by Serena Rose
“That’s not what this is about.”
It was partially what it was about. He disliked feeling bad because he had taken something precious. He was still old-fashioned in a way. A woman’s virtue was something of value. But then again, she reminded him that it was her body and that it was her choice, and it was something he had to consider. Alright, so my lust got in the way, he thought. I should have thought about it more, rather than dive into action. He had been sober through and through, as she had been. What more could he have wanted? It was perfect that she took her own needs into consideration, rather than blame him. Wasn’t that a woman with strength? It was the type of woman who could pull through a heartache, the type of woman who could just about survive anything.
Now who wouldn’t want to date that type of woman? He wondered why she still remained single, and he thought about her while he was in medieval literature, right until he finished classes, walking for the next one, where she would be in. The idea of seeing her again made him smile to himself. It was another gloomy day, but she was sunshine, in a way, and she didn’t even know it. He didn’t even know why he thought of her as sunshine. They had only been together for all of two days, yet he had fun with her around. Was she another good human to be with? To pass the time? To pass another portion of his lifetime?
He found the walk pleasurable, enjoying what little warmth emanated from the air. The humidity had increased, and he knew it was going to rain again soon, something useful to himself and his father. He saw her from afar, a good few hundred feet away, talking to someone. His eyes narrowed. He didn’t even know who the guy was.
He had blonde hair, reminiscent of Scandinavian people, and he shyly inched closer to Kelsey, unconsciously rubbing his neck once in a while. Ha, amateur, William thought. He didn’t walk closer, instead, he sidetracked, walking closer to the trees, where he could slip in the building unnoticed by them.
He wondered what they were talking about, knowing they were too far. He didn’t have superhuman senses, unless he shifted, of course. It irked him to see that Kelsey was laughing so easily. The blonde-haired man must have made some stupid joke. She was holding the book in her hand. William could tell that the guy was asking her about it. She shyly showed him the book, and William felt incensed. The book was hers and hers alone, and while knowledge was meant to be shared, he didn’t want her to share it with a man who kept ogling at her face.
The man liked her, he realized. He passed by them, and from the corner of his eye, he knew that Kelsey saw him, but she said nothing, just like how he had wanted it… or did he want it? William felt a frisson of annoyance course through him, it felt like scales had bristled, heating up, angry. He didn’t want to feel any more of it. He quickly made his way into the building, joining the throng of students coming into their next classes. For a moment, he welcomed the crowd. They were a good form of self-control.
He was among the first to arrive in the amphitheater. Kelsey arrived a minute before the professor did, which irked him even more. Wasn’t she the good student? She was almost late. Almost. William knew he was being irrational. He was being hot-tempered without thinking about the consequences. Of course, she was free to talk to anyone she wanted to. They weren’t a couple, neither were they dating exclusively, and he had warned her not to be chummy with him in public.
William didn’t know Kelsey had it in her, whatever tiny forms of vengeance she had, it was certainly working, was it not? She’s just talking to a guy who’s probably, highly interested in her, he told himself as classes began. The professors had been given strict instructions to not put him in the spot, and they did it well. He was never asked a single thing in all the subjects he had been taking, and this class was no exception.
The professor did enjoy Kelsey’s answers, it seemed she knew more than most, and for a brief moment, William thought of how glad he was that the collegiate board had decided to grant her a scholarship. She was a brilliant student, smarter than just ‘book smart’. William saw the women who had ogled at him earlier, and they eyed Kelsey with dagger looks. Typical humans, he thought. They seemed to get a kick out of making enemies out of the smart ones, the quiet ones. Smart shaming was apparently still a thing?
He looked at Kelsey underneath the warm lights, marveling at how petite she was under it. Her dark hair shone, and the lights reflected on it. Her bonnet and blue cardigan made her look younger than her years. It was cute. He hadn’t thought he’d be using that term on a human. Cute was reserved for kittens. His father did eat strays during his shifting phases. It was why they also chose Oregon. Their manor teemed with wildlife, wildlife meant sustenance for a hungry beast…
Classes were through in a breeze. Had he been thinking that much? He saw her stand up from her seat, waiting for majority of the students to leave. It seemed she didn’t want to be with the crowd much, and he had begun to admire that.
He walked down the steps, reaching her just in time as she began to head for the door. He looked at her, and he saw the disappointment in her eyes. She looked away and walked the opposite direction, never looking back at him.
It actually stung.
*
“Please don’t expect that I be chummy with you immediately. There are certain things I can’t tell you yet, but hope you understand.”
She felt disheartened the moment he said that. Okay, maybe he didn’t trust her enough yet. At least he told her that, right? At least she knew where the boundaries were. At least she knew that he was putting a barrier between them. He couldn’t have been that afraid of intimacy- they did do the deed at his place… and it opened a whole new world for her. She found it hard to sleep that night. She was sore, and yet, she couldn’t help but bite her lower lip at the thought of their lovemaking. It was a frenzy, and she felt an inexplicable heat… Was it even lovemaking? A voice in her head asked. It was plainly sex, right? Two young, horny people who just happened to make the right connection the other night.
Would a right connection even last long? Perhaps, it was only right for a while, only right for the night. She saw him walking towards the amphitheater earlier, saw how he avoided her gaze. Klaus had met up with her before she could get in, eager to tell her about the book he ordered. She listened with rapt attention, until she saw William.
From then on, she barely heard a word that Klaus said. She nodded a few times, absentmindedly, and then excused herself, nearly late for class. She slipped in mere seconds before the professor came in, and she saw William, in his usual seat, without a care in the world, without the slightest glance at her.
What did he need to explain in the future? If he was going to explain it at all. She had a feeling he wouldn’t. He had looked at her with contempt in his eyes, it was an all-too brief glance, but she saw how much he was determined to keep her at a distance.
Kelsey consoled herself with the fact that apart from the ‘sex’, no actual intimate words were exchanged. Perhaps, that was what they meant by intimacy. That part actually bothered her. How could it just be plainly sex, when she gave her body and soul into that act? You don’t love him, a voice in her head told her. So, she told herself that the entire time, reinforcing it the moment she saw him ignore her, like he didn’t know her.
Was that how things were going to be? She didn’t want to be labelled a fool. He hadn’t asked her out on a date just to sleep with her, right? She didn’t want to believe he’d be that kind of person. Was he that kind of person? He had made such a big deal about her virginity, she’d have wanted to believe he was a gentleman in many other ways.
She looked at the book on the table and she held onto it for a moment before putting it back down. So, her heart softened because he gave her a book. Shouldn’t she be touched that he thought of giving it to her? That he noticed how much she enjoyed it? There were newer, more updated books, but this was a vintage, collector’s edition one, and the words on it were irreplaceable. This book had been the forerunner for encyclopedic history… she was screwed over a book, he ha
d toyed with her emotions over a book.
Rain began to pour outside, heavily at that, and she was ready to give up on the day and prepare herself for another battle tomorrow. Another battle with what? Life, another battle with life. She had always been a fighter; her father had called her one. Shaking her head, she headed for her bedroom, separated by a thin wall from the rest of her tiny apartment. Before she could, she heard a knock on the door. At this time of the night? She had hoped it wasn’t that collegiate student who indulged in borrowing eggs from her, or sugar. That neighbor took her time in reimbursing for the items she’d borrow.
Peeping through the hole, she saw William standing there. Her eyes widened, and without another thought, she opened the door. “Will, what are you doing here?”
He didn’t say a word, and for a moment, she thought she saw steam rise from his body, from his clothes, as if he was drying, despite how obvious the rain poured down on him. He took a step forward, and he crushed her mouth in his, shutting the door behind him.
Kelsey wanted to push him back, and her palms pressed against his chest in an effort to shove him away.
“What?” he whispered, his mouth hovering a hair’s width away from hers. “Do you want me to stop?”
She found that she couldn’t say anything, and William pulled her close to his body, and she felt the coldness of his wet clothes and she shuddered.
“Let’s heat things up, shall we?” he murmured, quickly taking off his shirt. Kelsey stared at his body for a brief moment, under the lights, she saw his body gleam from the fine sheen of water that stuck to his body and shirt.
She took a deep breath, but before she could take her shirt off, he stepped in and nearly tore it off of her. “That’s my favorite shirt,” she said in hoarse voice as he sucked on her neck.
“I’ll buy you ten,” he rasped, as his arms tightened around her.
Pants flew off, and then they found themselves in her room. Tongue trailing down her throat, she felt herself spasm as he stopped to nibble on one corner. One of her free hands slid down to his boxers, freeing him, and she found him slick and turgid. He was lusting over her, she saw it in his eyes. She held onto his member and she began to stroke it up and down, her animalistic instincts talking ahold of her.
William groaned, his chin lifting up, pleasure slinking through him. She saw him close his eyes, as he supported himself with both hands planked by her sides. She didn’t care if she was doing it right, if there was even a right to this. What she cared for was pleasing him. Some part of her thought that he should have never snubbed her earlier, this was her little revenge.
He groaned louder as her strokes grew urgent, and then his eyes snapped open. He held both of her hands down above her head, and he began licking her breasts, her nipples, licking them slowly and surely, and Kelsey found herself panting quietly, knowing he came here for this, and she had thought she didn’t want it anymore, but she did. He licked her navel, and she thrashed a bit, and still he held her down. She felt his hardness against one leg, and her chest heaved up and down, as his tongue flicked lower and lower.
She gasped aloud, as soon as he reached her clit. She bit her lower lip and closed her eyes, and he began to suck and nibble, and tease her; and she felt her flesh swell, her impatience grew. She could hear him lick her, hear his tongue play with her wetness. Kelsey moaned as his fingers stroked her, and then she felt his member against her, rubbing friction, and she felt the beginnings of a blaze in between her legs.
He eased himself in, his seduction of her was different this time. He was slow, deliberately slow, as if wanting to please her, when it was she who wanted to punish him however she could. Pushing her legs further apart, he let himself in deeper, thrusting with super-human control. She heard herself moan, a soft moan, contented and exulting. This was love making, she told herself. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead and back, and she rocked herself back and forth against him in perfect rhythm, a heat forming in between them, trembling and moaning her way into her first orgasm.
*
They lay beside each other, still fully naked, listening to the pitter patter of the rain on the ceiling. He didn’t want to say anything at first, not wanting to ruin the silence. So, he had warned her not to be close to him at all, and yet here he was, spending the night over at her place. He wasn’t sure of what he was doing. Wasn’t he supposed to be in control of his emotions?
He had felt jealous, that was what drove him to drive to her place. A human emotion had taken over him. That was a good thing, right? He had been shaking his head as he drove for her apartment, he had laughed at himself in the silence of his drive. Hours later, he was beside her, his body spent, but his mind on overdrive. There was no ‘what have I done’ moment, but it was more of ‘why her’?
Yes, why her? He listened to her breathing, listened to the quiet of her thoughts. If only he could read her mind. It was one trait he didn’t have. “What are you thinking of?” he finally asked aloud, clearing his throat. He was staring at the ceiling; her bedroom light was flickering out.
“I’ve been meaning to buy a new light bulb,” she replied.
He smiled to himself. “What else?”
“Why you’re here.”
“I’m asking myself that question, actually.”
“Why?” she continued.
He shrugged and sighed. “I think… I think it was because I was determined not to have contact with you in public. It worked well for a while.”
“Why?”
“I said I’d tell you about it some other time.”
“Because you still want to sleep with me?”
“That too,” he admitted.
“So much for your morals,” she huffed, shifting in bed.
“It’s my weakness, I think. My humanity.”
“You’re talking weird again, like you aren’t even a real person. Did I just sleep with an alien or something?”
“Well, if my dick didn’t feel real enough…” his voice trailed off, and he heard her snigger.
“Come on,” she said. “You know, you can have anyone here. Just don’t let me see it right away, make it gradual, make it less painful.”
“I don’t just go sleeping around,” William replied. “I’d like to think you won’t, too.”
“I just lost my virginity,” she responded wryly, “why would I keep testing the waters? I have no plans of being a ‘ho.”
“Who was the guy you were talking to earlier?” he asked her, shifting the topic.
“A schoolmate.”
“I saw that.”
“Klaus,” she said. “He’s nice. Likes books.”
Yeah, right. The only reason he likes books probably is because you work there. “Why do you think he’s nice? Did you two date?”
She shook her head in the dark. “No, of course not. But he’s been nice to everyone. I think it’s in his nature.”
“People are rarely genuinely nice. They’ll always need something, so they’ll be extra nice.”
“Sounds to me like you have such little faith in the commoners,” she told him.
He gave a short laugh, enjoying the sarcasm in her voice. “Commoners. Great. But if you’ve been in my position, your opinion would change gradually over the years.”
“Because I’ll be relegated to my little mansion, tucked away in some coastal forest, surrounded by books, wealth and unseen maids and butlers?”
“People change when they don’t get what they want, you of all people should know that.”
“I didn’t get a lot of what I was supposed to want,” she said, her voice lowered, as if thinking about her past. “I turned out okay. Had to adjust a lot, though. But yeah, here I am.”
“How do you do it?” he asked her. “I can’t bring myself to be the genuinely kind.”
“I’m not,” she replied. “But there are certain things in life I needed to do, I guess it’s brought me to where I am now. Well, it isn’t a guess, it has.”
“I think it b
est you stay away from Klaus,” he said.
“Why? You don’t even know him.”
“I don’t like seeing you with him.”
“He’s a friend. If that’s escaped your observation skills.”
“It hasn’t. Now that’s a guy being chummy.”
“Are you kidding me?” her voice sounded annoyed now. “You don’t get to say who I befriend. I mean, we dated once? And now you think you’re the boss of me?”
“Let’s just say,” he began, as he sat down to put his boxers on, “let’s just say I find you more than attractive, let’s just say I find you visually appealing, let’s just say I find you extremely likeable.”
“Let’s just say doesn’t sound very convincing. And I don’t think I’m in for an exclusive bedding session with you all the time. Nor would I like to be your exclusive friend.”
“How about exclusive girlfriend?” That response had come in casually, and it was something he had never thought he’d say in his entire lifespan.
“That sounded weird,” she said.
“I’m serious.”
“Have you ever been in a committed relationship?” she asked him.
He looked at her. “A few times in my life,” he admitted.
“What happened to those?”
“You just asked me to be your exclusive girlfriend, I had to ask. I mean girlfriend could mean you’d still see other people. So, what happened to those?”
“It didn’t work out.” It was as simple as that. “I don’t have to ask about your singular relationship years ago, right?”
She shook her head. “We were both immature. I heard he knocked someone up two years ago, but that was when I moved to Oregon just recently.”
And yet, he never touched you, he thought. How is that even possible? “So, that’s a yes?”
“Do we need a contract for this?”
“It’s exclusively dating. Why would we even need one?” he scoffed.
“I’m guessing we can’t be seen together in public, I’m guessing we can only date in your house?”