Jess sighed. She wished she didn’t care so much, it would be easier that way.
She had so many feelings bottled inside of her, waiting to claw their way out and explode. Hurt, anger, confusion…resentment...rage.
If parents loved children as much as they said they did, as much as they were supposed to love them, why were they always the ones who hurt them the most?
She loved her mother so much. At the same time she hated her. Hated her for staying with him. Hated her, blamed her for all the things he did.
She begged, pleaded for her to leave. Her mother said she wasn’t strong enough to make it on her own. She was sick, and needed her father to protect them.
Maybe Jess could work harder at not making him angry. Especially when he came home from a hard day’s work at the police station.
It was a privilege and an honor being the daughter of Police Commissioner William Laurent. One Jess was told over and over, she needed to take more seriously. Didn’t she know how many girls would kill to be in her shoes?
She wished they would. It would mean to end to her grim existence.
She heard her father’s car stop in the driveway. She knew his routine by now.
Sit for a few minutes. Turn down the radio.
Oldies station. They always did weather and traffic. The way he liked.
Get out of the car. Slam the door.
Her body betrayed her miserably, the hairs of her neck standing on end. She swallowed, breaking out into a cold sweat. For all of her bravado, she was as terrified as her mother, and disgusted with herself.
Please, please, please God. Please let him leave me alone tonight.
I’ll be good, I promise.
I’ll watch my mouth, and never get smart again.
Please. Let him leave me and mama alone.
Just once…
Twist the door knob…
She closed her eyes at the sound.
Daddy’s home…
Her forehead hit the table with a loud thump.
Jess awoke with a start, gasping for breath.
Glancing around wildly, attempting to get her bearings. What time was it? Her mother would be wondering where she was. She promised her she wouldn’t be late again and-
Wait.
Something wasn’t right.
She didn’t hear her father yelling. Or her mother, pleading for him to stop. No fists. No horrific sound of his belt buckle unloosening.
Not his stale breath, breathing down the back of her neck…
She blinked rapidly.
Recognizing her bed in Brooklyn. Her shoes and outfit for tonight waiting on a chair next to the bed.
Get it together, girl.
Slowly….her breathing returned to normal.
She desperately needed something to take the horrible edge off. Something to make her forget what a complete fucking mess her life was. She looked over, seeing her special baggie on the nightstand. Making a line and snorting.
There was a god.
Jess…and her mind…were spinning out of control. With a quickness.
She knew this deep down, of course. But of course, she denied it to herself.
The self that told her the occasional line of coke was ok.
The self that said fucking Nick Roman and Eric Summers wasn’t a dangerous game. Sure to end disastrously for everyone involved.
But why tell the truth? A lie to yourself and others served so much better.
Oh, what a tangled web we weave…
The fuck was the rest of that damn phrase, anyway?
Jess sighed, rubbing moisture from her eyes. She was tired, cranky and emotional. Wanting to sleep for a week, forgetting everything about her life.
No time for tears, though.
She had money to make. A show to perform.
“Whoo-fucking-hoo,” She muttered, heading into the shower.
This was her life now.
Time to get used to it.
2
“Is he busy, Angel?”
“Nah. You can go in. Knock first.”
She tapped lightly on the door, praying he wouldn’t hear the knock. Just as she was about to lose her nerve, she heard him.
“Yeah.” His voice, making her heart pound practically out of her chest.
“Nick, it’s me. Jess. Is it ok to come in?”
“Come on in, kid.”
“Um…you busy?” She poked her head around the side of the door, not going inside. Afraid of what might, or more precisely, what would happen if she did.
“Not if you consider watching Scooby Doo being busy.”
“Scooby Doo?”
“Lots of life lessons in Scooby Doo, kid. You should give it a chance. Come in. Shut the door.”
No backing out now. She went into his office, closing the door behind her.
“Wanna sit?”
“I’d rather stand.”
“That’s an interesting dress, kid.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means it’s interesting.”
“Interesting how?”
“I’m sure you didn’t come here to discuss your dress.”
“You brought it up.” She sounded exasperated. “Never mind.”
“What’s up, kid?” Nick chuckled, lighting a cigar.
“We need to talk. You know…about what happened.”
“Right now?”
“Yes. Logically. And right now.”
Nick leaned back in his chair, grinning one of the sexiest grins she had ever seen. She paused, focusing on his pouty lower lip.
“This can’t wait until later, when we’re alone?”
She blinked. Distracted.
“I’m sorry, what?”
Nick smiled patiently and waited.
“Did I miss something? We are alone.”
He nodded toward the door. Jess turned to see Angel sitting in a chair by the door. He winked at her, waving. Turning back, rolling her eyes, she dismissed him.
“I need to say this before I lose my nerve. And we both know what will happen once we’re alone.”
“So. Say what’s on your mind.”
“Whatever the fuck this crazy, irrational thing is. That’s what’s on my mind, Nick. Fuck, you’re married.”
“I’m well aware of that fact.”
“And?”
“And, in regards to the crazy, irrational thing between us. It was pretty fucking amazing last night, wasn’t it?”
“Amazing doesn’t begin to describe it. But that’s not the point.”
“What is the point, kid?”
“It shouldn’t have happened. It won’t happen again.”
“It will happen again.”
“We are logical, intelligent...”
“I’d like to think so.”
“Completely incompatible.”
“Completely.”
“We have to learn to ignore the attraction.”
“You can learn to do that?” He motioned for Angel to leave the office.
“Come on, Nick. I’m trying to be serious.”
He got up, walking to her. Placing his hands around her waist. Her breathing quickened at his touch. “You want me to learn to ignore this?” He whispered the words against her lips, backing her against the wall.
God he was big.
“We need to umm…ignore.”
“Right.” He brushed his lips against hers, gripping her ass.
“We can learn, Nick.” Draping her arms around his neck, she pulled him further into her.
“Apparently we can’t.”
About the Author
Alisa Anderson
well...alisa did stuff and is still doing stuff. only now she has two boys crazy enuff to want her as their mommy. hey, at least she tried to warn them, so her job is done. she doesn’t like to capitalize, partially because she likes how lower case letters look visually, but mostly out of laziness. please don't judge. it could be you. and she would say, hey. you're alright, buddy. you're
ok in my book. now c'mere for a hug. the hug might be pushing it. air kiss? you are strangers, after all, with only a mutual love of poor grammar.
she lives for a world full of controllable anatomically correct, android men programmed to meet her specific feminine needs (wink, wink, nudge, nudge with a big waggle of the eyebrows). who look like the rock. and ian somerhalder. and idris elba. and that's it she promises. variety. gotta have variety, right?
but alas...apparently that exists only in johanna lindsey's genius mind. so until then, she enjoys her incredibly warped sense of humor. she reads tons of erotica and romantic, drippy goo that makes her heart go pitter patter. then she thought, hey. what, she said to herself. (softly, of course, so no one finds out she is indeed, 2 nuts short of a fruitcake) maybe you should write this stuff too. maybe someone will like it and maybe buy it. so she said, huh, you think? then she said, well...yeah, i wouldn't have suggested it...(inserts sarcastic tone) and then she was like lose the attitude, ok? then she was all, would you just shut up and write, already? sheesh! and she did. :)
Cameron Skye
When Cameron is not in the lab working toward a Ph.D., in Neuropsychopharmacology, which in laymen's terms is basically finding the effects drugs have on mood and behavior, she is writing stories, crating vivid, intense characters you will never forget.
She believes while life can take you down every path but the right one, eventually everyone will find their happily ever after.
Author’s Note
Thank you so much for reading Fallen Angel and for supporting independent authors, like myself. I love getting reader feedback, so please be sure to leave a review at Amazon or Goodreads.
Books 1, 2 of the Fallen Angel, Roman Crime Family series are available now. Book 3 in the series will be available winter 2014.
Join my mailing list to be kept up to date on my newest releases, sales and giveaways.
My books: Give and Receive | Fallen Angel
Find me online: Official Website | Blog | Twitter | Facebook
Fallen Angel: A Mafia Romance - Part 1 (Roman Crime Family) Page 5