by J. A. Huss
“Do I look ready?”
Gideon slaps me across the face. “I asked you a fucking question, soldier. Now I want a fucking proper answer.”
“No, sir!” I scream. “I’m not ready. I’m gonna refuse this order!”
“You’re not, soldier. You’re trained to do one thing and one thing only. Follow my orders. You hear me?” Gideon gets up on his knees and positions himself over the top of my prone body. He drops all his weight on my back and slips his mouth up to my ear. “Aim, now! And when I tell you to fire, you will fire, understood?”
“No, sir! I will refuse—”
“Aim the fucking weapon, Junco!”
“No!”
“You are my soldier, you will follow orders, you will—”
“I would rather die than kill him, Gideon! Please!” I try to turn so I can plead with him face to face, but he won’t let me move. He pushes my hand to the trigger mechanism and I feel the plates underneath the skin of my palm vibrate as it locks into place. I can’t remove my hand, it’s stuck. “No, Gideon.” I begin to panic. “Please, please don’t… please, I won’t!”
“You will, Junco.” He pushes on me, the whole of him presses against me. “Snowbird, listen,” he says in a soft whisper that I can barely hear over the fighting that’s now happening down below. “Listen to me, OK? I would never—no matter what you think I feel for Lucan—never tell you to hurt him if it wasn’t necessary. Trust me, Junco. I told you, back at camp before Inanna took me away to morph. I promised. I told you to never doubt me, Junco. And I’d never doubt you, either. And that’s how I know, little bird, you will do as I ask right now. Because you trust me, Junco. And I trust you.”
“I do not trust you!” I scream it as the tears stream down my face. “I do not trust you!”
“Please, Junco. Just follow orders like a good girl, please!”
I shake my head no but he slips his cheek up next to mine and peers through the scope. “Look, they’re fighting, Junco. Tier can’t win against this Angel. He’s not strong enough. That Aesin will tear him apart. He’s going to die today, no matter what. If you kill Lucan, you’ll stop the fight. You can save Tier!”
I watch the fight and realize he’s right. Tier is losing. He’s good, and he’s got the other Angel all bloody and hurting, but it’s clear that Tier is almost done.
“Look down the sight, Junco.”
I sniff back sobs and peek into the scope. My training kicks in and my mind automatically starts performing the calculations and before I even realize it, my fingers have adjusted my rifle and I’m breathing.
In, out, stop.
But if Tier lives… and that Angel is in charge… “I’m not gonna do it,” I say softly.
“You will follow my order, Junco. You will do what you’re told.”
In, out, stop.
… then what happens to Tier when Lucan is gone? “I’m gonna refuse this time. I won’t do it.”
In, out, stop.
“You will not, Junco. You will not. You will do as you’re told!”
Because if Gid said Lucan is the only thing keeping us safe from these Angels… “I won’t kill him like I did Isec. I’m not a machine that only follows orders. I’m a person who makes choices.”
In, out, stop.
“You are a soldier, Junco. You only exist to complete the mission.”
… then that Angel will have Tier to punish when Lucan is gone.
In, out—
“Fire,” Gideon whispers.
And before I even realize that I’m on stop, my finger squeezes.
The SEAR knife flies through the air and I am one with it. I am the weapon and the weapon is me. I hurl through the air towards my target and for the briefest of fractions, I catch a smile on Tier’s face as his gaze meets mine. His red eyes flash green in my scope, then back to red.
And then I slam into his heart, just like Jupiter’s arrow.
I shoot Tier instead of Lucan.
Because there really are worse things than death.
Chapter Forty-One—JUNCO
The whole world explodes and at the same time the Halo comes online, flashing a bright white light as the shields activate.
I recognize the shatterling pieces I turn into from the last dissipation, but then I hit the shield boundary in the upper atmosphere and bounce back to Earth, all my molecules scattered once again, except this time there is no constant velocity in a vacuum to propel me in an assured direction.
There is nothing but gravity, pulling me down, and eliminating any hope I ever had of pulling myself back together by the laws of physics. I am stuck.
Chapter Forty-Two—JUNCO
Darkness.
Seemingly eternal, but how can you tell?
And then, piece by piece, the light leaks into my world.
There is no pain. There is nothing and more nothing and then… something.
“I found it!” The voice of HOUSE permeates my consciousness and tugs on me.
Movement. A gathering, a collecting of… me. Making me whole again, putting me back together.
“That’s the last piece, then. Well done, child. I told you, Junco. I would not let you drift.”
Lucan.
“I told you to trust me. Just do me this favor and I’d be there for you.” I recognize the time shift as we move through space. Then silence.
My chest rises and falls and it hurts.
“I hate you, Lucan,” I say, coughing as his grip tightens on my body.
“I know, Junco. I hate me too.”
There is no sound except that of his shoes clicking on the hard tiles floor. Then brightness flashes across my closed eyelids and HOUSE’s voice come from above. “I got it working, Lucan!”
“You’re a very clever girl, HOUSE. Please get the morph room ready the way I instructed you on Earth.”
“OK,” HOUSE replies and then there is nothing but shoes clicking again.
“You should’ve left me drift, Lucan.”
“No, Junco. I made you three promises. I will love you for thousands of years, I will put you back together, and you will be OK. And I will fulfill all three of those promises. I have never lied to you, Junco. Ever.”
We stop and I recognize the whoosh of a biometrically sealed door opening.
“I hate you, Lucan.”
His lips flutter on my cheek and then he chuckles.
“You’re allowed to hate me, Junco. But I’m still going to take care of you. Now go to sleep.”
And then the warmth viscous tank gel encases me like a cocoon.
I wonder what kind of fucked-up monster will I be when they pull me out this time?
Chapter Forty-Three—LUCAN
Abandoned Amelia Habitat – The Band
“You’re walking too fast!” HOUSE squeals at Rikan and me as our heels click along the polished stone black surface of the science module. Rikan gets tugged back by the hand and I stop to sigh as the anti-grav lift loaded with our cargo floats past me. “I can’t keep up if you walk so fast. My legs are short, I’m just a kid, you always forget about me, I’m—”
“HOUSE,” Rikan says patiently. I give him lots of credit for this. I like the baby Junco, but only in very small doses. Rikan is good with her. “Come here, I’ll carry you, OK?” He bends down and scoops her up and she buries her head in his neck. Sometimes I forget what it’s like to raise a newborn AI. They do tire easily and this cargo is not light. Keeping it afloat is probably draining her. She can’t run the whole habitat yet, either. When we go places she can only power things where we currently are. One module is about all she’s capable of, and then only a small one.
Rikan whispers encouraging things to her and the lights come on a little brighter. “I’m scared to go up there,” she admits for the hundredth time. I actually roll my eyes, but Rikan shoots me a dirty look.
“HOUSE, I’ll be there with you. We don’t even have to talk, just stand there. Then you can release the cargo and it will be easier going back down. OK?”
<
br /> She doesn’t answer so I just continue on. The cargo float is waiting at the elevator. I press the button, a little bit anxious to see if my request will be granted.
The doors open so I guess that’s a yes.
We all step in and the lift takes us up to the Bridge. Rikan has been here many times. All his gifts were sanctioned by Crage. He is one hundred percent legitimate. The doors open and HOUSE ohhs and ahhs as we step out onto the nothing. There is really nothing to see outside for the brief time it remains visible as we climb. No one lives here anymore. All the avian and Archers are still on Earth. Waiting for this day.
I blow out a breath as I see the white light up ahead. He came.
Of course he came. I laugh a little to myself.
I won.
And I’m going to collect my prize.
“Lucan,” Crage says in a low voice. He takes notice of my entourage—the cargo, the baby Junco, my son—and then he turns to me. “You had better explain what this is.”
I look back at the cargo. “OK, HOUSE, you can drop it here.” She drops it, literally disengages the anti-grav field as it’s in mid-air, and the crash of all those lead-encased molecules is quite spectacular.
I smile at my uncle and wave a hand at the cargo. “She’s all yours. I promised I’d let her live, and I did.” I smirk at this part, because you know what? Fuck him. Seven thousand years. That’s how long I put up with his bullshit orders. Seven. Thousand. Years.
He’s shaking his head and then he laughs. “I’m not taking that. You know she can’t cross.”
“Oh, you’ll take her. And she’s harmless like this. You actually owe me for corralling your insane bitch of a wife and containing her every atom inside lead. She’s harmless, but like your son”—I pull out the silver straw that Ashur delivered after Tier was blown up by Junco’s SEAR knife—“she’s not welcome in my universe anymore.”
My universe. I love it.
“Your universe?”
“Or you can leave her here on the Bridge, I could care less. Just hand me back my Amelia and we’ll call it even.”
“Even? We’re not even, Lucan! You killed my son after you promised!”
“I promised I would give Caleb a perfect gift. To ease his pain, the pain that comes with knowing his life is expendable, and that wish was to go home. So here he is.” I thrust the straw at him this time. “Take him home.”
“He cannot cross! He’ll contaminate this world.”
“He’s a bit of protoplasmic essence contained within a straw. I think you can handle this one, Crage.” I set the straw on the Inanna cargo. She is nothing but billions of little silver cubes. “It was brilliant, you have to admit.” I look up at Crage and he’s red-faced with anger, but he’s also confused. “Ah, I see my cunning still eludes you.” I clap my hands together and look back at HOUSE and Rikan. “You two have anything to add?”
HOUSE peeks her face out and sniffs loudly. “How did the Solar System keep his pants from falling down?”
Rikan laughs and even I crack a smile.
“The Asteroid Belt,” she deadpans.
I look back at Crage and he’s even more confused than ever. “You’re lucky you didn’t get a knock-knock joke. She’s been into those for weeks.”
Crage snaps out of it and shakes his head. “You still need me, Lucan. Remember who has your precious Amelia. I want full control of the Bridge from now on. No more mutual ownership.”
“I think not, Uncle.” My eyes flash red as my good mood disappears. “I think not. You will deliver my wife to me as we agreed. I ended Aesin.” I stop and put up a hand because I know what he’s about to ask. “I will never tell you, so don’t even bother. I’ve encased him just like I did with Inanna. He’s been scattered on so many worlds, he will never pull himself back together. And no one will ever find him, because I’ve hidden a few crucial pieces of his essence in places no one will dare to look. I gave your son his greatest wish, to go home. And I did not end your wife. She’s no longer under my dominion. I release her to you. What you choose to do with her, well, I do not give one shit about that at all.”
He stares at me, considering his options.
“You have no options. I win. And before you call me a cheat, tell me where my one true son is? Where is he? Did he cross?”
Silence.
“You cheat. You lie. But your worst crime, Crage, is underestimating me. You figured me the weakest, most pathetic High Order being who ever lived, right? Just because I was rational and wanted nothing to do with violence. You and Ea plotted this together. To take this new—” I wave my hand at his end of the Bridge. “Whatever it is beyond there that has the two of you so captivated. You set me up from the very first day. You set Gib up. You set Rache up. But the thing you never considered was that we were setting you up.”
“You used my daughter.”
“I sure as hell did! Someone had to. You certainly weren’t going to use her. Junco was made for me, did you forget that? She was my Amelia. My gift from my almighty grandfather, Ea. I used her. But the thing none of you Angels ever understand is that I love my soldiers. All of them. I take care of them. I do not leave them to suffer or die for my crimes.”
“And yet you sacrificed all those sons.”
“Which sons?”
He eyes me cautiously, knowing this is a trap.
“Which sons, Crage? Isten, Mish, and Braun? Those sons who at this very moment inhabit a virtual run by Sera? Or Rikan? The one who delivered Aesin to the exact spot we needed him to be before he was blown up with the rest of them at New Peaks? Because he’s right here. All healed up. Or are you referring to Ashur, Arel, and Ryse? Those sons who stayed away from the fighting so they would all live.”
I pause for a moment to let the obvious sink in, and then I whisper it. “Or maybe you’re referring to Tier? The one who is missing.”
I stop to smile.
He breathes a little harder.
“Oh yes, Uncle. I take care of my sons. Especially my one true son. Did you forget who made all these sons for me?” I laugh now, because it’s almost funny. “That same High Order geneticist who made Amelia, the soul that resides inside of Junco. Do you really think he’d just let himself be caught and paraded on stage only to be dissipated like Inanna and Aesin? Tier was my weapon, but Gib is the one who made him. Gib is the one who gifted him, Gib is the one who made sure he and Rache would not be affected by the blast.” And then I look past him to the Almighty Ea, who has finally decided to grace me with his presence at this final moment. My grandfather. “Did you really think we’d sacrifice ourselves for your foolish greed?”
“We’ll keep Amelia,” Crage says defiantly.
“Oh, will you?” I look at one monster, then the other. “Then I won’t blow up the Bridge. I was going to, you know. Blow it up and just forget it ever existed. But if you want to cheat me again, I can arrange for some very eager Angels to take possession of it. Because I’m the only thing standing between you and them.”
“You have no way to let them cross. We’d just close it up.”
“But they would find a way. It might take a million years, but they would most definitely find a way. So I defer to you now. Deliver my wife and I’ll keep the Angels away, or keep her and I’ll lead the attack.”
“We want Junco back.” Ea finally speaks, still on the far side of the white room. “We want that Amelia soul.”
“To use and abuse again and again?” I shake my head and whisper, “Never.” I pause for a moment to see if they will counter, and when they don’t I know she’s never been anything but a pawn. “The deals are over. Choose.”
Both men disappear and then Crage returns with Amelia in his arms. I take her and stare at my Uncle as I back away from him. “If she’s damaged—”
“If you let them cross—”
“Then we understand each other. As long as she lives, I’ll keep them away.”
Chapter Forty-Four—JUNCO
Halo Virtual
> I wake up in my room at the 039. I love this bed. It’s awesome. The feather blanket is so soft and the pillows are wonderful. I’m not sure I’ve ever had such nice bedding in my life. Not even at home, and we were not poor by any means.
A stray thought enters my mind. Is it fucked up to have feathers in your comforter if your friends have wings?
My hand darts to my shoulder at this thought. No bumps. Hmmm. That’s weird.
Actually…
I open my eyes. How the hell did I get to my Amelia room? I get out of bed, expecting to feel… terrible. Wasn’t I just dissipated? I look out my window but there’s no traffic going by. I pad over to the window seat and look out. No fliers anywhere. No Kadian in the window across the boulevard either.
Maybe it’s a holiday?
I laugh at that.
Yeah, it’s a holiday. More likely, Junco, you’re in a virtual.
But at least it’s not the fucking dock.
A roar of voices bellows out from the living area and my heart swells. I run to the door, throw it open and stop dead when I see who’s in the apartment with me.
“Braun!” I run to him and he holds his cigar high in the air as I hug his chest. I look up—man, he is massive. So much bigger than I remember. “What are we doing here?”
“I told you, Snowbird. I got this.” Isten comes out from the kitchen with a couple of beers and Mish is not far behind with a plate of food.
“We’re getting ready to start a game, Juncs. You in?” Braun asks.
“Is this real?” I ask, looking around wildly. “Am I alive?”
“Uh, are we alive?”
I shake my head and sigh. “No. So I died?”
Braun pushes me to take a seat at the poker table and hands me a cigar. I take the little gray box, tap out the stogie, and light it on the striker. “We sorta gave up our positions, Juncs. So we could stay here with you.”
“But everyone said once you cross the Bridge you can’t come back.”
“We’re not back,” Isten says as he takes his seat between me and Mish.