by Noelle Adams
She would wait and see how he acted tomorrow. She wasn’t going to worry about it until then.
But she definitely wasn’t even remotely tempted to go to his bed again that night.
—
The following day he was still acting standoffish.
She just didn’t understand what had happened, unless coming back to Charlotte was like coming back to his real life, where she really didn’t have a place.
Most of the day he was working in his office with Kristin, trying to catch up on the work that had gone undone. Julie just sat in the corner, getting things for him when he needed them or helping him move around or get comfortable.
It was like they were mostly strangers again, like they’d shared almost nothing over the last two months.
She tried to read and distract herself, but she just couldn’t focus. She kept brooding about it, analyzing it in her mind, trying to put the pieces together in a way that made any sense.
By about three o’clock, Eric was looking hot and stressed and exhausted. He kept shifting in his chair like he was uncomfortable, and he was rubbing his head like he had a headache.
He needed a break. Someone needed to encourage him to take a break.
That was her job. She should do it. She felt nervous, though, like he might bite her head off if she did.
“Damn it,” he finally roared as Kristin read back an email he’d been dictating.
“What’s the matter?” Kristin asked, visibly startled.
Julie got to her feet. It looked like Eric was about to explode.
“I need some air,” he muttered, reining in whatever had been brewing inside of him.
Without comment, Julie opened the terrace doors to let him wheel himself out.
The day was hot and stifling, although there was always a breeze this high up. Eric took several long breaths as he rolled toward the clear walls that surrounded the garden area.
For just a moment, Julie’s heart jumped in fear at the idea of him just rolling himself off the edge.
That was impossible, of course. The wall was high and constructed to weather all kinds of buffets and assaults. Eric couldn’t just push his way over it, and it was ridiculous to think he would.
It was just her nerves talking. He was acting strange, and she couldn’t understand why.
She was used to understanding him. Just a few days ago, she’d thought she did.
“Is there anything I can do for you?” she asked softly, coming up to stand beside him.
He shook his head. “I’m fine.” After a minute, he added as an afterthought, “Thanks.”
“You should take a break. You’re not used to working so long without a break. It’s not good for you.”
“I’m fine.” He didn’t really sound fine.
“Is…is Maddy all right?”
He gave her a sharp look. “I haven’t talked to her.”
“Okay. Good. Just checking. You looked like…”
“Like what?”
“Like something is wrong.”
He let out a long, raspy breath. “I’m sorry if I’ve been rude. I’m just trying to get back into work.”
“Okay. That makes sense. Just let me know what I can do.”
He nodded, and she felt a little better, like at least they were talking again. He’d said he was sorry. He wasn’t really treating her like a stranger.
When she looked back over at him, he was still staring out at the skyline, but he had an expression on his face that was pained, lost.
Without thinking, she reached to touch his arm, needing to comfort him, needing to connect with him.
He sucked in a quick breath and pulled his arm away.
She managed not to react, but she wasn’t going to continue with things unspoken between them, so she steeled her nerves and said, “I’m assuming your…the way you’ve been acting means you don’t want us to be together again.” When his eyes shot up to hers, she said hurriedly, “It’s fine! Of course it’s fine. It’s probably wiser that way. I just want everything to be…to be clear between us.”
It took all the courage she had to say even that much. She wasn’t used to laying herself open like that, making herself vulnerable by sharing that much of her feelings.
His breath hitched strangely. “Yeah. Yeah, sorry about that. I’ve been thinking. It’s probably better for us to stay professional. I’m your boss, and…”
He didn’t finish the thought, but he didn’t need to. She wasted no time in saying, “Sure. Of course. It wasn’t smart for us to cross that line in the first place. We can just call it a beach fling and forget about it.”
His eyes searched hers for a minute. “Yeah. After our contract is up, we can…we can revisit the subject.”
He was being polite, but she wasn’t fooled by it. It was brutally clear that he wanted to pull back, pull away from her. He wasn’t going to all of a sudden change his mind after the three months were over.
She was an adult. She’d known what she was doing when she indulged her desires, and now she could deal with the consequences. It didn’t matter that it felt like her heart was being ripped out of her chest. She’d been silly to think there could be any other future between them than this.
She could pull back into her shell, where she’d always been safe. Never putting herself out there. Using work and family and responsibility to hide from any risks that endangered her emotional stability.
She wasn’t so far gone that she couldn’t be who she’d always been.
—
By Wednesday, Eric was in a dark, bleak mood. He couldn’t remember ever feeling this way before.
In the past, every time he’d hit a roadblock or a disappointment, he’d always immediately found something to fill in the gap, to distract him from the pain of the loss.
For the last few days, he’d tried to do that. He’d poured himself into work on the new game so he wouldn’t keep dwelling on Julie and how hard it was to tell her he wanted them to be purely professional again, how gray his life looked without the possibility of being with her again. But it hadn’t worked. He did care about his new project. He cared about it a lot. But it wasn’t enough to keep him from thinking about Julie and how much he wanted her.
How he’d lost her before he’d ever had her for real.
She hadn’t looked hurt or disappointed when he’d told her that nothing else could happen between them. It would have been nice if she’d given some sign that she’d wanted more—since that would have made him feel better about his own tumultuous feelings—but she’d accepted it without question or reproach. Now she was back to acting the way she’d done when she first started working for him. Calm, withdrawn, slightly cool, as if nothing about him could touch her.
Maybe secretly he’d been hoping she would ask him if they could give it a try again. Or she would come to his bedroom again, want him so much she couldn’t help reaching out for him. But his conscious mind kept telling him it was better this way.
Just another five weeks and he would be free. He wouldn’t have to see her again. He wouldn’t have to keep wanting her this way. He wouldn’t have to continue wondering whether surrendering to his feelings would be as impossible as he believed.
She’d been right about him when she’d said that he had always run or made a quick turn whenever things in his life got too hard. Maddy was the one exception. He couldn’t handle any more of the pain and vulnerability that loving Maddy created in his life.
All his life he’d ended relationships with women before they became too intimate. It was who he was, what he did. Somehow he’d let things get further with Julie, but that had been a mistake.
He wasn’t so far gone that he couldn’t be who he’d always been.
At the moment, Julie appeared completely composed as she read on her e-reader in the waiting room of the hospital. He watched her from the corner of his eye, but she seemed completely unaware of his presence, as if what he was thinking or feeling didn’t mean anything to her.
Maybe it didn’t.
Only a few days ago, he’d been sure she was into him. He’d believed she was starting to overcome her lifelong reservations and inhibitions to be with him the way she’d been.
Things were different now, though.
They were waiting for the surgeon to call him back to review the results of the blood tests. Normally, he would have been uncomfortable about the fact that something regarding his health was in doubt, but at the moment he couldn’t really care less.
The results of a blood test didn’t mean nearly as much as Julie’s feelings for him did.
When the surgeon’s assistant called them back, Julie stood up and stepped over toward his wheelchair.
She looked pretty and reserved in her simple gray skirt and blue top, with her hair pulled back in a ponytail. He smiled at her because he couldn’t help it, and he knew something was wrong with the world when she didn’t smile back.
—
That afternoon he had to focus on work, since he was having a meeting in the penthouse with a number of important potential investors.
He had to sell them on his new game, on the unconventional marketing strategy, and on himself as a businessman.
Sitting in a chair across from them, his casted leg extended beneath the table so it wouldn’t be so obvious, Eric had the strangest moment of recognition. The whole situation was surreal. All he’d ever wanted to do was play football, and yet here he was in a fifteen-million-dollar condo, meeting with three billionaires who might invest in his idea.
Life changed when you weren’t looking.
Nine years ago, he’d had no one in the world who could break him. But now he had a daughter.
Three months ago, there had been no woman he’d ever met whom he’d wanted enough to be tempted to change his life, his world, his nature for. But now there was Julie.
He wasn’t sure how it had happened. When it had happened. Or when he’d become aware of it.
But he kept wondering whether he had been wrong to end things the way he had. It couldn’t be right. Not when it hurt every time he saw her, heard her, thought about her.
The surgeon had been pleased with his progress and said that he should be able to get the cast off in another month and wear a walking boot instead. All of that was good. He tried to be optimistic, but thoughts of Julie kept dragging him down into a storm of agonizing feelings.
Julie was in the background now as he went through his practiced spiel about what these investors could expect if they decided to work with him.
He knew they were listening. He was pretty sure they’d agree. He’d never had any trouble getting people to trust him with their money, trust his vision for success.
Julie looked miles away from him right now. She was miles away.
He tried to remind himself that this was a good thing. He’d been the one in the driver’s seat here. He’d made the decision to end it. It was hard now, but each day it would get better.
It had to get better than this.
—
Julie was pretending to read, but she was secretly watching Eric. She was also getting more and more resigned to the fact that she would never be a real part of his life.
At the beach, he’d seemed more human, more like she was, but back here in Charlotte he was different. He was the rich, successful superstar who’d never failed at anything in his life. He was a figure out of her daydreams. He wasn’t a man she would ever actually have in real life.
She’d let herself hope last weekend, but that had been her own foolishness. She knew now. He’d told her so himself.
Yes, she could do more than she’d ever thought herself capable of doing, but that would only go so far.
She couldn’t be anyone other than who she was. Julie Nelson. Quiet. Average. Not particularly noteworthy in any way. Certainly not an appropriate match for Eric Vincent.
She was feeling heavy as the meeting broke up. Eric had done a great job. These people were obviously going to invest in his new game and company. He would have everything he needed to make another huge success, to earn another billion dollars.
And she would go back to her regular life. At least she’d have some money at the end of it. She could set up a comfortable future for herself. Be who she’d always been, without the constant worry about finances.
Eric was offering drinks on the terrace, so he and the investors all went out there, leaving behind Julie and the assistant of one of the investors to pick up the room. Julie would have done it herself, but the other woman had offered to help.
She was very pretty, with dark hair and eyes, and she had a genuine smile. Her name was Kathy, and Julie liked her immediately.
When they’d picked up and returned the chairs to their positions, Kathy looked out through the French doors at the people on the terrace and said, “He’s something, isn’t he?”
Julie’s eyes widened. “Who?”
“Eric.” Kathy smiled at her. “Jim, my boss, wasn’t sure he should come, since he’s not too impressed by athletes and sports stars, but I told him it might be worth it. I could see he was blown away by Eric just now.”
“Yeah,” Julie said, feeling a silly swell of pride, like the compliment had been for her as well as Eric. “He’s pretty sharp.”
“Is he dating anyone?”
Julie gave a little start. “N-no. Not that I know of.”
“Well, you’d know, wouldn’t you?”
“Probably.”
Kathy smiled again. “I went out with him a few years ago.”
“Really?” Julie wondered if she should even have this conversation, but she was too curious to end it.
“He didn’t tell you that?”
“No.”
Kathy gave a little shrug. “I guess that was wishful thinking. He probably didn’t even notice me today. We met when I was working for my old employer, who did some business with him. Part of me kind of hoped that seeing me again now would spark his interest, but it obviously didn’t.”
“He’s been…really busy and distracted lately.” Julie was searching the other woman’s face for any sign of cattiness or subterfuge, but she couldn’t see any. Kathy obviously was being sincere.
And she also obviously couldn’t even fathom that there might be anything between Julie and Eric.
“Yeah. I’m sure. But even if he wasn’t, he never goes back. Once he’s moved on, he’s moved on for good.”
Julie’s heart clenched hard. “You think so?”
“Yeah. I know so. I’ve talked to a few other women he’s dated, and they all say the same thing. He makes you feel…Oh my God, you wouldn’t believe how he makes you feel. Like you’re the most beautiful, special woman in the world, like he could never have eyes for anyone else. And you start to think that maybe he’s actually falling for you, but then it’s over before you know it, and you have no idea what happened.”
Julie stared at Kathy, her stomach churning, shocked by how perfectly the other woman had articulated her own experience with Eric.
Kathy smiled ruefully. “And it hurts like hell when he moves on, but he always does. That’s just his way.”
Julie knew it was his way. It had been his way in everything else in his life before—with the exception of his daughter.
And she suddenly saw so clearly how utterly foolish she’d been to believe, even just for a few moments, that he was serious about her.
Of course he wasn’t. She’d known it from the beginning, but she’d let herself be deceived by her feelings anyway.
“At least he always gives the women he dumps something nice,” Kathy added. She held up her arm to display a pretty diamond tennis bracelet. “He gave me this. It’s the nicest present I’ve ever had, even if it was a parting gift.”
“That’s beautiful,” Julie murmured, staring at the bracelet, knowing she had to say something so Kathy wouldn’t see how crushed she was by this conversation.
It had hurt enough to know that Eric didn’t want to
continue a relationship with her. But it hurt even more to know she wasn’t even someone special in his life.
She was just one in a long line of women who had fallen for him, who had believed he would change for them.
But of course he wouldn’t. Not Eric Vincent.
Not for her, anyway.
—
That evening Julie was trying to act natural, but she wasn’t sure she was doing a very good job.
Eric was in a dark mood. She had no idea why, except he’d closed himself up in his office for an hour just after dinner. She’d thought he was on the phone, and when he’d come out he had been cold, curt, and completely closed off.
Julie couldn’t help but wonder what had happened. Maybe he’d talked to Maddy, and he was upset again about her. Or maybe he’d heard from the doctors at Johns Hopkins and gotten bad news.
The thought terrified her, distracting her even from her own heartbreak.
As she was helping him get out of the jacket and tie he’d put on for the business meeting earlier, she couldn’t help but ask, “Is everything all right?”
“What do you mean?” he asked, sounding a little hoarse.
“I don’t know. It just seemed like something was wrong.”
“I’m fine.” He yanked his tie off. “You don’t have to look at me like you’re feeling sorry for me.”
She gasped. “I’m not feeling sorry for you.”
“I’m not a complete invalid, you know.”
“I know that. What’s got into you?”
He sighed and shook his head roughly. “Nothing. Nothing. Sorry. I’m fine.”
“Well, something’s wrong. You don’t have to tell me, but there’s no sense in lying to me.”
“I can lie to you as much as you want.”
She felt a sharp pain in her heart but tried to ignore it. “I know you can,” she murmured.
“I’m sorry,” Eric said, his face changing. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”
“It’s no big deal,” she said, relieved he was apologizing but still worried about him, since something had happened when he was in his office alone. “That’s what you pay me for.”
His face flickered slightly. “Right.”