“Girlfriend,” I say the word trying to emphasize how serious I am.
“You’ve got to be shitting me?” Veronica shouts out above all of the chatter that’s surrounding us making everyone to stop their private conversation to watch the show that’s bound to unfold with her outburst. “Graham ‘The Man Whore’ Black has a girlfriend. Write it down in the books. This is a fucking first.”
Veronica eyes fall over to Kennedy with a look of disgust. Surprisingly Kennedy doesn’t bat an eyelash at her tantrum. She’s the depiction of cool and collected.
Veronica addresses Kennedy resting her hands on the table directly in front of us. “Let me guess? He told you how special you are, how no girl holds a torch to you? Then once he worked his magic on you, you found yourself with your pants down but your shirt still on, right?” Kennedy doesn’t say anything but looks at Veronica with pity. “Don’t waste your time sweetheart. Guys like Graham don’t have girlfriends, especially not innocent ones like you. You’re a flavor of the week. You’ll never be anything more than that.”
“That’s enough Veronica,” I put a hand up to stop her tirade with a stern and demanding tone. I just want this to be over with. Not exactly how I imagined our first date going.
Kennedy pushes my hand down. I can feel the steam rolling off of her as she and Veronica stare each other down. Kennedy’s angry and I have never seen her like this. I have a feeling I’m going to need to buckle up for the ride. Kennedy is anything but a coward.
“No Graham, she’s right,” Kennedy’s voice is low, almost a near whisper.
“What?” I’m more confused now than before. Kennedy places a hand on my cheek landing a kiss on my lips quickly before turning her attention back to our waitress.
“Graham Black doesn’t do girlfriends is what everyone keeps telling me, but here I am. So perhaps maybe everyone else is wrong. You must be wrong,” Kennedy glares up at our waitress with a smile. “Everyone’s wrong because here I am on a Friday night sitting in this booth while some girl who I’m sure dropped her pretty little lace panties without much of a snap of a finger telling me something that I already know. The best part is that I don’t give a shit what you have to say because you’re standing their taking our order while I’m sitting here next to the guy who doesn’t do girlfriends.” Kennedy does air quotes when she says girlfriends.
Each of us stares at Kennedy. All of our mouths gaping with surprise. I grab Kennedy’s hand under the table squeezing it in appreciation of her jumping to both of our defense. Veronica watches the two of us together. She must think that if she stares long enough that something will change, but it doesn’t and it won’t.
“We’ll have a large meat lover’s pizza and a medium pineapple and ham. Thank you,” Kennedy orders without dropping her defensive eyes from Veronica. Violet stifles a laugh but it’s loud enough for everyone to hear. Veronica storms off back towards the kitchen.
“She’s going to spit in our food, right?” Dan offers laughing at his own joke making the rest of us fall in with him. We all go silent once the situation sets in.
Kennedy turns her body to face forward keeping her hand entangled with mine. I think I’m still in shock at Kennedy’s brazen reaction to Veronica. Spending nights worrying over how Kennedy will respond to my past doesn’t matter now. I’m pleasantly surprised with her reaction. She handled herself with her head held high not allowing someone to take anything away from our relationship.
“Okay, I’m going to say it since no one else will. Who the hell are you and what did you do to my best friend?” Violet eyeballs Kennedy from across the table. “That was impressive.”
“I think she’s still right here,” Kennedy smiles with a prideful gleam in her eye and a smirk to match it.
“I thought you were going to get up and beat that girl’s ass,” Dan addresses the elephant in the room a little less subtly. “Remind me to never piss you off.”
“It seems that jealousy reared its ugly head at a certain waitress,” Violet sneered in the direction that Veronica had headed.
“I don’t think it was jealousy. She was just protecting what is rightfully hers,” I correct them. Kennedy kisses me on the cheek as I lightly elbow her in her side in appreciation.
Veronica never comes back to our table. However, we did get our pizza unscathed as far as we can tell from first inspection. Trust me, we double checked. The conversation veers off of Kennedy’s battle with the unexpected waitress and quickly turns towards something lighter. We talk about baseball mostly. It doesn’t go unnoticed that Kennedy’s body freezes up at the mention of Georgia.
I look over at her and she quickly diverts her eyes focusing on Violet who’s giving her the look. You know the one? The one that passes between two people like a silent conversation---I think the female population has this tactic down to a tee. Violet excuses herself from the table and Kennedy follows quickly behind her. I make an effort to ask her if she’s okay. Of course, she says she is. I watch Kennedy as her figure recedes into the back corner of the restaurant. My eyes stay on her until I can’t see her anymore.
“You’ve got it bad,” Dan snickers shaking his head in almost disbelief.
“You’ve got no idea, man,” I say under my breath looking back towards Dan who’s smiling at me like I just let him in on the secrets of the world.
Chapter Forty-One
-Kennedy-
The three of them watch me intently refusing to take their eyes away as if something will change if they let their eyes wander elsewhere. I don’t know what they’re waiting for. Maybe a few tears. Maybe a few curse words. Perhaps an explanation, but Graham covered that for me. The fight in me is unexpected. Graham’s and mine relationship is mine to protect. Having someone I don’t know from Adam tell me what she believes our relationship to be is the one thing to tip me over the edge.
When Veronica approached our table to take our drink orders I knew instantly that Graham “knew” her and I use that word loosely. It was evident that he had slept with her before she even got to Graham’s drink order. She leaned into him closer than most waitresses would dare batting her eyelashes in a seductive attempt to get his attention. Before me, I’m sure he would have jumped at the opportunity. I’m not blind. She’s beautiful just as I’m sure all the others are. She has dark auburn hair, a lean body, and piercing brown eyes. There isn’t much not to like about her.
It’s a losing battle. I can’t stop my mind from wondering how many more times this will happen. How many others are there exactly? I’m sure the number would make my skin crawl. There will never come the day when I ask him for that number. It’s meant to be kept a secret, buried deep down for me not to ever find out.
The conversation quickly changes from my little spark of confidence to Graham’s baseball career. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous of him. This is a revolving disagreement with Graham and me. My options are on a constant replay in my head. Graham’s going off to play baseball and I’m stuck after graduation. Just as Graham’s meant to play ball I know in my heart that I’m meant to dance. Now that might not be an option. With a broken leg it’s kind of hard to dance. As Graham’s dreams are coming true mine are getting further away from me.
I don’t resent him in the slightest. Don’t twist my words around. He’s earned the privilege to do what he loves. He works his ass off every day to play the game, but there’s a devil sitting on my shoulder reminding me that the only reason why he’s going to get his chance is because I made a decision that night. It’s a decision that freed him of being responsible for his actions. I know I wouldn’t change anything that has happened. That doesn’t stop me from wondering if he ever thinks about how that night affects me.
Somewhere along the way in spite of everything that’s happened I started falling for Graham. When he’s near I can feel it all the way down to my bones. It’s in the way he looks at me. He’s the one and he came along, so why is it that when I think about never dancing again I find myself placing th
e blame on the only boy I’ve ever loved?
The honest to God truth is I can live without dancing if Graham’s in my life.
There, I said it and now it’s out there. Well technically it’s not out there because I’ve only said it to myself. Somehow I don’t think that will matter. As much as I’d love to believe that this boy that’s sitting next to me will see a future with me after we graduate, that might not be my reality. Hell, I’d be happy if he can guarantee me we’ll still be together by prom.
I keep telling myself that Graham’s the guy he keeps showing me he is---the one that despite his reputation makes grand announcements in the cafeteria and kisses me on the forehead before running off to practice. He holds my hand when he knows I’m uneasy. I pray that he will still be the guy that I’ve fallen for when we hit the impasse of what could be the failure of our relationship.
I look across the table towards my best friend. We are in tune with each other. Like always she can tell that I’m inside my own head. Violet’s always been good at that. That’s why our friendship has worked so well. She’s the crazy, spunky, fly by the seat of her pants type and I’m the exact opposite. I’m high strung and predictable.
“Dan, move. I need to go to the bathroom,” Violet pushes on his arm to get by him while giving me a half-hearted smile. I know exactly what she’s up to. I untie my fingers from Graham’s picking up my purse.
“I’ll go with you,” my voice even to me sounds off. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Graham. He always has an advantage of knowing when something is bothering me. Usually I find his perceptiveness an endearing perk to our relationship. Right now it’s a pain.
“You okay?” Graham asks as he stands reaching for me with his hand to help me out of the booth.
“Of course,” I reply with a shaky voice kissing him on the cheek.
Violet grabs my hand dragging me to the back hallway. There’s a missing light bulb making the hallway unnaturally dark. I’m a few steps behind Violet when she slams the bathroom door open. The space is empty thankfully. I step in behind her and lean up against the door. My eyes are shut, but I can tell she is keeping a watchful eye fixed on me.
“Spit it out,” Violet’s voice rings with understanding. I open my eyes to see her sitting on the countertop with a soft sympathetic smile.
“You know there are more germs on that countertop than what’s in that toilet,” I avoid her question pointing at the open stall.
“Nice try and you know I’m a little dirty anyways.” Violet winks. I can’t stop myself from rolling my eyes at her remark.
All I have to do is spit it out, like she said. Get it off my chest and there’s no one better to do that with than my best friend. She’ll act understanding and nod when it’s appropriate because that’s what friends do.
“I’m…I’m afraid…” my voice trails off before I can bunch the thought together into an actual sentence.
“Jesus Kennedy, get it out already. The boys are going to think we fell in. What are you afraid of?” Her voice rose, but I know she wasn’t trying to be forceful. She just knows me well enough to know that sometimes I need an aggressive push.
“That at some point Graham’s going to go off and play baseball in some far off school and I’m going to be stuck picking up the pieces of our doomed relationship. You saw how beautiful that girl was out there. Those are the types of girls guys like him end up with. Not the plain Jane type like me,” I pause to collect my scattered thoughts because by now I am rambling barely taking a breath in between words. “He’ll have a million girls chasing after him in college and then not to mention the trillions that will try to screw him when he makes it pro because I know he’s going to and when he does I’m just going to be a memory to him. Something he tells his buddies about when they are all reminiscing about the girls they fucked in high school. I’m going to be a story and that’s all I’ll ever be to him.”
OH GOOD GOD! That felt good to say out loud.
Violet jumps down from the counter top taking the few steps she needs to be directly in front of me. She doesn’t saying anything, but I can tell she’s processing all the information that I just gave her. It’s when she opened her mouth that I’m taken by surprise.
“You’re a fucking idiot Kennedy Lucille Conrad,” she says poking me in the middle of my forehead. My eyes grow wider as she looks at me with disdain and what would appear to only be describes as annoyance. That’s not the reaction I’m looking for or even expect from her.
“I’m an idiot?” my voice echoes off the tiled walls of the bathroom.
“That boy out there adores you. Of course he can’t promise you what’s going to happen down the road. Don’t you dare shut down because you’re afraid that he’s going to leave you behind. You don’t know what will happen tomorrow or the next day but I know one thing to be true,” Violet shakes her head back and forth as she explains. “You are falling in love with him and it’s scary. I get that, I really do.”
“I’m terrified that at some point his reputation is going to catch up to us. He’s human and he’s already proved that to be true when he slept with Amanda. I can defend him until I’m blue in the face because I’d like to believe that I’m not just another notch on his bed post, but what if I am? What if he just…crushes me?”
“You won’t know unless you dive in head first, Kennedy,” Violet smiles at me sympathetically. “I know it’s not something you’re used to doing, but you really need to let you and Graham happen and see where it goes.”
“You’re right,” I confess.
“Excuse me? Did you just say I was right for once?” We both laugh at her reaction to my revelation. Violet jumps down from the counter engulfing me in a hug then smacking me on the butt.
“Ow, that hurt,” I say rubbing the sore skin trying to alleviate the sting. “For being so little, you sure do pack some heat behind a smack.”
“I’m sure if Graham was the one doing the spanking you wouldn’t be bitching about it.”
“Funny.” Not funny, but now all I can think about it Graham spanking me. Thanks a lot Violet.
“Now let’s go back out there to those two hot pieces of ass and be young and crazy,” Violet pulls the bathroom door open waiting on me to step out. She leans in to whisper in my ear. “If you ever call yourself plain Jane again I’ll punch you in the tit, got it?”
My laughter only increased as we made our way back to the table. Graham and Dan already paid the bill. I offer to leave the tip but Graham waves me off. He smiles at me and I feel my heart skip a beat. Violet’s right which is hard to admit to myself. I’d like to believe that I’m the insightful one. She’s right that Graham and I can’t even begin to predict what will happen in the future. I need to come to terms with that. I need to put trust into our relationship or else I’ll drive myself crazy.
The four of us walk out into the parking lot in silence. Violet breaks the awkwardness by jumping on Dan’s back pretending to ride him like a Clydesdale. She’s smacking him on the butt hollering at the top of her lungs for him to “giddy up”. Being carefree like Violet seems impossible.
Graham reaches down grabbing my hand interlocking our fingers. He knows my head is foggy. He’s only trying to draw me out of the darkness.
“What do you want to do now?” he asks eagerly not wanting our night to end.
Violet jumps off of Dan’s back to fall in stride with the two of us. She’s bouncing up and down with a cunning smirk across her face.
“I have an idea at what we could do,” Violet states as she climbs into the passenger side of Dan’s truck. The three of us look to each other with fascination and fear. Violet’s head pops up over the roof of the truck. “Come on, assholes. We’ve got shit to do.”
Chapter Forty-Two
-Graham-
“What are we doing at the old high school?” Kennedy asks. Her attempt to look the three of us directly in the eyes is adorable, but not working. At least if I don’t look her directly in the eyes she won�
��t be able to see how I’m feeling being back in this parking lot. This place is one secret I’d like to keep.
The old high school has been vacant since the new one was built nearly a year ago. My grandfather donated the money for the new building making him more powerful in this town than he was before. I didn’t know that was possible. Money always makes others nervous and has the capability to hide secrets.
Grandfather is known for his donations and charitable contributions to the most important foundations in town. It balances out the fear in others. As good as a man my grandfather is, unannounced to him he raised a neglectful abusive son while he was too busy treating this town with his generosity.
Even with all of my family issues and bullshit, I like to think that I’ve become a decent guy. I haven’t always been on that side of the spectrum though. I have a past…a past that haunts me throughout Kennedy’s and mine relationship. Look what happened at the restaurant tonight with Veronica and then the accident with Kennedy. My choices haunt me every day. Trying my hardest to be the guy that she wants me to be is hard. Every mistake I’ve made that’s popped up makes it impossible to believe that he’s even in there.
“Is anyone going to answer me?” Kennedy asks again with nervousness. The silence is uncomfortable making it clear that there’s something that we are hiding.
Violet’s kicking at the dirt beneath her sandals while Dan’s playing with the buttons on his shirt feeling awkward. I’m biting the inside of my cheek with frustration and feeling eerily nervous leaning on the hood of my car. Kennedy saddles up next to me playfully elbowing me in the ribs. I wince at the contact. My reaction is a small part of a big story---one that I don’t want Kennedy to open the cover to. She already knows the words that are written on the inside. My story isn’t pretty---at least it wasn’t until Kennedy came along.
When Our Worlds Collide Page 27