by Hillary Avis
“Then why would you even suggest it?”
“I just thought—because I chose—” she couldn’t finish the sentence.
“Because you chose to save a person’s life instead of some pages of old nothing?”
“It wasn’t nothing,” she whispered. She closed her eyes, letting the bitterness of failure wash over her. She hadn’t let herself feel the full force of it yet—she’d held it back for Taylor who was dealing with his own losses. But now she felt the tsunami of moments that she and Paul would never get back. A rush of stolen kisses in the back room of the bakery. Christmas mornings in new slippers, watching Emily gasp with delight when she unwrapped her gifts. Scrambled eggs with pumpernickel rye toast, every morning like a religion. Each memory a drop that joined to become the streams, rivers, and ocean of their life. Their love. It was gone.
She felt his lips brush hers in the barest kiss. A sweet goodbye. Then two more came, one on each eyelid, and the final one in the center of her forehead. He let go of her face and she kept her eyes shut, afraid to see his face.
“Hey. Look at me.” He gave her shoulders a gentle shake until she opened her eyes. He ducked his head, forcing her to look at him. “This is what I needed. It’s what I wanted.”
She shook her head, confused. “What is?”
“This. You and me. I don’t need whatever was in those pages to know I love you.”
He was being kind. Too kind. It almost hurt worse that way. She pulled away from him. “How is it possible, though? You don’t even know me.”
“I know you sacrificed everything to save a man’s life. And you stood by my side all these months.”
Her mouth quirked up at one corner. “Years, actually.”
“Years,” he nodded and leaned toward her to press his forehead against hers. “You’ve remembered for both of us for years, and you never gave up. That’s you. That’s the person I love.”
This time she let the sweetness take her and sweep her out to sea.
“THERE’S ONE THING I don’t understand,” Paul said, twining his fingers with hers as they walked the short distance between Golden Gardens and the little green house on Rosemary Street. The willows along the creek whispered behind their backs in the afternoon breeze. “Did Leroy kill the Robinsons or not?”
“I don’t think he did. I checked the books, and his memory of that night matches his story. He spent the whole evening with his mom. Plus, if he’d killed the Robinsons, Elaine would have written about it in her diary. She wouldn’t want to forget something like that.”
“Then whose pages did she tear out of the Homicides book?”
Allison chewed her lower lip. “I hoped we’d find out when we got those boxes back from Leroy. I had my fingers crossed that the missing pages would be in them. But the more I think about it, the more I believe she did it herself.”
Paul raised an eyebrow. “Why would she tear out her own memories?”
“Wouldn’t you want to forget that you’d done something so terrible? That’s the only reason I can conceive that she didn’t write about it in her diary, too. She didn’t want to remember that she’d taken Tim and Dara’s lives, so she didn’t transcribe her memory into the diary, and she removed it from every book that she could find.”
Paul nodded. “Maybe the guilt was too much.”
“Or maybe she just didn’t want the blame.” Whatever the reason Elaine had covered up her crime, the fact remained that she’d committed the murder. The false memory Allison wrote into the books had just replaced the real one, the one where Elaine had stolen in the dead of night to the tent in the Timber Falls wilderness and released the rattlesnake into the tent that she thought was inhabited by Michelle. She might have been horrified when she realized that she’d killed the wrong people—but the real horror was that she was willing to kill at all.
They reached the white picket fence in front of the library and Taylor flew out of the front door to greet them as Allison pushed open the gate.
“Paul!” Taylor shouted, tackling him around the waist with both arms. “You’re home!”
Home. The word hummed in Allison’s ears as she took in their embrace, there between the garden beds that overflowed with summer produce. Tomato vines and nasturtium blossoms intertwined, reaching toward the sun as the gentle summer winds swept through them. Behind the garden, the little green house sat stoic and content, ready to shelter their family.
Their messy, patchwork, loving family. One family, not three. One family whose roots reached the deepest into Remembrance’s history, even as they kept the secrets of today, ones that had only just been whispered. They would care for each other and the books, together as a family. Because distance and division was not the answer to keeping the library safe. It never would be. Only a community of guardians who cared deeply, who understood that people aren’t the sum of their pages, who were so deeply connected to the town as to be inextricable, could truly protect Remembrance.
Epilogue
One year later
Blue sky peeked through the branches of the old oak tree as the sun filtered between the leaves and cast a lacy pattern on the soft grass beneath. The tree’s spread was wide enough that the hundred or so guests seated in a semicircle in front of the huge trunk were completely sheltered, like they were all enclosed in a glowing, green cocoon.
It was the perfect place to renew their vows, underneath this magical tree. Allison was glad she and Emily had spent so long searching for a venue. She squeezed Paul’s hand while they listened to Myra’s heartfelt words as she officiated the renewal of their vows.
“Let them be joined as one heart, one mind, so they may deeply understand the beauty of each other’s words and deeds. Let their love be made new every day, forever.” Myra beamed at them.
Her words spoke deeply to Allison’s soul. Over the last year since Michelle burned down the gazebo, she and Paul had learned to love each other all over again, day by day. Paul moved into the little green house and spent a lot of time poring over the memories in the books, reading every scrap he could find of their lives together—Allison’s memories, mostly. He said it was enough, seeing their life together through her eyes. He joked that it was probably better that way, because she had a higher opinion of him than he had of himself.
The only memory he regretted losing was the one of their wedding day. So when Emily suggested that they renew their vows during her wedding ceremony with Zack, Allison and Paul had joyfully agreed.
“Is this how it was?” Paul asked softly, squeezing her hand as he slid her wedding band back on her finger. “The first time, I mean?”
“No.” She shook her head. “No. This is better.”
It was—during their first wedding, she’d been nervous, sweating all over the inside of her gown. Their life had stretched in front of them, unknown and peppered with difficulties—or so everyone told her. Marriage would be hard, they said. You won’t always love each other. But they’d been wrong. Loving Paul was easy, even through the worst of it.
This time, as she repeated the vows that Myra spoke and returned Paul’s wedding ring to his finger, she knew their life together would be unbreakable, because their love was unbreakable. They sealed their commitment with a kiss, to cheers from their friends and family.
Music from the string quartet at the back of the crowd swelled, and Allison dragged her eyes away from Paul’s face just in time to see Everest bounding down the aisle, his red collar decorated with a wreath of wildflowers. Zack and Emily’s rings were strapped to a pillow on his back. The miniature saddle slipped to one side as he bounded down the aisle, and a grinning Taylor held the leash in one hand, straightening the pillow with the other. He gave Everest a signal when they reached the front, and the dog settled down immediately.
Allison heart swelled with pride at the evidence of all the hard work Taylor had put in training Everest. Though she and Paul were only his foster family until Michelle got out of prison, they considered Taylor their son. Michel
le would serve at least ten years for the gazebo arson, so Taylor would grow up in their care. He and Everest had both sprouted like weeds over the last year, reaching the gangly teenage stage at the same time, with feet slightly too large and legs slightly too long for their frames. He grinned crookedly at them as he took his place beside them, Everest sitting obediently at his feet.
Zack joined him, shaking Taylor’s hand and ruffling Everest’s fur before taking his place on the other side of Myra to a smattering of applause. The front row, occupied by Zack’s Kirkpatrick grandparents and the couple’s closest friends, dabbed their eyes with Kleenex, emotional even though the ceremony hadn’t yet begun.
Emily appeared alone at the end of the aisle, and the crowd rose, sucking in their collective breath when they caught sight of her. She was a vision in her ethereal ballgown. A gentle breeze picked up the diaphanous veil that framed her face so it fluttered behind her like a mirage. In the soft filtered light, holding her bouquet of wildflowers, she looked like a wood nymph.
Allison stole a look at Zack’s face as Emily began the slow walk toward them. Blinking back tears, he only had eyes for his bride. Allison squeezed Paul’s hand and they exchanged a look that said more than words. Their daughter had found the rare kind of love they shared. If there were any possibility of being happier, Allison couldn’t imagine it.
When Michelle sold the yellow house to pay for her legal fees, Emily and Zack had purchased it, so their memories were safe in the Remembrance library again. They didn’t live there—at least, not yet, but Allison was working on that. Now Taylor had the run of both houses and called both of them his home, though he spent most of his time in the library with Allison and Paul. They set up the front bedroom for him, relocating the bookshelf of racy memory books from the walk-in closet to the attic, where they thumped and bumped at night like friendly ghosts.
Everest, who slept every night at the foot of Taylor’s bed and comforted him when he woke from the nightmares that sometimes still plagued him at night, had learned to ignore the noisy books. As one of Emily’s medical school friends read a Rumi poem, Allison stroked the fur between the dog’s ears. He grinned up at her, panting and wriggling even as he held his position at Taylor’s feet.
He was a comfort, bringing a certain doggy joy to the house and reminding them all to stay in the present. His courageous heart and steady temperament had worn off on everyone. Even Zack, whose new meds had taken the edge off his allergies, joined in the family fights over who got to walk the dog when he and Emily visited on the weekends.
When the ceremony was over and Emily and Zack were pronounced man and wife, she, Paul, and Taylor followed them back down the aisle. She was the first to congratulate them as they all took their places for the receiving line.
“Welcome to the family tree,” she said as she embraced Zack. “Now it’s time to grow a new branch.”
“Maybe next year,” he said, laughing. Emily pretending to bash him with her bouquet. He grinned at her, clutching his arm in mock pain. “Ow. OK, OK, a few years at least.”
When Allison hugged Emily, gingerly avoiding her flowers and veil so they wouldn’t get crushed, Emily whispered in her ear, “Thanks, Mom.”
Allison pulled back. “For what?”
“For loving him in spite of—you know.” Emily swallowed hard. “His mom. It’s been a crazy few years, and I wouldn’t blame you if you couldn’t let it go.”
“I love him because you love him—and because he loves you. It’s his business figuring out his relationship with Elaine. She did some terrible things, but she’s accepted responsibility for them and is paying the price. I can’t hold that against Zack.”
“Like I said—thank you, Mom. Your heart is so big.” Tears welled in Emily’s eyes and Allison hugged her again, less mindful this time of her bridal accessories.
Myra’s voice came from behind. “Don’t cry, baby girls. This is a happy time. You’ve got a whole bunch of people who want to fuss over you both.”
Allison laughed as she turned to face Myra and the line of guests that stretched behind her. Paul, Taylor, and Zack were already shaking hands and hugging people. “Oh, right. We’re supposed to be receiving our guests.”
“You know I’m the first in line.” Myra embraced them both. “Congratulations, both of you. See you at brunch tomorrow?”
“Wouldn’t miss it,” Emily said.
Kara was next in line, smiling broadly as she held out her arms to them. She’d swept her long hair up into a stylish bun and wore a soft, moss-green slip dress. Pogo rode in style in a matching bag under her arm. To Allison’s surprise, Leroy stood at Kara’s elbow in a navy plaid shirt and his usual cowboy books, bracing himself on a walker. The after-effects of the burns and back injury he’d received during the gazebo fire had forced him to retire from the sheriff’s office, but it was good to see him on his feet again.
“He’s my plus-one,” Kara said. When Allison’s mouth dropped open, she giggled. “My sponsor. He’s here to support my sobriety—and for company since I know you and Myra will be too busy with wedding stuff to hang out.”
Allison raised an eyebrow. Leroy had taken Kara under his wing after she saved his life, and with his network of contacts in law enforcement, she’d quickly learned the ropes and found her footing in town. The two of them had become better friends after the gazebo fire than Allison ever would have guessed.
Pretty soon Leroy might be coming to brunch, too. Their weekly meetup at Feast and Flower had grown to include Emily, who attended while Zack visited his mom at the state prison, and Crystal, now that her husband had returned from his Army Reserve deployment and could watch the kids. It was probably Kara’s turn to add someone to the crew. Allison just hadn’t expected it to be a grumpy old man.
“These kinds of gatherings can be tough,” Leroy said earnestly. “I hope you don’t mind that I’m here.”
Allison shook her head. “No—I’m glad you are. For Kara and for all of us.”
“Well, I can’t toast you with champagne, but I wish you and your kids many happy years.” He nodded to Emily and Zack before he headed to the reception area beyond the circumference of the spreading oak, Kara carefully matching her pace to his slow shuffle.
The rest of the reception line was a blur of well wishes and tears, the feel of many hands in hers—soft gentle hands, calloused palms, tiny sticky fingers. Generations of Remembrance.
Allison couldn’t help wondering where all the memories of the wedding would be stored in the library. Some would remember the beautiful setting or the luscious cake that Paul had baked himself. Others would recall the long wait for the wedding party to return from taking photos in the nearby field. Some would remember the love between the couples and others would doubt it. She and Paul would probably spend years stumbling across the memories in books where they least expected them.
She looked forward to it. And then, someday, she looked forward to handing off the library to Emily, Zack, and Taylor. To their future children. To all the branches of their family tree.
Everyone knows the magic of Oregon is in the trees.
Author’s Note
Thank you for accompanying me on this journey to Remembrance, and for reading all the way to the end of the third and final Magic Library mystery! If you enjoyed the series, I’d be so grateful for your honest review on the box set and the individual titles. And if you’d like to learn more about me and my other cozy mysteries (and download free books!), visit my website, www.hillaryavis.com.
—Hillary
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