by Pamela Bauer
He looked up at her. “I never have much time.”
“Then don’t you think we should talk about the baby? That is why we’re here, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” He set down his fork and gave her his undivided attention. That was another thing she’d discovered about him. He always made her feel as if everything she said was important.
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking on the subject,” he began.
“I figured you were. It’s been five days.”
“Decisions of this importance aren’t arrived at overnight, are they?” It was a rhetorical question for which he expected no answer. “It’s a situation I never expected to find myself in.”
“Me neither.”
“First I want to apologize to you. I’m sorry that my actions have led to this. I should have used better judgment.”
“Garret, you don’t need to apologize. It was just as much my fault as it was yours.”
“I guess it really doesn’t matter whose fault it was. It doesn’t change the fact that we’re now in a situation where the decisions we make will affect the life of another person.” He stared into her eyes as he talked and she could see a strength that she found comforting. “I want to do the right thing, Krystal.”
“So do I.”
“Legally I have responsibilities toward this baby and you know I’m not the kind of man who would ever try to deny those responsibilities. But I don’t want my obligations to only be financial.”
She swallowed back the dryness in her mouth. “What do you want them to be?”
“You know my family background.” She nodded and he continued. “There was no divorce, no blending of families. My brothers and I had two parents there for us every day.”
“You were lucky. That isn’t always the reality for kids nowadays.”
“But I want it to be the reality for my kids.”
This is it, she thought. Leonie was right. He was considering settling down and who would be more appropriate for him than Samantha? Her hands tightened around her napkin.
“I want my children to be raised in a two-parent family the way I was. I want them to go to bed each night knowing that their mom and dad are in the same house and will be there for them no matter what happens. Don’t you agree it would be better for this baby to have two parents who live together instead of being shuffled back and forth between single-parent homes?”
“Yes, but…” She wanted to tell him what was on her mind, but emotion clogged her throat. Yes, she knew that he would make a good father and even though she didn’t know Samantha all that well, she didn’t think she needed to fear that she’d be a bad mother to her child. Together the two of them would be able to give her baby a very good life. They certainly had the financial means. But the thought of relinquishing full-time custody of her child…it was too painful to even consider.
“I want to be a full-time father,” he continued. “To have my son or daughter with me every day, not only on weekends or whatever time some judge determines I’m allowed to visit. People have married for reasons not nearly so important.”
She took a drink of water to get rid of the dryness in her mouth. “Then you’re definitely considering getting married?”
“I’ve never believed that cohabitating is a good idea and in this case it would involve not only two adults but a child as well.” He shook his head. “It would send the wrong message. I’ve given this a lot of thought and marriage seems like the only solution.”
“For you, maybe. But what about me? What about what I want?” She struggled to maintain her composure, not wanting her emotions to lead her astray, but at the moment her insides were trembling.
“What do you want?” he asked.
She took a deep breath, then as calmly as possible said, “I’m not sure, but I know I don’t want Samantha Penrose raising my child.”
He frowned. “Samantha? What does she have to do with this?”
“You said marriage appeared to be the only solution…” She suddenly realized she’d been listening through a filter shaped by Leonie’s perception.
“I’m not planning to marry Samantha,” he told her, his brown eyes darkening as they stared at her intently. “What makes you think I am?”
“You’ve been seeing her.”
“We work together and we’ve gone out a few times, but I’m not going to marry her.”
“Then who—” She stared at him in disbelief. “You want us to get married?”
“We are the baby’s parents.”
“Yes, but…” His suggestion caught her totally off guard. Never would she have suspected he’d offer marriage to her as a solution to their baby dilemma. “But we’re not in love.”
“Not everyone marries for love, Krystal.”
“Maybe not, but it’s important to me.”
“As important as giving your baby a father? You said you wouldn’t want Samantha to raise your child. Well, I don’t want another man to raise mine, either, and I especially don’t want someone like Roy Stanton doing the job.”
“You can be sure I am never going to marry Roy,” she stated in no uncertain terms.
He raised one eyebrow. “Can I?”
“Yes! I’m not in love with him!”
“Then there is no reason why we shouldn’t marry…unless there’s someone else in your life?”
“No. I just don’t see how we can get married considering the circumstances,” she told him.
“Our circumstance should be what convinces you marriage would be the best thing,” he argued.
At a loss for words, she could only stare at him.
“We’ve been friends for a long time,” he told her, leaning forward and holding her gaze with his own. “And there’s some chemistry between us, Krystal. Otherwise that night after the hospital ball wouldn’t have happened.”
She very rarely blushed in front of men, but this was one moment when she couldn’t prevent the red that warmed her face. “Then you expect…” She stared down at her plate.
“Only if it feels right between us.”
She kept her eyes downcast and nodded.
“I think it could work for us. You know my family…they all love you… Mom already thinks of you like a daughter.”
“Those are not reasons to get married.”
“No, but that baby you’re carrying is.” An alarm sounded and she realized that it was his watch. He clicked it off and said, “I’m sorry, but I have to get back to the hospital.” He motioned toward her half-eaten plate. “Do you want a box for that?”
She shook her head. “It’s all right.”
He signaled for the waiter and paid the check, then escorted her to the car. They drove the short distance to the salon in silence. At her car, he transferred the bundle of maternity clothes from his car to hers, then opened her door for her and waited for her to get in.
“Think about what I said, will you?”
She nodded and he added, “I’ll stop by this weekend for your answer. No matter what you decide, we need to talk to my mother. It’s probably easier on both of us if we do it together, don’t you agree?”
It was one of the few things he’d said today with which she did agree. “Thank you for dinner…and for the clothes.”
“It’s the least I can do,” he told her, then tapped on her window. When she rolled it down he said, “Drive safely, won’t you?” She nodded and he went back to his car and drove away. Krystal watched the taillights disappear down the street, then reached for her cell phone and frantically dialed Shannon’s number. She needed her best friend.
Only her best friend wasn’t there. All she heard was her recorded voice-mail message asking her to leave her name and number.
“Shannon, it’s me. You’re not going to believe what’s happened. Call me.”
WHEN SHE ARRIVED at 14 Valentine Place, Krystal discovered that she had a visitor. Her mother’s car sat in the parking lot. Just what she didn’t need tonight of all nights. She groaned, closed
her eyes and rested her head on the steering wheel, wishing she didn’t have to go inside.
The next thing she knew a woman’s voice was calling to her. “Are you all right?”
Samantha had opened her car door and was leaning in, giving her a very thorough appraisal.
Krystal lifted her head. “Yes, I’m fine.”
She looked as if she didn’t believe her but didn’t pursue the line of questioning. “You shouldn’t be driving if you’re tired.”
“I’m not tired and I’m not driving,” she told her. “I’m just sitting here thinking.”
Samantha didn’t waste any more words. She simply nodded and said, “If you’re sure you’re okay, I’ll go inside.”
“I’m fine. Thank you.”
She walked away and Krystal wondered what she thought. Did she know that she was pregnant? Garret had said they were friends, leaving her to wonder just how much Samantha Penrose did know about her relationship with him.
Krystal climbed out of the car, dragging her maternity clothes with her. She went through the private entrance, not wanting to run into any of the Donovans. When she reached her room, the door was open. As she expected, her mother was inside sitting on the futon flipping through the pages of a fashion magazine. Emily was asleep on the bed.
“Oh, you’re finally home. We wondered what happened to you. The salon said you left at five-thirty,” Linda said in a soft voice.
“Yes, but Shannon and I went shopping.” She left out the part about having dinner with Garret. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”
“I thought you’d tell me not to come.”
Krystal sighed. “I’d never do that.”
“No, but Carly would. I was hoping she would have come to her senses and gone back to Joe by now.”
Krystal took a deep breath and counted to ten. She didn’t want to have words with her mother over Carly’s situation. “She needs time to think things through,” she told her, hanging her garments in the closet.
“Well, I’m worried about her.”
“I am, too, but she is an adult and we have to respect that she has to do what she thinks is best for her.”
“In her confused state I’m not sure she knows what’s best,” her mother said, setting the magazine aside.
“Maybe not, but if she makes a mistake, she’ll figure out a way to fix it, I’m sure.”
“Kryssie, the longer she stays away from Joe, the less likely it is they’re going to get back together.”
Krystal raked a hand through her hair. “Mom, we’ve been over this a dozen times on the phone. If Joe doesn’t want the marriage to continue, there’s nothing Carly can do.”
“She can fight for her man,” her mother stated vehemently.
“Maybe she doesn’t think he’s worth fighting for.”
Linda made a sound of disgust. “Do you know how many women would love to be Mrs. Joe Benson?”
“Obviously too many, which is why he thinks he can go to bed with whomever he pleases and whenever he pleases.”
“He had one affair,” her mother corrected her.
“He was supposed to have none. Doesn’t it bother you that he cheated on your daughter?”
“Of course it does, but I also know that marriages survive infidelity. They have a child together.” She glanced at the sleeping Emily.
“I know. For her sake I’d hate to see them divorce, too.”
“But you think their marriage is over, don’t you?”
“I don’t know, Mom,” she answered honestly. “All I know is two people who I thought had everything going for them are now separated and contemplating divorce.”
“They seemed to be so much in love, didn’t they?” Linda said wistfully.
Krystal nodded soberly. “I remember their wedding day, standing next to Carly at the altar, watching the way they looked at each other. I thought they were two of the luckiest people in the world. So in love, so happy to be starting a marriage together.”
“I thought the same thing. When I saw the looks on their faces as they came down that wedding aisle, I said to myself, ‘I may have failed miserably in the love department, but my baby girl got it right.’” She shook her head. “I guess sometimes love isn’t enough.”
That caused Krystal to jerk her head up. “Why isn’t it?”
Her mother shrugged. “If I knew the answer to that, there’d be a lot fewer divorces.” She chuckled. “Maybe that’s the mistake we all make. We fall in love and we get married thinking love is all we need.”
“It might not be all that we need, but it has to be there to make the marriage work,” Krystal stated, more for her own reflection than her mother’s.
To her surprise, Linda didn’t agree. “I’m not so sure.”
“How can you say that?”
“Because I have friends who didn’t marry for love and they have happy marriages. If I hadn’t been so idealistic, I could be in such a marriage right now.”
Krystal frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“You were barely three. I was seeing this man named George. He was crazy about me, but I didn’t have the kind of feelings for him that I’d had for your father. I liked him. He was a good man, but it wasn’t that all-consuming, intense physical kind of emotion that happens when you fall in love. He told me it didn’t matter, that in time a better kind of love would grow between us, one based on friendship, mutual respect, his love for my children.” She sighed. “I didn’t think it would work, so I said no.”
“And you regret it?”
Linda simply looked at her and said, “Yeah, I really do.”
“It might not have lasted,” Krystal said.
“No, you’re right. It might not have, but I’ll never know. I do know that the man I did love with my whole body and soul didn’t stay, either.”
“You’re talking about my father, aren’t you?”
As usual, whenever the subject came up, she was quick to close the door on it. “There’s not much point in talking about him. I didn’t drive all the way down here to discuss water over the dam.”
“Why did you come?”
“Because I’m worried about you and your sister. You seldom call. How am I supposed to know if you’re all right?”
“We’re both fine.”
“I don’t know how you can say that when your sister’s marriage is falling apart and you’re expecting a baby with no marriage prospects in sight,” she said irritably.
Krystal could have corrected the latter statement but chose not to bring Garret’s name into the conversation. “Some people might think we’re both lucky. Marriage isn’t for everybody. You did just fine without a husband. Carly and I will, too.”
Linda sighed in exasperation. “We’d better change the subject or we’ll end up fighting again. Are you hungry? Have you had dinner?”
“Yes, I stopped and had a bite before I came home. I hope Carly fed you. By the way, where is she? Did she go to bed already?”
“No, she went to drop her car off at the garage. It wouldn’t start this morning and she thought she was going to have to have it towed, but then Leonie asked one of her sons to take a look at it and apparently he got it going for her.”
Krystal could just imagine Dylan being asked to help out. “Oh, I wish she hadn’t done that.”
“Why not? He was able to get it running and save her the expense of a towing fee. He followed her to the garage just to make sure she wouldn’t have more trouble with it stalling on her.”
“Still it was an imposition on Dylan’s time.”
“Dylan? I thought Carly said it was Shane who helped her.”
“Shane?” Krystal frowned. “I’m surprised he was around.”
“It’s a good thing he was.” Linda glanced at the clock radio next to Krystal’s bed. “I thought she’d be back by now.”
“What time did she leave?”
“About an hour ago. I’m not sure how far away the service station is though.”
“If it’s the same one I use it’s only about twenty minutes from here.”
“Then she should be back shortly,” her mother said, and changed the subject. “So tell me how you’re feeling? Have you felt the baby kick yet?”
She shook her head.
“With both you and Carly, I felt life around the fifth month. I’m surprised you’ve made it this far without having to wear maternity clothes.”
Krystal opened her sweater to expose the jeans. “I just got them.”
“Ah.” Linda eyed Krystal’s still-slender figure. “Are you eating properly?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“What about the father. Does he know yet?”
So they were back to that square. “As a matter of fact he does.”
Her mother regarded her suspiciously. “And?”
“Nothing’s changed, Mom, if that’s what you’re getting at. And if you don’t mind, I’d rather not talk about me and the baby. Tell me what’s new in your life. Are you still taking those ceramic classes?”
To Krystal’s relief, her mother took the hint and went on to talk about life in Fergus Falls. When an hour had passed and there was still no sign of Carly, Krystal said, “I wonder what could be keeping her?”
“Maybe she waited for them to fix the car.”
“I thought that was the point of Shane following her over there…so he could give her a lift home.”
“Call her on her cell phone.”
Krystal tried but could only connect to her voice mail. After leaving a message, she said to her mother, “Are you planning to stay the night?”
“It would be nice to spend some time with Emily.”
Tonight, Krystal didn’t feel like having another guest. She needed time alone to think about Garret’s proposal. Not that her mother leaving would give her any privacy. She glanced at her niece asleep in her bed.
“You can sleep on the futon,” she heard herself say.
“Are you sure you don’t mind? I don’t want to get in your way.”
She shook her head. “You won’t get in my way, Mom. I’m just going to take a shower and go to bed anyway. I’m really tired and I need sleep.”
“Yes, you do. I remember what it was like at your stage of pregnancy. Maybe I should go downstairs to wait for Carly.”