by Krista Lakes
It wasn't all happy though. While just thinking about him put a happy smile on my face and quickened my pulse, I wasn't sure what was going to happen next. We got along famously, but that was easy since we only saw each other once a week. The sex was fantastic, and I was falling hard for him, loving our dates and phone calls, but I was beginning to wonder if it would be enough. As much fun as we were both having, I couldn't see us continuing on like this for much longer. I didn't want this to end, but I didn't know how we could possibly keep our schedules and the distance from breaking us apart.
I glanced around my bedroom, mentally making sure I had everything. Owen was coming to visit, and I had packed a small bag of clothes and a toothbrush, actually planning ahead for once. I was tired of using my finger and his toothpaste to brush my teeth and having nothing clean to wear home. This time, I was going to be prepared for a stay at a hotel. I wasn't sure what adventure we were going to have on this trip, but I was prepared for anything.
My door buzzed, and I hurried downstairs, bag in hand. Owen was waiting patiently by the front door, leaning against the wall with his eyes closed. He smiled as soon as he heard the door open, and I hurried out to give him a kiss.
He looked exhausted. His normally crisp dress shirt was wrinkled under his jacket, and he needed to shave. I looked closer and could see that his eyes were bloodshot, his lips and skin pale. I hoped he wasn't getting sick.
"Are you feeling okay?" I asked as he took my hand and we walked to his car. He no longer had us chauffeured around, instead preferring to drive us himself in a fancy sports car. Today's version was an Aston Martin.
"I'm just tired," he said with a sigh. "The flights were miserable getting out here and we kept getting delayed by weather. I know it's almost dinner time here, but my internal clock thinks it's closer to seven in the morning, and I've been up all night. I'm afraid I'm not going to be the best date tonight."
"Then how about we just have a quiet night in? We can lay in bed, eat pizza, maybe rent a movie? You can fall asleep, and we can just relax," I offered. He opened the car door for me to slide in, and he kissed me softly once I was seated.
"You're the best. That sounds fantastic."
It was a short drive to the hotel, and the staff recognized us as we made our way up the shiny elevators to his suite. I had offered to put him up at my place, but we both enjoyed room service too much to actually leave.
I set my toothbrush up in the bathroom, liking the way it looked next to Owen's. I sighed, though, seeing his travel kit sitting on the counter. Was it always going to be this way? Just one-night stays in hotels with days or even weeks in between visits? Owen had a long trip coming up, and I had barely managed to trade my shift to get the time off to see him this time. Working in a hospital meant that I had to work weekends and holidays, and Owen's travel schedule mandated that he leave for weeks at a time. His next trip was expected to take him out of the country to Dubai for at least three full weeks.
I came out of the bathroom to find Owen spread-eagle on the bed and snoring. He hadn't even managed to take off his shoes, their laces undone but still on his feet. I quietly tiptoed over and took his shoes off the rest of the way, then slid his pants off and unbuttoned his dress shirt. I pulled the sheets up to his chin, and he smiled in his sleep and snuggled into the soft material, drifting further into dreamland.
I slipped out of my clothes and into the silky nightgown I had brought, sliding under the sheets next to Owen. He mumbled something as he curled up on his side, his breathing deepening. I glanced at my watch—six-thirty. My stomach grumbled and I glanced over at Owen. It was looking like this was going to be a very quiet date night indeed. I pulled out my phone and dialed for pizza, ordering a large Hawaiian style and a large pepperoni, then turning on the TV with subtitles and the volume all the way down. At least I could catch up on my TV.
Thirty minutes later, just as a new episode of some dancing show was starting, the pizza arrived. The scrawny pizza delivery boy eyed me in my sexy nighty, and I tried not to blush as I handed him the twenty dollar bill, then ducked back into the room. Just as I sat down to eat my pineapple and bacon deliciousness, my phone started to ring. I glanced at the caller ID and inwardly groaned. Work.
"This is Kaylee," I said softly, walking quickly to the bathroom so I wouldn't wake Owen. The door clicked gently behind me as my boss started begging.
"Kaylee, we are short-staffed, and I need you to come in. That stomach bug is going around, and I've had four people call in sick for tonight's shift. When can you get here?"
"I'm not coming in tonight. I'm sorry, but I have plans tonight," I told her. I knew she wasn't going to let me out of it that easily, though.
"Please, Kaylee, we're swamped. It'll be time and a half, and you only have to stay as long as we're busy," she pleaded into the phone. I knew that while I would get the extra pay, we would stay busy all night, especially if as many people had called in sick as she said. I could feel a guilt trip starting.
"No, I'm not coming in. Find someone else tonight. Liz is always looking to pick up shifts, try her," I told her getting ready to hang up.
"I did, and she's sick too. Please, Kaylee, I'm desperate."
I wavered for a moment. Owen was fast asleep and not likely to wake up at all this evening. I was just watching bad TV and eating pizza; maybe I could help them out, at least for a couple hours. I bit my tongue as the habit to take as many shifts as possible tried to make me say yes. I was supposed to be with Owen tonight. I heard the bed creak in the other room, and I forced the "yes" creeping up my throat back down. He had flown out to see me, not to have me run off to work while he slept.
"I can't." I tried my best to make it sound final.
"Kaylee, please. At least just see if you can come in for a couple hours," my boss implored into the phone. I felt bad, especially since all I was doing was watching him sleep. I knew my coworkers would be struggling with the short staff, and I hated to leave them in the lurch. I could feel my loyalties straddling a fence, and I hated it. I was going to feel guilty no matter what decision I made.
"I can't. I'm sorry," I said quickly and hung up the phone. I knew she was going to call me back eventually, but for the moment I was safe. I set the phone down and turned on the sink, splashing some cold water on my face. I hated feeling like I was letting someone down.
I dried my face and stepped out to the main room to find Owen sitting up in the bed. He had dark circles under his eyes, but he was awake and looking at me.
"I flew out here to be with you," he said softly. I frowned, confused. I seemed to remember telling my boss no.
"That's why I told them no."
"You took an awful long time to do it."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, surprised at his tone. He must still be half-asleep and cranky, but I didn't like where he was heading.
"I flew over twelve hours to get here, but you gave serious thought to going to work." A touch of anger entered his voice. I took a deep breath, reminding myself that he had been up all night.
"I did think about it. I thought about going in and helping my coworkers, people who I consider my friends, while you were busy sleeping. I didn't though. I'm staying here." I moved to the foot of the bed in order to see him better. The TV cast a strange bluish glow on his skin, his hair poking up in an unruly pattern. He looked like he could fall over and go straight back asleep at any moment, except for the frown on his face keeping him awake.
"I don't appreciate that you even considered it," he said quietly.
"You mean you're mad that I considered doing something while you were sleeping?" I crossed my arms and frowned at him. He ran a hand through his hair, the TV light casting a strange assortment of shadows.
"I don't get to see you very often, and I'm leaving on a long trip. I didn't think you would run off in the middle of the night." His voice was quiet, like the calm before a thunderstorm.
"So I can't leave to go to my job for three hours, but
you can leave for three weeks for yours." The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. Owen's eyes went wide and then narrowed.
"That's not fair. My job is about the travel. I don't have a choice. I flew three extra hours just to get here, to see you. But you go do your oh-so-important extra shift, and I'll just sit here by myself. If I had known that you didn't want to stay with me tonight, I would have just stayed in New York."
"Hey, I'm not going in to work! How many times do I have to tell you that I told them no?" I could hear my voice rising with every word, a hot anger beginning to boil in my stomach.
Owen's shoulders sagged and weariness weighed on his body. "I'm sorry, Kaylee. I'm just exhausted, and I hate that I'm sleeping through our date night. This isn't what I had planned."
I sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, a hollow dread replacing the anger I felt. "Is it always going to be like this? Just random meetings in hotel rooms where we both are fighting with our schedules?"
Owen stared at the sheets in his lap, his brow furrowed. "I don't know, but I don't like how hard it is right now. I hate that I'm not going to see you for three weeks, and then who knows when we'll have more than a day together again."
I bit my lip and tried not to focus on the thick feeling growing in the back of my throat. I played with the cuticle on my thumb, the words coming out slow. "This isn't going to work between us, is it?"
Owen didn't answer. His hair was across his eyes, obscuring his face, but his silence was all I needed to know the answer. Our worlds had collided, but they weren't meant to stay that way. Despite the feelings I had for him, our lives were just too different and too far apart for us to be together. Sure, we could keep trying, but at what cost? Eventually his traveling and my hospital schedule would just be too much to fight against and it would blow up in our faces. Better to end it now, when it wouldn't hurt quite so much. I knew the lie as soon as I thought it. It would hurt more than anything.
"I'll get my things," I said quietly, standing from the bed. His hand shot out and grabbed mine, keeping me near him.
"No, Kaylee. Don't go. Don't ever go." His voice was soft in the darkness. I realized I was trembling.
"Owen..."
"I love you, Kaylee." He said it simply, his voice soft. I felt my heart forget to beat. It no longer needed to. It didn't beat for me anymore anyway; it beat for Owen.
"I love you too, Owen." The words flowed out easily, my heart overjoyed. They were truer than anything I had ever said in my life. I really did love him.
"Come with me."
"What? What do you mean?" I sat back down. Owen's eyes were bright, a smile beginning to form around the edges of his mouth.
"Come with me on this business trip."
"I can't. You know I can't," I said, shaking my head.
"Why?" His eyes searched mine. "Money? Not a problem. Work? You can get the time off. Come travel with me. I'll even talk to your boss. I'm sure you can get the time off if I made a sizable donation to the hospital."
Fear lurched in my stomach. "I can't."
He peered at me, his eyes hopeful. "Why, Kaylee?"
I picked furiously at the cuticle on my thumb. If I kept this up it would bleed, but I didn't care. I took a shaky breath, embarrassed and afraid to tell him. "I hate flying. And I'm not good in strange places."
"You flew to Emma's wedding," he said encouragingly.
"Because it was her wedding. You don't even want to know what it took to get me through the flight." That hot sticky feeling was growing in the back of my throat and I swallowed hard. I didn’t want to cry.
"We can work around that. At least think about it. We could be together this way." I could hear the excitement in his voice, and I wanted to feel it too. I wanted to be with him. I just didn't want to leave Iowa to do it. I nodded, though.
"I'll think about it."
Thunder rumbled, and I heard a splash of rain hit the window as a storm rolled in. Owen grinned at me, hope and excitement radiating from him. I knew I wasn't going to really have to think about it. For the chance to be with Owen, for the chance to make this relationship work, I would get on a plane. I'd become a flipping flight attendant if it meant I could be with Owen.
"I'll try it. But you're going to have to have some serious alcohol on the flight."
Owen's face lit up the room, and he pulled me into the bed with him. As he kissed me, I knew I could do this. As much as I hated flying and traveling, I would give it a chance for Owen. For this.
Rain hit the window harder as Owen kissed me. I could do this. I could do anything if I was with Owen. He wrapped his arms around me, the heat of his skin comforting as we nestled back into the sheets. He was back asleep in minutes, his breathing deep and even. Thunder rattled the windows, but he didn't stir as the rain pounded against the glass outside. It was as if the rain was washing away my worries, bringing change and something new.
Chapter 14
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I could do this.
Owen squeezed my hand reassuringly, and I gave him a nervous smile. The plane moved forward and my hand clamped down on his. I could do this.
When Emma had told me that her wedding would be in the Caribbean, I almost didn't go. But she was my sister, so I had dutifully started working on overcoming my fear of flying. I bought books, listened to 'get over your fear' programs on tape, I even met with a hypnotherapist. In the end, the only thing that had gotten me through that flight was a bottle of whiskey.
The plane began to speed up, the small private jet starting its sprint down the runway. I could feel the plane star to vibrate, the hum of the engines drowning out all other noise. I wanted to scream for it to stop, but I was determined to do this. I held Owen's hand in a death grip. I was pretty sure when we got off the plane that he was going to need X-rays and a cast. That was, of course, if he even managed to have a hand left, on account of the way I was squeezing. He just smiled at me and let me keep tightening my grip.
In deep, out slow. In deep, out slow. I was resolute not to use the little pills in my pocket. I could do this. Just don't concentrate on the plane. It seemed as though the plane was getting smaller, and I could feel the miles of empty space increasing beneath me. It was such a long, long way down.
"Just think of it like being in a car," Owen said, leaning over to kiss my cheek. He leaned back in his leather seat, looking far too at ease for being suspended in a tin can a mile above the ground.
"Right. A car. Just a really weird car," I said through gritted teeth. My jaw was going to hurt tomorrow. This was just a quick flight to New York. We were leaving a little early so I could spend some time with Emma in the city before we took the long flight to Dubai. I had no idea how I was going to survive.
"Something to drink?" a stewardess asked, her blue uniform crisp and perfect. I wondered if she liked her job. I wouldn't have.
"Vodka, please. A big shot of vodka," Owen told her. "And an iced tea for me, please."
The stewardess smiled warmly and placed a hand on Owen's shoulder as she walked past. I didn't even care. If she brought me the vodka and we didn't die on this plane, she could kiss him. She returned in a moment, a tall glass of tea for Owen and a nice tumbler of clear liquid for me. She even brought a little bottle of cranberry juice.
"Here you go. Let me know if you need anything else," she said, handing me the drinks. I took a big gulp, feeling it burn down my esophagus. I could do this, and a little liquid courage would help.
"You're doing great," Owen said as he sipped on his iced tea. I envied how he could look so relaxed on this flying death trap. "We'll be there in two and a half hours."
"Right. Because that's practically no time at all."
"Have another drink." He kissed my cheek and turned on the TV across from us. A castle and music I recognized instantly filled the screen. "And something to keep you entertained."
I couldn't help but grin as the animated movie from my childhood started. I sipped on my drink, feeling
slightly more relaxed as I hummed along with the opening credits. A bright side occurred to me about flying. I could sing along with the movie, and the noise of the engines would drown out my lack of vocal abilities.
I could do this.
***
I peeked open an eye, the light sending a sliver of pain directly into my head. I knew I shouldn't have had that second drink. My stomach rolled, promising me that if I moved, whatever was left in it would come up. As if there were anything even left in it after we landed.
"Hey, Sleeping Beauty," a soft female voice called to me. I pouted, wanting to throw a pillow at the voice, but I knew the motion would just make everything hurt again. "Here have some of this."
I felt a glass press up against my lips and I unhappily opened my mouth, letting a dribble of lemon flavored drink in. If I could keep that down, I knew I would be a happier camper. Keyword being "if."
"Where am I?" I croaked. My throat felt like fire. I was never drinking again.
"Owen's hotel room. You have got to remember to eat before you drink next time," Emma answered. "Here, have another sip."
I sat up slowly and took the glass from her. She looked far too perky and pleasant. I gave her a dirty look as I took a bigger gulp of the drink. It was at least making me feel more awake.
"What time is it?" I asked, glancing around the room. I sat in the middle of a king-sized bed surrounded by puffy pillows. The drapes were thankfully pulled shut, but I could imagine giant glass windows or a balcony behind them. I would have liked it if my stomach didn't feel like a tiny alien might pop out of it at any second.