by Jessica Hart
Sophie’s hands stilled at the note in his voice, and she looked over her shoulder to meet his blue, blue eyes. ‘It made a difference to know that you would be here, waiting for me,’ he said.
His words set a warmth uncoiling deep inside her, spreading outwards until she was flooded with it. Unable to tear her gaze away, Sophie could only look back at him and feel the heat tingling under her skin. ‘I’m glad I was here, too,’ she said.
The tension that had been so much part of the atmosphere for the last few weeks was melting like the last few snowflakes on Bess’s coat. Sophie let out a long breath, one that she hadn’t been aware that she was holding. Thank goodness, she thought. Now we’ll be able to talk.
It was at that moment that the phone rang, its insistent buzzing startling them both. ‘If this is my mother about flower arrangements…!’ said Sophie vengefully as she went to pick it up.
But it wasn’t her mother. It was Melissa, sounding on the verge of hysteria. ‘Nick’s missing,’ she burst out, before Sophie had finished saying hello. ‘He set off to walk on the moors this afternoon, and he said he’d be back before dark.’
‘He went for a walk?’ said Sophie incredulously. Outside the wind was howling over the moors, smashing snow against the window. ‘In this?’
‘He wanted to test out some new cold weather trousers that we’re stocking,’ said Melissa. ‘He said he was just going to walk up Pike Fell, then over the moor to you, and back down the road. It’s a perfectly straightforward route.’
‘Not in a blizzard,’ said Sophie.
‘He’s well prepared,’ Melissa said defensively. ‘He knows what he’s doing. He’s not a fool.’
Sophie didn’t bother to answer that. ‘Have you called Mountain Rescue?’
‘No! Nick would kill me. Think what it would do to his reputation!’
‘Melissa, he might be hurt. We’ve got to find him!’
‘He won’t have wandered off the route,’ said Melissa stubbornly. ‘We don’t need to call in anyone else. Dad’s just got back from checking this side of the fell. If you could just ask Bram to walk your bit of the moors, I’m sure he’d find him. He might just have slipped and not be able to walk very fast.’
Or he might be unconscious, or lost and disorientated in the blizzard. Sophie looked helplessly at Bram. He was exhausted. The last thing he needed was to set off into the snow again—but what choice did they have? It was too cold to risk Nick spending the night in the open.
Bram had been listening to Sophie’s half of the conversation, and from her expression it wasn’t hard to put together what had happened. Getting up, he took the phone from Sophie.
‘Melissa, tell me when Nick set off…where was he heading?’ He listened briefly. ‘OK, now call Mountain Rescue and tell them what you told me. If you don’t, I will. Tell them I’m setting off towards Pike Fell. I’ll take one possible route up to the top, and another down, and I’ll check in when I get back.’ His voice softened. ‘Don’t worry, Mel. I’ll find him for you.’
Sophie’s face was white, and Bram read her fear for Nick in her eyes as he put down the phone. He took hold of her shoulders. ‘I won’t bother telling you not to worry, but there’s no need to panic. Melissa says that Nick’s got all the right equipment with him.’
Sophie was more afraid for him than for Nick right then, but she knew there was no point in trying to stop him going. ‘I’m going to put on some warmer clothes,’ she said.
Bram frowned. ‘You don’t need to come.’
‘I do,’ said Sophie. ‘I’m not having two of you out there on your own. You’re already tired. That’s when accidents happen. You know it makes sense for there to be two of us. And I want to do what I can too.’
She was half afraid that he would have set out without her by the time she came down, pulling a second jumper over her head, but he had found some dry clothes to change into and was testing two flashlights. He gave one to Sophie when she had struggled into an oilskin coat and trousers and was bundled up in hat and scarf and gloves so that only her eyes were visible. Then he slung a rucksack with emergency supplies and a first aid kit over his shoulder.
‘Stay together for now,’ he shouted in her ear as they set off, Bess at his heel as usual.
Sophie nodded, unable to speak. The wind snatched her breath away and the snow hurled itself at her, no longer the soft, beautifully drifting flakes she had admired earlier, but driving, icy needles that stung her from every direction. Keeping her head down, she trudged after Bram.
The snow was already drifting where there was the slightest resistance against the wind, and when they reached the gate leading into the first field it was already difficult to push it open. Yelling into her ear over the scream of the wind, Bram told her to work her way round the edge of the field. ‘Stick to the wall the whole way,’ he shouted. ‘Even if it’s harder walking. If you lose it, you’ll get disorientated. We’ll meet up at the next gate.’
Sophie struggled up through the snowy heather, swinging her torch from side to side and shouting Nick’s name—although it was impossible that anyone could hear anything through the howling wind and the blinding snow. How would they ever be able to find him in this?
It had been OK with Bram’s solid figure just in front of her, but now she began to feel frightened. The wind was just too strong, the snow too driving. Her face and her hands were numb with cold and the lack of visibility was disorientating. She couldn’t tell where she was, or how far she had to go.
The wall seemed endless, but at last it turned and led her towards the gate, where the glimpse of Bram’s flashlight was the best thing Sophie had ever seen. He loomed suddenly out of the swirling snow, and they both shook their heads.
They set off separately again. Sophie walked bent forwards against the wind, which bullied and pushed her around mercilessly, driving snow into her numb face. Sometimes she fell over a clump of heather and it was hard to get upright again. Stick to the wall, stick to the wall, she chanted inside her head. It would be too easy to lose it in these conditions. She moved close enough to be able to touch the stones for reassurance if she needed to, and that was how she came across the steps, which were little more than flat stones built into the wall so that walkers could climb over easily.
Sophie knocked her knee against one and fell over. She was struggling to her feet once more when she remembered that they led to a gully which offered a shortcut back down to the road. It meant a bit of a scramble over the rocks, but in summer it saved a couple of miles’ hard walking across the heather. In winter, though, and in these conditions, it would be a treacherous route.
Surely Nick wouldn’t have gone that way today?
Sophie hesitated about leaving the safety of the wall, but the impulse to check was so strong that eventually she climbed over the wall and promptly plunged into a deep drift the other side. Sodden and shivering, she struggled to the edge of the gully, which was so well disguised in the snow that she nearly fell over it herself.
Flashing her torch, she saw a faint answering flash from the bottom. Should she go and find Bram? Or get down to look for Nick? Trusting that when she didn’t turn up at the gate Bram would come and find her, Sophie floundered back to the steps and somehow managed to wedge her scarf under a rock, where it flapped frantically. Surely Bram would see it and realise where she had gone?
Very carefully, she picked her way down to bottom of the gully. There she found Nick, enveloped in an orange survival bag and already half covered by insulating snow. ‘I fell,’ he managed to tell her through lips that were stiff with cold. ‘I’ve done something to my knee. I couldn’t get back up the slope, so I thought I should insulate myself as far as I could and wait for daylight. I’ve got emergency supplies,’ he explained, seeing Sophie’s face. ‘I know how to survive. I’d have been fine.’
But what about her and Bram, struggling through a night like this in search of him? After the first rush of relief at finding him alive, Sophie was furious with him. ‘I’ll go b
ack and see if I can find Bram,’ she said. ‘At least we know where you are now.’
She had just made it up to the top of the gully once more when a black shape almost knocked her over. It was Bess, barking to alert Bram, who appeared seconds later. Sophie sagged with relief at the sight of him, but it was Bram’s turn to be furious. He grabbed her by the shoulders and brought his face close to hers so that he could shout at her.
‘What the hell do you think you’re doing? I told you to stick to the wall!’
‘Nick…’ was all Sophie could stutter, so cold and so tired that she could hardly speak at all. ‘He’s in the gully!’
Bram swore. ‘I don’t care where he is! You shouldn’t have left the wall. You’re a bloody fool! You could have fallen and hurt yourself, and then how would I have found you?’
‘I left you my scarf as a sign by the steps. You must have seen it.’
‘There’s no scarf now. I only came this way because Bess was insistent. She kept barking and jumping onto the wall.’
‘Oh, Bess!’ Close to tears, Sophie bent to pat her shakily. ‘You’re a rescue dog.’
Bram was struggling to contain his fury, which had been fuelled by the cold fear of Sophie lost and alone in the blizzard. ‘We’d better get down to Nick,’ he said after a moment, deciding not to give her any more grief until they were both warm and dry again. ‘Show me where he is.’
Afterwards, Sophie couldn’t remember how they got Nick back to the farmhouse. There was just the numbness in her hands and her feet, the freezing snow, and the relentless, horrifying scream of the wind as they battled over the heather, supporting Nick between them. Without her scarf, there was nothing to protect her neck from the onslaught of snow. It drove into the slightest gap, numbing her skin and trickling inside her jacket, seeping through her jumpers until she was chilled to the bone. The only thing that kept her going was Bram, walking steadily onwards, bearing most of Nick’s weight, constantly encouraging them both and refusing to let them give up and sink down into the snow to rest.
‘Not much further,’ he kept saying. ‘You can do it.’
Sophie felt as if she were trapped in some terrible nightmare, but Bram was right. They did do it, and at last the lights of Haw Gill glowed through the blur of snow. Inside, Bram took charge. He let Nick and Sophie sit, dull with exhaustion, in front of the fire, while he rang Melissa and called off the search.
‘The road’s blocked,’ he said when he’d put the phone down. ‘It looks as if you’ll be staying here a couple of days, Nick. I don’t think there’s much that can be done about your knee anyway, other than to rest it.’
Nick’s bravado had deserted him after that terrible journey back to the house, and he was too tired to object when Bram helped him upstairs and made him take off his wet clothes.
‘Put him in my bed,’ said Sophie, forcing herself to her feet. ‘It’s warmer in there. I’ll bring up a hot water bottle.’
‘Take off your own clothes first,’ said Bram roughly, concerned at the flat marks of exhaustion on her face.
‘Why, Bram,’ she said, trying to lighten the atmosphere with a joke, ‘is this any time for you to be making a suggestion like that? I’ve got to say that your seduction technique needs work!’
A tired smile flickered over his face as he hauled Nick up from his chair. ‘I’ll have to try harder,’ he agreed, and as their eyes met over Nick’s slumped head there was a moment, just a moment, when Sophie could have sworn that there was a sizzle in the air.
The thought of it kept her warm as, shivering, she stripped off her sodden clothes and clambered into blissfully dry pyjamas, and it made her pause as she belted one of Molly’s old dressing gowns around her. She had never cared what she looked like before, but now, for the first time, she wondered what it would be like to go down to meet Bram in a seductive nightdress, to wrap herself in silk that would slither off her shoulders at the slightest touch of his hands…
The image stayed with her as they shared a pot of hot, sweet tea and made a fuss of Bess, whose heroism had already been amply rewarded to her dog’s mind by her being fed and allowed a place in front of the fire. Exhausted by her endeavours, she lay snoring and twitching slightly, utterly oblivious to Sophie’s simmering awareness of Bram.
Bram seemed oblivious too. He looked very tired, and they didn’t talk much, but he made Sophie eat something, and she put the persistent shivery feeling under her skin down to exhaustion, cold, and emotional overload.
‘Come on,’ said Bram, seeing her yawn. ‘It’s time you were in bed.’
‘I think I’m too tired to move,’ Sophie confessed.
‘I’ll help you.’ Reaching down a hand, he lifted her to her feet and kept hold of her as they climbed the stairs together, his grip warm and strong and indescribably comforting.
Halfway up, Sophie remembered that Nick was sound asleep in her bed. ‘I’d better make up a bed,’ she said wearily, but she was swaying with tiredness and Bram simply steered her into his room.
‘Neither of us is in any state to start fussing about sheets,’ he said. ‘Why don’t you sleep with me tonight? I promise you I’m too tired to take advantage of you,’ he added, with a ghost of a smile.
‘I’m too tired to notice if you did,’ said Sophie frankly, glad that he had taken the decision out of her hands. She was certainly too tired to feel anything except relief as she tumbled into bed beside Bram. ‘God, what a day!’
The sheets were cold, and she shivered and kicked her feet to warm them. ‘I should have got us a hot water bottle.’
‘Come here,’ said Bram, lifting his arm, and after a moment she snuggled into his body, feeling his arm close around her. It should have been awkward to be lying so intimately together, but the warmth of his body was incredibly reassuring. With a sigh of comfort, Sophie rested her own arm across his, feeling the slow, steady rise and fall of his chest, and fell at once into a deep and fathomless sleep.
Bram woke early, as usual. Sophie was sleeping softly against him, and he lay for a while, treasuring the feel of her warm, relaxed body so close to his. The wind had dropped some time in the night, but the muffled quality to the light when it eventually seeped through the curtains told him that the snow was very deep.
‘Talk about deep and crisp and even,’ said Sophie later, when they went out to find a Christmas tree as promised.
Bram had been out feeding the stock when she woke up, and she had made herself some tea before taking a mug to Nick. To her dismay, he had been far from embarrassed about the trouble he had caused, and looked on the previous day’s events as further proof of his ability to survive in dangerous conditions.
‘Of course most people would have just given up if they’d found themselves in my position,’ he had said complacently. ‘But I knew exactly what I needed to do.’
Most people would have known better than to set off at all, Sophie had thought, but she’d kept her thoughts to herself. She’d left him phoning Melissa, and been glad to escape with Bram in search of a tree.
‘Anything’s better than paperwork,’ Bram had said when he’d come back, and had suggested an expedition to the wood that lay in a fold of the hill behind the farmhouse.
They had played there as children, and it had always seemed a magical place to Sophie. Today, with the snow blanketing everything in dazzling white, it was more beautiful than ever. It was very still, and there were only occasional traces of little creatures who had scurried over the snow. In the trees, the birds huddled together and fluffed up their feathers for warmth, watching as Sophie and Bram searched for a suitable tree, their voices ringing in the silence.
At last they found a pine that had put itself in amongst the native trees. It was about six foot high, and a little lopsided, but Sophie voted it perfect.
‘If this is the one you want…’ Bram began chopping.
Sophie watched his shoulders swinging the axe in a steady movement. She was glad that he hadn’t brought the chainsaw, whose whine
would have spoilt the still magic of the day. Instead, there was just the slow thud of metal against wood, the sound of her own breathing, and Bram’s intent face.
And the sudden, overwhelming realisation that she was in love with him.
How could she not have known it before? Sophie wondered. Of course she had always loved Bram—but not like this; not with this heart-wrenching, aching certainty. She had loved him as a friend for so long that she hadn’t noticed when affection had become desire, when liking had tipped into need.
This wasn’t the desperate, dramatic love she had felt for Nick. In the very fibre of her being Sophie knew that her love for Bram was deeper, truer, stronger than that. Loving Nick had been a firework that had exploded in her world in dazzling colours, only to fizzle out without trace. She had clung to the memory of how spectacular it had been, but the love itself had gone. Loving Bram was a flame that had glowed steadily deep inside her, growing so slowly that she hadn’t even noticed until it burned in every part of her, in every sense and every cell.
It seemed to Sophie that the whole day was suffused with joy as they dragged the tree back over the snow, Bess snuffling happily ahead of them. She wanted to shout it out loud, to spin and stretch out her arms in delight, but memory stopped her—the memory of doing precisely that in front of Bram. She had told him then how much she loved Nick. How feeble would it sound to say now that she had changed her mind?
She had no reason to suppose that Bram had changed his mind, Sophie reminded herself. An effusive announcement of how much she loved him after all might simply make him feel awkward if he couldn’t return her feelings. But they were going to be married. She felt the engagement ring on her finger and clung to the thought. There would be time to tell him that she loved him.
Time and opportunity. I’ll wait until you’re ready, he had said, when they had talked about sleeping together. All you’ve got to do is say. Surely in the dark, with their arms around each other, their bodies close together, she could tell him the truth?
All she had to do was say. Sophie looked at Bram, outlined in dazzling clarity against the snow, and thrilled at the thought…But how could she when Nick would be there the whole time?