Audrey had called her a few minutes ago to say she was just leaving the office and apologized for being late. The call touched Marielle. She added cooking wine and clam juice, covered the pan, and turned on the broiler before running to her bedroom for a last-minute checkup. Not knowing if Audrey was coming to dinner dressed as business-suit Audrey or yoga-pants Audrey, Marielle had chosen a happy medium with her best jeans and a black, fitted, button-down shirt. She’d bought the shirt because it was slimming, and she felt confident enough wearing it to open one more button than usual, showing cleavage. She fluffed her dark mass of hair with her fingers and applied gloss to her lips. She smiled at herself in the mirror above her dresser, not remembering the last time she was this close to being satisfied with her reflection. Again she refused to analyze further. Not tonight.
“Mom, Audrey’s here!”
“Thank you, Felix.” She rushed out of her bedroom to welcome Audrey, briefly glancing at her son sprawled on the floor in front of the television with Ralph by his side. “Bed in thirty minutes, young man.” He didn’t take his gaze off the screen but mumbled an understanding “mhm.” She opened the front door and was immediately pleased with her choice of outfit. Audrey hadn’t changed out of a navy blue business suit with a pale blue shirt that matched her eyes perfectly. She smiled at Marielle and handed her the bottle of wine as she entered the house, where she immediately took off her heels, revealing bare fee with navy blue painted toenails.“Hi. Sorry, I hate these things,” she said, pointing at her shoes.
“I hear you,” Marielle offered. “Make yourself comfortable. It’s Friday!”
“Thank freaking God!”
They chuckled, and Audrey took off her suit jacket and set it on the back of a chair before opening one button of her shirt and rolling up the sleeves to the middle of her forearms. Marielle was shocked when the word that came to her mind to describe the scene was sexy. This time she couldn’t help but question her thoughts. Why the hell did she think Audrey in a business suit was one of the most beautiful things she’d ever seen, second only to Audrey walking barefoot and making herself comfortable in her house?
Then Audrey turned to her, and all thoughts left her brain when the soft blue eyes smiled their appreciation. “You look great,” Audrey said in a voice just as soft. Marielle could swear when Audrey ripped her eyes away from her, she did so unwillingly. “And it smells wonderful in here. What are you making?”
“Thank you. Salmon steak. I read it’s good with chardonnay. Do you mind serving the wine? It’ll be ready in just a few minutes.” She gave Audrey two wineglasses and proceeded to place the salmon she’d previously seasoned with salt and pepper under the broiler. She checked on the sauce and started on the salad. “How was your day?”
“Great. We’re making progress. Sam is doing amazing, but I think they’re all going to be good. They all have their own strengths,” Audrey answered as she poured white wine in both glasses and offered one to Marielle. “You?”
“Thanks. My day was okay. A little tough for me.” She’d never shared work stories with anyone outside of the hospital before. She was always afraid telling them would make people uncomfortable or sad.
Audrey looked at Marielle as she took a sip of wine. “Tough? I’m sorry to hear that. How so?”
“A little girl about Felix’s age came in. She’d stopped breathing after having really bad convulsions. Her parents were panicked. They thought it was just the flu since a few of her friends at school had it. I’m usually pretty good at putting a distance between me and my patients, but when it’s a child that young, I can’t help thinking about Felix and putting myself in those parents’ shoes. It’s terrifying.”
Her eyes filled with tears as she tossed the salad, and she was quickly soothed by Audrey’s warm hand moving in circles on her back. “Of course it is. How is the little girl now?”
“We were able to get her fever down and gave her antibiotics intravenously. The doctor thought it might be meningitis. We did blood work and a lumbar puncture. Everything came back negative. We are keeping her a little while longer, but it looks like it was just the flu after all. A very high and sudden fever caused the convulsions.” Marielle turned to smile at Audrey then, grateful she was listening. She hadn’t even realized how much the episode had shaken her, and talking about it made her feel much better.
“No wonder it was tough, Marielle.” Marielle felt just slightly more pressure from Audrey’s hand on her back and let herself fall into the embrace. She held on to Audrey’s shoulders and buried her face in her neck, letting Audrey rub her back to comfort her. “I’m glad the little girl’s better,” Audrey whispered into her ear.
“Me too,” she answered while tearing herself out of Audrey’s arms. “Take our glasses to the table, will you? I’ll be right there with our plates.”
“Sure.” Audrey took both glasses and the bottle and left Marielle alone at the counter. Marielle immediately missed her warmth yet at the same time was relieved she could breathe again. She took the salmon out of the oven and plated their dinner, proud of the results. When she approached with both plates, Audrey was rubbing her own neck.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. The office chair they gave me at work just really sucks. Wow, look at that.” Audrey’s eyes lit up as Marielle set the colorful plate of food in front of her.
They enjoyed their meal together and shared a few more work stories. Marielle marveled at how natural it was for them to sit like this, savoring good food, conversation and company. As she finished her dinner, she realized it was past Felix’s bedtime. With just a simple nod, Audrey took their plates to the kitchen and started working on the dishes while Marielle prepared him for bed.
It was as if they’d been doing this for years. Marielle was puzzled yet pleased with the easy complicity. Soon Felix was in bed wearing warm pajamas, and Ralph was curled up at his feet. Both were asleep before Marielle could read three pages of the story.
When she came back to the kitchen, the dishes were done. Their wineglasses were refilled, and Audrey was quietly sitting at the table, rubbing her sore neck. Marielle joined her and drank the wine, observing the empty bottle between them. “Your brother has great taste in wine. We can’t seem to open a bottle without finishing it.”
Audrey chuckled. “That’s just three glasses each. It was worse than that when I drank alone. See, you’re saving me from being a pathetic drunk.”
Marielle laughed, leaning her chin on her hand while her elbow rested on the table, observing her companion. She loved to see the glossiness in Audrey’s eyes when she drank wine. Her eyelids seemed heavy, covering some of the sparkling blue. Her own eyes felt heavy as well, and she barely recognized her own voice when it came out of her mouth. “Have you always been so close to Dennis?”
“Yes, always. He’s my one and only brother. My baby brother.”
Audrey’s voice was just as low as her own, and if Marielle focused, she thought she could feel it vibrate through her body rather than just her ears. “What about your parents?”
“Not so much. We were close at one point, but since I came out, things have been awkward.”
Without thinking, Marielle let her hand fall on top of Audrey’s on the table to comfort her. “How old were you?”
“Eighteen.” Audrey took her hand away from Marielle’s and resumed rubbing her own neck.
“What happened? Did they throw you out?”
“No, no. Nothing like that. I moved out, but it was my choice. They said they accepted me; it just never seemed like they did. We never talked about it. Over the years they never asked me about my love life while they invited any of my brother’s conquests to dinner, hoping she was the one. It was just like I was…I don’t know…tolerated. As long as I didn’t flaunt it.”
“I see. I can’t imagine. But your brother isn’t like that, right?”
Audrey chuckled. “No, Dennis is wonderful. He just wants me to be happy.” She grimaced as she rubbed
a spot on her neck that seemed to be particularly sensitive, and Marielle was suddenly compelled to make her feel better.
“Let me.” She stood up and walked behind Audrey, then carefully pulled the collar of the blue shirt down and moved Audrey’s blond hair over one shoulder to expose the sore neck. She warmed her hands by rubbing them together and started to massage the stiff muscles. Audrey tensed up for a moment before letting her head fall forward with a sigh.
As she moved her hands over Audrey’s skin, Marielle could feel every single nerve ending in her fingertips. Her hands had never been so sensitive, making every touch a source of pleasure she couldn’t remember experiencing before. As she felt every muscle in Audrey’s neck and the delicate smoothness of her skin, her own breathing became irregular just from touching this woman. A woman. She worked on Audrey’s neck for a while longer before sliding her hands under the collar to massage the strong shoulders. When a bra strap got caught on her finger and fell away, she didn’t put it back in place. Instead she purposefully slid the other strap down to gain easier access to Audrey’s skin.
Audrey moaned, and Marielle gasped as the sound went straight to the spot between her legs that had been lifeless for so long.
Audrey turned to look at her, and the look in her eyes paralyzed Marielle. Lust. There was no denying it from the way Audrey’s mouth was partly open, her cheeks flushed, and her pupils dilated. Marielle stood still, wondering if that was the reaction she wanted from the massage, unable to convince herself she was just trying to make her friend feel better, but knowing she wasn’t ready for that expression of desire on Audrey’s face.
Audrey probably understood, because she pulled her collar back up. “Thanks, I feel much better now.”
Marielle was finally able to move again and went back to her seat on the other side of the table. Most likely to put her at ease, Audrey started talking about the different stores she wanted to visit on their shopping trip to Montreal, and Marielle slowly relaxed. They finished their glasses of wine and talked about shopping for another half hour before Audrey stood up and announced she was going home. She thanked Marielle for the delicious dinner and wonderful evening, and they hugged at the door, but the embrace was brief and superficial. As soon as Audrey left, Marielle went to bed. She closed her eyes, and her hand was drawn to that spot between her legs that a simple moan from Audrey had sent throbbing. Thick, warm wetness coated her fingers, and she immediately removed her hand. What the hell had just happened? What was she going to do about it?
Chapter Five
The following Thursday, sitting in a Chinese restaurant for lunch with Véronique, Audrey couldn’t shut up the tiny voice in her head that suggested she was cheating on Marielle. Although they hadn’t touched since the neck-massage incident, they’d shared dinner every night, and a kind of intimacy had settled between them. They ate together, talked about their day over dinner, made plans, almost like a real family. Audrey would fix Felix a snack while Marielle brushed Ralph’s coat. They shared responsibilities. Both saw what needed to be done, and it didn’t matter if it was your son or my dog, or your kitchen or my bathroom. If it needed to be done, it was done. It was the kind of domestic bliss Audrey had never thought possible. With one very big, insurmountable difference. Instead of chatting a little more while cuddling in bed at night and perhaps even making love, each went back to her own house without so much as a kiss when it was time to go to sleep. It was worse than lesbian bed death because this lesbian bed had never been alive; it had never been a lesbian bed at all.
“So you want the chicken lo mein and I’ll have the General Tso so we can share?” Véronique’s question interrupted Audrey’s unhappy reverie.
“What? Oh yeah, yeah, that’s fine.” She smiled at Véronique, forcing her mind to focus on the beautiful woman sitting across the table, her long, straight, black hair floating on shoulders mostly bared by a sleeveless white blouse. She looked like summer. When she saw Véronique look past her as she waved her long fingers, Audrey turned around and saw Véronique was directing the wave at Sam and Marjorie, who had just entered the restaurant. She nodded hello, and Sam nodded back while Marjorie waved. When Sam and Marjorie followed the server to a table out of sight, Audrey turned back to Véronique, who was smirking.
“I think there’s something going on in your classes, Teacher. Love is in the air.”
“You think so?”
“Oh come on, haven’t you seen the goo-goo eyes they make at each other all day long?”
“Well I saw something. I just wasn’t sure.” Audrey immediately decided that if there was something between Sam and Marjorie, it wasn’t her place to tell Marielle. Besides, she still wasn’t sure. Véronique could be wrong.
“Oh I see, so you’re just terribly bad at spotting these kinds of signs in general, then? That’s a relief. I thought it was just my signs you didn’t notice.” Véronique sealed her statement with a seductive glance up through long eyelashes while sucking water through a straw.
Audrey felt the heat on her chest and her cheeks. She grinned at Véronique, more provocatively than she intended and bent forward over the table so her face would be closer to Véronique’s when she said softly, “Oh I noticed you.”
Véronique smiled ever so charmingly and bent forward in return to get even closer, her lips just inches from Audrey’s ear when she whispered, “Good, because there’s nothing I haven’t noticed about you.” Véronique sat back and let her eyes point to every spot she’d noticed, like laser beams. Audrey’s skin burned under the intense and hungry stare going from her fingertips up to her collarbone before spending long moments on her breasts. Audrey was almost panting when their food arrived. They ate in silence, Audrey trying to avoid the gaze that left her perplexed. On the one hand it was wonderful to feel desired. On the other hand it was almost too aggressive, especially as Audrey wasn’t certain she wanted Véronique that way. Definitely not that much.
“So what do you do to keep that body in shape?”
Audrey faced Véronique to answer her question and was relieved to find less intensity, just the mocking eyes she liked so much. “Nothing special. I hike with my dog, mostly.”
“Have you ever tried spinning?”
“Once when I lived in New York. My ex dragged me. Painful stuff.”
“It’s worth it, though. You feel so much better afterward. You should come with me sometime.”
“I don’t think so; thanks, though. It’s really not my cup of tea.”
“Okay, no problem. I’ll find something else.”
This time the seductive smile was Audrey’s when she said, “I’m sure you will.”
Véronique seemed encouraged. “What about a movie? This weekend?”
“Oh I can’t this weekend. I’m going on a road trip!” Audrey knew her excitement had to be showing on her face, and she made an effort to compose herself.
Véronique, however, didn’t try to hide her disappointment, and her pouting bottom lip was adorable. “A road trip? Alone?”
“No, with a friend.” Audrey took comfort in knowing she’d blushed so many times since the beginning of their lunch that Véronique wouldn’t recognize this specific blush as being entirely Marielle’s doing, caused by the simple thought of spending two days alone with her. Her friend.
“A friend. Okay, well, another time, then.”
“Sure.”
They finished their lunch and chatted until Audrey looked at her watch and realized they were going to be late. They paid for their respective meals, Audrey refusing to let Véronique pay for her, and went to the restroom. Audrey was washing her hands when she felt Véronique’s hands on her hips. She looked up and enjoyed the reflection of the taller woman behind her. She’d never dated a woman who was taller than she was. They stared at each other in the mirror until Audrey chose to surrender, closing her eyes and letting her head fall back on Véronique’s shoulder. She immediately felt warm lips on her neck and surprised herself by reaching up to grab a fis
tful of Véronique’s silky hair to bring them to her own. God, she smelled and tasted like summer too. The kiss was urgent, demanding, bruising. But brief. Breathing heavily, both women stopped kissing and looked at each other with silly grins on their faces.
“We better get back to work,” Audrey said.
“Yes, okay, let’s go.” Véronique started opening the door of the restroom but stopped halfway, forcing Audrey to look at her. “To be continued?”
“Absolutely.” Audrey quickly kissed Véronique’s lips again to reassure her, and they left the ladies’ room. As they walked by Sam and Marjorie’s table, Audrey thought she saw his hand resting on Marjorie’s on the tabletop, but she was walking too fast to be sure. She needed fresh air.
* * *
On Saturday morning, Sam had picked up Felix earlier than usual, and Audrey and Marielle had taken Audrey’s Subaru to drive Ralph to the groomer on their way out of town. Audrey had never tried their boarding services before, but she said she trusted them. Still, she’d been anxious when they left the little dog in a cage with his bed and toys. The love Audrey clearly had for her little fluffy companion always moved Marielle. It was so true and simple.
By nine a.m. they were on the road to Montreal and listening to music. Audrey was a fan of hip hop, which Marielle knew nothing about. Some of the lyrics by Drake, Jay-Z, and others that Audrey sang along with made Marielle blush, but she couldn’t help but move to the beat. As she studied Audrey’s profile, the straight line of her nose, the perfection of her skin, and the softness of her eyes despite the seriousness with which she focused on the road, she thought she could learn to appreciate hip hop.
They arrived at Quartier Dix30 around twelve thirty. With over two hundred stores, the open shopping mall rivaled some of the outlet malls Marielle had seen in the United States. Crowds tended to make her nervous, but she was having so much fun with Audrey she didn’t pay attention to the other people.
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