“Hey,” I force a smile at Amanda starting my walk towards the school subconsciously trying to get closer to Kennedy. Well, maybe not subconsciously. It was on purpose. See, I’m lying to myself.
“You have baseball practice tonight, but want to do something afterwards?”
We catch up with Craig who’s taking his time walking beside Kennedy who is still having a hell of a time with getting a hang of her crutches. “I was just talking to Kennedy about grabbing a pizza after practice. You guys should go with us,” Craig blurts out.
Before I could object Amanda shrieks. “Count us in.” Amanda kisses me directly on my lips, which is a first for us at school. We usually leave our escapades for after school and the weekends even though everyone knew we had been hooking up for months. Her act of PDA surprises me in the most annoying way possible. I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.
That’s what I had to look forward to tonight now. Kennedy didn’t look too thrilled about the idea either by the way she rolled her eyes when Amanda agreed to make it a double date. Wait, was it a double date? That would imply that Kennedy and Craig were…I let the thought fade out of my head before I thought too much into it. Jealousy wasn’t a trait I wanted to bare, but when it came to Kennedy I didn’t think I had much of a choice in the matter. It was becoming inevitable.
My first few classes and lunch flew by. Luckily, Kennedy opted not to sit at our table with Craig. In fact I didn’t even see her in the cafeteria which I am relieved about. She and I still haven’t talked about what happened on Saturday and not knowing what to say to her made it all that more complicated.
Government is starting to be my favorite class. Not only do I actually enjoy what we are learning because I actually am paying attention, but I get to see Kennedy. She hadn’t talked to me all last week. I was fine with that. She didn’t believe that I was capable of being a friend. I started to sit next to her again. There was a sick happiness that crept in when she glared over at me in the seat next to her.
“Are you going to sit next to me until I say something to you?” Kennedy looks straight ahead pretending to be interested in what Mr. Stevenson has written on the board before class had even started.
“It worked, didn’t it?” I joke and almost see a hint of a smile on her face. She’s fighting against herself to stop it from crossing her face.
“I’m not talking to you, Graham. I’m talking at you. There’s a rather big difference.”
“I’ll take what I can get with you.”
“And why’s that?”
“I already told you. I’d like us to be friends,” I explain. She isn’t buying my shit. Neither am I deep down. I’ve never seen someone’s eyes roll that far. God, she’s truly adorable when she’s mad.
Kennedy turns her entire body to look at me. She’s staring as if she looks long enough what she saw would suddenly change. She lets out a sigh. “I’m calling bullshit, Graham. You don’t want to be my friend.” This irritates me. Kennedy doesn’t know anything about me. Even if she is right, Kennedy is making an assumption about something she doesn’t know anything about. What’s with the cursing too? Maybe it was me that brought it out of her. I’d like to think that I have that much of an affect over her.
“Tell me what I want since you know me so damn well then. Please Kennedy…I’m dying to hear this.” I turn my body to face the front of the classroom and we leave it at that.
What did she mean I didn’t want to be her friend? I’ll admit it, I wasn’t exactly banging down her door to be her friend before the accident and I suppose that night forced me to extend my hand to her. That wasn’t the only reason why. To her it must have all seemed like a pity friendship. That would explain a whole hell of a lot at this point.
Chapter Nineteen
-Kennedy-
Talking with Graham in class is brutal. Our encounter isn’t going to spoil my night. I decide to give Craig a chance. He seems nice enough. I stupidly agree to let Amanda pick me up before dinner since Graham and Craig will need to shower after practice. Craig doesn’t give me much an option anyways. He mentions it in passing to Amanda when I’m standing with him at his locker after school.
Being alone with Amanda isn’t on the top of my to-do list. She has extended the olive branch so what am I supposed to do? If Craig’s going to insist on us hanging out then I guess I will have to make the best of it which means getting along with his friends. It’s not that we are enemies or anything, we just aren’t friends.
“So, you and Craig?” Amanda dives right in as I climb in her car. She’s obviously digging for some sort of dirt. I have no intentions of giving it to her. There’s not much to tell anyways.
“Nothing really to tell,” I throw a forced smile on my face for good measure. Without seeing it, even I can tell I’m uncomfortable.
“Oh come on. Everyone saw you go up to his room on Saturday, so there’s no point in lying about it.” Her voice is snarky and sounds irritated with my short answers. I don’t appreciate what she’s insinuating. I know that I shouldn’t have drank that night.
“Not lying. Nothing happened. I just slept up in his room. Harmless,” I explain in my own defense.
“That’s a shame,” she grins at me.
The ride to the pizza place is sort of out of the way. The awkward silence makes it drill on in slow motion. I don’t understand why we aren’t just going to one closer to town. I don’t argue with her though. It wouldn’t have done any good. The sky is clear and the temperature is just warm enough to roll down the windows. Amanda has an eclectic variety of music which I appreciate. She reminds me more of a pop mainstream hip hop type. Maybe I have judged her too quickly. Radioactive by Imagine Dragon swings out of the speakers pulsing through my veins. I stare over at Amanda as she drives.
“What?” She turns down the stereo.
“Imagine Dragons?” I questioned her choice of music.
“Yeah, what about them?”
“I thought you were more of a Nicki Minaj type is all,” I explain trying not to make it sound like an insult even though I’m positive that it’s just that.
“And I thought you were the good girl type, but here you are grabbing pizza with the devil.” She raises one of her perfectly manicured eyebrows at me. She is either trying to be intimidating or I don’t know what her intentions are.
“I am the good girl type.” I defend myself again.
“And I like Nicki Minaj.” Amanda pulls into a hole in the wall pizza place that’s off the beaten path. I notice Graham’s car and Craig’s truck parked out front. She grabs the keys from the ignition and saunters towards the door before I even get my crutches out of her back seat. This should be interesting. If I wasn’t dependent on these crutches I’d walk home from here and skip the whole night.
I maneuvered through the front door without tripping over my own feet to find the three of them sitting at a booth in the far back corner near one of the large windows. Craig stands up and grabs my crutches for me. I slide across the vinyl bench and sit directly in front of Graham. He looks up at me with the faintest of smiles in greeting. It’s barely there, but I know what I see. It looks to me that it is more of a sympathetic one than an actual greeting. Maybe he doesn’t want to be here just as badly as I do.
We order a few pizzas in between conversations about baseball and other drama at school that I clearly am not in the know about. Amanda does most of the talking. I’m grateful. I have no idea who or what the three of them are talking about most of the time. Amanda makes sure to always have her hands somewhere on Graham’s body. It’s irritating the way she finds any reason to glide a finger over his bicep or playfully punch him in the arm. Did that really work with guys, the dumb playful act? I’m glaring, aren’t I? Why do I even care? Anyone can touch him. It’s allowed. I’m sure he enjoys the attention.
“Did you guys hear about Violet and Dan? Someone said they saw him going into the boathouse wearing her dress,” Amanda laughs. My back stiffens as she talks a
bout Violet. I don’t like it when people talk about people who aren’t present to defend themselves.
“It happened a few weekends back too,” Craig chimes in. It seems distasteful to me how Craig participates in the gossip. I really don’t like where this conversation is headed.
Graham must notice my reaction. He’s watching me from across the booth as I avoid paying attention to what they are saying in front of me. “Like you two haven’t ever done anything embarrassing like that? I recall a time where you were stark naked in the back of Timmy’s pick up after a rather drunk night Amanda and Craig don’t get me started on your past indiscretions.” Both of them send him a death glare telling him to shut up. Craig’s fists are tensed up into hard balls in between mine and his thighs on the booth.
Where did that come from I wonder. Whatever it is I’m appreciative. “Thank you,” I mouth to Graham while the other two busy themselves grabbing slices of pizza off of the silver pedestal.
“You’re welcome,” Graham mouths winking at me. A light blush creeps up my neck and over my cheeks. Why am I affected like this whenever he does something like that?
The night continues as I suspected it would. Amanda drools over everything Graham says. I avoid hands on Craig underneath the table. With every brush of his fingers on my thighs I’m having trouble figuring out how I feel about Craig. Craig is difficult. He has small moments where I understand his appeal. He’s charming and flirtatious, but then there are other moments that peak out to remind me of the type of guy he probably really is when he isn’t lathering on the charm. I continue to have to shy away from his grasp under the table from going farther north of my thigh than I am comfortable with. Graham keeps a watchful eye on our side and at one point he seems to be grinding his teeth. His jaw tenses as he watches me move away from Craig’s lingering touch.
After we are done with eating our pizza we all walk out to the parking lot. Well, I hobble more like it. Graham sticks back to see if I need any help. I shake my head that I’m okay. It’s a sweet gesture though, something Craig didn’t bother to do.
I can’t hold it back any longer and I yawn. “You ready to call it a night?” Craig asks sounding disappointed.
“Yes. I’m sorry. I just have a lot of homework to work on. I had fun though,” I lie. It seemed like the right thing to say. If I were to be honest it wouldn’t have been pretty. Having Craig’s hands all over me tonight made me uncomfortable. I guess after sleeping in a guy’s bed they expect a forwardness from you. He has the wrong idea then because it isn’t ever going to happen.
Graham butts in before Craig has a chance to say anything, “Actually I was going to talk to you about that, Kennedy. I need help with our assignment in Government and I am hoping you could help me with it tonight since it’s due soon.” I don’t know what he’s talking about, but I go along anyways.
“Sure,” I answer. I glanced back at Craig. “Is it okay if I go with Graham that way you don’t have to drive me all the way home since he lives pretty close anyways?” What am I doing? Why am I going along with Graham’s charade? I look over at him as he fights back a laugh which means only one thing. He got his way. Dammit.
“Are you sure?” Craig’s unsure of the situation. I don’t blame him for that. It all seems out of sorts. There is no reason on this planet why I should be riding back with Graham.
“Yeah, I’ll just see you tomorrow at school. Thanks for tonight,” I answer leaning up on my toes to kiss Craig on the cheek quickly. I turn to Graham to say his goodbyes before heading to the passenger side of his car. Amanda openly glares at me as she gets into her car. I think she saw her night ending differently. She’s not the only one.
Neither of us says anything as he turns the key to his ignition and the car comes to life. Graham rolls down his window and leans over to grab his iPod from his glove box. He’s close enough that I can smell his cologne. He tosses the iPod onto my lap and instructs me to pick something. There is something intimate about looking through his music. There’s a lot of rock and hip hop. Most of it I know, but a few things are unrecognizable. I continue to move down the list and came across Katy Perry.
“You a big Katy Perry fan, huh?” I peered at him through my eyelashes doubting he actually listens to her music. She seems too poppy for his style.
“I once knew this girl who danced to her song E.T and I was an instant fan after that,” he flashes his signature smirk at me, the one I’m sure gets him into the beds of half the girls at school.
“That was a big night for me, you know? I was scared to death of dancing in front of everyone.”
“You seemed nervous, but confident. It’s hard to explain.”
“I saw you in the audience and you had this look of wonder in your eyes. I don’t know. It’s stupid, but that’s when I decided to feel different about you.” I blurt out without realizing what I am saying. I know that I went too far and said too much. I have been trying to avoid being Graham’s friend. Somehow whenever he’s around I forget everything else. I should be irritated with him. Every time he flashes that smirk at me I became a blubbering idiot.
“How did you feel about me before that?” Graham’s voice is low with curiosity dripping from every word. He asks the question keeping his eyes on the road clenching his grip on the steering wheel.
“Honestly, I thought you were a douche.” Graham laughs at my admission. “I have heard rumors about you and I guess I believed most of them, but there was always something in your eyes that was different. I can still see it sometimes.” My voice is a near whisper. I smile just thinking about it. I should feel total awkwardness admitting all of that. It never comes.
“You were right about that. There was something different, but it wasn’t me,” he pauses before finishing his thought. “It was you.” I can tell that he’s nervous as soon as the words leave his mouth. It’s the way he sits up straighter, the way his voice changes just enough to be noticeable as if he realizes he’s said the wrong thing.
I quickly change the subject. I don’t want to go down the road we were heading with that conversation. “So, you don’t really have any homework you need help with, do you?”
“No. I just needed an excuse to get you away from them,” he answers honestly. It’s refreshing once again.
“Well you did, now what are you going to do with me?” The words come out before I realize how they probably sound. Graham coughs frantically and I nervously stare out the window.
Graham ponders over this one for a bit as he continues to drive finally calming down from what I had said. He makes an effort not to peer over at me as I sit nervously waiting for what’s going to happen next. When it comes to Graham I always feel at ease even when I’m annoyed with him. He still inflicts a colony of butterflies to flutter in my stomach. Most girls feel that way around guys like him. There’s something about them that makes you drawn to them like moths to a flame. It’s as if you know you are walking into immediate danger, but you don’t mind. Guys like Graham allow you to not have a care in the world.
“Umm…” Graham looks to me then to the road a few times. “Do you need to be home at a certain time?”
“My parents are visiting my brother in California, so I suppose I don’t really have a curfew,” I tell him knowing that I leave the subject open ended again allowing him to interpret it however he wants.
“Do you want to go somewhere to talk?” This is the question that stumps me of all the questions he could have asked. It’s known that Graham is a bit…slutty, for a lack of a better word. I don’t know what I want him to say. Talking isn’t the suggestion I expect from him.
“I’d like that,” I answer with sincerity. There’s no way of knowing how this will end though. It seems that all of our recent conversations have left both of us more infuriated than the ones before. Graham seems to be one of the few people who have managed to weasel under my skin and it seems that I am capable of inflicting the same on him.
Chapter Twenty
-Graham-
I don’t know where to go. Where do you go with a girl you barely know? Somehow we still managed to form a connection through all the misfortune. It may not make any sense, but there’s a connection there somewhere.
I drove around for a while. I don’t think either Kennedy or I knew where I was headed until we pulled into her driveway. I knew taking her to my house was out of the question. My dad would be in his usual drunken stupor by now. He just got back from a business trip earlier today. He’d be stressed. When he’s stressed he tends to nurse the bottle a little too hard.
“We’re going back to my place?” Kennedy asks looking out the window with a scared gleam in her eye.
“Is it okay? It’s just…I don’t really want to go back home just yet,” I explain. She nods nervously. I run over to her side of the car to help her with her crutches.
“These things are so uncomfortable.” Kennedy says to herself as she heads towards her front door putting the key in the front door swinging the steel slab open.
“I’ll show you a trick,” I gesture towards the kitchen as I follow behind her. “I’ll just need two dish clothes and duct tape.” She pulls open a drawer full of different towels. I bend down to grab a few. As I turn around I almost think I catch Kennedy ogling my ass.
“Duct tape should be in the side drawer over there.” Kennedy motions to a long drawer beside the refrigerator quickly turning around towards the island with a blush on her cheeks from being caught. There is a small urge to call her out on it.
Kennedy jumps up on one of the kitchen stools at the breakfast bar as I work on wrapping the crutch with the dish towels securing the fabric with the tape.
“Here, try these out now,” I hand the crutches into Kennedy. She’s eager to take them from me. After a lap around the kitchen table she turns towards me with a smile on her face.
When Our Worlds Collide Page 11