by Alice Ward
“Just a few hours,” Renee replied with a yawn. “We had to keep him up all night because of the concussion. His eyes started dilating properly this morning, so they gave him some sleeping medicine.”
“Have you had any rest at all? Do you need anything? I could go get you some food, or run to the Wal-Mart and grab a fresh change of clothes,” I offered.
“Thank you, sweetheart, but I’m fine,” she insisted. “The cafeteria food is actually pretty good, and your dad is bringing me some clothes when he comes back this evening. I can’t tell you how much it’s meant having both of you here. I’ve felt so alone since Gus passed… I don’t think I could have dealt with this on my own.”
I reached over and took her hand. Renee was a good person and, despite the fact that I didn’t like the idea of her and Daddy together, I hated seeing her in so much pain. “We’re happy to be here,” I told her. “And I’m glad you’re going to be staying with us once James is released. How did he react when you told him you don’t want him riding bulls anymore?”
Renee let out a grunt-like laugh. “About as well as I expected him too. Even after all of this, he still seems to think he’s invincible. I don’t know what I’m going to do with him. He’s been so reckless ever since his father died. I think he still blames himself…”
I looked at her. “I thought that Gus was killed by a drunk driver. Why in the world would James blame himself for that?” I asked. “I’m sorry… I understand if it’s too painful to talk about,” I added as tears ran down Renee’s face.
“It’s okay,” she said, wiping her eyes.
James stirred in the bed and we both turned to him with our full attention. His eyes remained shut and a few moments later, his snoring resumed.
Renee lowered her voice. “Gus was hit by a drunk driver. He and James argued that night. James wanted to go to a party, but we knew that his friend’s parents were out of town so we told him he had to stay home. James snuck out and Gus went to find him… that’s when he was hit. I wish you’d known James before Gus’s accident. He was such a sweet, loving little boy. But after Gus died, James put up some pretty thick walls…”
I tried to imagine how he felt and my sympathy for him ran deep. I’d lost a parent too. I can’t imagine how it would feel to believe I was the cause of my mother’s death. “Yes, I’ve noticed that he’s kind of hard to get close to,” I confessed, not knowing what else to say.
Renee nodded. “He shut out practically everyone. I’m not oblivious. Willow. I know my son’s reputation with women. Most people think that he’s a player, but I know that deep down, he’s still just a scared little boy. He’s afraid to get too close to anyone. He doesn’t want to go through the pain of another loss.”
I looked at James again and saw him in a new light. “That’s understandable,” I said.
“I’m so glad that we’re staying with you and Cole for a while. James could use a real friend, Willow. I do hope you’ll take the time to get to know him.”
“I’d like that, Renee,” I replied honestly.
“Once he trusts you, maybe you can convince him to stay off of the bulls. Part of me wonders if he thinks he deserves to die for what happened to Gus. I need help showing him that that’s not the case. The only person responsible for my husband’s death is the man who drank a pint of vodka and got behind the wheel.”
“I don’t know how much help I’ll be, but I promise I’ll do my best,” I assured her.
“Thank you, sweetheart.”
Renee let out another long yawn and I realized that she needed to sleep just as much as James did.
“I’m going to leave so you can get some sleep,” I insisted. “Please call me if you need anything.”
“I will. Thank you for everything, Willow.”
“You’re more than welcome.”
CHAPTER 6
“For the last time, this is completely unnecessary,” James insisted. “All I want to do is go home and sleep in my own bed.”
It was Saturday afternoon and James had just been discharged from the hospital. I’d stayed back at the ranch to put the final touches on the cabin while Daddy picked up Renee and James.
“Honey, I’ve already explained this to you,” Renee said patiently. “I still have to work and I want to keep you close. You’ve got a long recovery ahead of you and I can’t do everything by myself.”
James moved slowly through the living room and gingerly sat on the couch. He had two black eyes, a busted lip, and a long gash down the side of his face. His ribs were wrapped tightly in ace bandages, leaving a tale-tell bulge under his t-shirt.
“I don’t need taken care of,” he insisted again. “I’ll be fine.”
“James, you gave your mother quite a scare. Please indulge her and try to make yourself comfortable here,” Daddy said sternly. “I promise as soon as your doctors clear you to go back to work, I’ll move all of your things home myself.”
James looked irritated. “Move my things home? What all have you hauled over here? And who the hell went through my stuff?”
“James Michael Parker, watch your language,” Renee scolded. “I packed your things. I thought you’d like to have your DVDs, video games, and music here. I also brought plenty of clothes and Willow was kind enough to stock the fridge with all of your favorite foods. Cole has been good enough to take care of us; the least you could do is show a little appreciation.”
James frowned and looked at me. “Did you get me any whiskey?”
“I… I didn’t think you could have that… with the painkillers,” I mumbled. I’d expected James to be cranky, but the hostility in his voice rattled me.
“Of course you can’t have whiskey,” Renee told him. “You heard what Dr. Matthews said. Your liver and spleen are bruised. You’re lucky you didn’t lose one of them… or both. Absolutely no alcohol until we’re sure your insides have healed.”
James scowled. “If I’m going to be stuck in this god forsaken cabin, you could at least let me have a little fun. Where’s my truck? Has anyone picked it up from the Houser’s?”
“Your truck is where you left it,” Renee told him. “And that’s exactly where it’s going to stay until you’re back on your feet. I won’t have you sneaking away while we’re all working. And you’re not stuck in the cabin. Dr. Matthews said that you can walk around the ranch as much as you’d like. The fresh air will be good for you.”
“I brought Seven over and put him in the stables,” I told him. “When you feel up to it, I’d be happy to walk down there with you so you can visit him.”
“I don’t need a fucking babysitter,” he insisted hotly.
Renee’s face flushed red and I knew she was embarrassed by her son’s behavior. “I’m sorry, I’m sure this is just the pain talking,” she told us.
“Of course,” Daddy said. “Willow and I will leave and let the two of you get settled. I had Dallas put televisions in both of the bedrooms, and there are clean towels in the bathroom closet. If you need anything at all, please don’t hesitate to call us.”
“Thank you, Cole,” Renee said with a grateful smile. She and Daddy hugged and I turned to James.
“I left my number on the counter. If you get bored and decide you want company, you know how to find me.”
He nodded without looking at me, his jaw still clenched. Daddy and I said our goodbyes and left them in the cabin.
“I’m sorry you had to see him like that,” Daddy told me. He’d driven Renee and James to the ranch in Renee’s car. We left it outside the cabin and walked to the main house. Daddy wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we made our way home.
“I wasn’t expecting him to be so… hateful,” I confessed.
“I understand where he’s coming from,” Daddy said. “He’s a young, independent man. I’m sure he’d be more comfortable at his house, but I’m afraid Renee would worry herself ragged if she had to leave him there every day while she came here to work. I offered to give her some paid time off, but she ref
used… I guess she has an independent streak as well.”
I took a deep breath and asked the question that had been nagging at my brain for the last few weeks. “Daddy… are you and Renee dating?”
He chuckled. “Have you seen us go anywhere? I’ve been home with you every night.”
I looked at him with narrowed eyes. “You know what I meant. Do you have feelings for her?”
Daddy looked up at the sky and took a deep breath before looking back down at me. “Renee and I have a lot in common, Willow. We’ve both lost spouses, raised children on our own… I admire her. If we were dating, would you be okay with it?”
“No,” I answered without hesitation.
He stopped walking and looked at me, his eyebrow raised. “That was a quick answer. I take it you’ve been thinking about this for a while?”
“It’s been pretty obvious that you ‘admire’ her. I’ve been waiting for you to come clean with me.” I resumed our walk and he moved with me.
“Don’t you like Renee?” Daddy asked. “You certainly seem to…”
“She’s not my mother,” I insisted.
“Well, of course she’s not, pumpkin. I still miss your mom every day. But she’s been gone for almost twenty years, Willow. And I know she wouldn’t want me to pass up on a chance of happiness. Rose would want the best for both of us.”
“So you are dating,” I said. I didn’t try to hide the disdain in my voice. I wiggled out from under Daddy’s arm and moved a few paces in front of him.
“Sweetheart, don’t run away from me,” he insisted, his voice stern. I turned and looked at him.
“Renee and I are getting to know each other better, that’s all. I enjoy her company. We haven’t made any commitments… but I hope that will change soon.”
I raised an eyebrow. “How soon? And what kind of ‘commitments’ are we talking about?”
“I haven’t put a time frame on anything, Willow,” he said as we stepped on to the front porch. “I just want you to understand that Renee is important to me. I’d like for her to be important to you too. Could you please just give her a chance?”
I stopped at the front door and stared at him for a moment. “Does James know about this?”
“I don’t think so. And I think you’ll agree that right now isn’t the best time to mention it to him. I promise, if things become more serious, you’ll be the first to know. You haven’t answered my question. Will you give her a chance? Surely you don’t want me to grow old alone.”
“You’re not alone,” I argued. “You have me.”
Daddy smiled. “Yes, I do. But you’ll have a family of your own one day. You won’t want your old dad hanging out with you all the time.”
“That’s not true,” I said quickly, then realized how selfish I was being. “But if it’s that important to you, I promise I’ll keep an open mind about Renee.”
“Thank you, pumpkin. That’s all I ask.”
***
“Willow, you look stunning,” Bradley said as Daddy and I took our seats in the ballroom. It was Saturday night, a week after Daddy brought James and Renee to the ranch. We were joining Bradley and his parents at a benefit for the ASPCA.
“Thank you,” I said as I smoothed the bodice of my ice blue gown.
“I just love what you’ve done with your hair,” Bradley’s mom, Jan, added.
“It does look lovely, doesn’t it?” Daddy said. “Renee did it.”
“So Renee and James are still at the ranch then?” Bradley asked. The hostility in his voice filled the air, but if Daddy noticed it, he didn’t let on.
“Yes… it’s been great having them there. Renee has been a godsend, and I think James is finally starting to heal,” Daddy told them.
Bradley frowned and looked at me. “Have you been spending much time with the bull rider?” By the tone of his voice, he may as well have asked if I’d been spending time with Satan.
I resented the fact that Bradley thought who I spent time with was any of his business. I was about to open my mouth and tell him so when Daddy spoke again.
“Don’t worry, Bradley, no one’s moving in on your girl,” he said with a casual laugh.
“I’m no one’s girl,” I reminded everyone.
“Not yet anyway,” Dale said. “But I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before my son’s won you over for good.”
Why the hell did I agree to come to this? I told Daddy Renee could have my ticket. I’d much rather be back at the ranch with James… I wonder how he’s doing.
All of the new arrivals at the ranch had made for a busy week. We had a total of one hundred and three calves and sixty-four foals. Just checking the pastures and making sure all of them were still alive took six hours a day. I’d barely had time to sleep, much less go to the cabin to check on James. I’d hoped he would call and ask me to visit, but I hadn’t spoken to him since the day he got out of the hospital. Daddy and Renee gave me updates on his progress, and I tried not to seem too eager for the news.
“Now now, Dale,” Daddy said. “I want the kids together as much as you do, but we can’t force it.”
Then why do you keep trying?
A waitress appeared at the table and I ordered a Jack and Coke.
“Since when do you drink whiskey?” Bradley asked.
I ignored the question and turned to Jan. “Thank you so much for the basket of produce you sent over. With everything that’s been going on lately, we didn’t have time to plant our garden this year. Renee says that vegetable beef soup is James’s favorite. I thought I’d use what you sent me to make him some tomorrow.”
“You’re more than welcome, Willow,” Jan said with a smile. Unlike Daddy and Dale, Jan didn’t seem to care if I dated her son or not. “I over planted this year, so I’ll keep the baskets coming.”
I thanked her again just as the waitress returned with our drink orders. The MC took to the stage, introduced the guest speaker for the evening, and explained that dinner would be served during his presentation.
Thank God… that means I won’t have to carry on small talk. Maybe I can convince Daddy to leave after dessert is served.
The guests lingering around the open bar made their way to their tables as uniformed servers carried large trays into the room. Dr. Wilma Baker, the president of the charity’s Colorado chapter, took to the stage and began her lecture.
“Welcome, and on behalf of all the animals you’re helping, thank you for coming this evening. I’ve been asked to let you know that the silent auction will close before tonight’s band begins their performance. Be sure to check your bid sheet as soon as you’re finished eating! I’d like to begin my presentation by telling you about some of our success stories…”
A waiter appeared and sat a plate of grilled salmon and vegetables in front of me. I ordered another drink and asked him to keep them coming. As I ate, I zoned out on the presentation and let images of my night with James fill my head. Before I knew it, the dinner and lecture portion of the evening was over and the band stepped on stage. I turned to Daddy.
“I’m getting tired… can we go home soon?”
“Why don’t we stay a little while longer?” he asked. “We got here late. I’d hate to leave early. And I didn’t have a chance to look at the auction tables.”
I rolled my eyes impatiently. “Daddy, you don’t need anything,” I argued.
“I know, but it’s all for a good cause, pumpkin. Let’s stay for another hour. Renee and Matt are already planning on covering for you in the morning. I know you’re tired, but you’ll be able to sleep in tomorrow.”
Daddy, Dale, and Jan left the table. Bradley and I stared at each other awkwardly for a moment and then I turned back to my drink.
“What’s wrong with you, Willow?” Bradley asked.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m tired, that’s all.”
He shook his head. “You’re forgetting that I know you well enough to realize when you’re lying. You’ve been dis
tracted all night. You’ve barely said two words since you got here.”
I turned and stared at him with narrowed eyes. “Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think.”
The waiter delivered my fourth Jack and Coke and I drank it down in one gulp.
“See, this is exactly what I’m talking about. You’ve been downing whiskey like its water, you rolled your eyes at your dad… I can’t say that I’m crazy about your new attitude.”
I nearly sneered, but stopped myself before I jumped over the line of total rudeness. “I apologize. I didn’t realize I had to consider your opinion before ordering a cocktail.”
I knew I was being unnecessarily hostile, but I was tired of Bradley and everyone else assuming that we’d end up together. I wanted to put an end to it, once and for all. If I had to hurt his feelings in the process, so be it.
“I don’t think that your new houseguest is a good influence on you,” he insisted. “How long until James Parker and his contagious attitude go back to where they came from?”
“James isn’t my houseguest. He and Renee are staying in one of the staff cabins. And they can stay as long as they’d like.”
“I don’t know what your father was thinking, letting trash like that onto the ranch,” Bradley continued. It was if he wasn’t hearing me at all. “I mean, Renee seems nice enough. But if she was really a good person, her son would have turned out better. I know James can be charming... in that slimy, player way. But you’ll see. Once you get away from him for a while, you’ll snap out of this mood you’ve been in. Maybe then we can be happy.”
I sighed. “Bradley, if I was going to fall in love with you, it would have happened a long time ago. I’m sorry… I really am. But you’ve got to let go of this fantasy that you and I are going to end up together. And you need to get your dad to back off too. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it makes me when he makes comments about us?”
Bradley straightened up in his seat and took a sip of his Pinot Grigio. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. That cowboy has gotten into your head, I know he has. But he can’t make you happy, Willow. He can’t give you the kind of life you’re accustomed to. For Christ’s sake, he’s poor. You just don’t know what’s good for you, that’s all. But you’ll realize it soon enough. For your sake, I hope my patience can outlast your confusion.”