“Dreams, Edward?”
“Yes, My Lady. Rather dark and strange ones.”
“What did they contain?” She moved closer to him and sat down on the edge of a haybale. Her eyes drifted across his lips, remembering.
“Figures I did not recognize, and yet I knew them intimately. I could not put a name to any of them, but I know they are part of my history…at least, I think they may be.”
She frowned. “You are recalling your lost memories?”
“I do not know, My Lady. It is hard to fathom. Perhaps they are simply dreams…I honestly cannot say.”
“Was there a wife amongst these dreams?” She could not help but ask.
A small smile crept onto his lips. “I do not believe so. A sister, instead.”
She clapped her hands together. “A sister? How pleasant. Was she fair? Younger than you? I must know.”
He chuckled softly, though there was a hint of sadness in the sound. “I do not know. She appeared to be much younger than I, and…in my dream, she was no longer with us. Here, in the land of the living.”
“Then I pray it was only a dream, and not the truth.” Her heart went out to him, for she could see the frustration he felt in knowing little of himself. She was secretly pleased there had been no wife, but her sorrow for him was greater. Deep down, she wished he would remember, and that he might discover himself to be the son of a grand Duke. Then, her mother could have no qualms about their union.
“Will you ride this morning, My Lady?” Edward flitted past the subject. It was evidently too painful for him to dwell upon. Her youthful curiosity would have to wait.
“I will, Edward.”
“Very good.” He turned and walked towards Conker’s stable. “And how are you on this fine morning? Are you well?” He cast her a glance that spoke of their private tryst and the way he had kissed her with such passion.
She shook her head slowly. “I had such wonderful dreams of you, Edward, and then I awoke, and the fantasy was soundly shattered.”
“How so?” He sounded worried.
Do not fear, Edward. You did nothing wrong. I only wish we could continue as we did last night.
“My mother has arranged a meeting between me and the son of an Earl. I am expected to attend.”
He looked crestfallen. “Oh.”
“You must be assured, I will not marry him. I cannot, for…well, for my heart belongs to another.” It was a bold gesture of faith, but she felt an impulse to speak her truth. She had very little to lose in doing so, for her mother had already written her future for her.
“And if you are forced into it?”
“I will run.”
He smiled. “You must not put yourself in the way of harm, Lady Lydia.”
“For you, I would do anything.”
He turned to see her holding a fierce gaze. “It will no doubt see me hanged to say so, but I feel the same. I would run to the ends of the world with you, if you asked it of me. But I will not see your reputation in tatters for my sake.”
She flashed him a mischievous grin. “My mother will not be able to force my hand anytime soon. I have a plan.”
“I thought you had a flush about your cheeks. I confess, I hoped it was the sight of me that brought such roses to your cheeks, but I will accept another reason.” He chuckled, a shy expression moving across his handsome features.
“I intend to make my elder sister look as fair as possible, so that this Earl’s son will warm to her instead of me,” she said.
“There are none as fair as you, Lady Lydia. It is undoubtedly your gift, as well as your curse.” He did not sound too confident about her idea, but she would not be deterred.
“You have not seen what I can do with an elegant gown, a pot of rouge, and a hint of feminine trickery.”
“No, I have not. Is that the reason you are so bewitching? Is it this trickery you speak of?” He smiled at her.
She shook her head. “Not for you. I am as you see me.”
“Then, I believe you must have magic in your very blood.”
“You flatter me, Edward.” She blushed.
“No, My Lady, I speak only the truth.” He brought Conker out of her stable and began to tack her up with all the proper fittings. The horse looked just as pleased to see him as Lydia herself.
Emboldened, she stood from the haybale and crossed the stable. Gently, she lay her hand against the flat of Conker’s broad neck and stroked in steady lines. Edward stood beside her, and she could sense the heat and strength of him, his breath quickening at her proximity. Through the open collar of his shirt, she could see the taut muscle of his chest and imagined being held by him again.
What paradise lies in your arms, Edward?
“Do you care for some company this morning?” he asked.
“If it is you, always.”
He smiled and smoothed his own hand across Conker’s neck. Coming closer, she could smell the faint aroma of soap and sweat upon his skin. A heady perfume that made her abdomen tighten. She found that her own lungs were straining for breath as he drew nearer.
Hesitantly, he moved his arm around her and stroked Conker’s neck while standing flush behind her. The two of them kept their gaze forwards, but she could not ignore the desire that pulsed through her veins. If they were found like this, he would be cast out of the house. And yet, she longed for him to remain so very close to her.
“We will find ourselves in trouble,” Lydia murmured.
“I am only insuring the horse is comfortable, My Lady,” he replied, a hint of amusement in his voice.
“Is she so frightened?”
“The beast has been restless for your touch.”
An exquisite shiver bristled up her spine. “I have been restless, too.”
“You have?” She held her breath as his head dipped closer, his lips grazing the curve of her neck to her ear. “Then I must comfort you, too.” He kissed her neck again; the warmth of his breath sent a pleasant shiver down her arms.
His arm encircled her waist and pulled her nearer, her eyes closing as she felt a trail of tender kisses along the length of her neck and across her shoulder. She felt his sturdy, muscular hands as he held her; these were not the rough hands of a meager stable boy. And yet, if he could not remember, and she could not persuade her mother and father of his merit, this romance was doomed before it had even begun.
Perhaps I could run…
With his arms around her, the idea seemed all the more plausible. Maybe her rebellious streak could stretch that far. A lifetime of happiness was surely greater than a lifetime of misery, regardless of her parents’ perspective.
“We will be seen if we continue,” she whispered.
“I apologize, My Lady. I could not help myself.” He drew away and returned to his task, though he kept his gaze upon her. Her teeth grazed her lower lip in excitement; she was imagining what he would look like without any clothes. It was a thrilling thought however lewd such thoughts might be.
“If it satisfies you, I am feeling far calmer than I did a moment ago.”
“Then it was worth the danger,” he replied.
How I wish you and I were wed…The same impossible notion replayed in her mind, getting more desperate with each rotation. Still, it made her all the more determined to succeed. She would see Lord Chalmers fall in love with her sister, and in doing so, she would buy herself the time she sorely needed. She was not ready to give up her dream of Edward, yet.
A sudden noise disturbed them. A figure appeared at the far entrance to the stable, wandering in with a slow shuffle. Danson, the stablemaster, had come to attend to his daily duties. She could breathe freely again. A few moments earlier and they would have been discovered.
“Lady Lydia, I trust you are being well taken care of?” Danson said, approaching at his usual, unsteady pace. He was advancing in years and had the rheumy eyes that come with age. Lydia prayed that meant he had not spied anything untoward.
She nodded. “I am, Danson
. Thank you.”
“It is rather wonderful to have a young man about the place,” Danson remarked. “It has relieved my strain somewhat.”
“Yes, he is an excellent addition to the staff.”
“It will be a pity when he departs.”
Lydia frowned. “I do not follow.”
“Once his memory returns, he will leave us. No doubt he has a life, far from here. Isn’t that right, Edward?”
Edward smiled. “I do not know about that, Sir.”
“At your age, it would beggar belief if you did not have a family of your own, eagerly awaiting your return.” Danson’s expression suggested he might know more than he was letting on. Danson had always been loyal to her father. But how loyal? Would he betray what he knew?
“Perhaps, Sir.” Edward bowed his head and hurried on with his task.
“Why don’t you wait out in the paddock, Lady Lydia? The morning is a beautiful one, and fresh air is good for young lungs.” Danson gestured towards the opposite entrance where Lydia had come in.
“A splendid idea, Danson.” She worried that if Danson exposed them, then Edward’s freedom would be forfeit. Her father was a serene sort of man, but if he discovered the truth, he would not hesitate to have Edward thrown in gaol.
“I know Edward likes to accompany you on your morning rides, but I think it would be best if he remained behind today. There is fresh hay coming in, and I lack the strength to unload the cart.” Did a warning linger in Danson’s words?
Lydia nodded. “Of course, Danson.”
“In fact, it might be best if you do not come to the stables without me being present. It is unseemly for a young lady of your caliber to be out here without a chaperone. If you desire to ride, you must send word first,” Danson said.
So, he did see. Either that, or he overheard.
Her heart sank. “Certainly, Danson.”
If this was the price for him keeping their secret, then she had to pay it. I will find a way to be alone with you, Edward. You have my word on that.
Chapter 11
James stood at the window of the first floor of Summerhill Hall and watched in surprise as a hooded rider approached. He had spent the last few days riding around the local countryside, attempting to find any information about his brother’s whereabouts. His mother grew more fractious in the interim and eager to have her eldest son home. Her desperation grated on him somewhat, but he knew it came from a good place.
“What the devil?” James muttered to himself, before retreating down the winding staircase to meet the rider at the door. His shock increased as he saw the unexpected face before him.
“Cousin, I hoped you might be at home,” Adrian Godwin said, as he jumped down from his sleek black horse and walked up to the steps.
“Adrian? I was not expecting your arrival.” He tried to mask his displeasure. If Adrian was here, it would only spur on his mother’s grief at Edward’s absence. Calling in the proverbial cavalry had not been part of his itinerary.
“I received word of Edward’s disappearance, and knew I had to come to your aid.” Adrian looked up at the house. “I confess, it has been a long time since I have seen this place. I trust it has not changed much?”
“Unfortunately, not. Times have been rather tough here, and we are doing all we can to continue with the new wing and the repairs to the old ones. With my brother gone, it has been all the more trying.”
“Then we must find him, James.”
“I have been attempting to do so.” Another family member to doubt my ability, how marvelous.
“I can call upon some of my former battalion to assist. They are discreet, and they will not allow this terrible secret to reach anyone.”
James shook his head. “I would prefer to keep this between family only, until circumstances reach a more dire point.”
“He has been gone over a week, has he not?”
“He has.”
“Then I would say the circumstances have reached their direst point, Cousin.”
James stiffened. “Nevertheless, I would prefer to continue as I have been doing, until it becomes clear that we cannot find him alone. The risk is too great.”
“Very well, but just know that my men are at your disposal, should you change your mind,” Adrian said.
“As it happens, I have made some progress.”
Adrian’s face brightened. “You have?”
“There is a local man who may know something. I have arranged to meet with him in the morning, to discuss what he saw on the eve that Edward vanished. You see, Edward cannot have disappeared. He is out there, somewhere.” James was sure of it. “I will speak with this man, and we may ride out if we discover anything of use.”
Adrian nodded. “Of course. Is your mother at home, also?”
“She has not left her room in days.”
“Might I go to visit with her?”
James shrugged. “As you please. You will find her markedly altered, for Edward’s disappearance has taken its toll upon her.”
“That can only be expected.”
“Yes…I suppose you are right.”
Adrian eyed him uncertainly. “And you are sure that Edward did not say anything prior to his departure? There is no secret lover that we ought to know about, or any disgruntlement that might have led him to run?”
“I cannot think of any, though I have not thoroughly inspected his belongings.”
“Then, once I have spoken with your mother, perhaps we ought to start there?” Adrian tapped his chin in thought. “I learned much during my time in the military, and the truth is often right before our very eyes.”
Another slight upon my worthiness, Cousin?
It was a well-known fact that James had been given the opportunity to enter the military, and he had refused. He knew he might have made something of himself there, but he had not had the courage to abandon Summerhill Hall. Adrian had always held it against him, but that seemed to be a common theme in this household. No matter what he did, it was never quite good enough.
“Adrian, can it be you?” The Duchess was beside herself.
Adrian approached her bedside. He could not bear to see her in such a state. She did not look the way she once had, at the height of her elegance and glamor. Now, she lay propped against crisp pillows, her eyes vacant and her hands trembling.
“It is, Aunt. I have come to assist James in the search for Edward.”
She held a handkerchief to her mouth. “He has been gone for so long. We cannot keep the secret much longer. People will begin to wonder where he is, and I confess, I do not know what I shall tell them.”
“We will find him, Aunt.”
“And what if he is dead, Adrian? What if he is lying in a terrible ditch somewhere, having toppled from his steed? Nobody has found any sign of the horse, nor Edward. I fear it may be hopeless.” She wept quietly into her handkerchief, and Adrian felt his heart twist in his chest.
Poor woman.
“I do not believe he is dead, Aunt.” He did not speak entirely honestly, but he wanted to do all he could to put his Aunt’s mind at ease.
“How can you be sure?”
Adrian sighed and took his Aunt’s hand. “Because I know Edward. If he is in some sort of trouble, he will find a way out of it. All our childhood, he was an expert at such evasion. It stayed with him into adulthood. Wherever he is, he will be striving to make his way back to you.” Unless he has entangled himself in danger he cannot avoid, or has debts too high to pay back.
The change in Edward had been a slow one. He had not always been the rebellious child, but with the passing of his father, and the weight of the dukedom on his shoulders, his behavior had altered gravely. Edward had never wanted the responsibility. As soon as it was his, he turned to drinking and gambling—anything to remove himself from the pressures of the household.
The loss of his sister, Amy, had dealt a grievous blow to him, too. His father had never forgiven him for taking his eyes off her nor had he.
That day had persistently haunted him since, though he had never spoken of it. Adrian knew only because they had discussed it one evening, after one-too-many snifters of brandy.
“I pray that you are right, Adrian. If you are not…I do not know how I shall bear the pain.” Her saddened eyes conveyed her desperation.
“I am here now, Aunt. I will see that he is found.” He was distracted by a creak of a floorboard; he turned toward the noise. James lingered in the doorway, with a strained expression. Adrian could only imagine the pressure he was under to find his brother.
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