by Joan Wolf
Lord Rumford had arranged for a carriage to meet them at the park, carrying a luncheon, and when they reached an open, grass-covered clearing, the carriage was already there and footmen were setting out the food. The servants had also brought blankets for everyone to sit upon and they were spread out on the grass.
“How wonderful,” Diana said enthusiastically. “I’m starving.”
“I rather thought we might be hungry,” Lord Rumford said. “I believe there are cold meats and bread and salads.”
The food had been laid out on a folding table, and everyone helped themselves and went back to sit upon the blankets.
The food tasted wonderful, Diana thought. Silence fell as everyone ate hungrily. Diana glanced over at Alex and saw that he had put his sandwich down after only a few bites.
She frowned. She thought he had been looking too thin lately. He needed to eat.
“Don’t you care for the sandwich, Alex?” she asked quietly.
He looked at her from the other side of the blanket. “It’s delicious. I’m just not very hungry.”
“You never seem to be hungry anymore,” Sally commented. “You’re losing weight. I can see it. Eat the sandwich, Alex.” Then, when he did nothing, she added pleadingly, “Please.”
He shrugged, but he took another bite. He chewed slowly. Sally and Diana looked at each other.
Something’s wrong with Alex, Diana thought. Sally’s right, he isn’t eating. And from the looks of him, he isn’t sleeping much either.
Of course, she and Sally weren’t getting their accustomed sleep either; they rarely got home before one in the morning. But neither of them had that shadowed, haunted look that Alex was wearing.
Perhaps he’s missing the excitement of life in the army, she thought. London must seem very boring after three years of fighting in the Peninsula.
Diana watched as Alex put down his sandwich to talk with Lady Caroline. Lady Caroline laughed at Alex’s response, and Diana looked appraisingly at the classically beautiful face that was looking up at Alex.
The unattainable Lady Caroline Wrentham appeared to be definitely interested in Alex. Well, why not? Diana thought cynically. He’s the best catch on the marriage mart—probably the best catch in years. He’s only twenty-two and already he’s an earl. Lady Caroline would be a countess immediately. And he certainly has the wherewithal to keep her in the style to which she is accustomed.
Dimly Diana was aware that she was being unjust. But her feelings outweighed her conscience. She didn’t have any real reason to dislike Lady Caroline, but the fact remained that she did not like the girl. She seems cold, she thought. Alex needs a girl with a warm heart, not a beautiful ice maiden.
Lord Rumford said something to her and she turned to him, grateful to be distracted from her thoughts.
The rest of the afternoon went very smoothly. Diana had wondered how Lord Rumford would fit in with a party made up mostly of young people, but it was the young people who were drawn up to his level, not the other way around. This phenomenon was helped along by the Duke of Sinclair, who was certainly not as young and playful as was Lord Dorset, Sally’s usual escort. And Alex, although he was much younger than the other two men, did not have the carefree levity of so many of the young men Diana had met in London.
They talked about the war and its aftermath, both older men listening with great respect to Alex’s opinions. Lady Caroline also listened closely, her dark blue eyes fixed intently on Alex’s face.
She means to have him, Diana thought grimly and a feeling she did not understand and did not want, twisted in her stomach. She turned hastily to Lord Rumford, who was seated on the blanket next to her. He felt her gaze and turned his head to give her a warm smile, which she returned.
He’s such a nice man, she thought. He didn’t run away from his wife when she was sick. He stuck with her. He’s the kind of man one can count on.
For Diana, this was of paramount importance. The two most significant men in her life had deserted her when she needed them most: her father and Alex. She wanted desperately to marry a man she could rely on to be there for her when she needed him.
From what she had seen of Lord Rumford, she was beginning to think that he could be that man. She sensed a stability about him that drew her strongly. If she married a man like him, her future—and her mother’s—would be settled. She would never have to feel vulnerable and unprotected again. She would be safe.
On the ride home she listened as he told her about his home.
“It sounds lovely, my lord,” she said softly.
“You must come on a visit one of these days, Miss Sherwood,” he said seriously.
Diana’s heart gave a jerk. “That…that would be nice.”
“I’ll speak to Standish about it. Perhaps your mother could come, as well.”
“Thank you,” Diana said a little breathlessly. “We would be honored to visit your home.”
It sounds as if he’s really serious, she thought, as the horses walked comfortably along. But I’ve only known him for a week, another voice in her brain said. She inhaled deeply, trying to quiet the tumult inside her heart and her head.
He turned his head to look at her. “You seem older than your years, did you know that?”
“Sometimes I feel as if I’m a thousand years old,” she replied truthfully.
He chuckled. “Even I am not that old, my dear.” He sobered. “But I know what you mean. I think everyone who has suffered knows what it is to feel that way.”
Diana said gently, “I heard that your wife was ill for a long time.”
“Yes, she was.” He looked straight ahead, giving her a view of his profile. His nose was a little too large, Diana thought, and his eyes were set a little too widely apart. But there was no denying that he was a handsome man.
She said, even more gently than before, “Never mind. I can see it’s hard for you to talk about it. Let’s speak of something else.” She looked around, seeking a distraction. Above them the white cirrus clouds were gathering in various formations. “Look!” she said pointing upward. “Doesn’t that look like a bear?”
A little unwillingly, he laughed. “Yes, it does.”
Sixteen
That night Diana had a nightmare. She was running and running, with something evil chasing close behind her, and suddenly Alex appeared in front of her. She ran straight into his arms and felt them close around her tightly, and she knew that she was safe. “It’s all right, Dee,” he said. “I’m here. Nothing can hurt you now.”
Am I dreaming? she thought, Or is this real?
She forced her eyes to open and, after a moment’s confusion as to where she was, realized that she was lying in bed in her room at Standish House. Her heart was thudding in her chest and she was sweating.
It was a dream, she thought. Just a dream.
She turned over on her back then lay still, breathing quickly, waiting for her heart to quiet. She had not had this dream for a long time, but she knew where it came from.
Lying there in the silence and the dark, she let herself drift back over the years to the summer she was seventeen, to the day she was searching in the woods for mushrooms for the evening meal her mother was going to prepare. She was wearing the raggedy old dress and ancient boots she usually wore for such an errand and her coppery hair was casually pulled back off her face with a ribbon.
She had filled her basket and was on the bridle path walking toward home when she heard the sound of galloping hooves.
It must be Alex, she thought with pleasure. He had told her he might come over this afternoon.
But the man riding one of Lord Standish’s horses was a stranger. Diana knew that the Standishes had visitors, and she supposed this man to be one of them. She stepped off the path to give him room to pass.
But instead of going by her, he pulled the horse up. “Hallo,” he said in a deep gravelly voice. “And just who are you, my dear? A wood nymph perhaps?”
She looked up at the man si
tting astride Lord Standish’s second-best hunter. There was something about the way he was looking at her that made her uneasy. He was a broadly built man of middle years, with cropped brown hair and a strongly curved nose.
“I live in a cottage not far from here,” she said. “Are you looking for Standish Court? If you keep following this path, it will take you there.”
But the man didn’t start his horse up again; instead, he surprised her by dismounting. Diana felt a warning stab of fear and her fingers tightened on the basket of mushrooms she was carrying. She took a step backwards, her eyes still fixed on the man.
“You’re a real little beauty,” he said, his gravelly voice sounding even deeper. He looped his horse’s reins over a bush and started toward her. “But you must know that. I’ll wager all the local swains are after you.”
“I am a cousin of Lady Standish,” Diana said quickly. Her heart had begun to hammer but she managed to keep her voice relatively normal. “You had better get back on your horse and leave me alone.”
The man snorted and kept on coming. “Don’t tell me lies. No cousin of Lady Standish would be dressed like you are.”
Diana looked at his hard face, his narrowed eyes, then spun around to run. He reached out and caught the back of her dress, causing her to fall to her knees. She dropped the basket of mushrooms.
He laughed, a sound that made Diana’s blood run cold. “Don’t worry, sweetheart,” he said. “You’ll like it. You’ll like it better with me than with all the ignorant locals, I promise you that.”
Diana tried to pull away, but her dress held her captive. Then his hand was on her upper arm, holding her so tightly that he would leave bruises. He jerked her to her feet and swung her around to face him. “God,” he said, “but you are beautiful. Maybe I’ll make you my mistress. It’s a sin to keep such beauty hidden in a hovel.”
While he was talking Diana had been filling her lungs and now she screamed as loudly as she could.
“This’ll shut you up,” the man muttered and a second later his mouth was mashing hers back against her teeth. She gasped and his tongue penetrated between her lips. She tried to fight him, flailing at him with her fists, but he continued to hold her. Then he began to push her down to the ground.
Oh God, Diana thought as she fought fruitlessly to keep on her feet, to get away. This can’t be happening. Please, someone, help me. Alex. Where are you, Alex? Don’t let this awful thing happen to me.
Then she was down on the ground, and the man was pawing at her skirt, trying to lift it.
One moment he was on top of her, and the next moment he was flung away. Diana looked up to see Alex, fists clenched, going after the stumbling man.
“Hallo!” the man protested, as he backed away from the oncoming Alex. “Don’t get so upset. She wanted it as much as I did.”
“Is that why she screamed?” Alex said, and punched the man square in the middle of his face. His nose started to bleed heavily.
Diana scrambled to her feet. Her heart was thudding so loudly she could actually hear it.
“Jesus,” the man said, “I’m bleeding.” He raised his hand to his nose and brought it away, covered in blood.
“Do you know who this is, Hawley?” Alex demanded from between clenched teeth. “This is my cousin. What the bloody hell did you think you were doing?”
The man, who was shorter than Alex but much bulkier, backed away, blood still gushing from his nose. Diana could feel the waves of Alex’s fury in the air. It was scary. “I would like to beat you into a bloody pulp,” he said, and there was no mistaking the menace in his voice.
“There’s no need for that,” the man said. The blood was dripping off his chin and onto his clothes. He outweighed Alex by at least thirty pounds, but he clearly didn’t want a fight. He took a few steps toward his horse, sputtering, “I’m sorry. I made a mistake. I thought she was just a local wench.”
“And you think it’s all right to go around raping innocent women just because they are commoners?” Alex was still talking from between clenched teeth.
The man looked at him warily and didn’t reply. He had almost reached his horse.
Alex said, “Pack your bags and be out of my father’s house before I get back. I don’t care what excuse you give, just get out. And never come back again.”
“I’ll do that. Calm down. I’ll be gone before dinner.” He looked at Diana. “Sorry, miss,” he said, swung up on his horse and rode away, his nose still pumping out blood.
Alex and Diana watched him go.
When Hawley was out of sight, he turned to her. “Are you all right, Dee? Did he hurt you?” His eyes were still blazing.
She said in a small voice, “My lip is bleeding.”
“One moment and let me tie Monty.” He did this, then returned and took her into his arms. She began to shake.
“Come on,” he said. “You need to sit down.”
She let him lead her through the woods to a small stream which had a grassy patch on its bank. Diana sat, drew her knees up and pressed her forehead against them. Alex sat beside her and put his arm around her shoulders.
“Do you feel faint?” he asked.
All of a sudden, she began to cry.
“Oh, Dee,” he said, and gathered her to him, so that her face was pressed against his shoulder. “It’s all right,” he kept saying. “Nothing terrible happened. I got there in time. You’re going to be all right, Dee. It’s going to be all right.”
She tried to stop sobbing and couldn’t.
“I should have killed that bastard,” Alex said, his lips against her hair.
She shook her head. “N-no. I wouldn’t want you to do that.”
The coat under her cheek was soaked with her tears. She made another heroic effort and got herself under control. She lifted her head and said shakily, “I’ve made a mess of your coat, I’m afraid.”
“The hell with my coat,” he replied. He took a handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to her.
She mopped her face and blew her nose. “I never cry,” she said. “I don’t know what got into me.”
“You were scared,” he said grimly. “And you had every right to be scared. If I hadn’t come along in time, that bloody Hawley would have raped you.”
“Oh God. I know.” She shuddered. They were sitting close together, their shoulders touching, and she put her hand on his knee. “Thank you, Alex. Thank you for being there when I needed you.”
“I was riding to your house to see if you wanted to go fishing,” he said.
She drew a deep, steadying breath. “Who was that awful man?”
“Some idiot my father invited because they sit on the same parliamentary committee. But don’t worry. Once I tell my father what happened, he won’t ever invite him again.”
“Don’t tell him,” Diana said instantly.
He frowned. “Why not? We don’t want him ever coming here again.”
“Because if your father knows, then he’ll tell Mama, and I don’t want her worried.”
“I’ll tell my father to keep it to himself. He needs to know, Dee. I don’t want to take a chance that Hawley might return here. Next time I might not be around to rescue you.”
She searched his face. “You will ask him not to tell Mama?”
“Yes.”
She continued to look up at him. The fury had left his eyes and all that was left was concern for her. Concern and something else…
She picked up his hand and kissed it. “Thank you,” she said again. “Thank you for saving me.”
He put his hand on her nape, under the cloudy mass of coppery curls. “When I heard you scream…Well, it terrified me.”
“How did you know it was me?”
“I just did.”
“Yes.” He was gently rubbing the back of her neck. “You would.”
“Dee…” Then his face was coming down toward hers. She closed her eyes and their lips met. Instantly, passion ignited between them.
They
had kissed before. In fact, over the past two summers they had gotten very good at kissing. But this was something different. The earlier threat of violence had stripped away the barrier that social and religious convention had heretofore placed between them, and desire flooded through Diana’s veins. When Alex laid her back upon the grass, she went willingly, wanting him to keep kissing her, wanting him to touch her. When he fumbled with the front buttons of her dress, she raised her hands to help him. Then he was kissing her everywhere, kissing her throat and her uncovered breasts. When his mouth touched her nipple, a shock of raw sensation ran from her breast to down between her legs. She buried her hands in his black hair and felt her breath begin to come hard and fast.
“Alex,” she gasped. “Alex.”
“Dee,” he moaned. “I love you so much. So much.”
She felt him lifting the light summery material of her dress and then his hand was caressing her bare thigh. Her back arched. Then his fingers touched her between her legs. She felt the strange gush of liquid that greeted his intrusion. He began to move his finger up and down, creating the most incredible sensation. Involuntarily, she spread her legs wider, urging him to continue.
Then he was looming over her.
“All right?”
“Yes,” she panted, thinking she would die if he didn’t continue.
She felt him entering her.
At first there was pain, a burning pain, and involuntarily she tried to pull away. But as he moved inside of her, all of the intense feeling that had been building up in her loins seemed to gather together and then, just when she felt she could stand it no longer, it exploded. Diana’s body shuddered with the power of that explosion and her fingers dug deeply into Alex’s coat.
Alex drove one more time and she heard him cry out.
They clung to each other, both of them profoundly shaken by what had just passed between them. Alex’s heart was beating like a drum, and it was a long time before it slowed and he was able to lift his head to look down at her.
“We shouldn’t have done that,” he panted. “I shouldn’t have done it. But I’m glad we did. I love you so much, Dee. So much.”