Book Woman

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Book Woman Page 19

by Ivan B


  “I didn’t notice.”

  Josie licked the most unstable part of the ice-cream and a great dollop fell off, Robert expertly caught it before it hit her slacks and tossed it into a waste-paper bin. For a few seconds Josie attacked the rest of the ice-cream with vigour. She then said with absolute certainty.

  “You’re not meant to notice silly, she doesn’t want to spoil our holiday.”

  Robert wondered how far he should push the conversation.

  “Do you know why she’s crying?”

  Josie shook her head and finished the last piece of cone.

  “She’s sad inside, like aunt Joan, only different.”

  Robert pondered the statement and passed her a tissue.

  “Aunt Joan has depression, I don’t think Mary is depressed.”

  Josie watched him.

  “She’s still sad.”

  Robert tickled her ear.

  “But do you like her?.”

  Josie beamed.

  “She’s brill,” she gave a sly smile. “Much better than Fiona, she just wanted me out the way.”

  Robert sighed, Fiona had been his last attempt at a girlfriend, but it had become clear after only a couple of visits that as far as she was concerned children should be unseen and not heard. Josie held her father’s hand.

  “Are you and Mary going out, is that why she’s on holiday with us?”

  He was totally stunned by the question and for a moment didn’t know how to respond, eventually he formed an answer he thought Josie might accept.

  “She’s here as a friend, nothing else, and we are definitely not going out.”

  Josie watched his eyes to see if he looked shifty, if he looked shifty she knew that he was lying. Robert watched her face to see what reaction he got. She wasn’t sure if he was looking shifty and he saw disappointment written all over her face. He didn’t, however, duck the subject, Josie was too precious to him to be fobbed off with a half statement.

  “Look Josie, if your going to go out with someone there has to be something special between you. Something more than friendship, something much deeper.”

  She rolled her eyes.

  “You mean love and kisses.”

  He nodded.

  “Mary and I haven’t got that specialness.”

  Josie sat still for a moment and stated.

  “But the specialness can grow. Aruna’s mummy and daddy didn’t love each other at first, but now they do.”

  Robert tried to understand where she was coming from and then smiled.

  “But they probably had an arranged marriage, their parents chose them for each other.”

  Josie slumped back on the bench.

  “But the specialness can grow can’t it?”

  Robert gazed at a young couple necking on the grass.

  “I think

  so, but only if both people want it to.”

  Josie opened her mouth, but her father stood up.

  “Time we went back, Mary will wonder where we are.”

  Mary heard them come in and put her book on prayer down. She’d brought it in on the off-chance she’d want to read in the bath, she’d now finished it and re-read some chapters she hadn’t understood the first time. She heard Josie call out and when she judged that Josie was outside the bathroom door she responded.

  “Josie, I’m in here, can you come it?”

  Josie peeped round the bathroom door and then entered.

  “Why are you sitting in the bath with no water?”

  She leant forward.

  “Because I’m stuck, can you run to my room and get my sleeping tee-shirt for me?”

  She sped from the bathroom and handed Mary her tee-shirt. Mary sighed, this was the undignified bit.

  “Can you now get your daddy?”

  Josie’s eyes bulged and Mary said quietly, so as not to frighten Josie.

  “I really am stuck Josie, I just can’t get out by myself, I’ve tried.”

  Josie hopped from foot to foot, for some indefinable reason she was reluctant to get her father.

  “Can I help?”

  Mary reached out and held her hand.

  “I’d really love it if you could, but sometimes you just have to have a man.”

  Josie left to find her father and Mary sighed, this was her worst nightmare. Josie found her father standing in the kitchen. He was obviously irritated that Mary hadn’t fulfilled her promise and prepared a snack lunch. Josie ran up to him.

  “Daddy. Mary wants you in the bathroom.”

  Robert looked down at her.

  “Pardon?”

  He noticed that she looked uncertain and slightly worried.

  “She’s stuck in the bath and can’t get out, she says she needs a man.”

  Robert would have burst into laughter if it wasn’t for the concerned look on Josie’s face. He followed her down the corridor and into the bathroom. Mary was sitting in the bath with a Winnie-the-pooh tee-shirt on and her matchstick legs sticking out in front of her. She gave a weak smile.

  “Sorry Robert, I’m stuck.”

  He dragged his eyes away from her dreadfully thin multi-scarred legs.

  “What happened?”

  She pointed to the discarded bath-lifter.

  “Stephen sent me a bath-lifter, but it broke.”

  He picked it up to put it to one-side and then looked at the bottom if it and grinned.

  “Well you were being ambitious, it says ‘max load 40 kilograms.’”

  She nearly lost her temper, she was sitting in a bath feeling highly embarrassed and he was burbling on about max loads. He put it down.

  “He must have sent you the children’s model by mistake, now tell me what to do.”

  She let out a deep breath.

  “There’s only one easy option; do you think you can squat down behind me and lift me straight up – I don’t want you damaging your back, but I will not be able to assist you as there is nothing for me to grab onto.”

  He smiled with a confidence he did not feel. He climbed in the bath and squatted down behind her and tentatively put his arms under her armpits. She immediately blurted out.

  “Not there, grab me round the chest and get a firm grip, I don’t want you dropping me.”

  He recognised fear in her voice and suddenly realised that she was nowhere near as calm as she looked. He put his arms around her and felt her breast pushing against his arms. He thought for a minute and let go.

  “I think it would be easier if I held you the other way round, then you could also hang onto me. He changed position, placed his legs astride hers and squatted down and put his arms around her, she responded and grabbed him in a crushing bear hug. He took a deep breath and lifted; she squealed, but he got her to her feet. He went to let go and she almost screamed.

  “Keep hold.”

  They stood entwined in each other’s arms until he felt her take a deep breath and she said more calmly.

  “I’ll need help getting out, can you help me sit on the side of the bath?”

  The bath was wide enough for them to shuffle round and he carefully lowered her onto the edge of the bath; before they finally let go of one another he realised that she was trembling. She sighed with relief and swung round so that she was sitting with her feet on the floor, Robert hovered in case she slipped off the bath edge. She smiled.

  “I’ll be OK now.”

  Robert climbed out of the bath and she looked him in the eyes and said softly.

  “Thanks for being gentle.”

  He didn’t know what to reply, but Josie replied for him on a different tack.

  “What have you done to your eye?”

  She looked in the mirror and realised that she was developing a small bruise.

  “I banged my eye when I was trying to get out.”

  Robert was unsure what to do next, so Mary smiled.

  “I’ll really be OK now, honest.”

  Robert nodded and left, Josie hung around. Mary reached out and held her hand
.

  “Thank you, Josie.”

  Robert called from the kitchen and Mary rubbed Josie’s hand.

  “You go, I really am OK, honest.”

  Josie suddenly kissed her on the cheek and ran to her father. But in reality Mary was far from OK, she was severely frightened. What if she’d been alone, could she have somehow escaped from the bath or would she have slowly staved to death within yards of a freezer full of gourmet food? Her head told her that she was being irrational and stupid, and that she should have remembered to put her mobile phone in a plastic bag and take it into the bathroom with her; her heart pounded and gave her an entirely different message.

  Robert made some sardine sandwiches for himself and some Marmite sandwiches for Mary and Josie. As Mary had not yet appeared he phoned Stephen and told him, without the gory details, what had happened. Mary still had not appeared when he had finished the phone call, so he passed Josie her sandwiches saying that he’d check on Mary. He walked to her bedroom and tapped on the door; he got no response. He tapped again; still nothing. He carefully pushed open the door and peered inside, Mary was sitting on the bed, still in her tee-shirt with tears streaming down her face, she was visibly trembling. He was at a total loss, as far as he was concerned it had been a trivial incident and yet it seemed to have considerably shaken her. He went and sat next to her.

  “You’re not OK are you?”

  She shook her head.

  “Give me a few minutes.”

  He said gently.

  “What’s the problem?”

  She shook her head again, unable, or unwilling, to answer. She suddenly hissed.

  “I just frightened myself, so just go away.”

  She saw his surprised expression in the mirror and grabbed hold of his arm.

  “Sorry Robert, I didn’t mean that, you were wonderful. Just give me a few minutes, I don’t want Josie to see me like this.”

  She let go and he stood up, reluctant to leave her in this state; he lingered and then, as if she were Josie, he bent over and kissed her on the head before leaving.

  Forty minutes later she appeared in the kitchen looking her usual confident self, one look in her eyes told Robert that it was an act solely to reassure Josie. He still could not comprehend why she was so rattled by the incident, but he was grateful for her attempt to protect Josie from whatever was troubling her. Josie virtually jumped across the kitchen and hugged her.

  “Are you OK now?”

  “Yes thanks Josie, now what’s for lunch?”

  Robert decided on a plan of action.

  “Josie, you’ve finished and if you want to watch some of your film I’m sure Mary won’t mind.”

  Mary sniffed her Marmite sandwich and decided that it must have enough Marmite in it to feed an army.

  “Of course I don’t mind, but we’re leaving for the museum in half an hour.”

  Josie instinctively knew that she was being disposed of and she also had that in-built female instinct that told her that Mary was still upset. But she left for the lounge anyway. Mary opened the sandwich and shuddered at the thickness of the spread.

  “Do you put it on this thick for Josie?”

  He looked surprised.

  “She eats it.”

  Mary tried scraping some off, but the fresh bread crumbled.

  “You just need the merest smidgen or she’ll be sick.”

  Roger went to make a sharp retort, but hung back. Instead he said gently.

  “Would you like something else?”

  “Toast and syrup please, the new toaster works fine.”

  He tried for a joke.

  “Which is more than you can say for the new bath-lifter.”

  She didn’t laugh and he added gently.

  “But you can call on the reserve bath-lifter any time.”

  She half smiled.

  “But it’s so ignominious, not being able to cope and having to rely on others.”

  He turned and popped some toast in the toaster and turned back.

  “I know, why do you think I invited you here?”

  Mary whispered.

  “You’ve got to be joking, you’re a marvellous father.”

  He gave a weak smile.

  “But I don’t know what clothes to buy her, what films I should let her watch, what sleep-overs I should let her go to, if I should really let her wear make-up or a trillion other things.”

  He did his reaching out and holding her hook trick.

  “You know all that by instinct. I’d never have bought her that top and those slacks, but they’re obviously just right. You’re good for her.”

  Mary smiled.

  “And she’s good for me.”

  Robert let go of her when the toaster yielded up it’s burden. He buttered the toast, spread some syrup on it, pushed it over to Mary and said quietly.

  “Still want to come to the museum?”

  She nodded and then stopped eating.

  “Do you really want to come? I get the feeling that you’re not keen on natural history.”

  He shrugged.

  “I don’t want to burden you, you’ve probably had enough for one day.”

  Mary, without warning, gave him her dazzling smile.

  “Being with her takes my mind off my own inadequacies and does wonders for my self-confidence.”

  Robert grinned.

  “Then so be it. What time will you be back?”

  She chewed the toast, it had enough butter to float a battleship and enough syrup to stick an elephant to the floor.

  “Sixish.”

  “Then I’ll have dinner ready, your not cooking today and that’s an order.”

  She gave him a mischievous grin.

  “Oh I do like masterful men.”

  He laughed, uncertain of her demeanour and wondering why on earth her had blurted the truth out to her. She was good for Josie, but was she any good for him?

  Exactly half an hour later Mary and Josie climbed into a taxi. Mary leant forward.

  “Natural History Museum please.”

  The driver nodded.

  “Which entrance luv?”

  “Cromwell road please.”

  She sat back in the seat next to Josie and pulled the seat belt across her towards Josie, who suddenly took it off her and plugged it in the clasp. Josie then put her arm through Mary’s elbow and leaned against her. Mary was almost overwhelmed with emotion, how could anybody walk out on this child?

  The taxi deposited them right between the museum’s twin towers and they went in through the grand entrance. Mary walked her straight into the first huge gallery. Josie stopped dead.

  “Wow! That’s ginormous! What is it?”

  Mary smiled recalling her own wonder when she had first seen this dinosaur skeleton.

  “It’s a Diplodocus.”

  “How old is it?”

  “About 70 million years, that’s seventy thousand thousand years.”

  Mary answered a string of questions and then pointed to the museum’s own description. From then on Josie was enraptured.

  After an hour Mary walked her the short distance to the first café area and sat down.

  “Time for a rest.”

  Josie clearly didn’t want a rest, but she didn’t argue. Mary had a cup of tea and Josie had a small lemonade and a forbidden chocolate bar. She took a huge mouthful and munched. Mary gave her a stern look.

  “Smaller mouthfuls if you don’t mind, your not a Diplodocus.”

  Josie almost choked with laughter, but the next bite was a reasonable size. When she had finished she said casually.

  “Do you like my dad?”

  Mary gave her a sideways look as she sipped her tea.

  “He’s nice.”

  Josie was not satisfied.

  “Just nice, not special?”

  Mary squeezed some more lemon in her tea.

  “I’m sure he’s special to you.”

  Josie looked at her with sad eyes.

  “But
he’s not special to you?”

  Mary thought that Josie was trying to understand her relationship with Josie’s father.

  “He’s been very kind to me and I’m very happy to be on holiday with you, but we are not going out, we’re just friends.”

  Josie nodded as if in understanding.

  “That’s what daddy says.”

  Mary did exactly the same as her father in trying to add clarification.

  “If you’re going out with someone then you’ve got to have a special feeling that makes you want to be with them and no-one else.”

  Josie sighed.

  “Love and kisses.”

  Mary nodded in relief.

  “Exactly.”

  Josie repeated her former statement to her father.

  “But the specialness can grow. Aruna’s mummy and daddy didn’t love each other at first, but they do now.”

  Mary pondered the statement and said quietly.

  “You can’t force it Josie, it’s either there or it isn’t. Aruna’s parents were lucky.”

  Josie again had the innate female instinct that Mary was saying one thing and hoping another. She finished her drink.

  “Well I had head lice and I didn’t know it, maybe people have the specialness inside them and don’t know it.”

  Mary smiled at the absurdity of the connection. Josie gave her a longing look.

  “Can we go and see the whales now?”

  They set off in a hunt for the big blue whale, but not before Mary hired one of the three-wheel buggies that were stored at the edge of the café.

  Mary and Josie arrived back to the smell of cooking and Josie rushed into the kitchen to show her dad her latest acquisition. He looked at the poster of a Diplodocus.

  “You’re soon not going to have any wall left to put posters on my girl.”

  She laughed.

  “Mary says that I can always stick the star chart on the ceiling.”

  He rolled his eyes.

  “Dinner in fifteen minutes.”

  She tripped off to her bedroom and Mary surveyed his cooking. He turned round to the grill.

  “How do you like your steak?”

  “Well done, but not charcoaled.”

  He expertly turned the steak over. She moved behind him and put some plates in the plate-warmer and murmured.

  “Would you mind cutting up one of those steaks before you put it on the plate.”

 

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