Daisy stilled in his arms. This was the first time Nikolai had offered any personal information regarding his background. “And your parents?”
His jaw tightened. “Dead.”
“No, I meant—”
“I know what you meant, Daisy.” Nikolai’s expression was hard, his eyes empty of emotion as he straightened after placing her on the bed. “My mother was a prostitute.” He smiled tightly as she gave a soft gasp. “As my father never married my mother, and she never knew which of her ‘customers’ he was, I never knew him either. So perhaps bastard might be a more apt description for me than barbarian?”
Daisy wasn’t fooled for a moment by his hard dismissal, could feel the challenge in him as he looked down at her. Because he had been hoping to shock her? To use his background to emphasize how different the two of them were. As if she had needed any convincing of that. She knew Nikolai’s life had been very different from her own, but differences could be a good thing. They certainly stopped life from becoming boring.
There were so many questions Daisy now wanted to ask him. What his childhood had been like as the son of a prostitute. Where he had lived. How he had lived.
The tension in his body and that hard challenge of his expression, along with the cold glitter of his eyes, dared her to ask them.
“No, I think barbarian fits you perfectly,” she assured him with forced sweetness.
The tension eased a little from his shoulders. “For the record, we don’t call them goons anymore.”
She stared up at him blankly for several minutes before realizing he was referring to her earlier comment. “Then what do you call them?”
“Associates,” he drawled. “And, unless you’ve forgotten, you are currently one of Gregori’s associates.”
She gave a shake of her head. “No matter what Boris Petrov has done, I can’t condone murder, Nikolai.”
He sat down on the side of the bed, the warmth of his muscled denim-clad thigh very close to where her arm rested on top of the bedclothes. “No one is going to be murdered, Daisy. As you said, we would all end up being arrested.”
She studied him. “What happened in Bangkok last year…?”
“A Thai businessman named Wongsawat admired the view from the balcony of Gregori’s hotel suite.”
She had already guessed that much. “I asked what happened?”
Nikolai shrugged. “He decided he preferred the view from a standing position rather than dangling upside down from the top of a fifty-floor building.”
Her eyes widened. “You hung him over the balcony by his ankles?”
“Well, not me personally. He was a rather…corpulent man. But yes, several of my men helped him to admire that unique view.”
Daisy gave a shake of her head. “And you claim you’re no longer called goons.”
“We’re not,” he drawled.
“Why did you do it?”
“Wong—as we affectionately called him—entered into a business deal with Gregori, and for some reason thought he could get away with defrauding the Markovic business empire out of a billion dollars.”
A billion dollars.
“It was all on paper, of course,” Nikolai continued conversationally. “An adjustment here, an amendment there, but it still added up to a billion dollars.”
Daisy wished he would stop saying that so casually. She couldn’t even imagine what a billion dollars looked like, let alone how anyone might think they could get away with stealing that amount of money from the powerful head of London’s Russian mafia.
“I take it Mr. Wongsawat had a change of heart?”
Nikolai grinned. “Once he stopped heaving up the contents of his stomach, yes.”
She nodded. “And you believe that same tactic will work on Boris Petrov?”
His humor faded as quickly as it had appeared. “I believe he’ll be persuaded into seeing the error of his ways, yes.”
“And if he doesn’t?”
“He will,” Nikolai assured her with certainty.
“I want to be there—”
“The doctor said you need to rest—”
“He also said I should avoid stress.” She gave him a pointed glance.
“There’s no reason why you need to be anywhere near when Petrov is here. I’m sure that my men, along with Seth and Jonas, will be more than sufficient to deal with the problem.”
Daisy snorted. “You seriously think I can just lie in here resting when I know you’re dangling a man over the balcony by his ankles— I have no idea why that should sound so amusing,” she murmured as a sudden—hysterical?—chuckle caught at the back of her throat.
But it refused to stay there, bubbling up to the surface as she began to laugh in earnest.
A reaction to the past few days, most especially the shooting this morning, Nikolai decided as he sat and watched Daisy guffaw and snort. He allowed it to continue for several minutes, knowing she needed this release of emotion.
“Okay, that’s enough,” he murmured as tears started to mingle with the laughter, escaping to fall down her cheeks like rain. He took her in his arms when she couldn’t seem to stop doing either.
“Usually I never cry, and now I can’t seem to stop,” she hiccupped in between sobs.
“It’s okay, Daisy,” Nikolai soothed into the silkiness of her hair.
“It is not okay.” She shook her head, arms about his waist as she clung to him. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she wailed.
“Well, let’s see. In the past two days, you’ve had people shooting at you, been on board a plane that almost crashed, and experienced the best sex you’ve ever had in your life, so I would take a guess on this being the result of emotional overload—”
“I don’t ever remember saying that about the sex,” she protested as she pulled out of his arms to gaze up at him.
Trust Daisy to latch on to that part of his comment. And no, she hadn’t, but as it was the best sex Nikolai had ever known, and he was so much more experienced than she was, then he would take a guess on that being the same for Daisy. Besides, the outrageous statement had the desired effect of stopping her tears.
He quirked one blond eyebrow. “Are you going to deny it?”
Daisy couldn’t see the point in doing that. Sex with Nikolai had been the best she’d ever had. It had been the only sex she’d ever had. But even so, she knew it had been good. Mind-blowing.
Besides, her body was currently having its normal reaction to having Nikolai close. Her breasts were full and aching, the nipples tingling. There was a wild fluttering in her stomach. And as for the rising heat between her thighs…
She could see that Nikolai wasn’t unaffected by their close proximity either. His silver eyes glittered with a burning intensity as he gazed hungrily at her mouth. There was a flush along his high cheekbones. His breathing had become shallow. And there was a distinct and rapidly rising bulge beneath his jeans.
The sudden sexual tension between them was palpable.
Partly from their reaction to each other, and partly from the adrenaline high of being shot at. At surviving the shooting.
She placed a hand on his thigh, instantly feeling the tensing of the muscles beneath his jeans. “Make love to me, Nikolai.”
His tension increased. “I said there would be no sex.”
“That was last night. This is this morning.”
“Even so—”
“Make love to me, Nikolai.” Daisy rose up on her knees to place her hands on his shoulders. “Please.”
Oh dear God!
That word, so effective last night when he asked Daisy to sleep in the bed with him now had the same effect on Nikolai. How could he deny Daisy anything when she looked at him so appealingly? So sure of what she wanted?
Him.
And God knows he wanted her.
He couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t wanted her. His life “before Daisy” had taken on a hazy indistinctness, as if none of his senses had truly been alive
until he met her.
Everything seemed more vivid now. Colors. Tastes. Sex.
“Please, Nikolai,” she repeated throatily.
He had almost lost this woman this morning. Just an inch or two to the right, and the bullet would have gone straight into her brain rather than grazing her temple and then through the window. Daisy would now be dead rather than vibrantly alive in front of him. Or suffering that brain damage she had mentioned earlier, totally destroying the mouthy and fiery Daisy he enjoyed being with, and leaving a vacuous if beautiful woman in her place.
Just the thought of that was enough to make Nikolai shudder.
He winced. “I’m not sure I can give you the gentleness you deserve.”
But he hadn’t said an outright no this time, Daisy recognized happily.
Nikolai seemed…different today somehow, as if this second near brush with a fatal bullet had shaken him more than it had the first time. Perhaps because they knew each other so much better now, liked each other so much more after having made love with each other for hours?
Whatever the reason, Daisy felt no shame whatsoever in taking advantage of the lack of conviction in Nikolai’s tone. “Would you rather another man did? Whoa…” An expression of such violence had come over Nikolai’s face—his eyes were glittering slits, skin stretched tautly over those amazing cheekbones, his mouth a thin line, jaw tight—that Daisy reared back slightly. “Guess not,” she murmured happily as she allowed her hands to roam freely over the hard contours of his chest in the fitted T-shirt. He felt so warm, so muscled, just so Nikolai.
He gave a shake of his head. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“Seducing you?” she suggested hopefully.
He gave a husky laugh. “Oh, you do that just by being you.”
Her eyes widened. “I do?”
“You do.” He nodded self-derisively, placing his hands over hers to stop their wandering. “I’m just not sure you’re really up to what I want from you right now.” He eyed her searchingly.
Nikolai cared about hurting her, Daisy realized. It wasn’t love. That would be asking for too much. But he did care. She had a feeling it was a first for Nikolai in regard to the women he took to his bed. “I could always just lie back and think of England while you do all the work?” she teased him.
“I’d rather you thought of me than England,” he growled.
As if she could think of anything else but Nikolai when they were alone together like this. As if she’d thought of anything else but Nikolai since the moment she’d been assigned to protect him.
Initially, he had just been another overconfident—arrogant—and too-handsome-for-his-own-or-any-woman’s-good man to her. Much like her brothers and the men she worked with.
After the two of them had spoken in that alley the first night, she had been convinced Nikolai was all those things.
Later that day, she had also discovered how infuriating he could be, as he dismissed the idea of anyone believing he could ever be attracted to someone like her.
Everything had changed later that night. She went to Utopia with the intention of teaching him a lesson, in manners, if nothing else, and instead he had made love to her until she couldn’t think of or feel anything but him.
Everything that had happened since that moment—the two of them together in his hot tub yesterday morning, the hours they had spent in bed making love together, just being held in his arms last night because he wanted her there—had all made her fall for him a little more each time.
She asked herself again whether or not she was in love with Nikolai.
Again the answer was maybe.
If she wasn’t now, then she knew she definitely would be after—if—they made love together.
She gave a half smile. “I promise I’ll think only of you.”
“I’d make sure of it,” he said gruffly.
“Well?” she prompted as he continued to just look at her.
“Patience is a virtue, Daisy.”
“I thought I had just finished saying that the last thing I want to be right now is virtuous!”
Nikolai could see that in the feverish glow of her eyes, the high color in her cheeks, and the impatient pout to her slightly parted and rosy lips.
He should continue to say no.
It was the right thing to do and— “What the hell are you doing?” He gasped as Daisy moved back to untie and throw off her robe.
“It’s hot in here, don’t you think?” She watched him beneath lowered lashes as she took off the red vest top next.
It had just gotten very hot in here.
Jesus.
Daisy’s breasts were so beautiful, delicious to look at, and yet he knew they were soft to the touch. They were also tipped with engorged rose-colored nipples just begging to have his mouth on them.
She kept her challenging green gaze on his as she shimmied the black boxers down her hips and then lower, revealing the trimmed thatch of blonde curls between her thighs.
Nikolai’s self-control was legendary. In business. As the head of Markovic security. In his relationships with women. He was the Ice Man. A cold and emotionless machine.
Daisy stripped every last measure of that ice and self-control away from him as she stood and allowed the boxers to fall down to her ankles before stepping out of them to stand completely naked in front of him.
Tempting him.
Challenging him.
Daring him.
Chapter 12
Daisy knew the exact moment that Nikolai gave up fighting both her and the desire he admitted feeling for her. She saw it in the way his gaze raked over her hungrily, his hands unfurling from clenched fists as he began to slowly rise to his feet.
Which was just as well, because her bravado in standing here stark naked before him would have lasted for only a few more seconds before she resorted to blushing and covering herself.
She didn’t hesitate once he was standing in front of her, her gaze continuing to hold his as she stepped forward to grasp the bottom of his T-shirt and pull it up his chest and then over his head. She dropped the T-shirt to the floor before her fingers moved to the fastening of his jeans.
One of his hands moved to cover hers and halt the action. “Not yet. I’ll never last if you touch me,” he explained huskily. “What about protection, Daisy? We can’t— What the hell are you doing?” he barked as her hand moved to the back pocket of his jeans.
“Ta-da.” She held up his wallet triumphantly before flipping it open and taking out the condom he kept in there. “Mm, well in date too, I see.” She dropped the wallet down onto the floor with his T-shirt.
“Even with a condom… If I’m to be your first, then I need—I need to make sure you’re completely ready before—before… Hell, Daisy, I’m not sure I can do this.” His fingers encircled both her wrists as he held her away from him, his face pale. “I’m too tightly strung here. I can’t be responsible for causing you any more pain!” He released her to stride across the room and look out the window, the back he had turned toward her tense as he thrust his hands into his jeans pockets.
Daisy was at a loss for several seconds, wanting to go to him but afraid of further rejection. Except he hadn’t left the bedroom. If Nikolai really didn’t want to be with her, then surely he would have put that distance between them too?
There could be only one explanation for that. Nikolai wanted her, but he was as nervous about taking her virginity as she was determined to give it to him.
“Nikolai.”
Even the husky sound of Daisy’s voice was enough to send a quiver of reaction through Nikolai’s body, an awareness, a need he was trying so hard to control. To deny.
He wasn’t the right man for this. For Daisy. He would only end up hurting her, physically and emotionally. He didn’t know how to do this, to give her the tenderness and care necessary for taking her virginity, let alone how to deal with her emotions afterward.
Gregori did it for Gaia.
Nikolai wasn’t Gregori. Yes, the two men had once been very alike. Both emotionally closed off. Never letting anyone in.
Never letting anyone close enough to have the power to hurt us.
Gregori had willingly given Gaia that power when the two of them fell in love with each other.
Was that was this was about? Was Nikolai afraid that by doing this, he would be giving Daisy the power to hurt him rather than not wanting to hurt her? Was he hiding behind that fear—
“Nikolai.”
Her voice was more insistent this time, but low and husky, just like it was when she was physically aroused. She gave a low groan. What the hell—
Nikolai’s breath audibly left his lungs as he turned to glance across the room and saw what Daisy was doing.
She was no longer standing beside the bed but lying on it, feet flat on the bedclothes, legs bent at the knee and apart. One of her hands was between those parted thighs, fingers slowly stroking the moist velvet-red lips and the swollen nubbin above. The other hand cupped one of her breasts as the finger and thumb flicked and tweaked the engorged nipple before lavishing the same attention on its twin.
Daisy pleasuring herself was the most erotic sight Nikolai had ever seen.
He walked toward her as if in a dream, never taking his eyes off her for even a second while the morning sunlight streamed across the bed, not wanting to miss a single stroke or squeeze. Her breathing grew labored, and she began to moan in earnest as her pleasure grew and intensified.
Nikolai stopped at the foot of the bed to gaze down at her, watching, absorbing everything she did. Those slick and stroking fingers between her thighs began to move faster, harder, as she no longer tweaked and flicked her nipples but squeezed them almost to the point of pain, her groans becoming louder, huskier. The juices flowed between those now ruby-red lips and over her stroking fingers.
“You’ve done this before,” he acknowledged gruffly.
She watched him between half-closed lids. “I said I was a virgin, not an innocent.”
Nikolai’s cock was hard as stone and straining to be released. It pressed demandingly against the zip of his jeans, pre-cum wetting the heavy material as it rubbed abrasively against the swollen and sensitive head.
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