by Virlyce
…Maybe I should just pick death.
4
Things have been going well. How long has it been since I last watched someone train? Roland was as diligent as Lucia when he first started, but over time, he dabbled in more and more skillsets, eventually ignoring swordsmanship completely. That’s not to say he was bad at swordsmanship, but it definitely wasn’t on the stronger end of his skillset. …But that’s not to say his swordsmanship was weak—he was still one of the strongest in the world.
“Did the Godking practice the Breaking Blade too?” Lucia asked. She was drenched in sweat, and her hair clung to her skin as if she had just taken a bath. Her hands were on her knees as she panted for breath with mini-DalDal resting on her back. Of course, I increased my weapon body’s weight again to 2,200 pounds.
“No.” Roland was a much more refined type of fighter, aiming for weak points and openings in his opponents’ stances. Would he learn something as crude as the Breaking Blade? In fact, the Breaking Blade was originally called the Breaking Blow from the basic war hammer techniques. When it comes down to it, I might not be very good at reading maps, cooking, making pills, enchanting things, forging weapons, but I’m one of the most knowledgeable beings out there when it comes to weapon techniques. My fallen comrades passed their skills to me before they died after all. If I couldn’t remember their skills, then I should just die.
“Then … you’re teaching it to me because…?”
“It suits you. Now quit wasting your breath. We still have a long distance to travel, and you still have 86 more strikes to perform.”
“Hurry up, you slowpokes,” Bouncykins said from atop Snow’s head. “We’re closing in on them, but very slowly. At this rate, they’ll reach their base before we catch them. Can’t you save your training for another time?”
“What’s the hurry?” Training can’t be rushed. Fundamentals and basics are the most important. Lucia is passed her foundational stage, but luckily, her past managed to bring her body to an appropriate level. Being a beastkin probably helped too.
“They can distribute my hoard,” Snow said. His tail was expanding and deflating with every one of his breaths. How does he even know how close we are to his magic tools anyway? Maybe there’s a connection formed like the one between a spirit and their owner? “Then it’ll be impossible to track down my items once their connections are wiped. I already lost a few tools to the guards who’re transporting it.”
Why does it feel like magic tools are like item spirits? Well, they were designed by people who were unable to contract spirits themselves. I wonder if they’d have a nice sword. Can spirits even use magic tools? It shouldn’t be a problem, right? Vera could cast magic despite being an amulet spirit. …Sometimes, I really wish Vera were here. Why couldn’t Roland have stored her in the dimension with me? He probably thought we were going to fight each other. Which was true.
“E-eighty-five left.” Was Lucia going to faint? Maybe a hundred was too much to ask for. Exhausting one’s qi wasn’t a pleasant feeling…, or so I’ve heard. I don’t have my own, so I wouldn’t know. Roland used to bitch at me when I used his qi to fight. Maybe that’s why he eventually switched to magic…. Was it my fault?
“Can you keep going?” It looked like she couldn’t, but she’s surprised me before.
“Y-yes! I can…”
Ah. She fainted. I guess I’ll carry her then. “So, Bouncykins, how’d you go about transforming into a partial magic tool?”
“Should you be carrying your master like that?”
If I wasn’t going to carry her, then who was? “Did you want to?”
“No. I mean, she looks like a sack of potatoes on your shoulder…,” Bouncykins said. He shook his head. “Never mind. But why do you want to know? Aren’t you practically half a magic tool yourself? You can freely manipulate your weight.”
“That’s magic?” …Roland gave mini-DalDal that ability one day when I wasn’t looking. When I asked him about it, he replied with, “It’s magic,” in his usually snarky tone. I didn’t think he was serious.
“If it’s not magic, then what would it be?”
“…Innate ability?”
Bouncykins sighed. “If only your mind was as sharp as your blade. Too bad.”
“Gah!” Snow shouted as he ducked underneath my spear thrust. “Quit provoking Durandal, Lucifer! I keep telling you it’s me who gets hurt in the end!”
“It’s good practice for your reflexes.” Bouncykins nodded and patted Snow’s head. “Besides, can Durandal really hurt you? It’s only Lucia that’s able to smack you through your evasion.”
“It’s your evasion too.” Snow seems to be getting grumpier and grumpier as time passes on. Maybe he’s on his period? Wait. No. He’s not Cottontail, but he’s acting like her when she was.
“There’s someone called an appraiser, right?” Why are you two looking at me like that?
“…Are you intending on announcing your presence to the world?” Snow asked.
“No? I can always silence the appraiser after I’m done.” Snow’s expression turned into a weird one. Like he was set on fire while eating a lemon. “Is that a problem?”
“You’re a very tyrannical sword spirit, you know that?”
“Durandal was raised by the Godking and your ancestor. It’s obvious he’d end up as a criminal.” Bouncykins snorted. “It’s also why he’s my sworn brother even if he calls me Bouncykins.”
“You two are sworn brothers?” Snow asked. “You don’t act like it.”
“Is there a specific way sworn brothers are supposed to act?”
Yes. It’s true. I decided to become brothers with a rabbit. In fact, I became brothers with all of Roland’s and Cottontail’s spirits, weapons and armor alike. The only one who wouldn’t make the oath with me was Vera.
“N-no,” Snow said. “A-anyways, can I increase my pace? You should keep up better now that Lucia’s not training, right?”
“Go for it.” I look forward to seeing what Cottontail’s descendants have hoarded over the past eighty years.
***
Ugh. Why’s my bed moving…? Durandal? Why is Durandal carrying me? He’s not even carrying me gracefully! Am I a sack of potatoes!?
“Lucia, did you wake up?”
Nope. Still sleeping. Who cares if he’s carrying me like a sack of potatoes? Durandal’s carrying me! Well, probably everyone would hate me if they knew I was making him do physical labor. They’d probably round me up and throw me into a pit before burying me alive. Now that I think about it, nearly all of my actions wouldn’t be right in the eyes of Durandal worshippers.
“Lucia?”
Not awake. Not awake at all. Nope, nuh-uh. Hm. Didn’t I promise Durandal that I’d stop slacking? Fine, alright. “Yes, Durandal?”
“You can pick two magic tools from the pile. Ask Snow to explain their effects and choose wisely.”
Ack! Don’t throw me down like a sack of potatoes too! It’s bad enough you carried me around like one. “Huh?” I thought we were still super far away from Snow’s hoard? “You mean—”
“You slept for three days, Lucia,” Snow said. Why was he hiding behind the wall? Did he think I was going to hit him? I’m not that violent! “The people who looted my hoard made it to their base, but Durandal broke inside and conquered it without a hitch. Have I ever told you how jealous I am? I think his prowess in fighting makes up for the hellish training you have to endure.”
That’s not fair. I didn’t get to see Durandal fight. “So this pile of items on the ground is your hoard? Why do you even call it a hoard? There’s like seven things.” By my feet, there were a few shiny objects laying around.
Snow’s ear twitched. “If you sell any of these, you could buy a small house in the city with the funds you’d get.”
“Oh.” Wow. That’s a lot. “…So which ones could I sell for the most?” Gah! Don’t all of you stare at me like that at the same time! I’ll really freeze to death with how cold your gaz
es are. Let’s cough to break the tension. “That was a joke…, of course.”
Snow let out a hollow laugh. “Joke. Right.”
Awkward…. Anyways, let’s check these out for real. There’s a hauberk, a polearm, a bracelet that’d look awfully good on Snow, an eyepatch, an earring that’d look awfully good on Snow, a frilly dress that’d also look awfully good on Snow…, and a fist-sized rock. A rock? “What’s the rock…?”
“That’s just a rock,” Snow said and kicked it away. “There’s only six items.”
…I was hoping for a magical rock that granted infinite stamina. Oh wells. “I’ll pick the bracelet and the dress.” It’s not because I don’t want Snow to be prettier than me. Definitely not.
“Lucia.... You didn’t even ask Snow what they did.”
Fine. “What do they do, Snow?”
“The dress—”
“That’s great! I’ll take them both.”
“…”
Don’t stare at me like that. I slipped my dress on underneath my armor and attached the bracelet to my arm. Eh? How did I wear the dress without taking off these tight restrictions? Don’t worry about it…. What you should be worrying about is what they do. “Snow, how do I use these?”
“Are you really fine with her being your master, Durandal?”
Don’t look at Durandal with pity! I’m not that bad of an owner. Gosh. With the way Snow was acting, you’d think I was keeping Durandal locked up in a cage while starving him.
“It should be fine. Probably.”
Have some more confidence in me! I’m strong, aren’t I?
Snow sighed. “Well, the dress is one of my favorites, but you can have it since I did promise Durandal. I might be a bandit, but I’m a man of my words. My grandmother gave it to me when…” Yeah, yeah. Get on with it. I want to know what my new loot does already! “…and now I’ll pass it on to you. It has a haste spell array imbued in it. You can cast haste twice a day to increase your speed by threefold for ten seconds.”
Oh, that’s pretty neat. No wonder why Snow likes it so much. Too bad, it’s mine now.
“As for the bracelet. It has a simple barrier spell that can ward off one physical attack. It can be used three times a day.”
“I chose well, didn’t I, Durandal?”
“You didn’t even ask what the other ones did.” Durandal might look slightly disappointed, but he’s secretly happy for me on the inside since I’m satisfied with what I got. I can feel it. There’s no way my happiness doesn’t make him happy as well. “But besides that, aren’t you forgetting something?”
“Am I?” What did I forget? I don’t think there was anything important? If there was, it wouldn’t have been forgotten, yeah.
“You missed 285 Breaking Blades.”
Shit. Those count even while I’m sleeping? “That’s not fair…”
“I said 100 a day, and it’s been three days, but you’ve only accomplished 15 of them. How is that not fair?”
Because I wasn’t awake! Demon! Sadist! What was that about my happiness making him happy? He obviously derives more happiness from my suffering!
“Don’t worry.” Durandal’s expression softened. Eh? Was this really Durandal? He’s telling me not to worry with a caring expression? I’m definitely more worried now! “The punishment is simple. I’ve increased mini-DalDal’s weight by 285 pounds. One for every missed Breaking Blade.”
Eh? Mini-DalDal’s still super light though.
“Of course, it might be easy for you now, but as you miss more and more Breaking Blades, what do you think is going to happen?” I knew it. Durandal was a devil. Won’t I eventually succumb to the weight of mini-DalDal at this rate? I could only do 15 before, and now it’s even heavier?
“Good luck, Lucia,” Snow said. He was wearing the hauberk and the polearm was strapped to his back. Darn. I knew he’d look awfully good with the earring. Why couldn’t Durandal have taken three instead? The eyepatch looks horrible though. But I suppose it fits. Snow’s supposed to be a gang leader after all. I keep on forgetting.
***
The idea behind Lucia’s punishment is simple. At the start of the training, she’ll fail to complete a large number of Breaking Blades, but as time goes on, she’ll be able to do more and more as her body becomes accustomed to the feeling of exploding out with qi. Increasing my weapon body’s weight will make it harder for Lucia to accomplish her next set, but the plan is to have her growth outweigh those effects until the weight of her sword is at just the right level. Once she can do 100 in a day, the next phase of her training will begin.
It’s been several days since I invaded that base filled with royal guards and took back Snow’s hoard. Snow’s been considerably less grumpy now that his items are back; though, I don’t like the way he looks at Lucia’s new dress and bracelet. To be fair, they were his in the first place, but he did give them up in a deal. If it weren’t for me, he wouldn’t have gotten any of his magic tools back. Speaking of magic tools…
“More please!” Lucia held out her bowl with her cheeks bulging like a chipmunk’s. The outline of her body seemed to be shaking, blurring the lines between her and reality.
“Lucia…,” Snow said and held his head. “I die a little every time you use haste to eat your food faster. That’s not what my dress was made for.”
“What’s the matter?” Lucia asked and tilted her head. Her hair moved so fast it seemed like it teleported. “The dress was made to cast haste, and I used it to cast haste. And like I said, more please!”
Snow sighed as he ladled her another bowl of stew with a heavy dose of potatoes. In a second, the contents of the bowl disappeared. “More please!”
“Lucia…,” Snow said with tears in his eyes. “I haven’t eaten anything yet.” Poor Snow. Good thing I don’t have to eat as a spirit. I think I really would starve with the amount Lucia eats. Where does all that food go? Maybe it’s converted to qi. That would make the most sense.
“Sorry, law of the jungle,” Lucia said and snatched the ladle out of Snow’s hand. “First come, first serve! The weak don’t eat. Lucia’s the best, yada yada.” The simmering pot of stew vanished without a trace as Lucia’s stomach bulged outwards. “Don’t cry, Snow. I need this more than you do.” Lucia picked up my weapon body and raised it into the air with one hand, which was a little ridiculous since it weighed over 3,000 pounds.
…Is today the day Lucia accomplishes 100 Breaking Blades? Yesterday, she reached 75, and the day before that she made it to 56. She might actually do it before we even make it to the southern pass. Well, at least she’ll have a technique to fight against beasts with. She can’t say I haven’t taught her any once I make her fight a spirit beast.
“You just thought of something cruel you could subject me to, didn’t you?”
Lucia noticed? Were we that in tune with each other that she could tell what I was thinking? “You’re overthinking things. You still have 73 times left.”
“I know! Today’s the day you’re going to stop adding weight!” Lucia cheered as she performed a Breaking Blade, destroying the foliage in its path. A tree in the distance creaked and groaned before falling to the ground with a massive crash. Let’s hope no one reports the destruction we’ve caused in the forest so far. People would think a spirit beast passed through or something.
“72! 71! 70!” Lucia panted as three strikes were performed in succession, tearing apart the earth, revealing the brown beneath. …Maybe people would even think a divine beast passed through. “Phew. If I do 35 more by dinner time, I can use haste once again to eat faster, and then wrap up the last Breaking Blades before the day’s over. I can do this!”
“Then … I’m not having dinner either?” Snow asked. Hey, don’t cry. Aren’t you supposed to be a gang leader? “It’s been four days since I’ve eaten!”
“That’s okay,” Lucia said and patted Snow’s back with my weapon body, causing the poor rabbitkin to wince in pain. “You’re part rabbit. Rabbits can hibernat
e, right?”
“Rabbits don’t hibernate!” Snow glared at Lucia. “I can’t believe I swore to follow you. I thought you would’ve been at least an impressive person considering Durandal chose you.”
“Lucia’s impressive in her own ways.” Only I can make fun of Lucia. “Don’t look down on her.”
“Yeah! I’m impressive in my own ways.” Lucia smiled at me. It’s a good thing her face has become less lewd after all the training she’s done. She’s almost like a normal person now. …Not that I’d have many references of normal people. Roland was abnormal and Cottontail was equally strange. And all my spirit brothers were combat freaks—every single one of them. “But can’t you just make more food? If you know I’m going to eat a lot, why don’t you just make enough for yourself too? I almost felt bad for taking away your meals, but it’s not my fault you didn’t think of such an obvious solution.”
“You think I didn’t try that!?” Snow shook his head and stared at his feet while mumbling, “Don’t argue with unreasonable people. Don’t argue with unreasonable people. Don’t argue with unreasonable people.” He closed his eyes and exhaled. “I did make more food. Every single time. This lunch you just ate was enough to feed a family of ten.”
“What, no way?” Lucia glanced at the fireplace. There were ten empty pots laying around. “Maybe ten really small people…, so it’s like a meal for a family of five.”
“That’s beside the point!”
Poor Snow. He hasn’t figured out how to deal with unreasonable people yet. The secret is to be even more unreasonable. That’s how I control, err, persuade Lucia to do things. I learnt from the best after all. If Roland claimed to be the number two most unreasonable person in the world, no one would dare claim to be number one.
“Well. Even if it’s beside the point. The food energizes me more than it’d energize you, so I need it more. Only 69 more strikes to go!”
It’s a good thing Lucia’s fired up. I wonder how enthusiastic she’d be about her next exercises.