by Lucy Gillen
‘You knew him?’ She couldn’t think why that should surprise her, but somehow it did, and Jessie was nodding her head firmly.
`Mebbe better than most,’ she said.
From the kitchen doorway it was just possible to see the portrait, though at an angle, and Melodie looked across at it again curiously, unable to disguise or explain her interest in it. ‘He fascinates me,’ she confessed, and laughed, unsure of her reasons. ‘I don’t know why—I can’t imagine why unless it’s because of what I’ve heard about him. About how he was in love with someone once and she married someone else.’
‘His cousin.’ From her tone it might almost have
been a personal affront, Melodie thought. ‘Then they went to live in England and he never did see her again —it broke his heart.’
‘Poor man!’ She glanced again at the portrait, trying to see that strong-featured man as a broken-hearted lover and finding it difficult. ‘I know that it was Mrs Holland’s mother that he loved,’ she told Jessie. ‘Catriona told me, that’s why he left her Ben Ross when he died, as a kind of gesture, because he loved her mother!’
‘And that was the one really wicked thing he did!’ Jessie declared vehemently. ‘She’d no right to the place!’
Still puzzled, Melodie shook her head. ‘Then who had?’ she asked.
It was as if she suddenly recalled herself, Melodie thought, for it was clear from her expression that she intended saying nothing more, that she probably considered she had already said too much. ‘Ah well, it’s all done with now,’ she said as she turned into the kitchen, and Melodie knew she would not be hearing any more, not for the moment. ‘I’ll mebbe have to cook something else if this dinner is spoiled,’ Jessie grumbled, and Melodic shrugged resignedly as she turned away.
She had been wise to put on a jacket, for the evening breeze could be very chill, and it was already growing dusk as she made her way across to the stables. The shadow of the house darkened the yard and even the groom’s cottage seemed unoccupied for the moment with its new tenants obviously out for the evening, and a sharp east wind stole in off the moors, so that she shivered at a multiple of sensations as she made her way across the cobbles.
Inside it was quite dark except for the one stall where
an overhead light burned dimly, and she made her way past the other stalls, her footsteps swishing softly through the straw on the stone floor, to where she could ‘hear Neil’s voice, quiet and soothing, talking to Black Knight.
‘Neil?’
He turned as she came into the stall where Black Knight stood with a blanket covering him, already feeling well enough to lift his handsome head and glance suspiciously at her from the corner of his fiery eye. Neil was stroking him, his big hands soothingly gentle on the glossy neck, and the animal was going to resent any intrusion into a situation that suited him perfectly, snorting disapproval at her presence.
‘I came to warn you that Jessie is about to give notice if you don’t come at once and have your dinner.’ She accompanied the warning with a smile, and noted the wary eye of the stallion on her. ‘Shall I stay with Black while you go?’
‘No, you will not!’ Neil declared forcibly. He stepped back from his charge and walked a few paces along towards her, resting one hand on the partition and looking at her with a gleam in his grey eyes. ‘Neither will Jessie give notice,’ he added with a crook of smile on his firm mouth. ‘But I hadn’t realised how hungry I was.’ He glanced at his watch and whistled silently. ‘Nor did I realise it was so late—no wonder Jessie’s having a fit! ‘
‘I had my dinner over an hour ago.’
‘Then you can come and talk to me while I have mine.’ He looked down at her steadily for a second, one brow raised curiously. ‘Unless you’ve other plans,’ he added, and Melodie felt the colour in her cheeks as she shook her head.
‘Where would I be going at this hour of the night?’
Neil shrugged. His eyes were steel grey in the tanned and shadowed darkness of his face and his mouth had a slightly sardonic tilt at one corner. ‘Who knows?’ he said. ‘It’s not so late that you can’t go out and see a—friend.’
‘If you mean John, he’s gone somewhere with his aunt and uncle this evening, and I know no one else here.’
‘You know me.’
The deep quiet of his voice shivered through her, and she caught her breath at the rapid beat of her heart, her eyes carefully concealed by lowered lashes. ‘That’s true,’ she agreed, husky-voiced, ‘but you never ask me out, do you, Neil?’
She was thrillingly aware of his physical presence, but there was also an aura of excitement surrounding them that made her head spin with the sensation it created, and the desire to reach out and touch him was almost irresistible.
‘John Stirling’s in love with you.’ His words snatched her back to reality and she blinked at him for a second in confusion, her head shaking slowly. ‘You’re not going to deny it, are you, Melodie?’
It was hard not to deny it out of hand, but she thought he would probably despise her if she did, and she would hate for that to happen. ‘He says he is.’
‘Then you’d better believe it, little one ! ‘ His eyes held hers for a second, but she could not read anything beyond the faintly ironical smile in them. ‘Now will you come and talk to me while I eat, or not?’
The temptation to talk to him while he had .his belated meal was there, but instinctively she hesitated, patting Black Knight’s sleek flanks and not looking at
Neil. ‘Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with Black?’
‘Quite sure ! He came closer, taking her arm and moving them out of the stall, back from the proximity of the stallion’s restless hooves. ‘He’s perfectly all right on his own and I don’t trust you two together—Black doesn’t like females and you’re too impulsive. You wouldn’t resist getting too close and he’d probably kick you before I was half way across the yard.’
‘I don’t believe he would.’ She stepped back and stroked the glossy coat once more, but felt the muscles in the animal’s strong flanks twitch in dislike of a strange hand. ‘I’d love to make friends with him, Neil.’
‘Melodie l’ He gripped her arm firmly and drew her away, coming to a halt in the stable doorway. The grey eyes looked down at her steadily and she felt her cheeks flush with colour as she hastily looked away. ‘I want you to make me a promise.’ He slid a hand beneath her chin, lifting her face to him, though she kept her eyes lowered. ‘Will you?’
‘It depends on what it is.’
Thick black lashes cast dark shadows on her cheeks, and her mouth had a curious trembling softness when he fixed his gaze on it. His fingers held her tightly, hard as steel on her soft flesh and she tried to do something about the rapid thudding beat of her heart as he looked down at her.
‘Don’t ever go near Black Knight unless I’m here—promise?’ Melodie knew it made sense and she had no intention of doing other than as he said, but she did not answer for a second or two because she was still trying to think clearly and to speak other than in the husky whisper that she felt sure was all she could manage at the moment. The hand around her jaw
jerked her face up to him sharply and he leaned closer, his eyes narrowed. `Melodie—are you ready to promise me?’
‘Yes! Yes, of course I am ! ‘
He seemed unconvinced for he went on as if she had not spoken, his words warm on her mouth as he bent over her. ‘It’s only in romantic fiction that pretty girls can instinctively tame difficult animals—in real life Black would just as soon kick in your lovely head as look at you! ‘
`Then I won’t give him the opportunity!’
She half expected him to make some bland remark about her being a good girl, and she steeled herself not to mind too much that he treated her as if he was an approving uncle. She was completely unprepared for the firm pressure of his mouth on hers, and her eyes flew wide open in surprise at the first touch of his lips, then were almost immediately hidden again by the lon
g sweep of lashes.
The pounding of her heart was like a drum beat and she felt curiously lightheaded as she placed her hands instinctively to the broadness of his chest, her fingers fanned out over his heart’s beat. But before she could respond to the kiss as every nerve in her body urged her to, Neil raised his head and was looking down at her with the gentle warmth of temptation in his eyes, smiling in a way that touched her senses like fire.
‘I hope you know how to keep a promise,’ he said.
She shook her head slowly, her eyes blank with the shock of disappointment and surprise. ‘Neil—’
He was not giving her his full attention any longer, it seemed, for he walked back into the stall and patted the stallion’s neck with a consoling hand. ‘You’re on trust too, ma lad.’ He glanced back at Melodic and
his eyes were warm with laughter. ‘Just in case this crazy wee creature takes it into her head to come and visit you, try and behave like a gentleman, will you?’
The black tried to turn and watch them go, but he could see no more than Neil’s arm being placed around Melodie’s shoulders as he led her from the stable and back to the house. The chill wind off the moor whispered across the cobbled yard and made her shiver, and Neil looked down at her and smiled, hugging her more closely as if to shield her from the blow.
Her eyes were like great blue jewels in her small face and made dark as night by the shadows of evening, but he could still make out the slight pout of reproach on her mouth as she glanced up at him, snuggling close in the curve of his arm.
‘Don’t you trust me?’ she asked. ‘I promised I wouldn’t go near Black Knight except if you were there —isn’t that good enough ?’
The arm about her shoulder tightened still more, and Neil looked at her for a moment in silence, then once more the gleam of white teeth in his tanned face betrayed a smile, and he shook his head. ‘You’re a woman and they’re an unreliable breed for the most part—but you’re probably no worse than the majority.’
‘Thank you!’
This time he laughed, a soft deep sound that fluttered across the top of her hair as he bent his head over her. ‘But prettier than most,’ he added, and Melodic smiled to herself in the dusk.
CHAPTER NINE
MELODIE was finding it hard to concentrate. The landscape she was working on was nearing completion, but at the back of her mind and impossible to ignore was the knowledge that there was less than two weeks of her scheduled stay left. All too soon she would have to see about finding herself a permanent home, and she had already made up her mind to settle in Scotland. John had warned her that she might find it hard to leave, and his prophecy was proving true.
She paused in what she was doing and gazed across the glen to the soaring majesty of Ben Midden whose elusive magic she was trying to reproduce on her canvas. It was difficult to capture the awesome magnificence of the mountain and at the same time convey that soft, misty look that seemed to change with every minute, but she was quite pleased with what she had achieved so far.
It was warm in the sun and early August had a mellowness that late June had lacked. It added a golden look to everything, but it also gave a slightly more keen edge to the breeze that blew across the sheltered glen below her from the cooler heights of the hills and mountains. It was the first of the changes in character that she had anticipated when she first saw the place and it intrigued and fascinated her with its subtlety.
The sun warmed her face and the breeze wisped her black hair about her neck as she gave her attention
again to her work, too intent on her own thoughts to notice anyone approach. The first indication she had that she was no longer alone was when a pair of firm hands curled over her shoulders from behind, and John’s voice spoke close to her ear as he bent over her. ‘Hi, sweetheart!’ His lips brushed across her neck in a shiver-inducing caress, and he hugged her for a second before squatting on his heels beside her. ‘Hey, that’s pretty good! ‘
Melodie turned and smiled, gratified but cautious as always of biased opinions like John’s. ‘It’s coming on,’ she allowed cautiously, ‘but there’s a lot to do to it yet, and I haven’t too much time.’
‘Before you leave here?’
She nodded. Although nothing had yet been said by anyone at Ben Ross about her coming departure she knew it must have occurred to both Neil and Jessie McKay that she would soon be leaving. For her own part, she preferred not to think about it, but it was something that had to be faced sooner or later.
‘In less than a fortnight, my two months are up.’
‘Then what?’
The intensity of his interest drew her gaze, and she looked at him for a second or two with her eyes narrowed curiously. ‘Why, then I have to find somewhere of my own—somewhere permanent. In fact I ought to be looking already, it probably won’t be all that easy to find somewhere.’
‘Around here?’
She smiled ruefully, pulling a face as she admitted it. ‘You were right about me not wanting to leave here when the time came; I’m hooked on the Highlands, and I’m going to try and find somewhere not too far from here.’
‘I see.’
Something in his voice made her look round at him again. She sensed something in the hunch of his shoulders that made her vaguely uneasy, and John wasn’t looking at her but down at the ground between his feet. Putting down her brush, she absently wiped her hands and looked at him curiously.
‘John, is something wrong?’
He took several moments to answer but continued to look down at the ground. Then, as if he had suddenly made up his mind about something, he caught her eye and held it steadily for a second before he spoke. ‘Melodie, I’m going back to Canada—I’m going home.’
‘Oh!’
She wasn’t sure what she felt about it exactly. She liked John, she liked him very much and she would miss him, but she felt somehow that the fact of his going home wasn’t the extent of what he had to say to her. She felt a curious sense of anticipation so intense that she got to her feet suddenly and stretched the cramped muscles in her hand and arm.
Almost at once John was beside her, standing close as she looked down at the glen and the deep, placid stillness of Loch Lairdross. `I’m asking you to come with me, Melodie.’
It was not completely unexpected, if she was honest, for John had been asking her at fairly frequent intervals during the past couple of weeks to marry him, as he had said he would, yet somehow she knew that this time it was just a little bit different. It had not been easy to say no at other times, but this time she felt he was even more in earnest, it was like a last appeal, and was that much harder to refuse.
She hesitated, and by hesitating she probably gave him a wrong impression, for he put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him, his eyes searching her face anxiously for some sign that she had had second thoughts since the last time he asked her.
‘Will you come back with me, Melodie, and marry me in Canada?’
‘Oh, John—’ She bit her lip and her eyes were wide and anxious when she looked up at him. If only it had not come to this when she was so unprepared for it. ‘I—can’t; I’m truly sorry, but I can’t, John.’
The brown eyes already showed resignation even before she finished speaking, and he made a grimace with his mouth that was meant to be a smile. ‘I guess I knew the answer already—I’ve known it all along. Ever since you were so reluctant to tell me about that ride you took with McDowell!’
‘But, John, I—’
He placed a firm finger over her lips to silence her, and he was shaking his head again, that caricature of a smile still in place. ‘Don’t bother to deny ‘It, honey, I know when I’m licked—but I had to try one last time.’
‘Oh, John, I’m sorry!’
He laughed, but it was a harsh unsteady sound that was completely devoid of humour, and he pulled her close suddenly and kissed her mouth with a swift urgency that suggested it was as much a gesture of defiance, and she hated the chan
ge in him. More especially because she felt she had contributed to it, however unwittingly.
‘Is it me you feel sorry about, or yourself for loving a lost cause, sweetheart?’ The brown eyes scanned her-small flushed face with a hint of desperation. ‘It is a lost cause, you know, Melodie. Even if he wasn’t still
nursing a fancy for his erstwhile boss, he’s still far too wrapped up in Ben Ross to give priority to any woman, even one as delectable as you.’
It was something that until now Melodie had preferred not to think too much about. She was prepared to admit, though only to herself at the moment, that Neil McDowell had become the most important factor in her life during the past few weeks, but she still shied away from admitting that it was love she felt for him. She did not look directly at John, but hid her eyes with lowered lashes, her gaze fixed on the spot where his throat emerged from the collar of his shirt.
‘The question of lost causes or not doesn’t arise, John. I’ll be leaving here in a couple of weeks or less, and it’s unlikely I’ll ever see Neil again.’
‘And you’ll find that quite easy to do, will you?’ Melodie looked up quickly, her eyes wide and darkened by a sudden hurt and John was already contrite. ‘I’m sorry, honey! I shouldn’t have made a crack like that, knowing the way it feels to be—’ His shoulders shrugged helplessly. ‘I guess I just wanted to hit back.’
Her head was spinning, filled with a chaotic jumble of thoughts and emotions, none of which made much sense to her at the moment. John’s remark, inspired by bitterness in his own disappointment, had gone home more deeply than she had been prepared for, but she might as well admit that it would be the hardest thing in the world for her not to see Neil again, if it had to be that way.
If, as John implied, Neil cared too deeply for Ben Ross to care very much about anything or anyone else, then the best solution was for her to go away and never see him again, but it hurt none the less for all that. She clenched her hands tightly at her sides and tried to