There was another year during the early ‘80s when Rangers weren’t exactly setting the heather alight in Scottish football. The Aberdeen supporters revelled in it, as their team were not only conquering Scotland but Europe as well. I remember one of my friends, an officer from one of the Central Belt prisons who I knew very well, sent me up a poem to be read out at one of our Burns suppers.
It read:
O’ Lord heap blessing on the soup,
Heap blessing on the stovies,
Heap blessings on the Papes and Jews,
The Muslims and Jehovies.
Heap blessings on all gathered here,
On absent friends and strangers and if you’ve any blessings left
For Christ’s sake help the Rangers!
As you can imagine it went down a storm. The Aberdeen fans were delighted to make fun of one of their great rivals.
The Burns suppers at Craiginches continued for a number of years and were a great success. It was good to celebrate the life of the bard – rather than prisoners being barred from all contact outside the prison walls!
We also invited the pensioners along for a few Christmas parties. That was an extension from the Burns supper. Local performer Hyldie Grinstead came along with some of her fellow musicians from the local scene and provided the music for our Christmas parties. There were thirty pensioners from the local Torry pensioners group who were invited in for their Christmas dinner and a party. Hyldie was also given some unusual backing in one performance. Hyldie recalled: ‘The atmosphere at those parties was great. The prison governor, Mr Rattray, even got up and sang and played his guitar.’ We sat the pensioners down and gave them their three course dinner. Then one of the prisoners would come in all dressed up, sometimes in a Santa Claus outfit, and walk in with the big Christmas cake that had been made for the day. The cake was cut and was then served up after the meal with their tea and coffee.
Then the boys would come through from A Hall and the pensioners and prisoners would be up dancing. It was great to see. Everybody saw that the afternoon event was a real highlight and you could see everyone really enjoyed it, from the staff to the prisoners and our esteemed visitors, and the success of the event was down to the prison catering staff, who never ever let us down at events like this.
20
Get that Rangers Fan Behind Bars!
Andy Cameron (MBE) behind bars. Now that is a sight many people would pay to see, especially Celtic and Aberdeen fans who have been at the centre of his merciless jibes since he started his legendary stand-up routine.
The Glasgow-based comedian has long been one of Scotland’s favourite and most-loved comedians. His razor-sharp wit and killer punchlines means that when he is in full flow nothing and no one is safe or off-limits.
The funnyman was probably made famous for the Scotland World Cup 1978 single ‘Ally’s Tartan Army’. It came out at the time when the team qualified for the finals in Argentina on the crest of a wave under Ally MacLeod – another Craiginches visitor – brainwashing the nation that his team were going to come back as world champions. I knew that Andy had done a few prison visits before and I thought it would be worth trying to get him up to Craiginches. Andy had entertained the masses at Barlinnie, Cornton Vale and Peterhead and I was hoping he would add Aberdeen to that list.
The football visits and music nights had been very popular and I was in no doubt Andy would be a smash hit with the inmates.
So I wrote to Andy personally and asked if he would be willing to come up to the Granite City. I wasn’t sure because he is a massive Rangers fan and I knew that coming up to Aberdeen was like entering the lion’s den for him. Aberdeen had been the main challengers to Rangers in the late 1980s and early 1990s and there was and still remains a massive rivalry between the two teams and sets of fans.
I wasn’t sure what response I would get but I was pleasantly surprised. Andy wrote back and said he would be delighted to come up and do a gig at HMP Aberdeen. He was first class and said he would do it free of charge because he always liked to give something back to the prisoners.
Andy, speaking to Aberdeen Journals, explained his reason for giving up time to the Scottish Prison Service. He said: ‘Why do I do it? Well, let’s face it, it could be me or any of us sitting in there. We’re just kidding ourselves if we think we couldn’t end up in a place like this. You can get into trouble very easily when you’re young. Some teenagers rebel against their parents, others get political but many go into crime. Obviously, you have got to take some of the blame yourself for ending up in a place like this, but very often the blame can go other ways as well. I’m here now and I can walk out but these guys are here to stay and that’s punishment enough. Whatever these guys have done, you have to remember they all have people who love them.’Andy came up to the prison and was given a guided tour by the governor, Leslie McBain, and myself, and then he took to the stage where he entertained more than ninety prisoners for more than half an hour.
Nothing was off limits and everyone got it whether they were from the world of politics, religion or football. Andy set the tone early on when he opened with a joke that went something like this. ‘Knock, knock’ with the usual response ‘Who’s there?’ Andy replied: ‘Terry Butcher’ – the legendary Rangers and England captain who was one of the players Aberdeen fans loved to hate. That was met with a chorus of boos and a few defiant cheers from the Rangers amongst our inmates.
The prisoners also didn’t get off lightly. Andy joked: ‘Nice woman the Queen. Have you ever met her?’ The obvious reply was: ‘No.’ ’Oh, you never go out then?’ He also likened Craiginches to a decent hotel.
He said, with more than a wry smile: ‘They’ve got it good. Three square meals a day and a roof under their feet.’ Andy also tailored his sets for specific audiences. He did his homework on Aberdeen and then let fly. Speaking about the Mastrick area of the city, he sniped: ‘It makes Easterhouse look like Beverly Hills.’
The stand-up had also been up to Peterhead and knew its rival town was Fraserburgh. ‘The Broch’ also came in for some close-to-the-bone stick. Cameron cheekily said: ‘They don’t have a village idiot up there. They just take a shot each.’ One of the biggest cheers came when Cameron slaughtered the waiting press photographers who were taking pictures of him and the prisoners for the following day’s newspaper.
He laughed: ‘You can break the ten Commandments quicker than you need to take a photograph.’ There was no doubt Cameron’s visit injected some much-needed humour into Craiginches. He certainly helped to lighten the mood on his visit.
Governor Leslie McBain admitted: ‘Having a personality like Andy Cameron coming here means a great deal to the men.’The final words, however, end with Andy himself, when he stated: ‘What I get out of it is seeing the guys’ eyes light up with a little bit of hope when you make them laugh.’
21
The Whistleblowers
When you speak to football fans from most clubs or leagues in the world, they will tell you that the performances of referees and their assistants at times can be criminal. I can personally vouch for that. Not as a frustrated Aberdeen fan but as a former referee. You are the man in the middle and at times you can also be the centre of attention. You might want to go through the game unnoticed but there are times when that is never going to happen, especially with at least twenty-two highly charged players going head-to-head before you even throw in managers or the coaches. You are never going to leave everyone happy at the end of a game.
It can be a thankless job at times but I got a lot of enjoyment from my refereeing career. I officiated a lot of games in the juvenile, amateur and school leagues in and around Aberdeen. I was a linesman, or an assistant referee as it is called today, in the Highland League.
I remember one game in particular at Kynoch Park many years ago. I can’t remember who Keith were playing but the visitors were needing every point they could get to keep them top of the league. The referee was from Aberdeen and the other linesma
n was a minister from the Huntly area, I can’t remember his name. The game ended in a draw and they were needing the win to remain top. Afterwards there was a lot of criticism being made towards the match officials but we just headed to our dressing room and closed the door. However, the shouting still went on and we could hear it even with the door closed. Then they started kicking the door until someone actually put his foot through one of the panels of the door. He had some job getting his foot back out but when he did he soon took off and we heard no more. The damage to the dressing room door was reported to the Keith officials and we went on our way home.
I made a lot of friends through refereeing, from managers to players, but especially amongst my fellow men in black.
We all used to train together every week in the car park at Pittodrie. That, as I said earlier, was the reason I got to know Teddy Scott and managed to strike up such strong links with Aberdeen Football Club through the years.
One of the main people on the Aberdeen refereeing circuit was Sandy Roy. I got to know Sandy really well. He was a top referee who officiated at the very highest level in Scottish football. He made a real name for himself and is still highly respected in the game. Sandy has done a power of work for refereeing in Scotland and especially in the North-east. Even since he hung up his whistle he has continued to dedicate himself to refereeing. He was the Scottish Football Association’s manager for Aberdeen referees and today he can still be seen in the stands at Premiership games as a refereeing supervisor, marking today’s officials and giving feedback to their Hampden boss.
I knew how popular football was within the walls of HMP Aberdeen. There was always football in the prison on a Wednesday night and on Saturday afternoon in the exercise yard. It was very competitive. It could be anything from six-a-side to eight-a-side. Everybody took the game seriously. Sometimes the games would be physical and not for the faint-hearted because everybody wanted to win, and it also gave the prisoners the bragging rights and the upper hand in the banter stakes in the run-up to the next game.
We had a sports day every year and at the end of it we always had a football match. It normally ended up Aberdeen versus Glasgow. So it would be the prisoners from the North and North-east against a team of prisoners who were from the Central Belt but were serving time at Craiginches. That always added a bit of spice to those matches.
Radios were also on, especially on a Saturday afternoon, as the football-loving prisoners waited to hear how their team were getting on. It was quite funny, especially when there were times when maybe their hall had been locked up for the night. All you could hear was the commentary from the radio and suddenly there would be a massive roar and that was normally when Aberdeen had scored. You also had it when Rangers or Celtic scored against the Dons and the banter started to fly! We knew how much the football meant to the prisoners and the threat to stop their matches or to ban their radios was enough to keep most of them in line.
The visits from the managers and players at Aberdeen were extremely popular so I thought if we could get some of the referees involved it would put a new twist on things.
The prisoners might have been shown the red card from the judicial system but I thought this would give them a different viewpoint on the game. I decided to sound some of them out to see if it would be worth putting a night like that in place and of course the resounding response was yes. I then went to Sandy and he agreed to come up and put a visit together for us. I thought he was a brave man coming to talk to a roomful of prisoners but then again after refereeing in front of 50,000 at Parkhead or 45,000 at Ibrox I suppose everything else, including a visit to Craiginches, would be a walk in the park.
Sandy put on a really good show. He had to put up with a lot of good-humoured banter and by the time he had finished he had been everything from a Celtic and Rangers fan to just about every other club in the senior Scottish leagues.
Despite all that, Sandy was pleased with how things went and it led to another visit. This time, we managed to get another of Aberdeen’s top referees, Billy Reid. I also had the added luxury that I knew Billy because I had actually worked with him in the machine shop at Barry Henry Cook.
Billy came along to the prison with the legendary Aberdeen goalkeeper Bobby Clark. He gave a talk about his refereeing career and there was a fair bit of banter, with Billy giving a referee’s perspective and Bobby giving his view as a player. It was quite funny and a decent insight into the game from both sides. As most football fans will know, it is very rare that the teams, managers and their fans will see things the same way as the officials. More often than not, refereeing decisions cause a lot of headlines and controversy in the game. As a former referee, I have every sympathy with our officials. I also know that officials can become an easy target for players and managers to deflect their own deficiencies. They also know that referees and their assistants can’t say anything back.
Billy and Bobby both went down well on their visit. Everybody agreed that it had been a good night and we thought it would be good to arrange a few more similar events, going forward. The foundations were in place and the goodwill was there on both sides, but when I got back to work I realised that the prisoners might want to take things a step further.
A couple of them came up to me and said they would be really interested in taking a referee’s course. I knew it would be no use to them when they were serving time but I agreed it would still be a good thing to do. A good skill to have and something they could use after their release. So I spoke to a few others and word started to spread like wildfire. It was clear there was a real interest so I went to Sandy Roy to see if there was anything we could put together.
Sandy was brand new but, to his credit, thought it was a great idea. I went back and spoke to the inmates and we managed to get a course put together. I think the Scottish Football Association also saw this as a good tool because it had been the first of their courses that had been run from behind bars. The problem was that we needed to limit the number of prisoners on the course so we agreed to cap it at six. That was more manageable and meant we didn’t need to draft additional staff in for the classes. So we kept the prisoners who had put their names forward informed of what was happening, they did the course and they all enjoyed it.
Sandy came along once a week and put them through their paces. It was exactly the same course that the SFA put in place for everyone who wanted to go into refereeing. It was basically the laws of the game and how you should referee a game. They were put into various workshops and scenarios before they all had to do their referee’s exam at the end of it. The prisoners passed them with flying colours. They even made the local press and our newest recruits showed off their newly inherited red cards through the gates at Sandy.
I know Sandy really enjoyed putting the course on and was pleased with the overwhelming response he got from the prisoners. I am not sure if any of the prisoners did put their newly learned skills into operation but at least when they left Her Majesty’s and went back into society, they had another string to add to their bows.
Who Said Crime Doesn't Pay?
22
Outpost for the Outlaws
Burn O’Vat is a popular nature reserve in the north-east of Scotland. Officially it is called the Muir of Dinnet National Nature Reserve, although it is better known locally as Burn O’Vat. It is something of a natural phenomenon, as it dates back more than 15,000 years ago to the Ice Age.
Lochs Davan and Kinord meet there and it is also home to hundreds of rare species of birds, insects and animals but the true centrepiece of the site is the ‘Vat’. It basically looks like a giant pothole but has far more significance, as it was formed due to the glacial meltwaters. The disappearing glaciers left a catalogue of remains, meltwater channels and kettle hole depressions that have turned Burn O’Vat into such a natural treasure chest.
The Vat also has history of its own. It is claimed that the sixteenth-century Scottish outlaw Patrick McGregor, or Gilderoy, as he was also often referr
ed to in Scottish literature, used to hide out at the Vat. McGregor was a less glamourised version of his namesake, although no relation, Rob Roy McGregor.
He led a band of limmers (or robbers) who ravaged the lands of Aberdeenshire, Cromarty, Braemar and Strathspey. It is claimed McGregor went on the run after he killed his own mother and turned to a life of brutal crime, robbing and stealing whatever he could. A price was quickly put on his head and he soon became a man in demand, forcing him and his brutal gang to operate from the criminal shadows, as they stole everything from livestock to more valuable commodities like money and jewels.
The Vat was a hiding hole for McGregor as he tried to escape from angry pursuers or the authorities. There is a shallow impression behind the main waterfall of the Vat which he used as his cover and is now known as Gilderoy’s Cave.
So you might ask, what has all this got to do with Her Majesty’s Prison Aberdeen? Well, Burn O’Vat actually helped to put Craiginches and some of our prisoners into the headlines for all the right reasons! Like McGregor all those hundreds of years before, they had broken the law and fallen foul of the authorities – but our prisoners used Burn O’Vat to give something back to the local and surrounding community.
It all came about thanks to a chance meeting. My wife, Hazel, loves it up at Burn O’Vat. We quite often go up there for a day out or a run in the car. It was on one of those visits that I bumped into a man called Ian Watt, who worked at the nature reserve. He now stays on the other side of the world, in Moonta in south-west Australia, and we still keep in touch to this day.
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