Hayden_Four Sons Series

by J. D. Hollyfield

  “I stay because of my brother.”

  “Which brother? Nixon wants nothing to do with this place. Neither does Brock. They won’t judge you if you sold it. And Camden’s here because of you. Because you’re his guardian. No one is holding you here. Let it go. Let your hatred for your father go. Let the hatred for Trevor go. Move on—”

  “I CAN’T MOVE ON! I can’t. And you know what? Yes, I fucking despise Trevor. Maybe even a part of me feels the same way about Nixon. I was the oldest. I endured way more of the bullshit my father put us through. And all anyone can do is pretend Eric Pearson didn’t exist and Trevor is father step-in of the year.”

  Katie takes a calculated step toward me. “I love you. Trevor loves you. Let him help you.”

  I’m ashamed for my reaction, but the liquor takes over. My hands go up and wrap around Katie’s shoulders harder than I should. I begin to shake her. I need the lies she speaks to stop. I need her to understand. I need her to know how it feels inside me. The hole. The anger.

  “Hayden, stop, you’re hurting me!”

  Oh god, what am I doing? I’ve crossed the line. How will she forgive me for this? My eyes begin to sting. The gut wrenching guilt sets in as her sobs break through. Before I snap out of my haze, my hands are ripped off her and I’m tossed into the pool. I fall in, hoping I never come up. I just want to stay in the quietness of the water until there’s no more air left in my lungs.

  Hands are around my waist, and I’m brought to the surface. I start gasping for air, but fight the person holding me for bringing me back up to the surface of the hell I’m living.

  “Get the fuck off me!” I growl.

  “Not until you calm down.” Camden. Fuck. I don’t want him to see me like this.

  My wild eyes search the deck, landing on Katie. God, my beautiful Katie. What have I done? I want to jump out and go to her. Tell her I’m sorry. Beg her to forgive me. Not to leave me. But I know she’s going to. I saw the packed bags earlier today.

  Then my eyes roam to the person consoling her. Trevor. My rage returns, and I’m blinded, unable to stop myself.

  “You know what? Fine. You don’t want to be here, then leave. Fucking leave. Why don’t you have Trevor take you home. Maybe he can fuck you too.”

  The immediate pain in her eyes tears me apart, but the liquor inside me won’t stop.

  “Hayden, chill, man,” Camden says, still trying to keep hold of me. Trevor wraps his arm around Katie, and I erupt. I throw my head back, knocking into Camden’s nose with a crack. He releases me, and I don’t even bother looking to see if he’s okay. I jump out of the pool and run for Trevor.

  “Get the fuck off my property. And take her with you.”

  I don’t get anything else out because Trevor turns around and socks me. My head flies back, and I stumble, almost landing in the pool.

  “You will regret this, son. I suggest you shut that mouth of yours.”

  I bounce back, taking a swing, but he blocks it and takes another hit to my stomach.

  “Trevor, stop!” Katie sobs from behind him.

  “Trevor, your girlfriend wants you to stop—”

  Another hit to the ribs. This time, I bend forward, trying to catch my breath.

  “You mean your girlfriend, you dumb fuck up. You don’t want my help, fine. But I warned you about hurting her. Now, you’re done. Regret is a heavy load to bear, son. I hope you realize that and find a way out of whatever darkness you’re stuck under. And when you do, I hope you still have people around you for support, ‘cause this one’s gonna hurt.”

  “GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OFF MY PROPERTY!” I yell and scream and cuss. I take chairs and toss them with all my might. Trevor cradles my sobbing girlfriend—the only person who’s ever truly loved me—under his arm and walks her off my property and out of my life.

  I woke up the next morning alone, with a busted nose and a bruised ribcage. Katie was gone. It took me some time to put the pieces together. Remember the things I said. I made an effort to reach out to her, but she wasn’t having it. She went back home, and that was that. The only time in my entire life I felt alive, loved, was gone.

  That was the last time I spoke to Katie. She did a great job of dodging me. It seemed Cam kept in contact with her, though. That’s how I knew Lucy went to visit her shortly after instead of her returning here. I figured I had something to do with that since I knew Katie loved the beach and the sun.

  I lost everything because I couldn’t let something that had nothing to do with me go. It was then I knew I had nothing else to lose. So, I shut down and gave everyone the Hayden they expected. Just as Katie once described me: the big, bad, and wild Pearson son.

  I spent the last three months running Four Fathers just like my father, the big bad wolf. I ran with groups older than me. Lost myself in drugs and partying. I spent more money on materialistic things I never even opened the boxes to than some spend in their lifetime. I just didn’t give a fuck.

  Because that’s who I was.

  That’s who I am.

  Chapter Five

  Katie

  “Oh my god, yes! I remember! And you were trying to make out with Jimmy Wallace but ended up getting sick and barfing all over his Camaro.” Lucy and I both burst out laughing at the college memory. Lucy was a sophomore, and I was a freshman. We met at one of the school keggers and instantly hit it off.

  “Oh, so our wedding and puking in the limo wasn’t the first time you destroyed a vehicle?” Trevor pokes, and Lucy laughs harder.

  “Hey! I apologized for that like a million times over! It’s not my fault your guests know how to party and overserved me.”

  I know I have a smile on my face, because it was true. Those Pearson boys sure knew how to get down. But it’s one Pearson in particular my mind suddenly goes to.

  “May I have this dance?”

  I turn to see Hayden, looking so damn handsome in his suit. He’s such a sight. I should be used to seeing him in suits now, but tonight, he takes my breath away. “I believe I can spare a dance for you.”

  He takes my hand and brings me out onto the small, lit dancefloor. Trevor and Lucy transformed the private beach into a beautiful scene from A Midsummer Night’s Dream. The full moon shines bright in the perfect night sky, along with the lights draping in waves above us. The quartet plays a slow melody as Hayden spins me in the middle of the floor.

  “This is going to be us one day, you know,” he says, bringing our bodies close together. His words stun me. It’s only been a few weeks, and I know we’re moving fast. The way I feel for him scares me. It’s so powerful, sometimes when I look at him, I fear he’s not real. There’s no doubt he doesn’t feel the same. The words he confesses are strong with meaning, I fight not to cry. He’s incredibly intense. Like a force I have no chance of running from even if I try. I’m in love with him, and it’s so deep, it almost hurts. “Are you going to say something or let me suffer?”

  “What makes you think you want to marry a girl like me?” I try to coat my answer, hoping he doesn’t feel the erratic beat of my heart.

  He spins me again, and I laugh when he dips me, placing a kiss to my lips. He brings me up and answers, “Because it’s just my destiny to. You’re the one. You know it, I know it. My heart is home with you.”

  He smiles down at me as he wipes the tear that’s fallen down my cheek.

  “I love you, Katie. You’re my angel. My life. And whether you like it or not, one day, you will be my—”

  “What the fuck, enough dancing!” Hayden’s brother interrupts our moment. Before he finishes his sentence, we turn to Brock. “Dude, let’s go. It’s time for shots. Lots of shots…”

  “Well, if I would have known the ice sculptures were going to turn into shot luges, I may have thought twice about ordering them,” Trevor chimes in, bringing me back to the present. I never answered Hayden’s question that night. We were indeed pulled off the dancefloor and the shot competition began. I’m not even sure why I was the only one
called out for puking when I know for a fact Brock vomited all over the gift table and blamed it on Trevor’s son.

  “I promise not to make a habit of it. Your Maserati is safe from me tonight.” I wink and take a huge gulp, finishing off my fourth martini. “So, what’s on the agenda while I’m here? No kinky sex. I can tell when you two get kinky. Luce over here walks funny.”

  “Katie!” Lucy laughs, hitting me with her napkin.

  “What? It’s true! And then you two spend the whole next day with your little inside jokes. Daddy this, babysitter that…for real…”

  Trevor picks up his hand to flag down the waiter while Lucy and I bust out laughing harder. “Okay, I’ll stop. Don’t make us go home. We’ll be good. I promise,” I drunkenly plead.

  Trevor eyes his wife, trying to feel her out. He’s been this way ever since the incident. What Jaxson Wheeler did not only took a toll on Lucy, but Trevor too. Her depression got worse. His counting almost destroyed them. But I guess love just has a way of holding you together until you’re ready to be okay. Ughhh love. I hate that word. I hate hearing it. Thinking it. Still feeling it.

  “You okay there?”

  I look to Trevor. “Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “You just looked like you went somewhere again.”

  I don’t want to admit it, but my wounds still bleed at the broken heart Hayden left me with. There are still times when I find myself in tears at the way we ended things. How he didn’t care enough to fight for us. He let me walk out. But in the end, I only blame myself. I knew from the beginning I shouldn’t have stayed. But I did. And he ended up ruining us just as I predicted.

  “Nope, all good. One stop. Let’s go to Clybourne’s for a quick dance, then you can take your wifey home and do nasty things to her while I raid your fridge and watch one of your three thousand movie channels.”

  Trevor smiles and looks at his wife. “Please, Daddy? I won’t break curfew…” Lucy leans in closer and lowers her voice, but since she’s drunk, she’s still loud enough for half the restaurant to hear. “Or maybe I will, and you’ll have to spank me.”

  The old woman behind us gasps in horror as I choke on my sip of water. Trevor pulls out his wallet and throws an impressive wad of cash on the table without even seeing the bill. He abruptly stands, pulling Lucy up with him. “One dance, then this ass is mine,” he says, slapping Lucy’s ass. She squeals in delight and grabs my hand to walk toward the exit of the restaurant.

  “Trevor, again, thank you. That meal was amazing.”

  “Anything for my girls.”

  Obnoxious giggling has us pulling our attention to the couple walking in.

  “I can just eat you up.”

  I hear the words, and they register before the voice does. I look up, and my eyes collide with his.

  “God, you’re beautiful. I feel like I can’t say that enough.” Nip after nip. Lick after lick, Hayden kisses every part of my skin. My back arches off his feathered comforter when his warm mouth covers my breast. “I just can’t stop. I’m going to eat you all up.”

  I start to laugh. “I didn’t know you were into that kind of kinky shit, Mr. Pearson. Sex, bondage, and flesh eating?”

  His teeth wrap around my nipple, and he bites down, sending my head back. “I would be if it meant being closer to you. That’s how bad I need you. You’re mine, you know that, right? Every single fucking part of you.” He sucks hard, then releases me and works his way to my other breast. “Anyone else ever thinks of having what’s mine, I’ll kill ‘em.”

  I laugh again at his fierce words. Hayden loves to come across so scary, but inside, he’s just a big cuddly bear. “I think I can handle that.”

  “Good. Now, I’m going to need to fuck you hard. Then sweet. Then hard as fuck again. Hold on tight, baby…”

  He’s still staring at me when I come to from the past. His eyes are dark and intense. Lucy puts her arm around me for comfort as Trevor steps forward, becoming a blockade between us.

  “Well, look who the cat dragged in,” Hayden says, his arm around a tall blonde, fake from head to toe.

  “Hayden,” Trevor addresses him, but says no more. I know he’s on alert for my sake.

  Hayden stares him down, and if looks could kill… It tells me nothing has changed in the last three months. My heart hurts knowing he hasn’t let go. It’s evident in his stiff posture, and the way he’s starting to grip his floozy date too hard.

  “Trevor, didn’t take you for a sharer, but more the merrier, I suppose.”

  Lucy takes a step toward him. “Screw off, Hayden,” she snaps, but Trevor throws his hand out to stop her.

  He just laughs back. “Hard pass, Luce. I’m not into group sharing, unlike your husband, I see.” He pulls his eyes away from her to me. They’re sharp and cold. I inhale a deep breath of air at the way he’s looking at me. My body reacts to him being so close. As if no time has passed. I hate him and love him just the same. The alcohol isn’t to blame for the temperature rising in my body. The tingles of remembering his hands on me. His mouth—once so sweet and loving, now trying and succeeding at being hurtful.

  “Katie,” he says my name, but it’s not sweet or endearing. There’s no sense of longing in his tone. His intentions are to be cruel. I don’t respond to him. Because I can’t. My throat is locked. I’ve tried to prepare for this day. When we would see one another again. I dreamt he would fall to his knees, begging for forgiveness, and I would accept. All the pain and hurt would dissipate and we would have the life he promised us.

  It’s what he’s doing now I feared most. Rejection. But part of me expected this. This is who he is—who he wants the world to see. I shouldn’t expect him to treat me any different, because I am no different to him. He proved that three months ago when he threw me away.

  “We were just leaving. Have a good meal,” Trevor says, surprisingly calm. He raises his arm for us ladies to walk past them. Lucy abides and starts to walk, grabbing my hand and tugging me with her. I’m thankful, because my legs wouldn’t move any other way. We pass, and the universal gods wouldn’t have it otherwise. Our shoulders brush against one another, and the feeling is so light, warmth rushes down to my feet, tickling every nerve ending in my body. My legs threaten to buckle, but two strong hands wrap around me.

  “Get your hands off her, asshole,” Lucy hisses.

  My head lifts just in time to catch the searing gaze of his steel blue eyes. He doesn’t need to say anything. He can see he still has that control over me. He always has. Since the first day we met. Our first kiss. The first time we made love. When he told me he loved me and begged me never to leave him.

  Our connection is quickly broken when Lucy pulls me away. Sadly, he lets me go. I hear Trevor say goodnight, and we stumble out of the restaurant.

  I take two steps, turn to my right, and bend over, throwing up my meal. As I lift my head to a set of worried eyes, I throw on my fake smile, and say, “At least it wasn’t in the Maserati.”

  Chapter Six

  Hayden

  I don’t even feel my feet anymore. I know they’re hitting pavement, but I’ve been running for so long, my legs have gone completely numb. I know I should stop, but my brain won’t let me. I need to keep going until I get the image of her out of my head.

  She looked flawless. Perfect. Sad. Not mine anymore.

  My legs work faster, taking the corner of the park to the beachfront path. The sun is hours from coming up, but I know the path like the back of my hands. I could run this blindfolded.

  Seeing her with Trevor cut me. A reminder of who she chose. It wasn’t me. She chose to defend him and leave. She left with him. I may have overdone it, but she was supposed to be on my side. She was my girl. My life. I relay the things she said to me the night I kicked her out. All the hurtful, yet truthful things about my father. She was right. With all of them. And maybe I just didn’t want to accept them.

  Maybe, deep down, I did loathe Nixon for having something I wish I had
. He had someone in his life who genuinely cared about him, whereas I had a man whose only concern was grooming me to be his prodigy. I didn’t plan on touching Four Fathers. I wanted to leave Tampa and never look back. He knew that. So he made sure even after death he still had total control over me.

  If he knew what a backstabbing friend Trevor was, I wonder if he would have wanted his shares to go to him. Knowing my father, his only motto would have been to destroy. No one crossed the great Eric Pearson. Maybe that’s the reason. It’s the Pearson blood that runs through me, that refuses to let this die.

  I should have exposed Trevor last night at the restaurant. Humiliated him in one of Tampa’s most elite restaurants. I’m sure half the customers in there were clients or colleagues of some sort. But I didn’t expect to see her.

  Mine.

  I dig my feet into the sand and push myself harder than I ever have. The morning dew allows me to dig deep and push off hard with each pounding stride. I can already tell it’s going to be hot, with the early morning thickness in the air.

  The way she looked at me wasn’t any less painful than a knife being shoved deep into my chest. Angry, sad. I wanted to grab her and throw her into my arms. But the quick glimpse she took at the nobody on my arm ruined it. She shut down and that look that secretly asked me to make it better disappeared.

  We never sat down for dinner.

  I went to the bar and ordered two shots of scotch. Fed one to my date and one to myself, then I put her in a cab and left. I drove to the old house that still sits empty because I can’t bring myself to accept an offer and killed myself some more by sitting by the pool rehashing all the good and bad memories.

  A part of me always thought Katie would come back. She promised she’d never leave me. And she was a woman who kept her promises. But time passed, and without contact, the hardness in me grew. She fucking lied. Because she sure as hell left me.