“I plan to be one of several doting uncles to Adam’s three—and to Marisol, too.”
Cassie nodded, thankful he did not put any pressure on her to be a true wife, as if pressure from him would change the situation any. “I am going to be the best aunt I can be to those babies. I so miss seeing my own niece and nephews grow up. Eduardo’s wife is due this month with their fourth.”
“So Eduardo made it home okay?”
Cassie nodded.
“What did your parents think of the portrait?”
“They have not seen it yet. It is for their anniversary next month. I feel a little guilty that I am not presenting it to them in person.” Until now, she had no desire to be at the celebration, but strange feelings were stirring within her. She missed her family.
“You’ll visit when the time is right. I assume they know we’re married. How’d they take the news?”
“Mamá cried. She told Papá for me. He does not like to Skype. But in later conversations, she told me he hoped to meet you someday.”
She furrowed her brow, unable to imagine that time ever coming. She still did not wish to return to Peru, with or without Lucas. Heat rose in her face, and she avoided making eye contact with him.
Shame.
At least only Kitty and Angelina knew about her past. Neither would share that information with Lucas.
“Why don’t we have supper together again when things settle down here?” She felt ashamed of herself, too, for shirking her promise to have dinner with him occasionally. So far, she had only met with him once for dinner two weeks ago.
“I am not sure when that will be, but I will let you know soon.”
Lucas nodded, as if he trusted her to follow through. She would this time. Once she settled back into her routine.
Lucas drained his cup. “Well, I’m going to head back down to the ranch. Need to get in the workshop and make a special bed for the babies to share. I’ll check on the alpacas on the way so you can have more time here.”
She gazed at Lucas’s face. Why did he always have to be so nice? “Actually, I cannot do much while Kitty and the babies are in the hospital, but I could definitely use your help when she and the babies go home. She is going to need all of us pitching in to help, I am sure.”
“Just to make sure I don’t put my foot in it upstairs, have you told anyone about our marriage?”
How could he call it a marriage? She glanced down at her bare left ring finger. She had removed the ring soon after the wedding, although for some reason she carried it in her purse. She glanced at Luke’s finger and saw he still wore his.
Cassie shook her head. “No. Our arrangement would be too complicated for them to understand and so much has been going on with everyone.” She reached across the table to tap his ring. “Would you mind terribly not wearing this around them? I fear someone will notice and remark on it.”
He shrugged, but did not move to take the ring off. “I meant my vows, Cassie. If anyone notices and asks, I’ll say something about my wife, and they can draw their own conclusions. Most will probably think I’m referring to Maggie.”
Cassie pulled her hand back to a safer distance. Was she wrong in refusing to acknowledge this man as her husband by law?
No.
“It is not right that I am tying you down to something you only agreed to in order to please my parents.”
“Don’t be puttin’ words into my mouth, darlin’. I very much want you as my wife.”
He wanted her? Why? She sighed. “I can never be a wife other than on that piece of paper we signed.”
“I’m a patient man.”
More like a saint.
“Lucas, you deserve much better.”
He grinned. “You don’t hear me complaining, do you? I’m also optimistic. Have dinner with me this week before Karla goes home.”
She nibbled her lower lip, unsure why she did not turn him down immediately. “You also are a good man.”
“Tryin’ my best. I was a Boy Scout, after all.” His grin disarmed her. “Besides that, I had a momma who’d kick my ass if I was anything but a gentleman.”
She smiled. “Your mother must be very special.”
“Oh, that she is. Come down to my place next month, and you can meet her yourself.”
Cassie glanced down at her cup, using her thumbnail to carve lines into the Styrofoam. “No, I do not think I should do that.”
“Even with Momma as a chaperone?” he teased. “Hell, we’ve been alone in a much smaller place without anything happening.” He paused, and his voice became more serious. “You know you can trust me, Cassie.”
When she met his gaze again, she saw his grin had faded.
You ask too much of me Lucas.
“I should head home now. I’m sure Graciela is missing me.”
“Don’t run yourself down, Sweet Pea. Glad you’re going to get home before dark.”
She saw genuine caring in his eyes. Suddenly uncomfortable, she stood and slid the chair back, letting its legs squeak along the linoleum. “Thanks again for the offer to help with the alpacas in the coming weeks. I will let you know when I need you there.”
He stood and nodded. “You have my number. Use it. Anytime you need me, just call or text. I’m only ten miles away from your place and happy to help out. Not much else I can do in this whole baby thing but make baby beds and take care of your babies.”
“That means a lot to me, and I know it will to Kitty and Adam, too.” For some reason she could not put her finger on, she was reluctant to part from him. She had to admit she missed having him to talk with, not realizing how quiet and lonely it was on her mountain.
But she did not need the complication of a man in her life. “Be careful on the roads, too, Lucas.” The thought of anything happening to him hurt her heart. He had been through so much already.
“You, too, darlin’.”
Feeling awkward, she walked away, but Lucas fell into step beside her. Her body responded to his nearness. Heart racing, chest tightening, breath quickening. Why would being near someone as safe as Lucas trigger her fight-or-flight response?
When they reached the main lobby, he said goodbye again, and she watched him make his way to the elevators to go up and visit. She suffered a pang of regret that nothing more than a superficial friendship could ever exist between them, despite the certificate of marriage that should have promised more.
She still had the slip of paper on which Lucas had handwritten their vows. She had reread them more than once. Perhaps when things settled down, she would make an effort to try harder to live up to her end of this arrangement and have dinner with the man at least.
Most certainly, Lucas Denton deserved something in return for all he had sacrificed for her.
* * *
Four days later, Cassie joined Kitty to help her prepare to leave the hospital.
“Kitty, let me help.” Cassie hoped she was helping, at least, given how little she knew about human babies. She opened the diaper bag and pulled out two tiny diapers while Kitty unsnapped Paxton’s sleeper, his feet in perpetual motion. “The nurse should be here with the wheelchair soon. I know you will be happy to go home.”
“Yeah, but it’s torture leaving Rori behind. We’ll be torn between spending as much time as possible here in the NICU, and at home with her siblings. I hate that they will be separated so long at such a young age.”
“Do not worry. Even if decades and thousands of miles separate these babies, they have an invisible, indestructible cord attaching their hearts to one another. The Universe will continue to move through their lives and keep them emotionally close, no matter what.”
Kitty brushed away a tear. “This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, Cass.” Her voice had grown husky with her tears.
Cassie kept one hand on Kate, who patiently awaited her turn, while stroking Kitty’s back with the other. “It will only be a few weeks. Just concentrate on all the happy years you have to come with your children. G
iving Aurora a healthy start in life is the most important thing now.”
“I know. Mom was right. Motherhood sure isn’t for wimps. I worry about everything now.”
Cassie could only imagine. She looked forward to experiencing the joy of motherhood vicariously through Kitty’s wee babies. Such precious gifts. How one mother could care for three babies was beyond Cassie’s comprehension, though.
“It is good your mom’s going to stay the rest of the week to help you settle into a routine.”
Kitty laughed. “You and Adam with your talk of routines. I don’t know that there will ever be anything routine about life with triplets.” She fastened the last of the snaps covering Paxton’s legs. “Next.”
Cassie changed places with Kitty and swaddled Paxton the way the nurse had taught her while the new mamá changed Kate’s diaper. Picking up and holding Paxton pulled at heartstrings Cassie thought had been severed long ago.
“Hi, precious little boy. Tía Cassie is going to spoil you rotten.” She had spent the night in Kitty’s house last night, but slept on the sofa rather than her friend’s bed. Everything was as ready as it could be for the new family.
“May I join the club?” Cassie glanced up as Angelina entered the room. She, too, had been here every one of the past four days, usually bringing delicious meals for everyone to feast on. Angelina was empty-handed today. Undoubtedly, a feast had been prepared to welcome them home.
Angelina pinched Paxton’s cheek affectionately. “Ah, bambino mio. Here’s another auntie ready to commence spoiling you.”
“Hey, you two, don’t forget that you’ll go home eventually, and I’ll have to be the mean-old-mommy who has to correct all that spoiling.” Kitty wrapped Kate tightly and waved a hand toward Angelina. “Oh, heck. I guess you can spoil this one a little bit, too, while I pack the last of my toiletries. Adam is probably waiting at the door downstairs for us already.”
Angelina smiled and accepted the sweet bundle. “Come to Zia Angie.” She cooed at the baby before growing serious and turning toward Kitty. “My biological clock is going to go haywire, you know. Marc and I might have to move up next year’s wedding date if we’re not careful.”
“Don’t rush it, Angie,” Kitty said. “You have plenty of time to have babies. Enjoy this time with Marc.”
Cassie envied her friends and their bliss-filled lives. Did they know how blessed they were to have been granted the gift of love and family?
You could have that, too, Cassie.
Fortunately, her covetous musings were interrupted when the door swung open and a nurse pushed a wheelchair into the room. “Mrs. Montague, I believe there is one impatient Marine waiting at the hospital entrance to collect his new family…well, most of it.”
Soon, they had Kitty seated with Paxton in his car seat on her lap. Cassie carried Kate in the car seat while Angelina slung the diaper bag and overnight bag over each shoulder and picked up the remaining flower arrangement. Adam had taken three other potted plants to the SUV earlier. Maybe Cassie could help plant the hardy azaleas at Kitty’s new house after it finished blooming. Kitty would not have time for gardening for a while.
Thank God, they did not live at his sex club any longer. Cassie had always been afraid to venture from her guest room there for fear of seeing some man wandering the halls naked, or nearly so, a dominated woman in tow—or worse yet, on a leash.
“Dominance isn’t a need of mine, although there are aspects of being a Dom that are innate in me.”
She shuddered at the disturbing image of Lucas leading an oppressed woman on a leash like that. All the more reason to keep their relationship on a friendship-only basis.
But Kitty wore no collar, and she had never seen Adam treat her with anything but love and respect. Besides, Kitty would never exchange the pretty necklace made of Black Hills gold that he had given her on their honeymoon for a dog collar. Cassie had not seen Kitty without that necklace since she had returned to Denver in January.
Forty minutes later, the newborn brother and sister were snuggled together in a single bassinet in Kitty’s new bedroom. This enormous house had felt rather cold and impersonal at the wedding, but even in the short time Kitty had been here before going into labor, the place already had a family vibe to it. Soon it would be filled with the squeals and laughter of three children.
You are so fortunate, Kitty.
A real marriage with children was not part of Cassie’s life chart this time around.
Kitty’s gaze never left her two sleeping babies. She smiled. “They’ll outgrow this arrangement all too soon. Luke is coming by today with something that all three can share once Rori comes home.”
Cassie moved over to stand beside her. Paxton had his arm stretched over his sister in a protective way. She remembered when she and Eduardo had been that close.
But she did not wish to think about him now. “You know what they say, Kitty. Mamá should sleep when her baby—or babies—do.”
“I know, but I’m not tired, and there’s so much to do.”
“You must follow doctor’s orders. Now, lie down.”
Kitty sighed and moved toward the bed. “Yes, ma’am.” She still moved gingerly from her incision.
Cassie pulled a coverlet over her. “You have enough layette items to last a year, and we will be adding more when we have your shower next week. Since they will not be sleeping in a crib for a while, this cozy arrangement is perfect.” Their bonding with one another was so important to Kitty. If only she could see, they had already formed that bond in utero. “While you rest, I will go see if your mamá needs any help. I will bring your lunch up so you do not have to go downstairs.”
“Thanks, Cassie. I don’t want to leave them alone yet, even though I have monitors and receivers all over the house, thanks to Grant.”
Cassie nodded. “This is why I am here.”
“Are they still sleeping?” Adam whispered as he entered the room and checked on the babies before removing his shoes and joining Kitty in the bed. His hand rested just below her breasts, and he placed a kiss on her cheek.
Their display of intimacy made Cassie uncomfortable. “I will return with lunch in a little while.” Is that what Lucas wanted her to do? Let him cuddle her like that? Clearly, Adam had no expectation of having sex. He only wanted to be close to his wife.
“Thanks, Cassie,” Kitty said, although she only had eyes for her husband.
Cassie made her exit quickly, hearing Kitty remark on the way out, “Oh, Adam, did you notice how Paxton has his arm around Kate?”
Tears stung Cassie’s eyes. What a beautiful life Kitty had.
Would Cassie have been a good mother if she had been blessed with a traditional marriage? Memories of the evil on Pedro’s face as he raped her assured her she had dodged a bullet, as Americans said. At least she had learned his true nature before she had been saddled to him in marriage.
Beside me and apart from me…
asking that you be no other than yourself.
Oh, Lucas.
Memories of the vows they had exchanged last month haunted her nights and now even her days. Could she ever open up to him? Would he accept her as she was if he knew of her past?
She shook her head. No. He must never know the truth about her. She needed to remain cold and elusive to keep him at a distance—to protect him more than herself.
* * *
Luke rang the doorbell. Seemed strange that this was no longer Marc’s house, but his friend was right to leave here. He’d never been happy in this house. Adam and Karla would be able to turn it into a real home with their new babies.
The door opened, and he was surprised to find Cassie on the other side.
“Hey, darlin’. How’ve you been?”
The familiar wariness crossed her features. He kept hoping she’d come to accept him without being so cautious all the time, but with how little they saw each other, he didn’t see how he could ever win her over.
“Fine. Please come in.”
“Let me just run to the truck and get what I came to deliver.”
“Do you need any help?”
“Maybe. Do you have a minute?”
She nodded and followed him. “Thank you for taking care of my babies, Lucas. How are they adjusting?”
“They love it out in my fields. Lots of room to roam around and graze. I take them into the barn at night, of course.” He didn’t want her to think they were at the mercy of any predators.
“I am sure they are happy there. They adapted quickly when I moved them to the mountain, too. As long as they are together, they are happy.”
If only their momma could adapt as well to being around him. He lowered the tailgate and pulled the heavy blanket on the bed of the truck toward him. On it laid the unique crib he’d just finished last night covered by a tarp and bungee cords. He left the tarp over it, not wanting to reveal anything yet.
“You tell me if it’s too heavy, now.” He lifted the heavier end and Cassie grabbed the other. He’d made this quickly in a primitive style, but knew they needed it sooner rather than later. Already he was working on a special rocking chair that would accommodate the new momma and all three of her babies at once. He’d try to finish working on that over the next few weeks, though.
They maneuvered the bed inside the foyer and set it down.
“Kitty is taking a nap right now. I will be taking her lunch soon, so you can show this to her then. Would you like something to eat?”
“Sounds great. I haven’t had a bite since five this morning.”
He followed her and sat at the bar behind the stove island. Watching Cassie move around the kitchen, pulling leftovers out of the fridge reminded him of their time at her cabin.
Jeezus, I’ve missed her.
“Where’s Mrs. Paxton?”
“Oh, she wanted to shop for a few more things. The early births caught us all by surprise.”
“I’ll bet.”
They discussed the alpacas and horses and the upcoming gallery exhibit preparation before they finished eating in companionable silence.
After lunch, he helped her carry two trays up to the bedroom for Karla and Adam. They caught the two of them cuddled in bed. He hoped the couple knew how lucky they were to have each other.
Nobody's Dream (Rescue Me Saga #6) Page 25