by Alice Ward
“The other option is to do coronary bypass surgery—”
“But that’s open heart surgery,” Renee gasped and covered her hips with her fingers. “That’s too dangerous.”
“The surgery isn’t as radical as it sounds,” the doctor assured us. “And it’s not nearly as dangerous as it used to be. In fact, there’s a cardiologist in Denver that uses a surgical robot and minimally invasive techniques. Her name is Dr. Gulley. She’d take a small vessel from Cole’s leg and use it to bypass the blocked artery in his heart.”
“What types of risks are involved with something like that?” I asked. “And how long would Daddy’s recovery time be?”
“I don’t want to give you a false sense of security,” he said gravely. “There are risks involved with any surgery, more so when the patient has a heart condition. But I’m confident that Cole is strong enough to survive the procedure, barring any unforeseen complications.”
“And what are the advantages of having the surgery, versus the angioplasty and stent?” I pressed. I was determined to make the right decision and I needed as much information as possible.
“Cole will have to make some significant diet and lifestyle changes, but the surgery greatly decreases his chances of having another heart attack,” Dr. Mains assured me.
“Then that’s what I want to do,” I said firmly. “How soon can he be moved to Denver?”
Renee stiffened beside me. “That’s ridiculous, Willow,” she insisted, looking at me as if I’d grown two heads. “The balloon thing is much less invasive. We’ll do that, and if his blockage comes back we can revisit the surgical option… with Cole involved in the decision.”
A confused look spread across Dr. Mains’ face and he looked back and forth between me and Renee. James let his arm fall to his side and took a few steps back so he was no longer between us.
All of the worry I felt for Daddy turned to rage as I shifted my weight to face Renee. “If the blockage comes back, he could have another heart attack, Renee. That means more of his heart would die. Which means he’d be weaker and frailer… which he would hate. I may not be a doctor, but I’m smart enough to know that. I want him to be healthy and happy for as long as possible and it sounds like this surgery is the best way to make that happen.” I turned back to the doctor. “Please, arrange for my father to be transferred to Denver as soon as possible.”
“Don’t even think about it,” Renee snapped, her face tight with anger. “You’re not the only one who loves Cole. You don’t have the right to make this decision.”
My blood boiled and Dr. Mains turned to me with a grimace. “I’m sorry, but your mother is right. As his wife, she has final say on his care.”
“She’s not my mother,” I growled. “And she’s not his wife. I’m his only child, and I’m an adult, which makes this my decision. And I’ve made it. Please, make the arrangements to have him moved.”
Dr. Mains nodded and shot Renee an apologetic look. “I typically don’t like to act when families aren’t in agreement, but as I’ve already said, time is of the essence. I’ll make the necessary calls. One of you can ride along on the Medivac flight…”
“That will be me,” I interjected, my voice firm, just on the edge of screaming.
The doctor nodded again and turned to James. “It will take an hour or so to finalize the arrangements. If you leave for Denver now, you won’t get there much later than Cole and Willow.”
James nodded, his jaw set and his eyes narrowed. I couldn’t tell if he was upset with me for overruling his mother’s wishes and I didn’t particularly care. “We’ll get on the road immediately.”
Dr. Mains turned back to me. “Sit tight, Willow. A nurse will be out with some paperwork for you to fill out. And for what it’s worth, I think you’ve made the right decision. The surgery would be my choice if one of my loved ones was in Cole’s shoes.”
I thanked the doctor again and after shaking all of our hands, he disappeared back through the double doors. Renee turned to me and burst into tears.
“How… could you… do this?” she sobbed. “It’s so dangerous, Willow. It’s so…”
My nerves were frayed, my heart was breaking, and I was in no mood for Renee’s blubbering or hysterics.
“Dangerous would be letting the doctors do a half ass patch job in the cath lab,” I hissed. “Or is that what you want?” Confusion and hurt spread across her face, but it didn’t slow me down. “You don’t want to grow old with my father. You want him to waste away while you spend all of his money. Hell, if this had happened after the wedding, you’d probably just let him die.”
“Willow!” James said in a sharp, harsh whisper. Renee collapsed in tears and James caught her just before she hit the floor.
“You’re completely out of line,” he continued, scolding me as he comforted his mother. “My mother loves Cole. She’s terrified right now, can’t you see that?”
I could, but I didn’t want to admit it. I couldn’t care about Renee’s pain when mine was so consuming. But I knew that Daddy wouldn’t want me to be so unkind, so I reluctantly apologized.
“Renee, I’m sorry,” I sighed. “I honestly believe that the surgery is the right way to go. But I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.”
Renee took a deep breath and wiped her tears. “I know you’re upset and on edge. But if something happens to him, I won’t survive it.”
James wrapped her in a hug. “Cole’s strong. He’ll get through this,” he said to Renee. He looked at me over her shoulder. “We’ll all get through this.”
“Ms. Rogers… the doctor needs you to fill out these forms,” said a quiet voice. I turned and found a short, elderly woman with a kind face holding a clipboard.
“Yes, of course,” I said, taking the paperwork from her hand. I turned back to James. “You two should probably get on the road. I’ll call if anything happens before we land in Denver.”
He nodded and slung Renee’s purse over his shoulder. He put a hand on the small of her back and pointed her towards the door. “I’ll call home and tell everyone what’s going on,” he offered.
I nodded. “Thank you. And thank Dallas for holding things down at the ranch. Tell him I’ll call as soon as Daddy’s out of surgery.”
James softened his eyes and I could tell he longed to pull me in his arms, to press mine in comfort. But it wasn’t the time or place to spring our relationship on Renee so with a sad smile, I said goodbye and turned my attention to the stack of paperwork in my hands.
***
“Willow…? Willow, I brought you a cup of coffee,” Matt said, gently elbowing my ribs. I stirred in my plastic chair and tried to stretch the kink out of my neck.
“Here, you take this and I’ll get that,” Matt offered. I took the coffee from his hands and he massaged my tight, sore muscles.
“I can’t thank you enough for coming,” I said as I stared across the waiting room at James and Renee. James stared back at me helplessly while Renee’s eyes remained fixed on the door. She was furious that I’d agreed to the surgery and I was starting to wonder if she’d ever look at me again.
“There’s nowhere else I’d be,” Matt assured me as he put firm pressure on the knot in my shoulder.
I glanced at the black, industrial wall clock and nervously bit my lip. Three hours had passed since they’d taken Daddy in to surgery and I was anxious for news. I was terrified for him, and Renee’s icy shoulder had me second guessing my decision.
“Matt… did I do the right thing?”
“Of course you did, Willow. Essentially, his pipes were clogged. He may have gotten by with a patch job for a while but eventually, the plumbing was going to have to be replaced. It’s best to do it now, while Cole’s still relatively strong.”
I curled up against Matt’s shoulder. He released the pressure from my knot and rested his hand on my head.
“You always make me feel better,” I said. “I just wish Renee could see your logic. She’s been acting like
I handed Daddy a death sentence,” I added under my breath. I looked longingly at James, but I knew he could never cross the room to comfort me. His mother was too upset, and it was all my fault.
“Renee’s scared, Willow,” Matt said patiently, stroking my hair. “None of us saw this coming, and Cole could have died. No one saw Gus’s accident coming either, and he did die. I’m sure this has brought back a lot of painful feelings for her. It was only natural that she’d want to take the less scary approach with treatment.”
“Less immediately scary… not less scary in the long run,” I corrected him with a pout.
“Point taken,” he agreed and gave my shoulder another squeeze. “I’m sure once Cole is back on his feet, Renee will understand that you did the right thing. She’ll probably even thank you for it.”
“I hope so,” I said. I needed to think about anything but my father lying unconscious in an operating room, so I turned the conversation to the ranch. “Have you checked in at home? I promised to keep everyone updated…”
Matt nodded, his stubbly chin scratching against the side of my forehead. “I called Lucas while I was at the coffee machine. Dallas called a ranch meeting and told everyone what happened. Mary made dinner down at the bunkhouse, and everyone’s gathered there waiting for news. Lucas is going to spend the night with the foals, so you don’t have to worry about them.”
“Are they still getting stronger?” I asked with a cringe. I needed to know how they were doing, but I wasn’t sure I could take any more bad news.
Matt nodded again. “Blaze isn’t bouncing back quite as quickly as Buttercup, but Dr. Moon thinks that they’ll both be fine. He left some fluids with Lucas and promised to be by first thing tomorrow.”
I breathed a sigh of relief and straightened up in my seat. “You have no idea how grateful I am I don’t have to worry about things at home right now,” I said. “The doctors said that Daddy will have to be here for at least a week. I’d like to stay with him as much as possible.”
Matt let out a long yawn and I remembered that he’d had just as long of a weekend as I had. He and Lucas stayed behind in Baltimore to pack our things after Renee called to tell me about the barn break-in. As soon as they landed in Colorado, they sped to the ranch to see what was happening with the horses. When they arrived, Dallas told them about Daddy. Matt slowed down long enough to pack some of my clothes and essentials, and then hauled ass to Denver to hold my hand.
“You’re a good friend,” I said again. I took the warm cardboard mug from between my knees and offered it to him. “You should have gotten a cup for yourself,” I said as he gulped it down.
“I didn’t get tired until I stopped moving,” he said. “And speaking of tired, I know you have to be exhausted.”
“I don’t know what I am,” I confessed. “A hot mess is probably the best description.” I threw another glance to the clock and twirled a strand of hair around my finger.
“Watching the clock isn’t going to help anything,” Matt advised.
“The doctor said it could take between two and five hours. I expected to at least have an update by now.”
He squeezed my hand and held it in his lap. “It will take as long as it takes,” he said softly. “I know you want an update, but it’s more important for the doctors and nurses to focus on Cole right now. I promise this will all be over soon and everything will be fine.”
That’s almost exactly what James said this morning. God, how many emotions can a person feel in one day?
My cell phone chimed and I pulled it off of a charger I’d borrowed from the nurses’ station. I looked down and saw James’s face next to a text message.
“Are you okay? It’s killing me that I can’t take care of you right now.”
I looked across the room and gave him a sad smile. I loved him for reaching out, but I ached for more meaningful contact. When James held me in his arms I felt like nothing could hurt me, and I needed to feel that safety. I glanced at the clock again and typed out my reply.
“I’m trying to be okay. I know you have to stay with your mom… are you mad at me too?”
I hit send and then silenced my phone in the hopes that no one would realize we were texting from across the room. I looked up and watch James’s face soften as he read the message. He met my eyes and ever so slightly shook his head. He turned his attention back to his phone just as Dr. Gulley stepped into the waiting room.
She was still in her operating scrubs, her curly red hair peeking out from the back of her cap. Renee, Matt, and I immediately jumped to our feet and James followed a few seconds behind. Renee and I bombarded the petite doctor with questions as we all moved to the center of the waiting room.
“Is he okay?” I asked anxiously.
“Did he… survive?” Renee gasped, her hand clenched to her mouth in worry.
Dr. Gulley smiled, her green eyes lit with triumph. “Yes, he survived. The artery pumping to his left ventricle was almost completely blocked. I took a small vessel from his left leg and bypassed the blockage. He’ll be sore and he’ll need to take it easy for a while, but his recovery time will be much shorter than traditional open heart surgery. I’d like him to rest tomorrow, but I’d like him to start taking short walks the day after. The faster he’s up on his feet, the better his outcome will be.”
“When can we see him?” Renee and I asked simultaneously. My voice was full of relief, while hers was filled with panic.
Dr. Gulley put a comforting hand on Renee’s shoulder. “Cole is still in recovery, but he’s been assigned a room. I’ve arranged for a nurse to take you there. When Cole’s awake, we’ll bring him up.”
“Thank you so much, Dr. Gulley,” I said, shaking the doctor’s hand.
“It was my pleasure,” she said. “I’ll be in to check on Cole before I leave for the night. Tomorrow, we’ll all go over the rules for his new heart healthy lifestyle. I hope you’re all ready for a brand new diet. The patient has a much higher chance of sticking to it if the whole family participates.”
“We’ll do whatever we have to,” I quickly assured her. James nodded and I turned to Renee. She was staring at the doctor, her wide eyes twinkling with hesitant excitement.
“So… he’s really going to be okay?” she asked.
Dr. Gulley gave her a wide grin. “He’s going to be fine. I’m going to put him on some medication to help keep new blockages from forming. He’ll have to have regular checkups and make some lifestyle changes, but I have no reason to believe he won’t make a full recovery.”
Tears of relief welled out of Renee’s eyes and she leaned back against James’s chest. Laughter mixed with her sobs as she tried to brush away her tears. “Oh my God, I can’t believe it. I don’t remember the last time I was so terrified. Thank you so much, Dr. Gulley.”
“You’re more than welcome,” the doctor replied, shaking her hand. A tall, slender nurse with jet black hair appeared at Dr. Gulley’s left.
“This is Lydia, she’s going to take you to Cole’s room. I’m afraid it’s hospital policy that only one of you will be allowed to spend the night.”
“That’s fine, the rest of us can get a hotel,” James quickly assured her. Renee stood up straight and I knew she was steeling herself to argue with me about which one of us would stay at the hospital. All that mattered to me was that Daddy was going to be okay.
“Renee, why don’t you stay tonight?” I suggested without looking at her. “I’m sure that’s what Daddy would want.”
I saw her body relax out of the corner of my eye. “Thank you, Willow. What time do visiting hours start tomorrow?” she asked, turning back to the doctor.
“Lydia will explain everything to you while she takes you to the room,” Dr. Gulley patiently replied. She looked down at her watch and up again. “I should be getting back to Cole. I’ll see you all this evening.”
“Thanks again, Dr. Gulley,” Renee said. The doctor nodded and then turned and left the room. Lydia stepped into her place and offe
red us all a kind smile.
“If you’ll follow me, I’ll lead you to Mr. Rogers’ room.”
She turned and we silently followed her out of the waiting room.
***
“You’re sure you’re okay, Daddy?” I asked again. It was early Monday morning and I was perched on the edge of Daddy’s hospital bed. He smiled back at me with more color in his cheeks than I’d seen in days.
“I’m sore and tired,” he said. “But Dr. Gulley said that’s normal. I can’t say that I love my new diet, but it’s better than winding up here again. I’m so sorry for putting you all through this,” he finished, looking sheepish.
“You have nothing to apologize for,” I insisted, grasping his hand. “And it’s our new diet.”
Renee nodded from the recliner next to Daddy’s bed. She still hadn’t looked at me, but Daddy didn’t seem to sense that anything was wrong. “I should be apologizing to you,” she said. “I thought I was spoiling you, cooking all of your favorite meals. If I’d known…” Renee brought a hand to her mouth and looked down, tears flowing from her eyes yet again. I felt bad for her, so I decided to extend an olive branch.
“It took a lot longer than a few months for Daddy’s artery to clog. This isn’t your fault, Renee,” I said softly.
“Of course it’s not,” Daddy agreed.
“Well, no more red meat and shortening in my kitchen,” Renee said firmly. “Dr. Gulley arranged for me to meet with one of the hospital nutritionists. From now on—”
She was interrupted by a soft knock on the door. It swung slightly open and Matt peaked in.
“Up for one more visitor?” he asked Daddy.
“Absolutely,” Daddy replied with a grin. “I can’t thank you enough for coming all the way up here, Matt,” he continued as Matt stepped into the room. “I know your being here made this much easier for Willow.”
“Nothing could have kept me away, Cole,” Matt said. He sat down on a rigid hospital chair and crossed his legs. “And Willow was a trooper through the whole thing. She was worried, but she was also decisive and confident you’d pull through.”