remained in her seat, even after Molly and Tiffany rose. They looked over at each other. They’d never seen Mackenzie like this. She was the strong one, the mother hen and the one that led their pack. Now they had to step up and take care of her.
Molly and Tiffany each took hold of one of Mackenzie’s arms and tugged her out of the chair.
“I don’t want to leave her,” Mackenzie cried. “She’s my baby sister, you guys.”
“Mackenzie, she’s gone, love,” Tiffany said while Mackenzie buried her face in her hands, muffling the cries.
“She’ll always be with you.” Molly tried to reassure her.
“Molly, you have no idea how hard this is. Your brother is alive. Your parents are still alive. I have no one. They are all gone, so no, they aren’t with me. They are all gone,” Mackenzie said angrily, shocking Molly with the vile sound of her voice.
“She was just trying to help, Mackenzie,” Tiffany explained.
“I appreciate you both being here, but, Tiffany, please, just don’t start in on me right now.” Mackenzie covered her face once more.
It was simply heart-wrenching to watch her friend be tortured by this grief. Molly shouldn’t take anything personally. As difficult as it would be, Molly knew there would be more tongue lashings ahead because Mackenzie was hurting so badly. No, she couldn’t relate. The only thing she could offer was to be there for her friend.
They were finally able to get Mackenzie out of the hospital. It wasn’t easy, but they managed to get her inside Molly’s car. Tiffany drove Mackenzie’s small sedan, and they made the trek to Mackenzie’s home.
The car ride was quiet. Molly was scared to utter a single word. She turned the radio on low and let music fill the void where conversation should be. When they arrived, Mackenzie ordered them to leave, but they fought her on that, refusing to budge. They knew it was important to be there, just in case she needed anything. Mackenzie was not happy about it at all and ended up stomping away to her bedroom, slamming the door hard and causing Molly to jump.
“What do we do?” Tiffany asked as she plopped down on one of Mackenzie’s couches.
Molly joined her and sighed. She didn’t have the answers. That was Mackenzie’s department. “I’m not sure. Just be here for her, I guess.”
“Gosh, but she doesn’t even want us here, Moll.”
“I know, but we can’t even begin to imagine how she feels. We can’t take it personally.”
“God, how screwed up is this? I mean, why do things like this happen?” Tiffany started to pick at imaginary lint on her pants. “It’s unfair.”
“Hard to say, but it sucks.”
Tiffany shook her head and said, “Let’s talk about something else. I can’t even deal with any more negative stuff or my brain will explode.”
&nbs
p; “I hear ya. Today has been such a weird frigging day. Everything was so wonderful earlier, then I got the call from Mackenzie. It’s crazy how quickly things can change in an instant.” Molly snapped her fingers.
Tiffany agreed and changed the subject. “Tell me what’s up with you and Owen.”
Molly couldn’t help but smile. “Well, I took your advice and Mackenzie’s. I tried calling him. He didn’t answer.”
“Oh no, but I have a feeling it all worked out somehow.” Tiffany cocked her head to the side, grinning at Molly.
“I went to him. I figured…what did I have to lose, really? You know?”
“Good for you. And?”
“It went well. We went bowling, of all things.”
“I’m glad that you did that. I’m proud of you. Lil’ go-getter, you. But bowling? Seriously?”
Molly swatted her and rolled her eyes. “I’m sort of proud of myself, too. You know I’m awful at relationships. I just hope I don’t screw this up.” Molly bit her bottom lip as she spoke.
“You won’t. I don’t think Owen will let you.”
“Probably not. That poor guy seems to handle my bat-shit craziness with a little too much ease.”
“Yeah, bless his heart.”
Tiffany and Molly both laughed, which felt wonderful, and it reminded Molly that life did carry on.
* * * *
The next few days had been rough. Molly was sitting in Mackenzie’s bed. Chocolate wrappers and balled-up tissues were scattered around them. She was trying everything to cheer Mackenzie up. Molly had decided to stay with her. Tiffany had to get back to work, but she always stopped by afterward, usually bringing dinner with her. Molly had spent the last half an hour trying to convince Mackenzie to go shower. She had spent most of the day curled up in a ball, begging Molly to let her sleep. But at least things were getting a little better every day, though. Today they’d watched a movie, eaten chocolate and cried. Yesterday, they had watched a movie and cried. The day before, they’d just cried.
“Mackenzie, you look like hell. You will feel so much better if you shower.”
Opening another chocolate, Mackenzie acted as if she hadn’t heard her. Molly huffed and hopped off the king-size bed that was far too large for the bedroom. She started to gather the tissues and wrappers.
They’d already barely survived a visit to the mortuary, and Molly had been walking on eggshells ever since. Enough was enough. It was time to get a handle on things. Like pulling off a bandage, she needed to do it quickly.
“Come on, girl. You gotta snap out of this,” Molly said firmly. “It’s time to get yourself together.”
“I know.”
“Then go shower,” Molly ordered, grabbing more tissues and throwing them away in a little waste basket that was tucked beside one of the nightstands.
“Ugh, do I have to?”
“Um, yeah. You’re sort of gross.” Molly pinched her nose closed to prove her point.
Mackenzie sniffed herself and ran her fingers through her tangled mess of blonde hair. “I suppose you’re right.”
Well, damn. Molly surely hadn’t expected that. That was progress.
“Maybe we can go for a walk later?” Molly suggested.
“Don’t push it.” Mackenzie moved slowly off the bed.
“Just saying that a little sunshine might do us both some good.”
“Baby steps, Molly.”
“Oh please, don’t give me that crud.”
Mackenzie rolled her eyes and said, “You don’t have to keep sticking around here. I know you have stuff to do.”
“That’s the beauty of my job. I can schedule it whenever I want. It’s awesome being the boss.”
“But I’m sure you had clients lined up, boss lady,” Mackenzie argued.
“That’s none of your concern.” Molly shook a finger at her playfully.
“Fine. What about Owen?”
“What about Owen?” Molly rolled her eyes.
Mackenzie’s voice softened. “You should go out with him. He’s probably dying from not seeing you. You don’t need to be locked up in here with me. I’ll be okay. I promise.”
“Well, I’m glad that you think that, but I’m not going anywhere yet. Just let me be here with you, okay?”
Mackenzie smiled and said quietly, “I will be okay, Molly. I appreciate you looking after me, but I think I can manage now.”
“Um, this coming from the lady who has refused to shower for a couple of days. Yeah, you’re managing just fine.”
Mackenzie laughed. “Okay, you have a point there. But I’m headed to the shower now. That should count for something.”
Molly raised her eyebrows at Mackenzie. “Yeah, now that you finally caught a whiff of yourself.”
“You are so mean, but, God, I love ya,” Mackenzie said as she stomped off to the bathroom.
“Love ya too, stinky.” Molly started pulling the linens off the bed. The pale floral pattern on the sheets matched the comforter. The design reflected Mackenzie perfectly. It was classic, ultra-feminine and beautiful.
After hauling the bundle of dirty bedding into the laundry room, Molly poured the detergent into the washing machine. Its clean scent was pleasant and hung in the air for a moment. Maybe Mackenzie was right. Perhaps it was time just to let her be for a while. Mackenzie was made of some strong stuff, and if anyone of the three of them could survive something as terrible as this, it was Mackenzie. Molly was torn. Part of her was anxious to get back to her studio, yet she was glad she’d spent this time with Mackenzie. They hadn’t laughed or had fun, of course, but just being with her in this tough time—being there for her—had been enough.
But before she would abandon her buddy, Molly decided to make some grilled cheese sandwiches. Carbs seemed like an appropriate send-off.
* * * *
The city lights were twinkling off the water. Seattle could be so gorgeous and full of romance. Owen held Molly’s hand in his as they strolled along the waterfront after dinner.
“How’s Mackenzie holding up?” Owen asked cautiously. They had danced around the elephant in the room all evening. She’d been expecting him to ask all night, but she knew he’d also wanted to do everything to keep her mind off the sad subject.
“She’s a tough chick. I have to hand it to her. I don’t think I could cope as well as she is,” Molly answered as Owen led them to a bench with a remarkable view of the harbor as the sun lowered into horizon. Smaller boats bobbed silently in the water. There were hardly any tourists walking about, and it was peaceful being in Owen’s company.
“So what’s next, a funeral or service of some kind?”
Molly was slow to answer. “Actually, I think her sister’s ashes will be ready tomorrow.” She wasn’t really prepared for how that was going to go, but they would be there for Mackenzie.
“Just a thought—it’s not my place or anything—but if Mackenzie wants to scatter her sister’s ashes out in the ocean, I’m happy to help.”
“That’s sweet of you and a wonderful offer. We haven’t discussed anything yet. It’s been a lot of crying and just trying to hold it all together, you know?”
“I can imagine. You know, when I lost my uncle, it tore me up. It’s hard to lose family. I was incredibly close to him. He was the one that got me into fishing.” Owen’s voice went quiet and Molly reached for his hand.
“I’m so sorry, Owen,” Molly whispered.
“It was a couple of years ago. He had a stroke and it was quick. We weren’t prepared for it, but we got through it.” Owen’s eyes grew shiny with held-back tears.
“To be honest, I haven’t lost anyone since my grandmother passed away when I was a kid. I dread the day when one of my parents dies.” Molly could feel her heart slice with fear and sadness. Owen wrapped his arms around her and sheltered her.
“Well, it happens, but life carries on.” Owen smiled at her and kissed her gingerly on her forehead. “My uncle would’ve liked you a lot.”
“Reall
y? Why?” Molly asked as she smiled up at him.
“Because I like you a lot.” He lowered his lips to hers. The velvety softness and warmth of his kiss sent tingles through her. After pulling back, he looked at her with those gray eyes, the lights of the city reflecting in them. “You need to meet my parents someday.”
Molly swallowed, her insecurities invading her brain. “What if they don’t like me?”
“Don’t look so worried. They’ll love you.”
“Owen, we’ve hardly been seeing each other. Isn’t it a little soon?”
Pulling her close to him, securing her to his chest, Owen said, “The way I see it, when you know, you know. And, babe, trust me. I know.” He planted another kiss on Molly, this time on her nose.
* * * *
Mackenzie had called them both to meet her at the funeral home to pick up her sister’s ashes. It had only been a few days since Molly had quit staying over. Mackenzie was coping, but just barely. That much was obvious to both Tiffany and Molly. She had dark shadows around her eyes, a rumpled and messy look to her outfit and she even seemed thinner.
Molly knew that today was going to be awful and she had been dreading it all morning. Standing next to her as Mackenzie received the cremains from the mortuary receptionist made it final somehow. Seeing Mackenzie hold that small wooden box containing all that was left of her sister broke Molly’s heart into a million and one pieces. Molly blinked away the tears she’d been desperately holding back. She looked over at Tiffany, who was carefully wiping away her own. Mackenzie wasn’t crying at all. Her expression was soft, and she looked to Molly and said, “Can she come with me to Friendship Friday?”
Molly had not expected that to come out of Mackenzie’s mouth. It was almost Friday and she wasn’t certain that they would be hanging out, considering everything. It wasn’t as though this was some sort of Weekend at Bernie’s type of thing. They were dealing with ashes, so the request wasn’t all that strange. A little morbid maybe, but after all was said and done, did it really matter? As long as it made Mackenzie happy, Molly would do anything to help.
Reeling in Love Page 9