Sadie Silver Dollar said diplomatically, “For what it’s worth, Darcie, ma’am, you know now, so everything is hunky-dory and peachy keen with tutti-frutti on top!”
“It’s Darla, Sadie,” Pete whispered. “The commander’s name is Darla.”
“Besides,” Lenny said, “Pete’s dead. Gone. Pushing up flowers and strumming harps with the angel coins. He’s Wheatman now!”
Pete said under his breath, “Not now, Lenny, okay?”
Darla narrowed her eye on Pete, “What’s the steely saying?”
“Deirdre didn’t tell you?” Pete said.
“I haven’t spoken to her since Operation Jackpot. Our part in it isn’t over yet. The CBS has been on lockdown since Kipp and I returned from The Six’s bullion base. No messages in or out.”
Pete cleared his throat and shuffled his rim in the dirt. “Chief Iron Tail and Deirdre want us to remain undercover…”
“What?!” Darla said.
Kipp said, “That’s news to me too, Pete. I thought the deal was once Operation Jackpot was over you could come back. What gives?”
“They said Sadie, Lenny, and I are more valuable as the Masked Mintage than as Raiders.”
“But…but,” Darla spluttered, “I thought…I thought you’d be joining us at the Grand Canyon base.”
“I could probably slip in now and then,” Pete mumbled. “Like today.”
Darla harrumphed and turned her back to the others. She pretended to interest herself in one of the maps carved onto the cave’s walls to hide her brimming eye.
Sadie Silver Dollar rolled over to Darla, and Ernie Eagle put a comforting wing around the little dime’s shoulder.
“Don’t worry, Darcie,” Sadie said. “Ernie and I will take care of Paul.”
Lenny sidled up to Darla on the other side. “That’s right, Commander. Steelman, The Silver Soarer, and The Bald Brawler have Wheatman’s back!”
Darla looked at the two masked coins, the googly eyed Sadie and the grinning steely, considered their reassuring words, and sighed.
Pete said, “How much longer do you think you’ll be in lockdown here?”
“Not much longer, I suspect,” Kipp answered.
“And no one on the base but you and Darla knows what really happened in Operation Jackpot?”
Darla spun to face him. “Of course not,” she said, insulted. “I can keep a secret as well as anyone.”
“I didn’t mean… And Damian?”
Kipp said, “The cocksure coin has been biting at the bit to contact The Six ever since he learned that Reno was a bust. He fell for the ruse hook, line, and stinker that he is, and believes that The Four has been captured. He acted shocked and angry at the news, of course, but I’ve noticed more bounce and swagger in his bucking since he learned of the disaster. He’s awaiting his congratulations and promotion.”
“Where is he now anyway?” Pete asked.
“Probably at the creek trying to reach The Six. We have sentries posted all along the river. He’s been warned away a few times already. Darla’s decree of seven days of mourning will expire soon, but I suspect Damian won’t be hanging around until then.”
“Well, we had better be going,” Pete said. “We don’t want to chance Damian catching sight of us.”
“What brought you here anyway?” Darla asked coolly. “You said it was important that you see me.”
“It was,” Pete answered. “Is.”
“Well, I’m waiting.”
“That’s it.”
“That’s what?”
“Important that I saw you,” he replied shyly.
Exasperated, Darla said, “I think you lost more than a wheat stalk in that last operation, because you aren’t making any sense.”
“It’s growing back. See…?” Pete turned and showed Darla his backside and its regenerating wheat stalk.
Sadie said, “Excuse me, Darcie dear, but as the only adult in this room today, let me translate for you. Paul came to see you because seeing you is important to him. He loves you, you dingbat dime. Sheesh.”
Darla looked at Pete and smiled. “You do?”
“Maybe,” Pete mumbled.
“Maybe?”
“I’ve never been in love, so I’m not sure what it feels like. I think about you all the time. I worry about you. And I miss you a lot.”
Kipp chuckled and turned to Sadie. “Is that love, Sadie?”
“Close enough,” she answered.
Darla rolled teary-eyed over to Pete and planted a big smooch on his lips. “Close enough, penny.”
“Stud!” Lenny exclaimed.
Damian Dime peeked through some foliage along the bank of Havasu Creek, and cursed. He thought for sure he had found a spot that didn’t have one of Darla Dime’s sentries posted there, but he was wrong. He backed silently away, and then headed bucking through a canyon that skirted the perimeter of the Grand Canyon base.
He was dying to speak to The Six and get the inside scoop of what went down in Reno. Those lamebrain coins, Darla and Kipp, had hardly told him anything. They said they were still too disappointed and depressed to talk about it; that they’d brief him after the seven days of mourning had passed.
“What a couple of wimps,” he groused aloud, and then surrendered to the fact that he’d just have to wait until Darla’s stupid edict expired.
His eye on the ground before him, and immersed in his resentment for the two loser coins, he rounded a bend in the canyon and almost walked right into Nicolai Nickel and Dominique Double Eagle.
“Hello, Damian,” Nicolai said, startling the dime.
“Six!” Damian said, skidding to a halt and then backing up to properly bow to his leader. “I didn’t see you, Sir. I’m sorry.”
“A lot on your mind, have you?”
“I was just thinking of how I could contact you, Sir. The base commander here silenced the CBS and instituted a week of mourning. She even posted guards along the creek I usually use to communicate with you, which is why I missed our conference call. You couldn’t have known that, of course, and so I was worried you might have thought I had forgotten.”
“Mourning, you say?”
“Yes, Sir,” Damian said proudly. “You pulled off a great coup, Sir.”
“Thanks to you, Damian.”
“I only wish I could have been there myself, Sir.”
“This Darla Dime and Kipp Quarter didn’t fill you in on what happened?”
“No, Sir. Not yet. They said they’d brief me after the seven days of mourning.”
“Well, you won’t be hearing about it from them.”
Damian started to smile, but then fought it back. Did he dare to think that he was finally being recalled to Coin Castle where he’d be welcomed as a hero and rewarded with a promotion, perhaps even rising to become one of The Six’s top generals?
“Of course, I’d much prefer to hear about the great victory from you,” he said. “I’m sure their version will be rather abridged.”
“Agreed,” Nicolai said. “Your contribution deserves far more than that. Are you ready?”
Damian looked about, a little confused. “Coin patrols come through this gulch now and then, Sir. I don’t think here is the best place for such an epic tale.”
Nicolai grinned. “Ready to leave, Damian. Your work here is done. I see no more advantage in you remaining on this base. A coin of your qualities demands rewarding.”
Damian’s torch tooted and discharged with his excitement. “I-I don’t know what to say, Sir, other than I’m ready when you are!”
Nicolai turned to Dominique and nodded. The double eagle rolled off, spread her splendid golden wings, and circled back around. She picked up Nicolai and Damian, and sped away.
“It’s been so long since I’ve been in the air,” Damian said, unable to contain his excitement.
“My apologies, Damian. I should have done this a long time ago.”
Day had broken, and because Dominique didn’t want to risk the sun’s ray
s giving them away, she kept within the shadows of the canyon’s walls. When they had put a safe distance between them and the bullion base, Dominique cut away, and wings beating, shot towards the main canyon.
Below wound the mighty Colorado river, and just up the way the frothing telltale signs of rapids.
Dominique swung over the river and skimmed along the surface of the water.
“Thrilling, isn’t it?” Nicolai shouted to Damian over the roar of the rapids.
“Yes, Sir,” Damian said, “but aren’t we headed in the wrong direction?”
“A short detour, that’s all. We thought you’d enjoy a last farewell.”
“To tell you the truth, Sir, I won’t miss this nasty river or base one bit. Compared to Coin Castle, it’s a hellhole.”
“I’m afraid you got that backwards, Damian.”
“Sir?”
“The Coin Castle Bullion Base is no more.”
“No more, Sir?”
“Gone! And we have you to thank. They played you for a fool!”
“What? I-I don’t understand!”
“Understand this, you idiotic dime!”
Dominique’s eagle released Damian from its talon, and he plummeted screaming into the foamy rapids.
The tumult of the icy waters swept Damian tumbling head over tails downstream. He spun and gasped, and banged into stone after stone.
At last he exited the rapids and came to rest on the river’s muddy bottom.
Bruised and battered, Damian looked around, amazed that he was still alive. Rolling out of the question, he attempted a buck. It required great effort as the mud tried to slurp him down, but move he did. A few small fish swam past him, but they paid him no heed.
Thrilled that he had survived, Damian laughed in relief and gagged on a mouthful of water. He coughed it out and bucked again.
Progress!
Sure, at this rate it could take days to reach shore, but all he had now was time.
As he bucked, Damian dreamed of revenge. Darla Dime would pay. Kipp Quarter would pay. He would recruit his own coins, and then, yes, oh yes, The Six would pay too!
A maniacal laugh escaped him and he swallowed another gulp of river water. The indignity further fueled his dream of vengeance.
He bucked again.
Yes, little by little, buck by buck. They haven’t seen the last of me! Revenge … retribution … retaliation!
Over and over, buck after buck, Damian drew strength from his dark, shadowy mantra of payback. He’ll show them. He’ll show them all!
A three-foot-long channel catfish swam up from behind the lurching dime. Oblivious to Damian’s dreams, it scooped him up with its fat lips, and swallowed him whole.
26
e pluribus detritus
Porter Penny and Quimby Quarter heard a horrendous rumble.
Covered with garbage, they couldn’t see what produced the sound, but they felt the mountain of rubbish quiver and shake below them. In an instant, the two coins shot straight up into the air. Porter, who wasn’t magnetic, was wafted upwards inside a steel soup can along with hundreds of pounds of scrap metal.
The caterpillar track swung its heavy magnet towards a huge dump truck and dropped its catch crashing into its enormous bed. The truck ground its gears and began its journey to the county recycling center.
“Quimby!” Porter cried, unable to see his pal among the scraps. “Quimby! Are you here?”
“I’m here, Porter. Are you okay?”
“I think so. What happened?”
“I’m not sure, but I think we’re headed for recycling.”
“Recycling? You mean I’m going to be turned into a thumbtack or something?”
“Could be,” Quimby answered.
“But I don’t want to be a thumbtack. I want to be a coin!”
“Not where we’re going, I’m afraid.”
“Aw, man. What rotten luck. Even the dungeon of death would have been better than this.” Porter sighed. “Well, at least we’re going together, Quimby. Maybe we’ll make up the same thumbtack.”
“E pluribus unum to the end, my friend.”
The End of Book 3
(The Amazing Adventures of 4¢ Ned continues in Coinworld: Book Four. You don’t want to miss it!)
Message from the Author
Thank you for reading Book Three of The Amazing Adventures of 4¢ Ned. I hope that you enjoyed it. For the next book in the series, please visit Amazon.com.
I recognize that there are a lot of terrific authors out there yearning for your attention, so I truly appreciate that you gave one of my books a chance. If you liked the book, I hope you’ll consider rating it at Amazon.com. Your opinion could make a huge difference. Thank you very much!
With gratitude and warmest regards,
Benjamin Laskin
Other Novels by Benjamin Laskin
If you are enjoying The Amazing Adventures of 4¢ Ned, then you may want to check out some of Benjamin Laskin’s other fun and inspiring novels.
Novels by Benjamin Laskin
Stormer’s Pass
Say Uncle
The Will
Shooting Eros
Murphy’s Luck
The Amazing Adventures of 4¢ Ned (Coinworld Series)
STORMER’S PASS
If you can’t wait for a hero, you must become one.
The sleepy town of Pinecrest is jolted from its slumbers by two unlikely citizens—star high school quarterback, Max Stormer, and Aidos, an extraordinary girl who has been living unobserved in the surrounding hills.
Aidos opens Max’s eyes to potential he didn’t know he possessed, putting them both on a collision course with the town’s own ambitious plans. The resulting clash draws the astonishment of the entire country, and soon Max finds himself captain of something much bigger than a football team. To save Aidos and his town, Max must lead his team into the contest of their lives. Whether maverick or hero, outlaw or savior, being a champion was never harder.
Stormer’s Pass is an enthralling adventure of two people’s uncommon faith in each other, their friends, and in the miracle-making powers of courage.
SAY UNCLE
Believing in himself was difficult.
Someone else believing in him was deadly.
Five years have passed since the headline-exploding events in Stormer’s Pass. For help in protecting their secrets and very lives, Max and Aidos turn to a lonely laggard named, Guy.
Guy Andrews has spent his 20 years on his back crying uncle. His hope for change arrives in the form of a beguiling young woman who lures him into a world of gorgeous spies and ruthless assassins. Now Guy has to find the elusive “Anonymous Man” before the man’s many enemies find Guy. To do so, Guy must slay the slacker within, draw on wits and courage he didn’t know he possessed, and solve the mystery of his own past before Max and Aidos become its next victims.
Say Uncle is the story of a young man’s enlightening and humorous struggle to find in anonymity his own unique place, and so—say uncle no more.
THE WILL
Putting the will in willpower.
Josh McCain has two years to reinvent himself. Stripped of everything that made life a swanky, booze and babe-filled breeze, Josh embarks on a grueling and often hilarious two-year regimen of self-discipline that targets his mind, body, and spirit.
Along the way, skeptics mock him; his own past taunts him; and saboteurs resolve to stop him. But Josh is determined to complete his “bucket list from hell,” and prove that who he was is not as important as who he can become.
Operating in unfamiliar territory, Josh turns to a cast of quirky characters to aid him on his secret journey; persons he’d have previously shunned. Upbeat and inspiring, The Will is an enthralling story of goofs and grit, of the regenerative power of friendship—and if Josh doesn’t blow it—real love.
SHOOTING EROS
Love’s greatest champion has just become evil’s fiercest foe.
Trained in Heaven by secret s
ages; dismayed on Earth by evil men: a banished cupid commando battles to save both from a loveless oblivion.
In the year 2034, Heaven’s most lethal cupid commando, Captain Cyrus, is exiled to Earth where he is expected to die a quick and unlamented death. Instead, Cyrus sets out to remind both battered and faithless worlds that some things are still worth fighting for.
Two worlds divided; one holy mission. A match made in Heaven; a love forged on Earth. Love is a battlefield.
A genre-bending epic fantasy.
MURPHY’S LUCK
Sometimes rotten luck is better than no luck at all.
Jinxed from birth with astonishing bad luck, Murphy Drummer hasn’t ventured beyond his backyard since he was a little boy. To remedy his loneliness he immersed himself in the mastering of hundreds of hobbies, and in the process developed some amazing abilities.
Now grown up, Murphy must seek a new sanctuary where the world might be safe from his mystifying jinx. Trailing both miracles and mayhem wherever he goes, Murphy stumbles into Joy Daley, a happy-go-lucky optimist who never forgot to thank her lucky stars. The comical, topsy-turvy effects from the collision of Lady Luck and Murphy’s Jinx whimsically upends the lives of everyone in their paths.
At first, Murphy’s victims question who he is; at last, they’ll be questioning who they aren’t. An inspiring and magical romantic comedy of wood-tapping proportions.
THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF 4¢ NED
(COINWORLD SERIES)
Don’t meddle with the metal.
When the world needed a good 4¢ nickel, Ned rimmed up.
Stamped with a one-cent handicap, laughed at and mocked inside every purse or pocket he dropped into, Ned never believed he’d amount to much, not even a cheap cigar.
But when fate places him rim to rim with a sagacious Indian nickel, Ned learns that he has a most surprising destiny. Chief Iron Tail instructs Ned in the ways of wampum, and Ned discovers within his little diameter a million bucks of fantastic. Teaming up with a luckless Lincoln wheat penny, the coins become champions of small change everywhere as they sally forth to save Coinworld from a worthless future.
The Amazing Adventures of 4¢ Ned (Coinworld: Book Three) Page 24