Mortified that she had neglected her babies today, she skirted him, leaving plenty of space between them while ignoring the way her stomach clenched at his scent.
Musky.
Soapy.
All man.
Her heartbeat accelerated.
Dangerous. Stay away from him.
They worked together in silence with as much distance between them as the small shed allowed. Cassie finished filling the other bins and came over to visit with Graciela a minute before Lucas entered the small space to fill the trough with fresh water.
The air sizzled with energy, and her breathing became labored. When she moved to escape, Graciela side butted her without warning, and she yelped as she hurtled toward the wall.
“Whoa, darlin’!”
Water sloshed from his bucket as Lucas reached out to steady her, dousing her poncho with frigid water. “Oh, Goddess! So cold!” The trough would have warmed it some, but this water had come straight from the tap.
“Here, let’s get that wet thing off you.”
Before she could escape, his hands lifted the lower edge of the garment and yanked it over her head. While happy to be rid of the cold, wet covering, she soon realized her nightgown was not substantial enough to shield her body from his gaze.
Cassie crossed her hands over her breasts, but not before Lucas zeroed in on the swelling of her nipples. To his credit, he quickly looked away, but fear coursed down her spine. She took a step away, running into Gracie’s side.
Trapped.
His gaze met hers, concern in his eyes. “You okay, Sweet Pea?”
She was nearly hyperventilating. No, she was far from okay. She needed to escape before he touched her. Putting one foot out to the right, she sidled along the length of Graciela’s body. Just a few more steps.
Lucas came toward her. Her mind flashed back to the cantina.
Panicked, Cassie backed into Milagrosa who had come around her mother, perhaps to see what was going on or to see Lucas with whom she had formed a solid bond. Lucas’s hands grabbed her.
She batted his hand away and screamed. Fight back!
She lifted her knee in an attempt to connect with his groin, but he was too fast and deflected her movement with his own knee before spinning her around and pulling her against his body, his arm below her breasts like a vise.
She fought him. “I…cannot…breathe.”
“Take it easy, darlin’! You’re safe. I’m just trying to keep you from falling over Millie.”
Lucas?
He held her as if to show he only wanted to steady her. She breathed in and out rapidly, her heart pounding, before rational thought began to filter into her consciousness.
This is Lucas. He will not harm me.
How could she be so sure? She had ignored her instincts once before with disastrous results.
He lowered his mouth to her ear. “Trust me, Sweet Pea. I wouldn’t hurt you for anything.”
Cassie wanted to believe him. She had no reason not to, other than history with other men who were not as honorable. As the adrenaline rush subsided, her body shook. Lucas turned her around to face him and pulled her against his hard chest before tucking her head under his chin.
His hands stroked her back. He wasn’t holding her prisoner. Instead, his hands and body almost seemed to shelter her. He gave her a safe harbor until able to stand on her own again. “Shhh. Just relax. You’re safe with me.”
Cassie replayed several self-defense training moves in her mind to help her prepare in case she needed them. Against her better judgment, she rested her forehead against his chest and felt the steady beat of his heart. The rhythm calmed her for some reason.
“’Atta girl.” He stroked her hair, and she relaxed a little more.
A creaking sound preceded the rush of wind through the door.
“In his arms again, Casandra?”
Cassie broke free and spun around to find her brother staring at her with condemnation. His gaze took in her lack of clothing, and he narrowed his gaze.
“Eduardo, it is not what you are thinking. I almost fell. Lucas caught me.”
“What would our parents say if they knew what was going on up here? No, I do not intend to tell them what I found you doing here—twice now. It would kill them. But is that the reason you do not visit them? Are you too ashamed to face them? If I had known you would forget your upbringing, I never would have convinced them to let you take that scholarship.”
Anger boiled up inside her.
She pushed away from Lucas. “I have done nothing to bring shame on our family.” Except to trust the wrong man, someone my family chose for me. “But even if Lucas and I were involved with each other, this is the twenty-first century. No one cares about my reputation.”
“I care.”
Lucas’s words forced her to face him again. What was he saying?
“Call me old-fashioned, darlin’, but I don’t want your parents thinking badly about you because of me.”
“Lucas, you are not helping the situation any.”
“Hear me out, Sweet Pea.”
Please stop calling me by your silly endearments in front of my brother!
She clenched her hands until the nails dug into the palms.
“I don’t want your brother thinking the wrong thing about us. We both know how far off base he is.” Lucas met Eduardo’s gaze and addressed her brother in a stern voice. “You need to respect your sister enough to know she’s telling you the truth when she says nothing inappropriate happened.”
“I trust what I see with my own eyes.”
“Maybe you need to pull your eyes and mind out of the gutter then. I’ve never met a woman with more integrity or a bigger heart than your sister. I’m still waiting to hear you apologize to her.”
Cassie shook her head, wishing the floor would open up and swallow her. She hated confrontation and did not want the two men to come to blows if Eduardo refused the challenge thrown down by Lucas.
Feeling like a pawn in this game of machismo, Cassie had reached her limit. “When is someone going to listen to what I think? What I want?” She vowed long ago never to be in the position again where other people controlled her life, her future. “I am going back to bed.” She grabbed her poncho and fled from the shed, heading to her only remaining sanctuary.
Cassie hung the wet poncho on the hook by the door and removed her boots and socks. She stretched out on the bed, but after staring at the ceiling for what had seemed like an hour or two, she decided she needed something to help rid her of the day’s negativity. Perhaps immersing herself in her hot tub, regardless of who might invade her privacy, would help. Shucking the gown, she ran from the warm studio into the frigid night. Her body soon prickled with goose bumps.
She immersed her lower body into the tepid water but had to reset the temperature to warm the water—closer to ninety than eighty. As the water heated—or her body adjusted to its temperature—she closed her eyes and imagined herself deep within the womb of Pachamama.
Safe.
Clean.
Innocent.
She began her ritual chanting, standing with arms outstretched as she let the cold air wash over her from head to knees. The moon shone over her view—Mama Quilla watching over her as well. When she began to shiver, she immersed herself again in the warm waters. Three times, she did this as she attempted to restore peace, light, and harmony to her life once more.
When finished, she climbed out of the tub and reentered the studio. Wrapped in a silk robe, she went to her altar where she knelt. She burned desert sage leaves to rid her mountain and her heart of negativity.
After lighting her spirit candle, she surrounded herself in the white light and entered into a deep meditation.
Confusing images floated across her third eye. Riding a horse with Lucas’s arms wrapped around her. Another image was with Lucas beside a stream, mountains looming behind them. Her panties hung on a nearby bush. Heat infused her face. A final image was of L
ucas, his hand shaking as he placed a wedding ring on her finger and vowed to cherish and protect her forever.
Cassie’s eyes shot open, pulling her abruptly out of the meditation.
Fantasy or prophecy?
Mama Quilla might be showing her the future, but how could Lucas play such an important part in her destiny? Then again, it was equally preposterous to find herself fantasizing about the man. He needed to return to his life and leave her alone.
What if he was the man chosen by Mama Quilla for her? She questioned the Goddess seeking answers, but as she had been for years, She remained silent.
Giving up, she dressed in her gown again and crawled into the futon bed. Sleep did not come for many hours that night.
In the morning, she went to the cabin to start breakfast. Eduardo sat in an armchair by the fire reading what looked like a voluminous report given the number of pages. She greeted him, but his grunt told her he was not paying attention. He was probably engrossed in something about volcanoes or earthquakes.
Lucas was nowhere to be seen. A plate and mug sat rinsed in the sink. One of them must have eaten already.
“He ate before heading out to work on the road.” She glanced toward the doorway where Eduardo stood leaning against the jamb.
With Eduardo’s constant badgering about Lucas since the moment he arrived, she really did not care to have any further conversations with him.
So breakfast needed to be something quick. She prepared two bowls of oatmeal and set them on the table with two glasses of juice. Eduardo poured each of them a mug of black coffee that he must have brewed earlier, and they sat together eating in blessed silence for a while.
“Pedro asks about you.”
Cassie’s stomach threatened to heave the contents of her meal. “Did you tell him where I am?”
He narrowed his gaze. “No. I honored your request. I still do not understand why you broke up with him. He could have provided you with a fine home and many children.”
She clenched the spoon. Thankfully, the rape had not resulted in a pregnancy. She would not have known which man was the father. Cassie swallowed against the acid burning her throat and set her spoon down.
The thought of facing Pedro again made her even more ill. Perhaps she should tell Eduardo what happened, but what good would it do now?
“Did he do something the night you went out unchaperoned that we should know about?”
Change the subject. “You thanked me last night for saving your life. Well, you saved mine as well.”
He quirked his brows.
“Without you paving the way for me to go to uni, I might not have found my true path. It definitely did not lie in our village.” She smiled at him. “You opened doors for me and gave me the chance to earn my degree. Papá never would have agreed to let me go without you, so thank you.”
“If given the chance, though, I am not sure I would do it over again knowing that the experience took you away from us. But I have always understood how important your career is. Your talent should be shared with the world.”
She drew in a deep breath. “Eduardo, I am happy in this place and plan to stay here.”
“Human beings are not meant to live in such isolation. Why would you shut yourself off like this?”
Lucas’s image flashed across her mind. She wondered if Eduardo was projecting that image to her, whether intentionally or not, to make her think about what it might be like having someone to share her life with up here. Then she remembered her meditation last night and shuddered.
Was Lucas part of her destiny? How could that be?
“Never mind, Casandra. I am sorry if I have been unbearable during this visit.” Overbearing was a more accurate description. He reached out and squeezed her hand. “I miss you. My logical mind tells me you are an adult who can make her own decisions. But my heart sees you as my little sister and probably always will. When I found you in the shed—struggling to get away from a man I thought was taking advantage of you—well, that image is hard to eradicate.”
“You know now that he was doing no such thing.” Hearing him admit he thought she was being attacked and then how quickly he tried to coerce her into marrying the very person he thought was attacking her made her grateful she had kept her mouth shut in Peru. Countless women there had been forced into such marriages, a deplorable fate.
Machismo. The men in her country lived under its archaic influence. But Eduardo had seen enough of the world to know they did not have to follow the dictates of the generations who had come before them. Why was he so adamant about marrying her off? Was he tired of having to be her protector from so far away?
“Is Denton successful at what he does?”
She glanced at Eduardo and blinked a few times as she attempted to follow the shift in the conversation. “I suppose so. He is a Renaissance man with a number of talents and stays quite busy.”
“Would he be able to support you?”
Ah. This again. “Eduardo, I can support myself. I do not need a man for that or anything else.”
“He said himself he would marry you.”
“If he had damaged my reputation, which you know he has not done.” Why is it men only heard what they wanted to hear?
She still had no clue why Lucas had said that, making them both sound guilty. She sighed. “I think he is just traditional, like you.” Maybe he was not as bad as Eduardo, but bad enough. “Lucas does not understand our culture, and I am certain he had no idea you insinuated that he should marry me because you think he slept with me.” She could not bring herself to say, “have sex.”
He paused a moment, perhaps weighing whether he should say more, but then he went ahead anyway.
“Casandra, I came here to remind you that our parents are growing older. Papá had a health scare a few months ago.”
“What do you mean?” Papá had been sick? Why had no one told her?
“A precancerous growth on his face was removed.”
Her mind flashed to the painting she had done of their parents sitting in her studio. She had astral projected while painting it—letting her spirit leave her body and travel to them in another dimension. This was the only way to see what Papá looked like now. Then, as often happened when she created a piece of art, she zoned out and let her hands and subconscious create the work without interference from her mind.
Now she remembered what had appeared to be a burn mark just above his lip. While it had puzzled her, she painted it in thinking perhaps he had burnt himself with one of the cigars he loved so much. “Why did no one say anything?”
He shrugged matter-of-factly. “They removed the spot, but he did not want to worry you.”
Cassie tamped down her anger at being left out. Papá had a brush with what might eventually be cancer and no one had bothered to tell her? Was he afraid to find out if she would have ignored him at such a time?
Would she have? She did not know. Tears stung her eyes. Still, she could have tried to speak with him by phone at least.
“They miss you very much, Casandra. Why do not you not come back home? Just for a visit at least.”
She glanced down and shook her head. “It breaks my heart not to see Mamá y Papá again and to know they are hurting because of me, but this I cannot change. If only we could meet somewhere outside of the village or Lima.”
“Papá is too old to travel, and Mamá will not go without him.”
“I know. So I will have to content myself to Skyping with Mamá and…” Of course, he did not understand her spiritual abilities, so did not mention astral projection, the only means she had of seeing Papá again.
“I am sorry, Eduardo.” She stood. “All I want is to be left alone.”
“Someone has hurt you. I have to guess it was Pedro.”
She did not intend to tell him the extent to which Pedro had hurt her, but wanted to remove the shame she had carried all this time. Pedro would never again have any power over her. “Pedro is not the man Papá thought he was.”
He made a fist. “You know I would keep him away from you if you do not wish to see him.”
She held up her hand. “Thank you, but I still cannot go back there.”
He leaned forward. “Tell me what he did.”
She retreated and pressed her back against the chair. “It is in the past. I have let it go.” Or tried to.
“Are you sure? Did he hurt you so badly that you will shut out every other man who might want to love and cherish you?”
Yes, Pedro had hurt her, betrayed her in the vilest way, but she could not reveal to Eduardo the details for fear her brother would attempt to avenge her innocence, her honor. When Cassie began shaking uncontrollably, Eduardo stood and came toward her. He hunkered down beside her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer.
She tamped down the feeling of being smothered.
This is my brother.
“I do not wish to speak of him ever again.”
“I understand, but do not let him keep you estranged from your family. Your place is there, not here in this lonely cabin.”
“I am not lonely.” Not anymore. Wait! Clarify that thought. “I have my alpacas to keep me company now.” And Lucas Denton. The unbidden thought wheedled its way into her brain anyway, despite efforts to block it. “This is my home now.”
Thankfully, Lucas would be leaving soon. Her heart was growing too attached to having him around. She hated to become dependent upon someone, especially a man.
They always want more than I am willing to give.
Her meditation visions from last night came back to haunt her. What did they mean? She had no future with Lucas or any man.
The walls were closing in on her. She needed to escape right now. She tore herself away from his arms and stood. “I will see you later. Please do not harass Lucas anymore. He is a kind and gentle man who does not deserve to be treated that way.”
“If he is so wonderful, why would you not want to marry him?”
“Because he deserves someone who can love him back. I am not that woman.”
“Nonsense. You have much love to give. Besides, if you marry him, we will not have to worry about you alone in this foreign land anymore.”
Nobody's Dream (Rescue Me Saga #6) Page 15