Sighing, she braced herself and wandered downstairs. She froze on the bottom step, her hand lingering uncertainly on the railing as she spotted Sebastian. He stood in front of the windows in the morning room. His back was to her, and his gaze remained focused on the grounds beyond. She watched as his spine straightened.
“Good morning, Taylor,” he greeted. He didn’t turn.
She swallowed, hating the painful ache in her throat. “Good morning.”
“Have you thought any about our conversation last night?”
The air left her in a shaky exhale. The steady drum of her heart started to beat faster. Gripping the railing, she nodded even though his back remained turned. “Yes, Sebastian.”
“And what conclusions have you drawn?” he asked. Clasping his hands behind his back, he rotated on his heel to face her.
“That…that I am going to stay here with you.”
He nodded and stepped forward. Encased in his work uniform, he appeared even more menacing. The black fabric encased his sleek muscles, rippling across them as he prowled closer. She lowered her gaze to the floor.
“I’m glad to hear it, Taylor. Is there anything else? Any other decisions you would like to share?”
“I…I won’t…”
“You won’t what?” he pressed quietly. His head tilted in question.
She shivered as he approached the bottom of the stairs and the warm, woodsy scent of him rolled across her. “I won’t leave the house without you.”
He stared at her for a long moment and nodded. “Good,” he said, turning away. He strolled back to his spot in front of the windows. “As you may have noticed, the security team arrived this morning.” His tone was light, almost conversational. “They’ve been put into place and, should you have a sudden change of heart, they will enforce compliance. They will also place a phone call to me, and I assure you, that is not a call you want them to make.”
Ice entombed her. Dropping onto the step, she lowered her chin to her chest and closed her eyes. Her chin trembled with her efforts not to cry. It seemed so stupid. She’d assumed as much when she’d seen them. But his tone, his cold and distant demeanor, made things feel infinitely worse. This, this was lock and key. There was no hint, no trace of the man she knew and loved. Only a callous replacement. Was this her punishment?
“I see this information doesn’t please you. You would do well to get over it, Taylor. I prefer you do so before I get home.”
“Sebastian?” She felt his gaze settle on her. She still could not bring herself to look him in the eye. “Do…do you want me to make you something to eat before you go?”
“Something to eat? No,” he said with a reproachful shake of his head. “No, Taylor. Food isn’t what I want from you.”
“What do you want? Please, tell me what to do—how to fix this, please.”
“You’re a smart girl. You figure it out.”
Her heart shattered with the closing of the door. She shook, fighting back screams of frustration and anguish as she listened to the whir of the garage door. It opened and closed. Torturous seconds ticked by as she clung to the fragile threads of her composure. Gouging her fists into her thighs, she waited until the Benz was clear of the house. Then, she let go. Pummeling the steps, she gave into the dreaded pull of her emotions and cried.
Josh’s purposeful strides faltered upon seeing him, as did his crooked smile of greeting. Tension coiled through Sebastian’s shoulders, making the muscles throb. The last thing he felt like doing this morning was engaging in idle chitchat. His thoughts, his focus, remained centered at home. It didn’t bode well for his performance or his mood. All he could think about was Taylor, and how her reaction the night before had damn near shattered him. What the hell was she thinking? A simple jest between them had turned into a brutal dose of reality. Had he been joking? He wasn’t sure, but one thing was abundantly clear. The things—the life he offered her weren’t enough. He’d expected she wouldn’t be happy with the lockdown. What he hadn’t seen coming was her defiance and getting the distinct impression she wanted to leave. His stomach tightened.
All that after promising him forever only seconds before. What was he supposed to think—to believe?
Offering a curt nod in his partner’s direction, Sebastian kept walking. He growled beneath his breath as Josh jogged down the brightly lit corridor to approach his side.
“Wow. You look like shit. Rough night?”
“Late night. Let’s leave it at that. How is my sister?”
“She’s good, Baas. She’s safe. She wasn’t too happy at the prospect of a lockdown and armed security guards patrolling the place with Mia running around, but she’s been through the drill enough to know this is part of the turf. How’d Taylor take the news?”
He snorted. “Not well.”
“Care to elaborate on that any?”
“No.”
Josh came to an abrupt halt outside their station and blocked the doors. Concern rode his rugged features and the curiosity weighing in his eyes earned him a dour glare.
“My personal life is none of your business, Josh. Are you really going to make me ask you to move?”
“Yeah, Baas, I am,” he said with a regretful nod. His hands spread at his sides. “If you want to hit me, hit me, but I’m not letting you go in there until you get your head on straight. It’s my job to watch out for you, and you can tell me your personal life is none of my business all you want, but you lost the right to play that card the day you asked me to watch over Monique.”
Sebastian pinned him with a look of utter disgust.
“Unbelievable,” he muttered, shaking his head.
Grinding his teeth, he displaced his partner with a double-handed shove. His fingers closed around the doorknob, but before he could pull it open, Josh knocked him aside with a push of his own. Challenge rose in the blue depths of his partner’s stare, and his shoulders straightened with his glare.
“I’m not playing here, Baas. You go in there with that attitude, and someone is going to get hurt. Get whatever it is off your chest. This is me you’re talking to here.”
He snorted. “Is that supposed to mean something to me?”
Josh’s face fell beneath a wave of disbelief and anger. “How can you even say that to me?”
“Me? Let’s talk about you. Did you think I was too blind to see that you love my sister? You’ve always loved her, and when Dane died, I stepped aside. I let you take care of my family. My family, Josh, and then you…” he shook his head and plowed a hand through his hair. “You have the audacity to throw that in my face? If you don’t want to watch over Monique, fine,” he said, casting his arms out in a shrug. “Just say the word, but don’t you ever try to use that against me again.”
"Jesus, Baas! You know that isn’t the case. What I'm saying here is that you trust me with something as precious as your own blood, but you can't trust me enough to vent to me and get it off your fucking chest so that you can do your damn job? Come on man!”
Sebastian gave a dry laugh and took a step back. “What do you want from me? Do you want to hear about how I spent my night promising Taylor the rest of my life? Or how about the part where she threw it all back at me? Do you want to hear about how she looks at me trying to protect her as keeping her a prisoner? Or how about the part where I just had enough and said goodnight by putting a fucking gun to her head? Is that open enough for you? Is that enough sharing?”
Josh gaped at him before quickly snapping his mouth shut.
“Jesus Christ, Baas!” He raked his fingers through his hair and released a shaky exhale. “Okay…it’s okay. We’re going to get you through this. Do you want me to come by after work? I can try to explain things to her, make her understand…”
“There is nothing to explain. I made my point perfectly clear last night.”
“Yeah, but is that really the way you want to leave things? You love this girl. Is this the way you want things between you?”
He shrugged
. “What I want doesn’t matter. Things have changed, Josh. I need to focus on what has to be done.”
“That’s not true. She’s new to all of this, Seb. Monique wasn’t thrilled with the concept at first either. It took her a while to learn the ropes and fall into place. Hell, I still have to knock her back there from time to time. This shit happens. Your first priority right now is keeping her safe, not making her happy. It sucks, but that’s the way things gotta be. Call her. Tell her to take extra food out for dinner. I’ll grab Monique, and maybe between the three of us, we can sit down and get this headache straightened out…okay?”
Sebastian mulled the offer over for a long moment. Sighing, he offered a reluctant nod. “Yeah. Okay.” He lowered his gaze for a moment. His next words came with effort, and were nothing more than a soft whisper issued between them. “Thank you.”
Josh cupped the back of his head and gave his hair an affectionate ruffle. “Don’t mention it.”
Knocking his hand away, Sebastian’s shoulders jerked with a wry snort, and he gave their surroundings a pointed look. “Believe me, I won’t.”
Taylor huddled deeper into the folds of her long sweater jacket. She shivered and pressed closer to the stove, seeking warmth from the burners. The soft fleece had done little to dispel the chill settled into her bones. Her entire body seemed to ache with a miserable combination of cold and dread. From time to time, her gaze would wander outside to the dark forms patrolling the grounds. Mostly, it remained centered on her brief conversation with Sebastian. He’d been curt, his voice lending no indication his mood was any better than it had been that morning. She’d been scared enough pondering what his return home might mean, but the added threat Josh posed was almost enough to send her over the edge. They were going to kill her, and thanks to her severed ties with her family, no one would ever know.
Wiping at the raw patches beneath her eyes with the back of her sleeve, she drew a shuddering breath and turned down the heat. She stared at the thickening sauce for a moment, her mind turning back to the first time Sebastian had made it. It was her first time in this house. The mushroom ravioli had been the first dish they’d ever made together. Had that been a conscious decision on her part? She bit her lip, trying to remember. Gripping the counter on either side of the stove, she stilled another violent tremble and wondered if she would ever get warm enough, sane enough, not to shake.
She whirled at the whir of the garage door and froze. Her fingers tightened on the counter when the laundry room door swung open and her gaze darted to Sebastian. Part of her wanted to run to him and beg his forgiveness, offer to help him with his coat, anything to worm her way back into his good graces. The other stood riveted, motionless by the sight of Josh strolling through the door behind him. Her mouth opened and closed around a soundless greeting.
Closing her eyes, she sent up a silent prayer, begging they at least make it quick. When she opened them, she found Sebastian staring at her. His pale gaze bore into her, drilling clear down to her soul as his head tilted in thoughtful reflection. Her entire body tensed as he approached. The look of pity on Monique’s face was almost enough to make her cry again.
He lifted his hand and she tried desperately not to slam her eyes shut and flinch. She couldn’t help the pleading whimper that broke in the base of her throat. The brush of his fingers was jarring. They were so cold they felt like ice when they trailed across her brow. His quiet curse threatened to stop her heart.
“You’re burning up,” he stated in a soft whisper.
“I have some Tylenol in my purse,” Monique offered, already fumbling with the clasp. She shook two pills out and offered them to Taylor.
Sebastian stepped in and took them from his sister instead. He indicated toward the other room with a nod of his head.
“Go sit down, Taylor. You’ve done enough.”
Tears threatened at his comment. Her gaze flittered uncertainly to the stove before shifting back to him in pleading.
“It’s okay,” Monique soothed. “I got this. Go sit.”
“The noodles only have two more minutes.”
“I think I can manage,” the blonde said, with a wink. “Stir, drain, rinse, cool. I know the routine.”
Crossing the room, she settled onto the couch, wringing her hands in her lap. It hadn’t escaped her attention that the little girl was nowhere in sight. She bit her lip. Surely, Monique wouldn’t leave her child behind when they were under some sort of threat. Unless…she couldn’t bring herself to finish the thought. She startled as Sebastian dropped onto the seat next to her. He held out a bottle of pineapple and mango juice in one hand and the Tylenol in his other. The room seemed to darken as Josh’s shadow fell over them. Cringing inside, she took the pills and swallowed them.
“You should have told me you still weren’t feeling well, Taylor.”
“I didn’t think it would matter,” she confessed, her cheeks burning even hotter.
Sebastian’s brow furrowed. “Why would you think that?”
“Be-because you’re mad at me.” Her chin quivered.
Sighing, he reclined against the couch and let his head fall back to rest against the ledge. Josh took a seat in a matching leather chair.
“I think what Baas is trying to say here is yes he’s upset, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Last night wasn’t the best way of showing it but believe me, that’s what this entire situation boils down to. You’re hurt. He’s hurt, and the rest of us are pretty much fucked until this whole thing is straightened out.” He offered her a faint smile. “You have no idea the mood I had to put up with this morning. Neither one of us would be sitting here now if Marx had heard us. We’d both be going through some reprogramming.”
Her attention darted to the kitchen at the distinct clatter of a spoon. Monique retrieved it off the floor and straightened with an apologetic smile. A low whistle pulled her focus back to Josh.
“I’m going to give you the long and the short of it here, honey. Baas wasn’t trying to be mean when he told you not to leave the house without him. I know he filled you in on our situation, and this guy—his family—they’re nothing to play around with. Monique is under the same restrictions and surveillance. It sucks, but that’s the way it has to be. For your safety, as well as Sebastian’s. If he’s worried about you he’s not focusing, and in our line of work, one slip up is enough to get you killed. You follow me so far?”
She nodded.
“Good. Any questions?”
“How…how long is Monique under this lockdown?”
“Until Baas decides otherwise. He’s making the calls here. Not just for you, but for the entire team. Right now, no one’s family is unprotected. Some of that protection is just more visible than others. I hate to say it, princess, but this is all a part of the routine.” He took a deep breath and rubbed a hand over his short hair. “As for the part about you leaving…” His lips flattened in a grim press. “I told you before, that wasn’t going to happen. A huge part of that is Sebastian…but the truth is, you know things, you’ve seen things that push you well into the far too late category. Honestly, you hit that point that first day in the woods. Baas is the one that saved you. Had it been up to me, I would have pulled the trigger.”
“Josh…”
He glanced up at Sebastian’s warning. “Hey, it’s the truth. No offense, Taylor. Business is business, but you’re in this now and there’s no getting out. That gun to your head last night is nothing compared to what could happen. You’re lucky it was Baas, and not someone who saw you as a threat.”
“That’s what I don’t understand. What is this thing? What is it that you guys do?”
“You haven’t told her?” Disbelief slackened Josh’s face.
Sebastian’s jaw tightened as he shook his head. “No.”
Josh threw his hands in the air. “Sorry, but I’m not touching this one. It’s your call. Either way, this one is all you.”
“I’m sorry to interrupt, but dinner is done.�
�
Josh levered out of the chair and hurried into the kitchen to help Monique. Taylor was pretty certain he was just eager to escape the heavy pall and tension hanging over the room. She couldn’t blame him. Sebastian remained seated beside her. Dark smudges rimmed his pale eyes, and his expression was tired, drawn. Even his shoulders were slumped, as if the weight of the entire world had suddenly settled over them. A long, quiet sigh broke the silence and he finally lifted his gaze. Her eyes drifted shut as he reached up and gently palmed the back of her neck.
“I will tell you everything after dinner. For now…please…come eat with me.”
“Sebastian?”
He silenced her with a forefinger. His expression became pinched and even more exhausted. “Not now, Taylor. Whatever it is you may or may not be thinking, please just save it until after I’ve had my say. I’m sure you’ll come to regret enough as it is.”
The meal was hushed. No sound broke the room except for the light scrape of forks against china. She could feel Monique’s sympathetic stare, but Sebastian’s eyes weighed the heaviest. Like her, he barely touched his food. He seemed to be going through the motions, but whatever part of him gave life and vitality was detached—gone. Her fear had given way to concern. Not for herself, but for him. She ached to reach over and touch his hand. It wasn’t long before he pushed his plate away with a rueful shake of his head.
“Is your food okay?” she asked worriedly.
Sinister Kisses (The SKALS Series) Page 23