by Sky Corgan
When I looked up, both Marcus and Tammy were staring at me. Instantly, I cowered, feeling embarrassed about my gushing, though I wasn't sure why. It was the truth. Perhaps I had made them feel guilty, or more so Tammy, who was well aware of Dominick's generous nature, though she lacked the sense of obligation to pay him back for it.
“But he's not your family,” she said finally, and that was the end of the conversation.
We spent the rest of the meal in awkward silence, as if my words had stirred up some strange discomfort between us. Tammy was probably getting the idea now that I didn't really want to move, though I would never say it to her face. It was obvious that me moving back in with them meant a lot to her.
The silence was suffocating. I felt like there was much left unsaid, that I should explain myself, that there was no better time to tell them the truth, when they were probably already questioning why I was so defensive about Dominick. It would have been easy just to blurt it out, but the disappointed look on Tammy's face was enough to keep my mouth shut.
The bill came, Marcus paid it, we left the restaurant, and I lost my opportunity. The car ride back to Dominick's condo was equally quiet, but it felt like the moment was past. Everyone was tired from a long day of walking through gargantuan houses and debating over which one was the best choice.
They dropped me off in front of the condo and barely stayed long enough for Tammy to climb out of the passenger's seat to give me a hug. She said they had a lot of business to attend to the next day, so she wouldn't be able to see me, but she promised that they'd be back in Arizona before Christmas so that we could spend it together. I smiled weakly at her and told her I was looking forward to it. That was what she wanted to hear. That would make her feel better, even though it was only partially true. I wanted to see her for Christmas, but I didn't want to be separated from Dominick.
With a sigh, I watched the car pull out of the parking lot and turn onto the main road, then I went inside. Dominick was on the loveseat watching television. It was odd to see him sitting there, as if he had been waiting for me. All I wanted to do was go to my room and wallow in misery, but when he made grabby hands for me, I knew that wasn't going to be an option.
I forced myself to move towards him until I was in arm's reach, at which point he pulled me down onto his lap and nuzzled his face against my neck before whispering, “How was it?”
“It was pretentious,” was all I could think of to reply.
“Pretentious?”
“Yeah. All the houses we looked at were ridiculous.”
“Ridiculous as in stupid?”
“What does pretentious usually mean.” I rolled my eyes at him.
“Hey, calm down.” He leaned back and looked at me. “It was just a question.”
“It was a stupid question.” I huffed, trying to stand, but he only held me tighter. “Dominic, I'm tired.”
“Too tired for me?” he purred, kissing my shoulder and then continuing up to my neck.
I steadied for a while. His lips did feel good on me, but I couldn't concentrate on them. All I could think about was how angry I was at myself for not taking the opportunity to tell Tammy about us, about how silently desperate I was to stay with Dominick, about how he wasn't even trying to keep me with him. That last thought absolutely disgusted me. That last thought made me pry his hands from around my waist and struggle away. I expected him to give chase, as he always did, to grab me roughly, drag me to the ground, and have his way with me, turning all of my doubts and fears into lust. But he didn't. He simply sat there on the loveseat, his eyes following me to the bedroom, his expression wounded. Guilt surged through me, but I was too distraught to go back. I was tired, both physically and emotionally. All I wanted was sleep.
Chapter 4: Dominick
Days passed, and Kim was no warmer towards me. It was like we were both silently suffering and had no idea how to cope with it. I knew she wanted to live with her sister. It had been a long time since they'd been together. Moving to a new city and into the house of a man who had been a stranger to her for years couldn't have been easy. Not to mention I let my jealousy get the best of me sometimes. Living with me probably wasn't the funnest thing on the face of the planet.
Kim needed to be with her sister, but I didn't want to see her go. I had grown used to having her around. Hell, I wasn't even sure what I would do without her at this point. I didn't want to think about it, to be honest, but having Tammy come and whisk her away for the day really put things into perspective.
For the past year, I endured Kim's presence. Sure, she could be a brat—was a brat a lot of the time, but I loved her. She took care of me like no woman ever had. Kim was a constant in my life, the first constant I'd had in a very long time. And soon, she'd be gone, and I'd be alone again. Things would go back to the way they were before. My days and nights would be filled with lonely silence. Back then, I had grown used to it. I didn't think I could stomach it now.
I knew what I was about to do was a betrayal. She might even be livid with me when she found out. It was selfish of me, but I had to try.
Calling Tammy was never pleasant. While I wasn't in love with her anymore, there were still lingering feelings there, and thanks to our lack of contact, she often seemed like a stranger to me. Our conversations were strained, but friends keep in contact, and I wasn't about to lose one of the few friends I had in this world. She tolerated me calling well enough, usually sounding genuinely interested in hearing from me. That hadn't changed over the years, though so many other things had.
It had been a few days since Tammy had arrived back in Virginia. I figured I'd give her time to get home and settle in, not that she could do much settling in with the move quickly approaching. This couldn't really wait though. Kim was already talking about packing, and I'd like to save her that trouble if I could. I had half a mind to hide her suitcases from her, but that would be childish.
I waited until late afternoon, when I knew Tammy was off work. She answered the phone, sounding tired yet happy to hear from me.
“Hey, Dom. What's up?”
“Hey. I was just calling to see how the move was coming along,” I lied, sounding calm as always.
“It's exhausting, as you can probably imagine. I don't understand how you can do this almost every year. It's so stressful.”
“I've got it down to an art.” I smirked.
“I don't think I could ever get used to it. Then again, I imagine I've got more stuff to move than you do.”
“When you move a lot, you tend not to collect stuff.”
“I can see why.”
“Speaking of moving, I wanted to talk to you about Kim.”
“What about Kim?” her tone changed slightly, almost as if she expected something to be wrong.
“You know she can stay here as long as she wants. It's no trouble to me.”
She sighed, “You say that, but I know it's not true. It's got to be hard living with someone else when you were used to living alone.”
“It's not as difficult as you might think. Besides, she's a big help to me. She cooks and cleans. I think I've gained a bit of weight since she's been here.”
Tammy laughed, “Keeping you well fed, is she?”
“Yes.” I grinned at the thought. “The point is that I really don't mind having her around. I don't think I realized how lonely I actually was before she came to live with me.”
“While I appreciate the offer, Dom, I'd rather have her with me,” the seriousness returned to Tammy's voice. “I want her to not have to work so hard while she's going to college, you know. She only does those things for you because she feels obligated to return your kindness. In a sense, I imagine it's kind of like having a job to pay rent. I don't want her to have to worry about that stuff anymore. College should be a fun time when you go out with your friends and experience all that life has to offer before you have to buckle down and join the real world.
“I know she wanted to move in with you to save me money.
But now I'm moving there, so there's no reason for her to have to live with you anymore. I'm not saying that she's miserable living with you. Most of the times that I've talked to her, she's seemed quite happy. She never complains about you or anything. But she should be at home with her family. I hope you understand.”
I covered the speaker with my finger and sighed, feeling like an asshat for even bothering to call. What could I possibly say to that? She was right. Kim wasn't experiencing the normal college life while living with me, and it was selfish of me to want to deny her that. Too selfish.
“Alright.” I surrendered. “I just wanted to let you know that you have other options. If the move takes longer than you think it will, she can stay here for as long as it takes.”
“I appreciate that, Dom. You've always been so kind to us, to both of us. We'll never be able to repay you.”
You can repay me by letting her stay, I thought, though I didn't dare say it. That was just me being selfish again, wanting what we both knew wasn't the best for Kim. If I really loved her, I'd have to let her go, even if it broke my heart. That was all there was to it.
Chapter 5: Kim
There was a distance between Dominick and I that was almost palpable. We were in my I'm-mad-at-you routine. I'd cook his meals, we'd eat together, and then we'd both go our separate ways. We had become roommates all over again, the silent brooding kind.
After I had deflected his advance the night that Tammy and Marcus dropped me off, he didn't try again. It was like he had given up on me, given up on us, and that thought caused a painful throbbing in my chest.
Tammy and Marcus ended up picking the big house without the pool. She said they could add a pool later if they wanted one, though Marcus complained that it would take up the entire backyard. Dominick and I drove by the house once so I could show it to him. He agreed with me that it was pretentious. When I asked why he didn't have a house like that, he asked if I wanted him to buy one. I wasn't exactly sure what that meant, but I decided to tell him no. The condo was cozy, not to mention it was conveniently next to a bus stop and right down the road from my college. I couldn't imagine him living in a better place for my situation, not that it would matter soon. When I moved out, he could live wherever he wanted. I wouldn't be relying on him anymore.
A week before Christmas, Tammy and Marcus came down to move into their short-term apartment. To my dismay, they got one with an extra bedroom for me. It was a totally unnecessary expense, but Tammy said she couldn't wait to have me with them again. Besides, Christmas was quickly approaching, and she wanted to spend it together.
I stayed true to my word, cooking up a bunch of food and freezing it for Dominick so that he'd have something to eat when I was gone. It felt like I spent an entire day slaving in the kitchen over a hot stove for him, and all the gratitude I got out of it was a halfhearted thanks. Still, it was the least I could do in return for everything he had done for Tammy and I in the past.
I tried not to cry as I finished packing my suitcases. It was almost impossible not to though. This was it. My last day with Dominick.
I took my time packing, but there was no point in stalling the inevitable. With my suitcases stuffed with everything I had brought and everything I'd acquired over the past year, I went to knock on Dominick's office door and let him know I was ready to leave. He glanced up at me from his computer, and his eyes were full of pain, mirroring my own.
“You ready?” he asked, as if the two suitcases by my sides weren't answer enough.
“Mhm.” I nodded, trying not to look as hurt as I actually felt.
“I guess I should drive you to Tammy's place then.” Dominick stood, though he seemed to be in no real hurry.
“I guess you should.”
He closed the distance between us and picked up one of the suitcases. I smirked weakly at the back of his suit as we walked toward the door. He had gotten dressed up for the occasion, as he always did when he left the house.
Abruptly, I stopped, pretending to look around the condo for a final time as tears threatened to reach my eyes. It felt like if I stepped out of that door, my world would completely fall apart.
“Are you alright?” Dominick asked, turning to face me.
“I'm fine,” I lied. “It's been a long year.”
“It has been.”
“I think I'm going to miss living here.”
“I'll miss it too.”
There's no point in postponing the inevitable. I took a deep breath, keeping my eyes to the floor as I brushed past Dominick and went to open the front door. I would have to make that step outside eventually, whether I liked it or not. Besides, it's not like I would never be coming back. I just wouldn't be living here anymore. This would no longer be my home.
I opened the door, and the light of the sun barely had a chance to stream through before I felt the pressure of the door pushing closed and was consumed by darkness again. I looked up to find Dominick's palm pressed against the door. He was staring down at me with an expression I had never seen before, somewhere between sadness and want. Before I had a chance to ask him what was wrong, his mouth was on top of mine, devouring my words, his body pushing me back against the door, cementing it closed with our weight. Part of me wanted to fend him off, but a deeper part of me wouldn't allow it. I held him close, matching him kiss for kiss, digging my nails into the back of his blazer needily, as if it would kill me to let him go.
“She can't have you,” he breathed into my ear when our lips finally parted.
“What?” I was barely able to squeak out before I felt the firmness of his erection pressing between my thighs.
“I'm not letting you go. You're mine,” he replied.
I swooned from his words, and we melted together, melted into a puddle of clothing and kissing and groping and rough penetration. I gasped as Dominick forced himself inside and bucking up into me. My arms were wrapped around his neck, my leg draped over his hip. I craned my neck for his kisses and moaned shamelessly as he fucked me against the front door. I wasn't aware such a sturdy door could creak. I only hoped that the force of our coupling didn't knock it down. How embarrassing that would be, falling out of the condo in such a state.
“What are you going to tell Tammy?” I asked, though in truth, I didn't care. All that mattered was that I wasn't leaving.
I had secretly dreamed this would happen, that Dominick would beg me not to go, but I had never imagined it would happen like this, right at the cusp of me leaving. Tammy would be expecting me to arrive within the hour. I wish I could say I hated to disappoint her. Fucking Dominick was far more fun though, fucking him and bathing in our love for each other. In that moment, my feelings for him reached a whole new level, an inseparable level.
“I'll think of something,” he responded, barely paying attention to the conversation as he continued ravaging me.
“I don't want you to let me go,” I said, and almost the second I did, the waves of pleasure crashed over me, and my body fell into euphoric bliss. It wasn't much longer before Dominick joined me, panting heavily as he stilled and rested his forehead against mine while his orgasm played out. When he had caught his breath, he began kissing me, first all over the face, then the neck, then moving down to my shoulders.
“What are you doing?” I giggled as he kissed a patch of bare skin near my armpit.
“Making up for lost weeks,” he mumbled.
“Alright, then.”
He pulled me away from the door, and we went into the bedroom where he continued to kiss me from head to toe. It was such a silly romantic thing for him to do, but I loved every second of it. By the time he finished, his body was geared up for round two, and boy did we have a round two. It lasted all the way up until I heard my phone ring where I had left it in a heap of clothing in the living room.
Dominick jumped up from the bed to retrieve it, looking hilarious at a naked half-run, half-walk. He had slowed down by the time he returned, entering the room casually with the phone to his ear,
his erection bobbing while he walked. I couldn't help but smirk at him.
“Hey, Tammy,” he was saying, trying to hide the fact that he was breathless, though he was doing a poor job. “Had to run to get the phone. Kim is in the shower.” Dominick glanced over at me with a sly smile. “That's because she decided not to move in with you after all. She said she was worried about your feelings, so she wanted to let me handle talking to you.” He paused. “I know, teenagers, always changing their minds.”
I frowned at him from the bed, though I wasn't really upset. As long as I got my way, that was all I cared about. There was no way I was moving out. Not now. Hopefully, not ever.
“You know my condo is closer to the college anyway,” he continued. “This is what she wants, Tammy, she just didn't know how to tell you. I think she feels more like an adult living here, like she's kind of out on her own. She's nineteen years old. It makes sense that she doesn't want to live at home. No offense.” Dominick paused again. “Oh look, she just came out of the shower. Here, you talk to her.”
My stomach hit my feet as Dominick approached me with the phone. I mouthed the word no to him, but he shoved it in my hand anyway.
“Hi, Tammy,” I said hesitantly, bringing the phone to my ear.
“Is it true?” she asked with a stiffness to her voice that bordered on discontent.
“Yes,” I sighed. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to drop this on you at the last minute, but I realized when I was leaving just how much I don't want to leave. I'm settled in. I actually like living here. Not that I don't think that living with you are Marcus would be great. I'm sure it would be. But, as Dominick said, I'm so close to the college here, and this just feels like home now.”
“If that's how you really feel. I just wish you would have said something sooner.” There was that sadness I had dreaded hearing.