I shift my eyes around the parking lot. I know what I am doing and I silently chastise myself for being this naïve. My eyes land on him in an instant. He is easy to spot. Graham is standing by what I assumed is his car. It’s sleek and stylish. The body is jet black and looks to be nearly brand new. His family is wealthy and not in the ‘don’t worry about how much grocery cost’ kind of way, but more in the ‘own the whole town’ kind of way. He would be driving around a brand new vehicle unlike the rest of us who get the family vans and clunkers that our older siblings left behind when they shipped off to college.
I try to keep myself from looking back over his way. I divert my eyes as impossible as that is. Taking a chance I look behind me where he is still standing. He’s leaning against the bumper of his car with Amanda standing between his legs. He has on a pair of faded jeans that sit sinfully low on his hips. They are worn in at the knees. His baseball t-shirt is tight across his chest. Damn, he really is gorgeous.
Amanda runs her hands down his stomach and throws back her head laughing. It practically echoes through the parking lot. Graham runs his hand through his hair and I can’t dig up the will to look away from him. Watching him and Amanda together gives me a small kick to the stomach reminding me where I belong.
Amanda Drims is the type of girl who always gets what she wants. Her claws are currently sunk into Graham and I don’t see her relenting any time soon. Of course, he would be into someone like her. They make sense together. She’s too beautiful for her own good with this long platinum blonde hair and catastrophically blue eyes that can be spotted from where I am standing. I don’t stand a chance. Not that I want a chance. Everyone knows that Graham and Amanda will end up together at some point. People like them always do.
Graham turns in my direction as if he can feel me watching him. Our eyes lock. There’s a look in his that reiterates everything that had happened last night. Graham didn’t smile, but he didn’t need to. Amanda is what broke our contact. She’s trying to talk to him and he isn’t paying her the attention she thinks she’s earned. She shifts her eyes to see what has stolen his attention and swats him across the chest to draw him back in. He rolls his eyes at her reaction. Luckily she hadn’t noticed that it was me that was drawing his attention away from her. Even if she had seen, she wouldn’t have believed it.
“Why do you look like you’re in a deep thought?” Violet snaps me back to reality as we continue our walk into school making our way through the halls to my locker. “You were just staring into space.”
I put my things on the ground to free my hands to put my combination for my locker in and managed to get it the first time. “Just got a lot on my mind, that’s all,” I explain to Violet.
“Mmm hmm…” Violet scoffs and makes her way down the hallway to her own locker. I reach down to grab my backpack, but someone beats me to it.
“Need some help?” The familiar voice whispers in my ear. He leans in front of me, grabs my bag and places it in my locker before I can even answer. His eyes never drop from mine. Now that he is standing close I can smell his cologne. It smells natural, not too chemically like some guys. It’s a masculine scent, a mix of sandalwood and citrus. Burying my nose in his shirt seems way too appealing.
“People are watching,” I say in a hushed tone. I turn to face him thinking that he doesn’t realize that the entire hall is filled with his nosy peers.
“And you care what people think?” Graham smirks causing my heart to skip a few beats. That smile can bring an entire town to their knees. I am beginning to not like the way he gets a rise out of me so easily.
“I don’t, but we both know you do. How are you going to explain slumming in the hallway with me to your buddies?” I get naturally defensive. I’m not being fair to him. I know that, but I can’t stop my insecurities from pooling out of the corners of my mouth.
Graham laughs under his breath. “You’re clueless. You know that right?”
What’s that supposed to mean?
Just as I am about to say something one of the senior football players, I think his name is Deacon, stops dead in his tracks to look at us. “What’s going on here?” he points between the two of us letting his eyes carry over my entire body making me feel uncomfortable as if I am on display. His voice carries through the hallway bouncing off of the concrete walls gaining the attention of everyone nearby. Great as if we already hadn’t grabbed their attention, now they are all staring at us in fascination.
Graham looks around at all of the watchful eyes that are waiting for an explanation. “No way man, I’m just getting some notes from government class. It’s nothing like that,” Graham practically laughs in my face without batting an eyelash while humiliating me. I physically flinch at his obvious disgust with me.
My skin burns red as I look to see a group of girls snickering at me. The football player moves down the hallway accepting Graham’s excuse. Everyone continues back on their original conversations that we had interrupted.
I reach for my crutches as Graham attempts to help me with them. I jerk them out of his reach. “Seriously, what the fuck do you think you are doing?” I utter under my breath with an anger I didn’t know was capable of coming from someone like me.
Graham’s eyes grow large. Obviously he isn’t expecting me to drop such foul language. Not a big surprise, since I usually choose to use more eloquent words when speaking. “I’m just trying to help, Jesus,” he throws his hands up in surrender.
“I don’t need your help and I sure as hell don’t need a friend like you, Graham.” Tears fight to break through, but I refuse to let them finish their decent. I make my way down the hallway in the direction of my first class leaving Graham standing in the hallway alone. I can’t handle another run in with him. It only causes more tears to form where the others have dried. If this is how our “friendship” is going to continue I’m going to be exhausted trying to keep up.
I should know better. Graham’s exactly the type of guy that he warned me about. I hoped that he was different. I’m not even sure why, after everything that has happened. That was his one chance to prove himself and he acted as if talking to me was such a drastic stretch for his popularity.
There is nothing good that could come out of a friendship with someone like Graham. He not only proved that to me just now, but he threw it right in my face. By the way he looks at me I think he expects me to take it from him. He wants me to accept that this is who he is without challenging him.
Chapter Fourteen
-Graham-
To say that I have royally fucked up (again) would be an understatement. Kennedy just threw my first chance to be the person that she thinks I am in my lap and I blew it, like royally screwed it up. What was I thinking? Notes from Government class…really? I should have just said, “I would never try to hook up with someone like Kennedy Conrad. I have standards.”
The look on her face is the only thing that I see during my first two classes and lunch. I look for her in the hallway and in the cafeteria, but haven’t been able to catch her yet. It’s ridiculous for even caring. She’s clearly avoiding me with good reason. I saw the way she looked up at me. The tears she fought hard to hold back made a pit in my stomach grow to unrealistic proportions.
Most girls would have taken the cruel reality of my words without question. A few harsh words have never deterred them from trying to get what they wanted from me in the end. I’m beginning to realize that Kennedy isn’t just any girl. She’s different.
Kennedy wasn’t just hurt, she’s intensely pissed off. She said “fuck” and it sounded dirty coming from that sweet mouth of hers. She’s not the type of girl that throws words like that around. When she says things like ‘fuck’ and ‘damn’, she means all the anger behind them. I kind of like the spunk she has when she’s angry. It’s cute to see her get all worked up.
I know that I have to talk to her to try to apologize. A girl like her isn’t going to make it easy. Kennedy isn’t going to be willing to listen to
me, so I’d just have to make her listen. I had warned her last night that something like this was bound to happen. I’m only meant for destruction.
When Kennedy walks into Government class I know that my plan is well worth the side long glances from my team mates and glares from the girls who begged to sit beside me. She looks around the room for an available seat. Lucky for me, she has the crutches that hinder her from arriving to class early. I sit in the front row with a grin plastered across my face knowing damn well that she doesn’t have any other choice but to sit her tiny little ass next to me.
Kennedy throws her books a little too hard on the table and drops her crutches at her feet before sitting down next to me. I can’t stop the laugh that bubbles up the moment she glares at me folding her arms over her chest in agitation shaking her head. Mr. Stevenson begins class like he usually does with asking random questions from the notes the day before. I get lucky as he skips over me even though I see the look of confusion on his face when he notices I’m not in my usual hiding spot at the back of the room.
“In groups of two, so the person sitting next to you at your table please discuss what you read last night for homework and answer the questions in the print out that I’m going to send around. It should take you most of the hour,” Mr. Stevenson explains. Kennedy sighs at his instructions.
She flips through her notebook and turns her textbook to the beginning of the chapter that was assigned to us in yesterday’s class. “Did you read any of this?” Kennedy asks flipping through the pages of her textbook with a little too much force.
“Last night? How, I was at your house till almost three in the morning?” I reach down to grab my book where it lays on the ground. Kennedy forcefully continues gliding through the pages one by one. “You’re going to rip the pages of that poor book of yours if you keep that up.” As she looks up at me, my eyebrow quirks up playfully.
“Aren’t you funny? I fell asleep as soon as you left, but I think I got the gist of it when I scanned through it this morning,” she explains. Of course Kennedy read through it this morning. She’s just that type. I can’t keep up with this girl. I don’t know what to anticipate. I’m off my game with her.
I reach out to touch her hand, but retract before I make any contact. She notices and immediately tenses up in front of me. “Kennedy, we need to talk,” I beg running my hands down my face. I can feel her slipping away before I even have a full grasp.
“I’m really getting sick of hearing those words come out of your mouth. You made your choices, but that doesn’t mean I need to listen to your reasons, Graham.” She whispers to insure no one overhears. I’m not sure anymore if that small gesture is for her benefit or mine. She’s still avoiding me. I need to see her eyes. They’ll give her away.
I think about the situation for a minute until I speak again. “I screwed up, but in my defense I warned you that this was going to happen. I’m not who you think I am.”
Kennedy looks down at her hands that are folded into each other on her lap. Her knuckles are turning white from the tight grip she has on them. “Mr. Stevenson, can I have a hall pass please?” she requests grabbing her crutches. As she reaches out to grab the pass from his hand that he offered out without question, I make my decision.
I sit in my chair watching her walk out of the room clearly irritated with me once again. I don’t know what comes over me. My feet are moving before my mouth has a chance to catch up.
“Mr. Black where do you think you are going?” Mr. Stevenson hollers to me before I hit the door.
“I forgot my notes in my locker. Just gonna grab them,” I lie walking out before he has the chance to oppose.
Kennedy’s leaning up against the lockers just a few steps down the hallway. You can always tell when you are in trouble by the look on the other persons face and I promise you that I’m in deep shit.
Chapter Fifteen
-Kennedy-
“Seriously, I am not in the mood right now Graham,” I yell to him as he approaches me in the hallway. I want to bang my head against the locker in frustration. I don’t understand Graham’s insistence with me. He’s clearly never worked this hard at anything off of the baseball field, so why the sudden interest?
“I know, but hear me out,” he pleads. “Please.” I should say no or walk away or slap him across his perfect face. The problem is when Graham looks at me the way he is now I find it hard remembering why I am upset in the first place.
I don’t say anything and I suppose that is my way of saying “go for it”. He looks nervous, fidgeting from foot to foot trying to decide if he should keep his hands in his pockets or take them out. With no words coming, I interrupt him.
“Graham spit it out because I’m dying to hear how you’ll talk your way out of this one,” my voice harsh and impatient. I had meant for it to be. I’m not going to be that girl that falls at every word he utters. This is one spell I’m not willing to be under if I have any control over it.
“I’m not trying to talk my way out of anything. Trying to explain it is going to take longer than what we have right now.”
“How about you at least try?” I peer into his eyes searching for any ounce of honesty.
“I’m an ass. There’s a list full of reasons why I behave like I do. None of them excuse my behavior towards you earlier though.”
“I’m listening…” I leave it open for him to continue watching him become more unsure with every breath he takes. A flustered Graham is a sight to see.
“How I made you feel---I’m sorry, but you need to understand something. I’m not used to the type of relationship that I’m attempting to have with you. It sounds incredibly fucking dumb when I say it out loud. Trust me, I know. I’m almost eighteen and have never been friends with a girl. I’m going to make mistakes along the way,” he pauses to think before continuing. “But…if you give me a chance to explain to you then I think you’ll understand. It’s going to take time, but at some point you’ll understand me.”
“Why should I?” I ask with curiousness.
“I don’t have an answer for that.”
“Then I don’t have an answer for you, Graham. I’m not like the girls you hang around. I’m not going to tolerate your bullshit in the hopes that I’ll get my chance to sleep with you. I’m not going to sleep with you, so if that’s all your after then I’m not the girl you want to trial for a “friendship”. You don’t know how to be a friend to me and that’s fine. Just don’t pretend like you do,” I start to walk back to the classroom.
“Kennedy, wait,” Graham tries to stop me.
I don’t bother to turn around as my hand slides over the doorknob. “You don’t owe me anything. Let’s not forget that,” I say without turning to face him. It hurts far too much.
I sit down in my chair as Graham follows in a few steps behind me. We sit across from each other not saying anything. Surprisingly, the hour goes by quick. I can tell he is looking over at me periodically. I quietly read the chapter I hadn’t gotten a chance to read last night and finished off the worksheet Mr. Stevenson passed out in the beginning of class. I sign Graham’s name to the top even though he doesn’t help. He is too busy the entire hour watching my every move to even pretend he is looking for answers in the text. I can feel his eyes all over me, but refuse to give him the satisfaction of looking up to meet them.
We pass each other in the hallway a few times throughout the rest of the week sharing a glance here and there in the others direction, but neither of us says anything. It is radio silence and I’m not sure how I feel about that. Graham returns to his seat in the back of our shared Government class, but continues to act as if we don’t know each other. I keep catching myself staring in his direction no matter how hard I try to force myself to look the other direction.
“Whatcha looking at?” Violet slides in next to me at the cafeteria table that I’m sitting at. I avert my eyes elsewhere trying not to be too obvious, but she has already caught on. “Graham looks hot today. I’d cli
mb that like a tree.”
“Quit quoting Bridesmaids,” I joke with her. Ever since we saw it in the movie theatre she has made it her mission to quote it in her every day conversation. She can’t help herself.
“What are we doing tomorrow?” Violet picks at the salad that sits in front of her. She put too much salad dressing on top. I keep warning her that all the dressing is ruining the whole healthy aspect of eating a salad.
“I’m not doing anything, but I’m sure you have big plans that you want to tell me about.” I fain amusement knowing very well that she has something up her tricky little sleeve.
“You’re going to Craig’s with me and before you protest let me give you three reasons for why you can’t say no to your best friend,” Violet flashes her go to ‘let me get my way’ smile at me. “The first reason is that my birthday is Monday, so I’m celebrating it tomorrow. The second reason is that you haven’t been to a party at all this year…if ever. Consider it my birthday present if you go. The third reason is that whole damn table right over there.” Violet points to Graham and all of his friends. They’re sitting on the other side of the cafeteria from us, clearly harassing each other like teenage boys seem to always be doing.
I think about it for a second. Violet has solid points. I haven’t been to a party all year. Avoiding pushy guys and belligerently drunk girls is my favorite weekend activity. I’m not a prude, but I’m not exactly the life of the party either. Sophomore year was the first time I had my first drink and it didn’t turn out pretty. I spent the whole next day lying on Violet’s bathroom floor with my head straight in the toilet puking up orange juice and vodka. She still wonders why I don’t drink.
When Our Worlds Collide Page 8