I went to bed, closing my eyes and constantly opening them to this very strong feeling of wanting to be by his side. The cold and empty spot in my heart not to mention in my bed was filled admirably by a man with military distinction. He was the bad boy, but he had a heart of gold which was there for everybody to see if they were willing to look for it.
I fell asleep, but it was not a restless sleep and I kept tossing and turning wondering how I could open his eyes to the man I saw underneath. He was not ordinary and why would anybody want to be.
There was still a lot for us to say to one another and what we had done already had only scratched the surface. His feelings for me had become physical and I couldn’t decide how I felt about making this leap of faith with my stepbrother.
***
I woke to the sound of pots and pans clanging in the morning and the smell of freshly cooked bacon making my eyes open to greet another day. I stretched lazily, turning this way and that way before landing my feet on the floor. I got up and opened the window to Mother Nature at its best. I could smell the fresh flowers courtesy of my grandfather’s green thumb. The birds were singing and squirrels were scurrying in the trees with a bounty of nuts and whatever else they could find to forage.
“I don’t know what’s taking you so long, Chelsea, but breakfast will be served momentarily. You might have time for a quick shower then you should be ready to taste some of my culinary delights. I’m not just a barbecue wizard and I have heard through the Grapevine that girls like a guy that knows how to cook.” He was the total package, so why did I feel like something was pulling me in two different directions.
He was everything I wanted and more and still I was trying to find an inkling of a fault to glean on. This was my defense mechanism and I was never good at keeping a relationship alive long enough to see the ring on my finger.
“I’ll be down shortly, Bailey and don’t you dare start without me.” He was too good to be true and I had found one of the good ones with enough baggage to make it the breaking point for any other woman. This would be a deal breaker, but I was reluctant to let it go thinking that I might be the one to save him from himself.
In every bad boy story, there’s always the mistaken and misguided belief that they can change their spots like that of a leopard. Never once did it turn out exactly as planned and my fear of losing him was growing with each doubt that was seeping into my consciousness.
“You better be quick up there or I might end up eating all the bacon and there’s no more in the icebox.” I didn’t know my grandfather had done renovations and seeing things in the cold light of day made me see just how handy he really was. There was a master bathroom where there wasn’t one before and he had converted a huge walk in closet into plumbing indoors.
“I would say I would punish you if you ate all the bacon, but I think you would do it just to see what I would do to you.” I didn’t hear what he said in return, as I closed the door on the bathroom to see the woodwork of a master craftsman staring me in the face.
My grandfather was always good with his hands, but I never knew he had this kind of expertise. I was impressed and the shower heads were quite intricate with two of them on either side to give me an all over body massage. I turned the setting to alternating and I never quite knew what I was going to get from one moment to the next.
I had brought along some toiletries and I could never leave home without my special shampoo and conditioner. It gave my hair bounce and it cost a pretty penny, but it was worth it to see the look on some men’s faces. It could’ve been just my perception and maybe wishful thinking, but the catcalls and whistles from construction workers were something I couldn’t do without.
My skin was soft as a baby and the body wash from Jergens was a good investment. It was a quick shower, but a much-needed reprieve. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing him and I was fearful that maybe he was regretting his decision to consummate our relationship.
I put on a robe, leaving it open at the collar to give just the briefest of hints of my cleavage. I went down the stairs and found him in his skivvies cooking with not a care in the world. He had made a medley of interesting dishes including fried eggs, toast, bacon, and freshly made hash browns which had me reaching for the nearest bottle of ketchup.
“I have a question and I don’t want you to feel like you’re being put on the spot. I went to bed, but I was expecting you to join me which leaves me wondering why you didn’t. I was going to interrupt you this morning and drag you back to bed, but I didn’t want to be presumptuous. If last night didn’t mean as much to you as it did to me, Chelsea then I’d rather know now than find out later. I’m a big boy and I handle rejection better than most.”
I didn’t know that I was leaving him with a bad taste in his mouth and I certainly never suspected he was looking for companionship last night.
“I saw the look in your eyes after we finished and then the way you turned your back on me. I thought I would find you waiting for me, but you had already turned in with the lights turned off. I should’ve followed my first instinct and climbed in after you, but I decided to give you your space.”
The balcony doors were open and this was a typical log cabin with the perfect vantage point to see the lake with the colors of dawn dancing on the glassy surface.
“I had some things on my mind which I didn’t want to talk about. I never thought I was giving you mixed signals and I apologize for making you feel like you had to leave me alone. I missed you last night and I would have liked to wake up with you in my arms. There’s always tonight and maybe words sometimes do speak louder than actions.” He was saying a mouthful literally and figuratively with his fork moving from one corner of the plate to the other at breakneck speed.
“There’s nothing you could say that could ever change the way I feel about you.” I wanted to believe that, but it was becoming painfully clear what kind of heavy weight he was carrying over his shoulders.
“I don’t want to make the same mistakes I have in the past regarding relationships. Never getting close means I will never have to get hurt, but maybe that’s a risk I’m willing to take today. Chelsea, I need you more than you can ever know and I see the feeling is mutual. Being in the military afforded me the opportunity to see the world, but I never felt more lonely in my life.” His appetite was ravenous and I wasn’t talking about the food which of course he devoured like a man who was eating his last meal.
“Everybody has regrets and there are a couple of relationships I could’ve made work if I was willing to put in the hard work. I just never found someone compatible in the bedroom and able to string two sentences together without sounding like a Neanderthal. That caveman mentality is good once in awhile, but it gets old quickly.” He was the one who grabbed me unexpectedly and made me submit which was a far cry from who I thought I was.
“I may seem hardened like steel, but I have a heart beating underneath this well-defined chest. I know women feel a real man should cry, but I haven’t shed a tear even when my buddies were dying all around me. I bottled up the grief and I never was able to express myself really without judgment from those of my superiors. I’m not unfeeling but I do know how to compartmentalize my feelings so they don’t get in the way of the mission.” He finished his plate and gathered up what was left over and began to put them away in the fridge.
“Bottling up those feelings is not healthy and you have no idea what it’s going to manifest down the road. It could be physically, but more likely emotional. You’ll find yourself paralyzed in action and it could be the worst thing that ever happened to you.” His idea of keeping his feelings to himself was wrong, but I didn’t know if I was the right person for him to talk to.
There was something in the air, a crackling reminder of the electricity exuding from our bodies and it was interminable sitting there without dropping my fork innocently enough.
I had this idea of climbing under the table to give his libido a surge of adrenaline, but I never did
pull the pin on the grenade. I was kicking myself and the opportunity slipped through my fingers like sand through an hourglass.
“I haven’t gone on my daily hike and I was wondering if you would be so kind as to join me. We both know these melons…mountains like the back of our hand.” It was a Freudian slip from staring at my chest like a starving dog after a bone. “Don’t mind me; I have something more on my mind than working my body into a sweaty mess. There is another exercise that could certainly burn off the calories in more ways than one.”
His intention was clear and the idea of doing anything with him out here where it was more primal and animalistic was appealing.
Chapter Nine
I was having a hard time keeping up with him and he really did have the discipline of a military man. I often felt that he was slowing down purposely and then speeding up to make me go past my own endurance.
“I know you’re not in my league, Chelsea, but you’ll find you are more than capable of reaching down deep to find that extra little bit of energy. Everybody has it in reserve and it’s a matter of finding it and using it when it becomes important to do so.”
He did make an amazing sight in those tight little shorts and I had no problem staying behind a few feet to enjoy the view.
“I don’t know how much more I can take before I pass out. I don’t think either one of us wants me to do that. It would defeat the purpose of the reason why we came up here. It would be in your best interest to slow down and that extra reserve you talk about should be used for other means.”
I was feeling depleted, but I was hitting the wall and finding there was a way to get to the other side.
The pain burning in my side suddenly diminished and I got a burst of adrenaline forcing my legs forward despite my brain wanting to stop for a breather. My legs were like lead and my feet hurt more than they did jogging.
“I don’t want to hear you complain and the only thing I want is to see results. I sound like my old drill sergeant and I hated him more than anyone in the platoon. I see now that he was only trying to get the best out of me and I’m doing the exact same thing for you. You never know when you’re going to need the training to persevere.” It was as if he was trying to tell me something without saying anything at all.
“Why do I get this sinking suspicion this exercise is not mainly for show. You have an ulterior motive and I think it would be a good idea for you to show me all of your cards.”
I stopped in my tracks, bent over at an angle holding onto my knees for support. My lungs were burning, but I could’ve gone further. There was no way that I was going to with the secret hanging in the air.
He looked back and I think he finally understood this was where he was going to have to be open and honest. He came back down to find me sitting on a rock drinking a slug from my water bottle. It was refreshing and I wiped my mouth waiting for the awkward silence to pass.
“I would really like for you to trust me and not ask any questions. I know what kind of position I'm putting you in, but I’m only asking for a bit of leeway. Give me the benefit of the doubt and I think I deserve at least that.” I wasn’t sure that I agreed and I thought we were stronger together.
I couldn’t fathom doing what we had already done, but I wouldn’t want to change anything except for maybe the duration. I could’ve easily translated what we had already done into a long marathon sex session to keep us both coming back for more.
The ruffle of the leaves was enough to make him turn and smile like he knew something I didn’t. He was getting on my last nerve, finding a way to get underneath my skin and he was expecting me to stay silent despite my misgivings.
“I can’t keep quiet forever, but I’m willing to give you a few hours. You can take it or leave it. I will expect you to tell me the truth by dinnertime. If I don’t like what I hear then you’re going to see my ass walking the other way. I won’t be used as a pawn.”
Being this intimate with my stepbrother was unheard of, but he had harbored these feelings for long enough to let them fester into something of an obsession. I was pulled into his fantasy and I willingly allowed myself to get caught in his web of depravity.
“I will think about what you said and I do see the merit in telling you everything. I’m glad that you’re able to see it my way and I know it can’t be easy to be left in the dark. I’ve been there before myself and it leaves a bad taste in your mouth when somebody thinks it’s in their best interest to keep you from learning the truth.” These were painful lessons to learn and that haunted look in his eyes showed just what kind of pain he was going through.
I didn’t see anything physical, but emotionally he was distraught and looking for somebody to throw him a lifeline. He reached out his hand and I grabbed it instinctively until he was once again putting me through my paces.
“I don’t want you to think about it and I want you to do it. If you know how it feels then why would you subject this to somebody else especially to someone who you claim to have deep feelings for?”
I was playing catch up, making my body do things I had never felt it do before and I was quite impressed by my accomplishment.
There was no way that I could pass him and I found him waiting for me at the edge of the cliff. It was a long and painful climb to the top and the steep incline to get there was worse than any step class I’d ever taken. He looked pleased with himself, standing at attention and I wasn’t just talking about his posture.
“This is what it is all about. Those freedoms everybody takes for granted is what I protect every day. I began to doubt myself and I found myself at a crossroads. I came home looking for an unbiased opinion never expecting we were going to get closer than siblings should.” He was proud and I could see his duty to country meant a lot to him.
“You really don’t take any prisoners and what they taught you is ingrained into your psyche. It’s a conditioning that is going to be a part of your life forever. I can respect the discipline it took to become a consummate soldier. I’ve also experienced what kind of stamina you have from that training. You’re tough, smart and capable of doing practically anything.” I put my hand on his shoulder looking at the landscape stretching out before me and it really did make me feel small in comparison.
“Those are kind words, but I’m not sure that I deserve the way you look at me. I have to get over myself and the only way to break the cycle of violence is to stand down. I’ve done more than my fair share, but walking away from the only thing I know is not easy. It will always be a part of me, but I no longer want the responsibility of taking someone’s life. Enemy or not they are still human beings. I already have enough blood on my hands to metaphorically see it dripping from my fingertips.”
There was no way for him to rewind what he had already done.
“We can debate this issue or we can find something better to do with our time. It's entirely up to you whether or not you want to watch or participate.”
I shed my sports bra and was letting him see the high beams standing at attention in their own way. I very slowly pulled down my shorts, giving him the full moon and wiggling my hips for emphasis.
“You don’t play fair and it’s wrong to think that you can get away with teasing me like this.”
I spread the cheeks, giving him the basic idea of what I was asking and convincing him wasn’t going to take much. “You really are a piece of work, Chelsea and I never stood a chance from the moment you set your eyes on me. I’ve always had this hidden desire and opening myself up made me a prisoner of your body.” I was leaning against a huge boulder, spreading my knees in a peek-a-boo effort to draw him closer to the object of his fascination.
“I want you to plant your flag and I would really enjoy more action than words. After that long and arduous climb, I’m fucking horny, sweaty and in a desperate need to have an orgasm. I don’t want just an ordinary orgasm and I want you to go out of your way to prolong the experience. Treat it like you are a sexual drill sergeant and showing me m
ercy is never going to cut it.”
He was pulling off his own t-shirt, dropping the pretense and his pants in that order until he was in his element.
“This is a game you can’t win and I’ve had my fair share of conquests to know that you are more than a notch on my belt.”
He stalked his prey, coming closer, swinging his arms back and forth like some animal and the snort of derision made me almost jump out of my skin.
“Whether I win or lose means that we both win in the end. You can smell the heavy aroma of sex in the air thick enough to cut with a knife. I’ve been ready for almost an hour, but I’m glad I waited until we got to the top of the mountain.” He was on his hands and knees, crawling towards me and I pulled the petals of my sex open to let him see the wet interior beckoning him forward.
“Chelsea, this thing between us is something that no man can break. I find myself under your spell, completely at a loss for words and my sound judgment has crumbled underneath the feel of your skin on my fingertips.”
I could feel his hot breath on my recently shorn lips and the feel of his stubble scratching me unexpectedly was enough for me to wrap my legs around his head.
“I have you where I want you, but I don’t think that you’re going to fight me with any kind of conviction. This foreplay is the building block of any sexual encounter and it leads the way to both of us finding our own form of release.” I held the lips open and he fluttered his tongue making my breath go short and my legs tremble at the very notion of what he was about to do.
He drove the tip of his oral spear into the mouth of my demanding body. My thighs were shaking and my toes straining toward the sky. I heard the outcry of pleasure coming from my lips and it didn’t sound like me. It was this gravelly animalistic howl of delight foreign to my ears.
I twisted and turned in his grasp, pushing my pelvis up against his mouth and holding him there with both hands. If he was self-taught then he did himself proud by learning what made a woman quiver on the inside.
Single Dad’s Plaything: A Single Dad First Time Billionaire Romance Page 33