Was I proud that I was a bit of a skank? Eh, I didn’t care. I did what I wanted, and I was always careful. I’d been on birth control since I was fifteen, and I tried using condoms when I could.
“You’re…” I trailed off, realizing I’d already called him cocky not even fifteen seconds ago. Damn, this one addled my brain, made me lose my train of thought. I had to be careful around him. Very, very careful, otherwise…otherwise I might just start to fall for him.
Hah. Wouldn’t that suck ass?
“I don’t know why I came,” I muttered, wrapping up what was left of my sub and shoving it back in my bag. I’d eat the rest back at the dorm, with Mel, away from Levi and his infuriatingly sexy self. At least, away from him, I wouldn’t have to feel my body getting all hot and bothered.
God, when was the last time I’d had sex? Since before coming to SCC, definitely. I hadn’t gone out to any parties yet, mostly because I didn’t trust myself going out alone and I knew I wouldn’t be able to drag Mel with me. Maybe this weekend that had to change. I needed some bodily release, a dick to get my mind off Levi.
Because absolutely nothing could go wrong there, right?
Levi’s hand shot out, grabbing my arm, keeping me from getting up. Damn, he was strong. “Wait,” he said. “You don’t have to go yet.” Not begging me to stay; simply telling me, as if I had no choice but to listen to him.
As his hand loosened around my arm, falling between us, I knew I could get up and storm away, give him the middle finger as I went, but my legs were stationary as I met his deep blue eyes.
Fuck. Those eyes. Those eyes were something else. A secret superpower. Those eyes could make you forget even the most important things. Eyes like that were beautiful.
“Why should I stay?” I asked, knowing he couldn’t give me a good answer. A guy like this liked to play the board, but you know what? So did I. I played the game just as good as any other dick-wearing fucker. I didn’t need a dick to be a player, and I did not get tied down. Ever. Maybe when I was older I would, but now? Now I was supposed to be having fun, making memories, not regrets.
This guy…I didn’t know whether he’d be a memory or a regret yet. Only time would tell.
“Because I said so,” Levi spoke seriously. Of course the bastard wouldn’t say because he wanted me here, because he wanted to see me, to spend time with me. Crushes were past us. If he was trying to play me, he had another thing coming.
Unlike most girls, I wasn’t just a pawn on the board. I was aware of every single move that was made, and I made my own moves, too. I might not be the queen on the board, but I knew my worth. Levi might’ve been cocky, but so was I.
We were more alike than I realized. A strange thought.
“And I should listen to you why?” I baited him. “You should know that no matter what you say next, it’ll probably just piss me off more.”
Levi’s smirk grew into a tiny smile, and I realized, hating myself all the while, that when he smiled, he had dimples. His brown hair was spiked up, his jawline smooth and flawless. A jawline like that was worthy of a sculpture, a painting.
He leaned closer to me, and I smelled him in spite of myself: musky, manly, sweaty but not disgusting. Whatever nameless smell it was, I liked it. “I like you when you’re pissed off.”
I glared at him, trying to regain myself. His face was inches from mine, his tall frame leaning down to me. He was…an ungodly sort of tempting. The most tempting man I’d ever met. “You’ve never seen me when I’m pissed off, Blue.” Really, he hadn’t. He’d seen me around, in class, but a pissed off Kelsey wasn’t fun.
In fact, she was kind of a bitch.
“I’d like to,” he murmured, reaching for my face, swiping my hair and tucking a piece of it behind my ear. My eyelids fluttered closed, and I shivered at the soft, tender touch. A man like him could be gentle; who knew?
“Why?” I asked once I regained myself, once those warm fingertips no longer touched me.
Levi stared at me for a few moments, the wind blowing between us. It was as if the world around us ceased to exist. I didn’t hear the basketball game happening twenty feet away. I didn’t hear the traffic from the road just beyond the rec. All I heard was his steady breathing, and all I felt was the warmth from his breath.
It took him a while to say, “Because I think we’re the same.”
I met those baby blues, willing myself to have some kind of restraint here. What I wanted to do was throw my arms around his neck and bring my mouth to his, but I couldn’t. If we really were the same, we’d be a disaster together. When you combined fire with fire, you came out with one huge raging inferno.
“I don’t know about that,” I whispered. This conversation seemed far too intimate to have sitting here, on a bench in campus, out in the open. This was…this was the kind of conversation you had behind closed doors, when you could either end the conversation in a swearing match or in some hot hate sex.
“The more you play hard to get, the more you make me want to chase you,” Levi said. “I’ve never wanted to chase anyone before.”
Was that supposed to be some kind of weird compliment? I wasn’t sure. “I’m not playing anything. This isn’t a game.” A lie, because it was. This was a game, and I knew right then and there we were both playing it, whether we were willing or not.
“Everything is a game,” Levi murmured, his lips hardly moving as he spoke. I stared at those lips much longer than I knew I should, yet I could not look away. How would those lips feel against my skin?
What I wanted to do was grab him, pull him in close and smother him with a kiss—because hot damn, this one was driving me crazy—but I stopped myself. Instead I simply reached for him, running a hand down his sweaty, naked torso, touching his pectorals and then, yes, his abdomen. Hard muscles.
Hard muscles that tensed under my touch, and maybe I was wrong, but I could’ve sworn I saw a twerk of a movement in those flimsy shorts he wore.
“Maybe,” I said, letting my hand linger on his body, “but I’m high stakes, and I don’t think you’re ready to play.” Before he could say anything, I stood up, slung my bag around my shoulders, and walked away.
I didn’t look back at him. Why would I? I knew what I’d see.
Levi, watching me walk away. Levi, watching me go with hazy blue eyes, his lips parted just a hair, just enough to show me that my touch had affected him as much as it affected me.
That one…I had to be careful. I had to be really careful when it came to him. He was…there were no words. I didn’t think I’d ever met a guy like him before, and that was saying something, considering all the places I dragged Ash during high school. Got us fake IDs, so we frequented the bars. I picked up a lot of older guys, and none of them had ever made me feel so…charged.
That was a weird word to use, but I couldn’t think of any other way to explain it. Levi made me feel energized, riled up but in a good way. He made me want to be wild, want to tell him off, and I was pretty damn sure he liked hearing me tell him off just as much.
We would be terrible together. Just awful.
And yet.
Yet.
When I returned to the dorm, Mel was on her laptop. The TV was on in the background, just noise. Her blonde head turned toward me, her brown eyes wide. “Where were you?” She wrinkled her nose, studying me. “And why do you look so…freaked out?”
Freaked out? I wasn’t freaked out. I was turned on. Horny for a guy I shouldn’t be. Anyone who associated with Dean was a no-no, and yet my mini-me wanted him. She wanted to feel every inch of him, every bit of him inside of her.
Yeah, my mini-me was a naughty one.
“I think I’m just overheating,” I said, shrugging, acting like it was a million degrees outside. I tossed my bag on my bed and went into my dresser, pulling out a tank top, changing right then and there.
Mel’s lips pursed, and she watched me toss my t-shirt into the laundry basket in the corner. “Guess who found me before my first cl
ass.”
I was in the process of pulling out the rest of my sub when I paused, meeting her stare and asking, “Who?”
“Dean,” Mel muttered his name with a frown.
Again? Ugh. The asshole. “What did he want?”
“He asked if there was any chance we could get back together,” Mel said. Her voice shook a bit, her hands falling to her lap. She fiddled with her fingers, looking uneasy.
“You told him no, right?” I knew first loves, especially when they were years in the making, were difficult to overcome—not that I had any personal experience there. Me and relationships…well, let’s just say I never had one. Not really. Still, Mel had to know by now she was better off without that dickbag, right?
Mel was quiet for a while. “He said he’s trying to change, and that he needs me, but I don’t…” She rubbed her arms, biting her bottom lip. “After what he did, what he made his friends do, I just…how can I forgive him for everything he did?”
I let go of my backpack, moving to her, sitting on the edge of her bed closest to her desk, my feet hanging off the edge. “I know everyone always preaches about forgiveness. Forgiveness is the best policy and blah, blah. But you know what? Sometimes people royally fuck up. Sometimes people don’t deserve forgiveness. That dickbag? He’s one of those people.”
“But you haven’t talked to him—”
Hearing her try to defend him made me annoyed. “No, I haven’t, but from everything you’ve told me, Mel, he’s a dick. He hurt you. He cheated on you after pretty much forcing you to give up your virginity to him. There’s no coming back from that.”
Her lips pursed, and she closed her eyes. “You’re…you’re right.”
“Am I, or are you just saying that to get me to shut up?”
Mel smiled slowly, a teeny, tiny thing. It was a sad smile, but a smile nonetheless. I’d take it. “If I wanted you to shut up, I’d just tell you to shut up.”
“Good,” I said. “I’m glad we’re that comfortable with each other.” I hopped off her bed, needing to finish eating that sub now. “If you ever need to be talked off a ledge again, just let me know. I’m here for you.”
“Thanks,” Mel chuckled.
I unwrapped my sandwich, my stomach gurgling with hunger that did not involve my horniness for Levi’s body. “Anytime,” I mumbled, bringing the partially-eaten sub to my mouth and chowing down.
Ash was having some problems with some rich guys at Hillcrest, but me? Hah. I had everything handled.
Chapter Nine – Kelsey
I sat in bio lab, which was odd, because I couldn’t remember when I’d gotten here, or why the hell the rest of the room looked so empty. No other students sat at the long black tables, their tops clean. Even the middle-aged professor was nowhere to be seen. I was alone in the room, glancing all around, nothing but my pencil in my hand. I realized, after tossing a look behind me, that it was dark outside. Nighttime. It was pitch-black out there and I was sitting in bio lab as if waiting for the end of the world.
What in the hell was I doing here?
I was about to get up, but then someone else walked in the room. Levi. He wore no shirt, his torso glimmering with sweat, and the same red athletic shorts I’d seen him in before. He stood near the door to the room, tossing a thumb over his shoulder.
“Why are you still in here? I’ve been waiting for you,” he said. “Come on.”
My stomach clenched. He was waiting for me. How? Why? For how long? A thousand questions raced in my head, but I set my pencil down and followed him anyways. Like I was going to wait here, when I was so very obviously needed wherever he was at.
Where he was was where I wanted to be, as dumb and lovestruck as it sounded.
I trailed after him, and the moment I stepped out of the bio lab classroom, I was in the quad, where the basketball games were had for fun. The sunlight was harsh above my head, and I had to squint to see Levi before me. No one else was around. No one other than him.
Him and his sexy as hell self.
“Play with me,” Levi said, tossing me a basketball.
I caught it, feeling my body heat up everywhere. Play with me. Those words could mean something totally different. Actually, I kind of wished they meant what my dirty brain pictured and not how he meant them.
Me and basketball, well. Let’s just say I never made any teams before, and gym class was one of my most hated classes back in high school.
I kept any remarks to myself, and I did my best to dribble the ball and shoot it. It was just me and him, the rest of the world a bit blurry. Levi tried to block me, though I could tell he wasn’t really trying hard, and my shoulder rammed into his rock-solid body. I instantly felt myself freeze up, my fingers tightening on the ball.
“You know,” Levi muttered, his blue eyes twinkling as they stared down at me, “you’re supposed to dribble the ball. If you hold onto it, that’s—”
I dropped the ball. No, not just dropped it. I practically threw it aside, letting it bounce and roll off the court. I remained against Levi, slowly turning around to stand near him, his front on mine, my chest pressing against his with each breath I took. The flat chest in front of me glistened with sweat, and I lifted a hand, touching him, feeling that solid chest tremble beneath me.
“Kelsey,” Levi whispered my name, and I shivered against him. For whatever reason, my body liked the way he spoke my name, how it sounded on his tongue. “You drive me mad, you know.”
My lips curled into a smile, and I tilted my head up to look at him, to meet those gorgeous blue eyes and get lost in them. “The feeling’s mutual,” I murmured, moving my hand up his chest, running my fingertips along his neck. The same fingers wove in his hair, and I yanked him down, not wanting to wait anymore.
I’d been good. I’d waited for as long as I could. I’d played it safe, but now? Now I was about to play the game as it should always be played. No holds barred, no safety. This was the time to make it or break it, and I wanted a fucking homerun.
My lips collided with his, and I heard him moan into me, his strong arms wrapping around my back and pulling me closer. If I could’ve melded into him, I would have. If I could’ve melted against him, I definitely would have. A man like him was impossible to resist—really, it was a miracle I’d lasted so long.
The kiss was like fire, like two unyielding forces coming together, neither one wanting to break, neither one backing down. The moment our lips met and our hunger for each other ignited, the flames only burned brighter, stronger. We would destroy everything around us, and it would be spectacular.
No, not just spectacular.
Biblical. It would be fucking biblical.
Levi was everything I wanted, nothing I needed, but that was the beauty of him. He was not a good guy, I knew that in my very soul, but I wasn’t such a good girl, either. Neither of us had sparkling pasts, I knew, but that didn’t matter. Right here, right now, there was nothing but us and the taste of his lips on mine.
I wanted him to tear off my clothes, to fuck me right here and now in this basketball court, for any and all to see, but the world faded around me, and suddenly I was thrown into my consciousness, jerking awake in my bed.
A dream.
A fucking dream.
A dream that didn’t even get to the good part. What the hell?
My eyes stared at the ceiling, and I let out a frustrated sigh. Of course I had to dream about him, and of course that same dream had to be cut off before any of the good shit happened. That was just my luck. Needless to say, my luck sucked.
And now my body was warm, revved up with nowhere to go.
I rolled over on my side, stuffing an arm under my pillow. Felt weird to touch myself when Mel was five feet away. I checked my phone. It was too late; Ash would be asleep. This place was going to kill me, I decided.
Maybe a break from SCC and Levi would do me some good. If I was away from this place, surely I’d be able to get my mind off him.
When morning came, my min
d was already made up. I was unable to fall back asleep after that particular dream, so I was wide-awake when Mel got up to do her early morning routine. I practically scared her to death, making her jump back when I sat up and spoke to her.
She had a towel wrapped around her thin body, one of those weird people who needed to shower to start their day. Me? I needed as much sleep as I could possibly get, though last night was a freak occurrence. I blamed Levi and his devastatingly sexy self.
“I’m thinking of going home this weekend. Is that okay?” I wasn’t sure why I felt inclined to make sure she was fine with it; it wasn’t like I owed her every second of every day. Still, with everything going on with Dean, I knew better than to assume she’d be fine.
“Of course,” Mel said. “If I lived that close, I’d be going home every week too. I’ll be fine.” Her voice was much less groggy, and her eyelids didn’t have trouble staying up. When I said nothing, texting my parents to see which one of them could pick me up, she added, “Uh, can you…I have to change. Normally you’re asleep when I do it.”
“Right, sorry,” I said, laying back down and giving her my back.
It was official. I was going home tonight. Mom was going to pick me up after she got off at three. She’d be here around three-thirty, and then we’d be back at home at four, missing the rush hour traffic. Perfect.
All throughout the day, I tried to focus on my classes, on the fact that I was going home later. Anytime my thoughts wandered to Levi, I immediately thought of something else. Like elephants, or rhinos, or even those adorable little foxes. I loved those videos you saw online with foxes. Never wanted one as a pet, but they were freaking cute.
Cute. You know who wasn’t cute? Levi. Because he was the sexiest man I’d ever seen.
Wait, no. I wasn’t supposed to think about him. I was supposed to think of other things, pretend he didn’t even go here. Right.
Harder than it sounded, and it sounded pretty damn hard.
Mistakes : A College Bully Romance Page 5