‘Lord Atherton has said that he wishes me to have my season, but if I am still of the same mind at the end of it then Lord Mainwaring may speak to me.’
‘That’s wonderful, my love. So we are both to be married. I wonder if Papa had this in mind when he persuaded Atherton to take us on?’
‘When is your betrothal to be announced, do you know?’
‘Tomorrow, at the supper party.’ Sarah’s stomach lurched, she had to find a basin urgently.
Three days of misery passed before she was well enough to get up. She could not remember having been so unwell before. Relaxing in a warm bath, her head clear for the first time since she had returned from her disastrous meeting in the library, she was able to consider her future.
Atherton was a most eligible parti and no doubt there were dozens of young women who would envy her having captured him. Her tears mingled with the steam from the water and she was too dispirited to try and hide them from Sally who was waiting to help from the bath.
‘I should come out now, Miss Ellison. I have a lovely warm towel waiting.’
Being cosseted by her maid only made her feel worse; she didn’t deserve anyone’s sympathy. It was her betrothed they should feel sorry for - it was he who was being forced to marry a woman he must surely dislike. She shivered as a cold draught whistled under the door.
‘I am not feeling well enough to go downstairs, I shall put on a morning gown and remain by the fire in my sitting room.’
‘Very wise, miss, if you don’t mind me saying so. You’ve eaten nothing these past days and need to build your strength up first.’
Sarah would much prefer to have climbed back into the security of her bed, to hide there until the nightmare went away. She was not ready to face anyone at the moment, even Jane. Her sister’s happiness made her own misery so much harder to bear.
Emerging into her parlour some time later she stopped, gripping the door frame to hold her up. ‘Good heavens! Where did all these flowers come from? It is the middle of winter, but in here it looks like summer.’
‘Lord Atherton brought them up himself. Very concerned about your welfare, he has been twice a day to enquire how you did.’
Sarah felt the weight in her chest ease a little. He might not love her but he obviously cared. ‘I think I could eat this morning. Could you send down for some tea and toasted bread?’
‘I shall run down and fetch it myself, miss, if you are sure you shall be all right on your own until I return?’
Sarah smiled, how had it come to this? She was being nursed by a girl hardly old enough to be working. ‘Thank you, Sally. I shall stretch out on the chaise-longue and watch the flames.’
She was dozing when she heard the rattle of crockery. ‘Put the tray on the table beside me, I shall have something in a little while.’
‘You shall have something now, my dear. I did not carry this upstairs for you to ignore it.’
Her eyes flew open. ‘Lord…Perry, you should not be in here. We are unchaperoned.’
He grinned, unrepentant. ‘A little late to be worrying about that, my love. I am your future husband and have as much right to be here….. well, I’m here and intend to stay until I have seen you eat everything on this tray.’
Pushing herself upright and viewed the loaded table with disfavour. ‘Then, I am afraid, my lord, that you are in for a very long wait.’
His chuckle warmed her. ‘Admittedly there is a great deal of food here. Shall we share it instead?’
Unable to resist his charm she placed her feet on the carpet and took the cup of tea he poured her. ‘I must thank you for the flowers, they are beautiful.’
He nodded his mouth to full to speak. She was amused to see he was attacking the tray as if it was he that hadn’t eaten for three days. She studied him closely, his cheeks did look thinner and he had an anxious look about him. It was her fault they were both laid so low; she was going to promise to be the best wife she could. It was the very least she could do to make a amends.
He entertained her with amusing anecdotes about his travels and by the time he had finished the tray was cleared and she realised she had eaten a substantial portion of it herself. She wiped her buttery fingers on her napkin and smiled. ‘Perry, how was the news of our sudden betrothal received by your guests the other night?’
‘It wasn’t. I cancelled the arrangement, and all the others until Christmas.’
Shocked she stared at him. ‘But Lady Atherton had gone to so much trouble, and your sisters were so looking forward…’
‘There will be plenty of time for them to enjoy themselves. I shall have nothing done in this house that will discommode you further.’ He removed the side table with the remains of their meal, returning to stand in front of her, his face serious. ‘There is something I have yet to do.’
Before she could stop him he dropped to his knees taking her hands in his. ‘My love, will you do me the inestimable honour of becoming my wife?’
The warmth from his fingers was melting her resistance. She smiled as if this was a genuine proposal. ‘Thank you, sir, I am delighted to accept your kind offer.’
His eyes flashed and then he was beside her, her hands still lost in his. ‘I have something for you, Sarah. If you don’t like it, then I shall buy you another.’ He released his grip to delve into his waistcoat pocket and produce a small, velvet box. He flipped it open to reveal a ring, the central stone an emerald with diamonds on either side.
‘It’s beautiful. I love it, I want no other, this is perfect.’ As if she was a true bride-to-be she held out her left hand and he slipped it on; it fitted as if made for her.
‘There it is done. The banns will be read on Sunday, and we shall be married on Christmas Eve.’
She recoiled. ‘So soon? I had thought we would have a long engagement, and be wed after the season. I scarcely know you; it would make things so much easier between us if we were better acquainted, would it not?’
‘Possibly, but we have no choice in the matter. We must be man and wife before the season starts. Word will spread around the neighbourhood of what took place in the library, by keeping my mother and sister away from social gatherings I can contain it for a time. However, unless we have tied the knot…. well, surely I do not need to tell you the consequences?’
‘Then I must follow your lead. Fortunately I have no need to prepare a trousseau, I already own enough clothes to wear something different every day of the month.’ She hesitated, there was something she must know. ‘Where shall we live? Do you have other estates apart from Highfield?’
‘My principal seat is in Hertfordshire, I had thought, my dear, we could live there or in London during the winter months, and at Kesgrave during the summer.’
‘I should like that above anything. Jane told me why you didn’t wish them to be betrothed until the end of the season, that was kind of you. I humbly apologise for…’
‘Enough. The matter is closed. We must accept what cannot be changed. Mainwaring and your sister will make a match of it, I’m certain of that, but they shall do it after the season.’
The three weeks leading up to the wedding sped by. After Perry’s proposal he had become remarkably elusive. He had been at her side to escort her into dinner, had accompanied her when she rode, but at no time insisted that they be alone together. As Christmas Eve approached she became more and more withdrawn. She tried to appear cheerful, but it was difficult when her heart was in pieces.
‘My dear are you unwell?’ Lady Atherton enquired the day before the ceremony. ‘I swear you do not look like a young woman about to be wed to the man of her dreams. In fact, I believe I can safely say, I have never seen two people look more miserable.’
Sarah swallowed the lump in her throat. ‘Madam, I am deeply honoured to be marrying Lord Atherton, I believe he is quite satisfied with the union. Pray excuse me, I have several errands to run before dinner.’ She knew it was impolite to run away, but had no wish to discuss her relationship with his mother.<
br />
She was tempted to refuse to marry him regardless of the consequences, but doing so would also taint her sister’s reputation. She had no intention of doing that. Her foolishness was not going to ruin anybody else’s life. She shuddered, that wasn’t true, she was ruining Perry’s as well.
* * * *
‘Dickon, I cannot go through with this. How can I marry her, when she is looking more miserable and apprehensive each day?’
‘You have no choice, old fellow, you compromised her and you must marry. Have you told her how you feel? Would it not make it easier if she knew you loved her?’
Perry stiffened, was about to deny it, then his shoulders slumped. ‘How did you guess? I thought I had hidden it too well.’
‘You would have found a way out of this, in fact wouldn’t have got yourself in the situation in the first place, unless you intended to marry the girl all along. You are ideally suited, old fellow, I could see that as soon as I met her.’
‘But she is so young, has seen nothing of the world. I am taking away her opportunity to experience the excitement of a London season as a debutante.’ He sighed. ‘I shall make her happy; somehow I shall turn this disaster into a triumph.’
‘It will be a lively match, that’s for sure. If you put your mind to it, Perry, I’m certain you can make her fall in love with you.’ He chuckled. ‘You’ve never had any difficulty charming the fairer sex before.’
Perry ran his fingers through his hair. ‘You’re right, instead of hiding from Sarah, I should have been courting her. I have left it too late now; it’s our wedding day tomorrow.’
‘It doesn’t help that you’re not leaving for your wedding trip until after the New Year Ball. It will be impossible for either of you to feel free from constraint living under the same roof as your mother and sisters.’
‘I’d thought of that. Although we shall be married tomorrow, I have decided to leave things as they are until the New Year. She shall remain in her apartment, I in mine.’
‘Good God! That is a nonsensical notion. That will only make her feel worse You cannot abandon her to own devices, think of the gossip.’
He frowned - his friend was right. ‘I shall take your advice. I shall arrange for us to move to the Dower house; if I remember rightly there are several bed chambers. She can still remain private and no one here need know about the arrangements.’
‘If the house has been unoccupied for some time it will need cleaning, the fires lit, and you must select discreet staff to run it for you.’
‘I shall get it organised immediately. Thank you, Dickon. You have made me feel more hopeful about the outcome of tomorrow’s ceremony.’ Perry was so busy arranging things that he quite forgot to tell Sarah of the change in plans.
* * * *
‘You look lovely, Sarah. But you are too pale, pinch your cheeks and bite your lips a little to give yourself some colour.’ Jane stood back to admire her. ‘The pale green of your velvet gown is perfect for a winter wedding. Come, we must not delay longer, the carriage is waiting downstairs to take us to the church. Lord Atherton and Lord Mainwaring left some time ago, as have the other guests.’
Sarah nodded sadly. This was not how she had imagined her wedding day would be. Papa should have been there to walk her down the aisle, Mama sitting proudly at the front of the church to see her oldest daughter married. She watched Jane hurry into the church, leaving her standing in the porch. She heard the congregation stand, and knew it was time to progress down the aisle. She couldn’t do it on her own. Seeing the wooden bench that ran down either side of she walked across unsteadily and sat down. She heard steps but didn’t look up.
‘Sweetheart, how could I have been so thoughtless? You cannot walk into church unescorted. We shall walk together; it is unusual, but then so are we.’
She looked up and her heart skipped. He looked breathtakingly attractive in his closely fitting jacket, his intricate stock tumbling down beneath the strong column of his neck. Dumbly she nodded and held out her shaking fingers. He threaded her arm through his.
Dimly she heard the music start again. Safe by his side the ceremony seemed less a disaster and slightly more of a celebration. Somehow she stumbled through her vows; whilst he spoke clearly and with conviction. When he took her hand and pushed the gold band over her knuckle her eyes filled with tears. It was done. She would be a good wife, and maybe he would come to love her in time.
The short carriage journey back to Highfield gave them no time to converse. They were ushered triumphantly back into the house by Foster. The wedding breakfast seemed interminable. She wasn’t sure what was to happen afterwards, she knew her trunks had been packed and removed. Perry had told her they were not going away until the New Year, but she had been too dejected to ask about the change of plan.
The carriage was waiting and he handed her inside, she pressed herself into the corner, unable to meet his eyes, to see the expected disappointment there. The vehicle move forward and then it rocked again and he was sitting beside her.
Reaching out he casually untied the bows of her bonnet strings and removed it, tossing it across to land on the seat at the far side. ‘There is something I should have told you, sweetheart. I had meant to, but well….whatever you might think of me, it was my intention to marry you the moment I saw you. I thought of nothing else during the long months we spent apart. I love you, I know you don’t feel the same, and I promise I shall make no demands on you until you are ready; I shall do my best to be a good husband…’
She gazed at him her face radiant. ‘You love me? Why did you never say so?’
‘I did not wish to burden you with my feelings.’
‘I did not wish to burden you with mine. I did not realise I loved you until after you had saved my life.’ His arms came round her and she was scooped on to his lap.
‘My darling girl, how can we have been so stupid? We have made each other miserable unnecessarily. But it’s not too late to make this the happiest day of our lives.’
The carriage rocked again and stopped. ‘Good heavens! Why have we halted so soon?’
‘We are to live in the Dower house, my darling, until after the New Year Ball. I believe I forgot to tell you.’
Impulsively she flung her arms round his neck wanting to show him just how much she cared. As his lips covered hers she was transported to a place she hadn’t known existed. Her doubts, her worries, drained away for ever.
The door opened and the steps were lowered. She was breathless, dizzy with happiness. ‘I think we had better go inside, Perry, we have and interested audience gathered outside.’
He trailed his lips along her neck before sitting back his eyes blazing. ‘I love you, Sarah, and I promise I shall make you happy.’
‘You already have, my love. If I were any happier, I believe I should burst.’
Copyright © 2009 by Fenella Miller
Originally published by DC Thomson, UK, in My Weekly Pocket Novels
Electronically published in 2009 by Belgrave House/Regency Reads
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
No portion of this book may be reprinted in whole or in part, by printing, faxing, E-mail, copying electronically or by any other means without permission of the publisher. For more information, contact Belgrave House, 190 Belgrave Avenue, San Francisco, CA 94117-4228
http://www.BelgraveHouse.com
Electronic sales: [email protected]
This is a work of fiction. All names in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to any person living or dead is coincidental.
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