by James Morrow
Which is exactly what now happens. A thousand swords: sheathed. A thousand spears: lowered. A thousand arrows: unnocked.
The soldiers crowd around the chariot, pawing at the ersatz Helen. They touch the wooden arms, caress the marble brow, stroke the ivory teeth, pat the waxen lips, squeeze the woolly hair, rub the glass eyes.
“See what I mean?” cries the true Helen. “Your kings are diddling you…”
Paris can’t help it: he’s proud of her, by Hermes’s wings. He’s puffing up with admiration. This woman has nerve—she has arete and chutzpah.
This woman, Paris realizes as a fat, warm tear of nostalgia rolls down his cheek, is going to the end the war.
“The end,” I say.
“And then what happened?” Damon asks.
“Nothing. Finis. Go to sleep.”
“You can’t fool us,” says Daphne. “All sorts of things happened after that. You went to live on the island of Lesbos.”
“Not immediately,” I note. “I wandered the world for seven years, having many fine and fabulous adventures. Good night.”
“And then you went to Lesbos,” Daphne insists.
“And then we came into the world,” Damon asserts.
“True,” I say. The twins are always interested in hearing how they came into the world. They never tire of the tale.
“The women of Lesbos import over a thousand liters of frozen semen annually,” Damon explains to Daphne.
“From Thrace,” Daphne explains to Damon.
“In exchange for olives.”
“A thriving trade.”
“Right, honey,” I say. “Bedtime.”
“And so you got pregnant,” says Daphne.
“And had us,” says Damon.
“And brought us to Egypt.” Daphne tugs at my sleeve as if operating a bell rope. “I came out first, didn’t I?” she says. “I’m the oldest.”
“Yes, dear.”
“Is that why I’m smarter than Damon?”
“You’re both equally smart. I’m going to blow out the candle now.”
Daphne hugs her papyrus doll and says, “Did you really end the war?”
“The treaty was signed the day after I fled Troy. Of course, peace didn’t restore the dead, but at least Troy was never sacked and burned. Now go to sleep—both of you.”
Damon says, “Not before we’ve…”
“What?”
“You know.”
“All right,” I say. “One quick peek, and then you’re off to the land of Morpheus.”
I saunter over to the closet and, drawing back the linen curtain, reveal my stalwart twin standing upright amid the children’s robes. She smiles through the gloom. She’s a tireless smiler, this woman.
“Hi, Aunt Helen!” says Damon as I throw the bronze toggle protruding from the nape of my sister’s neck.
She waves to my children and says, “Onward, men! Fight for me!”
“You bet, Aunt Helen!” says Daphne.
“I’m worth it!” says my sister.
“You sure are!” says Damon.
“Onward, men! Fight for me! I’m worth it!”
I switch her off and close the curtain. Tucking in the twins, I give each a big soupy kiss on the cheek. “Love you, Daphne. Love you, Damon.”
I start to douse the candle—stop. As long as it’s on my mind, I should get the chore done. Returning to the closet, I push the curtain aside, lift the penknife from my robe, and pry back the blade. And then, as the Egyptian night grows moist and thick, I carefully etch yet another wrinkle across my sister’s brow, right beneath her salt-and-pepper bangs.
It’s important, after all, to keep up appearances.
PUBLICATION ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
The stories in this collection first appeared in the following publications:
“Bible Stories for Adults, No. 17: The Deluge”—Full Spectrum (New York: Bantam Books, 1988)
“Daughter Earth”—Full Spectrum 3 (New York: Bantam Books, 1991)
“Known But to God and Wilbur Hines”—There Won’t Be War (New York: Tor, 1991)
“Bible Stories for Adults, No. 20: The Tower”—Swatting at the Cosmos (Eugene, OR: Pulphouse Publishing, 1990). Revised version published in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction (June 1994).
“Spelling God with the Wrong Blocks”—The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction (May 1987)
“The Assemblage of Kristin”—Isaac Asimov’s Science Fiction Magazine (June 1984)
“Bible Stories for Adults, No. 31: The Covenant”—Aboriginal Science Fiction (November–December 1989)
“Abe Lincoln in McDonald’s”—The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction (May 1989)
“The Confessions of Ebenezer Scrooge”—Spirits of Christmas (New York: Wynwood Press, 1989)
“Bible Stories for Adults, No. 46: The Soap Opera”—God: An Anthology of Fiction (London: Serpent’s Tail, 1992). Revised version published in Science Fiction Age (January 1994).
“Diary of a Mad Deity”—Synergy Number 2 (San Diego: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1988)
“Arms and the Woman”—Amazing Stories (July 1991)
James Morrow has received the Nebula Award twice, for his short fiction, and the World Fantasy Award twice, for his novels Only Begotten Daughter and Towing Jehovah. About Morrow, the Chicago Tribune has stated simply, “The man defines fantasy.” He lives in State College, Pennsylvania.