“Shouldn’t we turn on some music?”
“Not yet. I need to walk you through the basic positions and steps first.” Her breathing grew more ragged. Couldn’t be their exertions because they hadn’t really started. Maybe she was as turned on as he was. He grinned as she took his left hand in her right one. Luke wasn’t sure whose palms were sweatier.
“Now, we hold our elbows out and open. If we were on a dance floor, this would keep others from intruding into our space.”
“Can’t have that.” Nope. He didn’t want any interference right now. When her breathing became labored and she seemed to be fighting to keep her composure, he prompted, “What next, darlin’?”
“Um, I place my hand across your shoulders.” She reached up with her free hand. “You are taller than…” She broke off, and he wondered who else she’d danced the tango with then didn’t want to think about that anymore. This was between them.
“The man ultimately leads the lady in the dance, but let me show you the three options you have for where your legs can go.”
She spent several tries without success to move his legs in the right direction before grabbing him by the hips in frustration. “No, sway. More like this.” She maneuvered him so that his hips did as she wanted before she released him with an expression of horror on her face.
When she pulled away, he let her go.
* * *
What was I thinking?
Cassie drew in a few labored breaths as she tried to regain her composure. Why did she propose the tango? The dance was too suggestive. Should she continue?
Trust him.
I am trying! But this is too hard!
“If you want to take a break, we can try again later. Sorry I’m two left feet here, but I’ve never tried to dance anything this precise before.”
The disappointment on his face charmed her even more. He did want to learn. She would not stop now.
“No, let us continue.” She walked into his embrace again, and they adjusted their bodies. He was so much taller than her ballroom dancing classmate at Columbia. She described what she wanted him to do with his leg, moving it to the outside of hers as he guided her in the dance.
“That was perfect, Luke!”
“Thanks, darlin’. I have a patient teacher.”
Luke was the patient one. She continued to start and stop, fighting down the panic that arose at certain movements. The tango hadn’t been a part of what led to the attack, and yet she’d not allowed herself to express her love of dance since that night, not even to dance with her husband at their own wedding celebration.
I want my freedom back.
Time passed as they continued to move through the dance steps. Luke was a fast learner, and soon they were moving around the space between the sofa and mantel with ease. “Now let’s take it from the beginning with you leading me.”
He executed the first step perfectly. “Excellent! Let your leg guide mine, like so.”
As he gained confidence in his steps, she embellished her movements with a few ocho moves, carving the figure eight in a teasing manner before him on the floor. Undeterred, he responded perfectly to her steps. When Luke’s leg stepped out, blocking her as she had taught him to do, she instinctively slid hers slowly over his thigh as she enticed him with a dip of her upper body.
Free your spirit.
He blocked her leg again and she smiled, pulling away to trace another figure eight on the floor with the toe of her shoe.
“Damn, that’s hot.”
Cassie froze. Before she could escape his arms, Luke pulled her closer and forced her to gaze into his eyes. The pounding in her chest nearly drowned out his words.
“I’m not gonna hurt you, Sweet Pea. You’re safe. We’re just dancing.”
Trust him.
“I know.” Her voice came out in a whisper.
“You’re doing great, baby girl. Don’t stop now. I’m just getting the hang of it.” She did not wish to disappoint him. “Your passion for dance and movement is obvious.”
“It has been so long since I have expressed myself this way. I believed for so long that my dancing led to…” Why had she brought up that night?
Because she had been triggered yet again. Why could she not keep the past in the past?
A sadness came over his face, and he pulled her close against his chest. “Stop worrying about it, darlin’. We took care of all three of them, remember? You’re safe here with me in our home.”
“I know. What I do not know is why thoughts of that night in the cantina keep interrupting my thoughts.”
“Sweet Pea, those bad memories will fade over time. Try to rid yourself of any guilt over that shit popping into your head, though. That night was a watershed moment in your life. Those thoughts are going to come up, especially now that you’re introducing activities into your life you had walled off after the rape—like dancing. By feeling guilt about it, you’re just giving them power over you again.”
She relaxed. Perhaps he was right. “How did you become so smart?”
She thought he might be flippant because of his modesty, but he surprised her. “I read a lot of how-to books on grieving and letting go of the hurts from the past. That piece of advice stuck in my head while I was trying to find a way to do the same over my own watershed moment.” He rubbed her cheek with his thumb. “I can tell you it takes a while to recognize that guilt in your thoughts, but I’ll try and help point it out if I know what you’re thinking. Just know this. Any time you want to dance, you just cut loose. I’m ready whenever you want—or here to encourage you to dance alone or with the animals if you’d like.”
She smiled as another weight was taken off her shoulders. “I do sometimes dance with O’Keeffe and the alpacas.”
“I’d like to see that sometime.”
“O’Keeffe really gets into it. Her head and tail move along with me as she lets the music sink into her bones, too. Now shall we continue with this dance, cowboy?”
“Thought you’d never ask, my lady. I think I’m starting to catch on. Maybe later you can show me one of your native dances, too.”
Was she ready to dance the marinera and huayno again?
With Luke? Yes. “I would like that.”
“Let us try with music this time.” She retrieved her smartphone and cued up a song from her playlist.
Luke grew serious as he took her into his arms again. He placed his hand perfectly across her upper back. Even in her heels, he towered over her but she did not fear him.
Keeping their gazes locked, she allowed Luke’s legs and lower body to guide her in several steps before she became playful and surprised him with some of the lady steps intended to express her sensuality. She closed her eyes as the music filled an emptiness deep inside her.
Cassie danced with abandon as Luke guided her. His arms and hands cradled her at times and let her go at others. But she always returned to his embrace. A longing built up inside her. She did not know what it meant until she recognized the feelings as arousal.
Asking for anything remotely sexual scared her to death. But as terrifying as it seemed, she wanted to experience what it was like to make love with this man. Her heart knew she could trust him. Actually, her mind did, too.
She came to a standstill and stared into his eyes. I can do this. “Will you kiss me, Luke? Like a man kisses his wife?”
He tucked his finger under her chin and stared into her eyes. “You want to tell me how you think a husband kisses his wife that’s different than how your husband’s been kissing you already?”
“Oh, you have been a very good kisser. I know you hold back, though. I want you to kiss me more deeply. With…your tongue. As if we were…not going to stop with a kiss.” Would the invasion of his tongue trigger her? She needed to find out.
He framed her face and she thought he was about to kiss her, but he did not. “Some of my friends use code words and gestures to indicate when they want to slow down or stop certain activities.” He mus
t have sensed her fear.
“Safewords like pickle or red?”
He nodded and grinned. “You remember our earlier talks.”
“Yes.”
Luke smiled. “You can also use yellow to tell me to slow down. But since I’ll have your mouth otherwise occupied, we need a gesture. How about you pinch my side if you need to stop?”
“Okay.” Was that her voice sounding so breathless?
“Now, darlin’, be warned that I’m going to kiss your socks off until you use that signal.”
Without giving her time to prepare, he lowered his mouth to hers and wrapped his arm around her back to keep her from escaping. The pressure of the embrace wasn’t tight enough to make her feel trapped, so she forced the initial panic back down.
This is Luke. He would never hurt me.
He placed nibbling kisses at the corners of her mouth and pulled playfully on her lower lip before tracing the crease between her lips. Involuntarily, she opened for him, and his tongue entered her mouth. She moaned, and he pulled back to tease her lips again. Realizing she was more excited than panicked, she tentatively stroked his lower lip with her own tongue. His arm tightened around her as he drew her closer.
More. I want more.
I need more!
Her fingers entwined in the hair at the nape of his neck, and she gave herself to him. His free hand reached between them, accidentally brushing the side of her breast briefly before pulling away again. She had placed them on her list of limits. Oddly, his innocent touch did not cause revulsion as did the hands of those monsters from her past.
This was Luke.
No comparison.
In his arms, she felt cherished. Loved. Safe.
Stop analyzing everything, Cassie. Stay in the moment. Let yourself go!
Later she would tell him she liked him touching her breast. Or perhaps she should show him.
As he continued to kiss her, his hand stroked her back through her shirt. Another moan escaped her, this time one of passion. Her nipples hardened. She wanted him to touch her there—but could not ask.
She worried what he would do when she finally shoved him away, as she undoubtedly would. Not yet, though.
Kiss him back.
Emboldened, she thrust her tongue into his mouth and playfully tangoed with his tongue. Her sex throbbed. She wanted…
What was she doing? Her traitorous body was responding faster than she was ready. She pushed him away. His breathing sounded as if he had just chased down one of his horses. Her breathing was equally fast.
He held his hands at his sides in a show that he would not touch her again unless she asked him to. “You’re in charge, Sweet Pea.”
Tears formed in her eyes. “I am sor—” Stop apologizing.
“Darlin’, that was the hottest kiss we’ve shared yet. I sure as hell am not one bit sorry.” Her cheeks flamed hot. “Baby steps, darlin’. Okay, nothing babyish about the way you kiss. Hot damn, Sweet Pea.”
“You are making me blush.”
“Then I guess my work here is done.” He pivoted and headed for the bedroom door. “If you’ll excuse me, I need a shower.”
How could he think about a shower at a time like this? Her body screamed for more, even though her mind tried to silence its cravings.
No, he was right. Distance. Space. If they continued like this …
The image of hers and Luke’s legs entangled in the sheets flashed across her mind. She could not wait until they went to bed together tonight.
All this because of a dance?
And a kiss.
But oh, what a kiss!
I did not want to stop.
Cassie followed him toward the bedroom. Why wait until tonight? Her body had burst into flames and melted away most of the ice she had encased herself in all these years. Enough baby steps.
I am ready to take a giant leap.
Chapter Thirty-One
Luke was cocky enough to think he could have talked her out of her fears, but backed off even though she hadn’t used the safe gesture he’d given her to use. When he saw the fear in her eyes, he needed to give her some space.
He’d learned when to back off while working with his horses. This all started outside with O’Keeffe, who unleashed something inside Cassie.
Something that Luke’s body responded to, heating him to the melting point. Nothing was going to cool him off except a shower. An extremely cold one. He stripped off his shirt and sat on the bed to remove his boots and socks.
While she’d been moved to learn O’Keeffe had been sacked out, it was the second painting that probably spoke best to her. Free. She had danced with a passion and abandon he knew simmered beneath the surface.
Shucking his jeans, he thanked God she’d finally let herself experience a sense of freedom. A niggling thought crossed his mind. Would Cassie’s increasing freedom take her away from him the way Maggie’s did? He’d encouraged Maggie to express herself, too, and she’d spent less and less time with him those last few months they were together. The trip to Colorado to track down her rare plant had been the first time they’d shared anything in a long time.
He shuddered despite the heat in the room. God help him if anything ever happened to take Cassie away. But seeing the joy on her face today, like a flower blooming in the desert, he wouldn’t do anything to hold her back.
But he did plan to work on improving his piss-poor tracking abilities. Cassie had made it easy for him to find her, but what if he’d had to rely only on the physical clues she’d left? He removed the leather wristband and laid it on the nightstand. What if he had to find someone who didn’t know to leave him clues? He couldn’t rely on Pic in every situation. But he did spend a fair amount of time today trying to improve the horse’s tracking abilities for future SAR missions. Luke had signed them both up for a class next month to help.
He entered the bathroom and turned on the water, starting at warm. Inside the shower stall, he lathered his hair and washed away the sweat from his session with Picasso.
He lowered the hot-water temperature and rinsed. A draft came over him when the door opened. Maybe she needed to use the john. He tried not to think about her looking at his naked body, even if only in a silhouette through the opaque shower glass.
When the stall door opened, and she entered, he turned his back toward her and grabbed for the towel hanging over the top of the stall. “What the…?” Luke scrubbed at his face to remove the rest of the suds from his eyes.
“This water is freezing even by my standards!” Cassie reached around him to adjust the faucet and the water soon turned warm.
Did she have no empathy for him at all?
Maybe this was a test of his self-control. He hoped to hell he passed.
Luke groaned and wrapped the now-soaked towel around his waist, tucking it in place before facing her again. Her dark-chocolate eyes were the personification of innocence, but her wet clothes plastered to her body left nothing to the imagination.
She wasn’t wearing a bra.
He drew in a breath and let it out slowly. In her mind, she probably thought her clothing hid her body from him, but he saw more of her than she realized. Forcing his gaze not to linger on her near-bare breasts, he tried to rein in his libido. Too late. He was growing harder by the minute. His self-control had already been stretched to the breaking point these past few weeks. Did she have no clue what being in here did to him?
“Cassie, you sure this is where you belong?”
He had to keep reminding himself that, for all intents and purposes, his wife was a virgin. A very sensual, passionate one, but he needed to take this slow and easy.
She blinked then smiled enigmatically. “I am with my husband. Yes, this is where I belong.” She reached out and picked up the bar of soap from the dish. “You are always taking care of me. Now I wish to bathe you and see to your…needs. Let me start with your back.”
His needs?
She wants to bathe you, Denton. That’s it. Don’t
get your hopes up along with your cock.
Clearly, the girl had no clue what she did to him. Expelling a lungful of air, he turned around and soon felt her hands soaping every inch of his back.
She kneaded the tenseness out of his shoulders and continued to work her way down his back. Damned if he didn’t feel himself shedding some of the rigid tension he’d held on to for so long. He closed his eyes. “Your hands are magic, darlin’.”
“You are so hard.”
His eyes opened. “What’s that?” No way she could see his cock.
“All of your wood chopping and working with the horses has made your muscles as hard as marble.”
Oh, those muscles!
“I hated having to spend time in the weight room in college, so I much prefer to stay in shape with hard work. I’ll try to stay hard for you as long as I can, Sweet Pea.” He grinned, unable to resist the double meaning of his words.
“I am glad you are not vain about your body or good looks.”
She thought he was good looking, too? Hot damn!
“Now let me wash your front.”
Knowing she couldn’t see anything with the towel firmly in place, he turned. Her gaze moved lower almost immediately. So, she was curious. Good. His erect cock jutted against the towel giving her an idea at least of the effect she had on him. Would she be triggered by his erection? Her only point of reference had been when three cocks had been used as weapons against her body. He fisted his hand.
Don’t let thoughts of those fucking bastards ruin this moment.
Hoping to strike a non-threatening pose, he moved his hands to behind his head and laced his fingers. “I’m all yours, darlin’.”
Cassie nodded, meeting his gaze again. Suddenly she smiled. “Yes, you are.”
He wasn’t sure how she meant it, but when she lathered her hands again and ran them over his chest and pecs, his mind went blank. Her reference to marble made him think she might be picturing herself sculpting his body, which might make him less of a threat.
Whatever she needed to do in order to touch him like this, he didn’t care.
She trailed her hands down to his abdomen, raising goose bumps along her path. Jeezus, his abs tensed and his cock became harder.
Nobody's Dream (Rescue Me Saga #6) Page 61