by Lena North
“Um,” I mumbled inanely, again, thinking that I really needed to work on my vocabulary.
I also figured some back-tracking was due, and that insulting everyone around me probably wasn’t the best entrance into this family.
“I’m sorry I called you a big bunny, Uncle Hare,” I said resolutely. “You started it, but I still shouldn’t have said that.”
I looked around to find my other uncle, and murmured under my breath, “I should probably tell Uncle Magnus that I’m sure his balls are quite adequate. After all, he has two kids –”
Loud laughter startled me out of my musings, and I looked around.
“Christ, Wilder, don’t go talking to Mag about his genitals. He’ll never recover from the shock,” Hare said with a grin. He had lost the scowl and seemed mostly embarrassed instead. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable before. It’s an old joke, the thing with my name. It isn’t Harold with an a and an o, it’s Harald with two a’s.”
“Okay,” I said, thinking that this wasn’t all that funny.
“Yeah, I know,” said, reading my mind. “Not so funny, huh?”
“Uncle Bunny, that was funny, though,” the younger man said, and the third man started laughing.
“Hell yeah,” he rumbled, stretched out a hand to shake mine. “I’m Miller.” Then he grinned widely, and added, “I was out of town when you got away from that avalanche, or else I’d helped bring you down. I out-ski both your father and uncle, so if you want a guide on the mountain then let me know.”
I heard Hawker snort something that sounded suspiciously like “in your dreams,” but my uncle Hare just laughed.
“I’ll let you know, although I’ll need a while to get out of my emerald glory,” I said and clanked the cane against the cast. Then I turned to the younger version of Miller who was patiently waiting for his turn to greet me.
“Kit,” he said, stretched his hand out to grab mine,
“Brother?” I asked and tilted my head toward the older version of Kit.
“Brother?” Miller said with a wide grin. “Oh, I’m gonna like you, Wilder.”
Kit chuckled and said, “Uncle.”
I was glad that I finally had managed not to insult someone, though also a bit surprised because Miller had partially gray hair, but he didn’t look old enough to be the uncle of a man Kit’s age.
“Mill is almost ten years younger than my da,” Kit explained.
“Da?” I asked.
It was a word that I wasn’t accustomed to, though I knew it had been used in the mountains in the past. In Prosper, we said “Father” or more affectionately, “Dad.”
“Yeah, archaic, isn’t it? We still use it a lot up here in the mountains.” He grinned at me and didn’t let go of my hand. “Welcome home, Wilder,” he added.
I wasn’t entirely comfortable with his greeting, but he looked like a nice guy, and I figured that I’d insulted enough people already, so I just smiled back at him and pulled my hand slowly away from his.
“You thought Mackenzie was gay,” a voice said.
I turned, and there she was again, my young cousin. My eyebrows went up in surprise from this unexpected comment, and the fact that she had heard about my meeting with the beautiful man.
“Not really, no,” I said slowly. “I gave him a tiny set back because he seemed in need of one, though.”
She grinned and when she did her nose scrunched up a little in a way I recognized.
“He was p –” she grinned again when my eyebrows went up and corrected herself, “super angry. He didn’t want to look at your foot, but there wasn’t a doctor around, so he had to.”
“What do you mean, no doctor?” I asked, thinking that I must have misunderstood.
“I guess he is a doctor, in a way…” she said, but she sounded uncertain, and I just stared at her wondering what she was talking about. I had a cast on my foot, didn’t I?
“Althea,” Hawker rumbled warningly.
I frowned at him and turned to my cousin.
“In a way?” I asked.
“They didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
She had started to squirm, and her eyes darted to Hawker.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, and then without warning, she took off. I reached for her but she was quick, and I only felt the soft fabric in her plaid shirt whisk through my fingers.
Then I turned toward the men. Their faces were completely blank, showing absolutely nothing, but as I glared at them, I saw a flicker of humor in Kit’s. I held his gaze a long time, and then I slowly inched up my right eyebrow in a silent question. He sighed.
“Hawker?” he said.
My father grunted, which apparently was some sort of approval because Kit sighed again and started talking.
“Yeah, so, Wilder. Our doctor was away for the day, you know?”
I had been told as much, so I nodded.
“I guess we freaked out a little, and, well…” he trailed off.
I couldn’t tell if he was uncomfortable or if he was about to burst out in laughter.
“What?” I snapped.
“Doc looked at the x-rays when he got back,” Hare suddenly said.
I looked at him.
“This Mackenzie. Is he not a doctor?” I asked slowly.
Hawker had apparently had enough by then and told me straight out what I’d begun to suspect.
“He is a doctor, Wilder, and a good one. For animals, though. He’s our veterinarian.”
Chapter Six
Being alone is not the same as being lonely
“The Vet?” I whispered.
Hawker nodded.
“The Vet,” I repeated, slightly louder this time.
Hawker nodded again. A muscle moved in his jaw, but I couldn’t tell if it was because he tried to hold back laughter or if he was angry for reasons completely unknown to me.
“I really need a beer,” I said.
Miller made a strange grunting sound, but apart from that, the men remained silent, and none of them moved. I supposed that they expected me to explode, but really? A bone was a bone, wasn’t it? We also had a Vet on retainer for the animals at Double H, and I had the highest respect for her skills.
“I’ll get you one,” Hawker said.
“Hawker,” I called out as he started to move. “Strictly speaking, it isn’t legal to give me one.”
I figured I’d point this fact out before slugging down the beer. That way he couldn’t say anything about it later. When he barked out startled laughter, I realized how stupid I’d been.
“I was there, Wilder. Know your age down to the exact second of the actual conception,” he said.
Ewe. I did not need to hear that.
“Wow,” I said, with emphasis. “I’m not sure why you felt compelled to share that lovely piece of information. Didn’t know if you were up to date on current legislation, that’s all.”
Judging from the reactions I got, this was apparently a hilarious comment. Hawker just looked at me with a strange smile playing at his lips. He had his hands on his hips, and after a while, he used one of them to push the edge of his untucked shirt to the side. There was a leather clip hanging in his belt, and on it sat a shiny police badge.
“Yeah, Wilder. I’m up to date,” he said.
“You’re a cop?” I asked, and I knew I sounded shocked because that’s what I was.
Never in a million years would I have guessed that being a police officer was my father’s chosen profession.
“Sheriff,” he replied calmly.
“Sheriff,” I echoed.
“Yeah,” he said and walked away to get me my beer.
I stared after him, not knowing why I was so surprised. The man was clearly a leader. It was just that I’d thought he was the leader of the local motorcycle club or something like that.
When he got back with the beer, we sat down on couches
and chairs, eating and talking. I mostly listened, and watched, and so did Hawker. Another trait we had in common, I concluded. The mood was great, mainly because Hare was hilarious, and Miller kept egging him on with a dry sense of humor. Kit clearly thought the sun rose and set with Hawker, and if he could have sat on the floor at Hawker’s feet – he would have. I couldn’t get a good grip on Magnus, though. He laughed when everyone else laughed, agreed with all opinions, even when they were clearly conflicting which I thought was impressive because he managed to make it seem genuine. His eyes didn’t meet mine, and I knew that I had to speak to him at some point about my joke.
Gilmore didn’t really say anything, and each time I looked at him, his eyes were on me. This unwavering stare was a bit unnerving, to say the least, and after a while, I’d had enough. I pulled in a breath, ready to snap at him when I suddenly remembered how Hawker had asked me if I could cut the old man some slack. I figured that this was doable, at least a little while longer, and leaned back into the couch.
“Thanks, Wilder,” Hawker murmured.
He was sitting next to me, and I suddenly realized that except for when he got me my first and second beer, he’d not been two steps away from me since we entered the house. I turned to him and with a smile I raised my bottle in a silent toast. He did the same and was about to drink when we heard the doors open and quick steps moving toward the great room.
“Wilder!”
It was Mickey, and his parents entered the room just behind him. Seeing them made my heart soar, and I realized that even though I was having a surprisingly good time, I’d also been slightly on edge the whole evening. Maybe even since I first laid eyes on my father. It felt so good to see the three of them, standing there in the doorway. This was my family, my real family, here to back me up.
The others started toward the entrance, and I reached for my cane when I caught movement at the corner of my eye.
“Rider!” Althea shouted with glee and ran through the room.
The men around me continued moving toward the entrance, but I watched in shock how Uncle Andy bent slightly and braced for the impact of the girl. He pulled her into his arms and swung her around, grinning hugely.
“Hey there, Allie girl,” he said as he set her to her feet.
As I watched, Aunt Gwen put an arm around the girl’s shoulders and smiled down at her. My gut started to hurt again.
Then the men got to them, and greetings were exchanged, with Uncle Andy in the way of manly men with back pounding and a few curse words. Aunt Gwen got affectionate hugs and kisses on her cheeks. I had a hard time breathing as I watched the group in front of me. They were friends, and they’d met often. I could see this because they didn’t act like acquaintances, they acted like family. And I wasn’t included.
My eyes went to Mickey, but he had his back mostly toward me, watching the scene in front of us. I wished he’d turn around so I could see his face. The thought that he’d also been to Norton and knew about all of this hurt so bad I suddenly wanted to scream.
As I slowly approached the group, Hawker and Uncle Andy stopped in front of each other. They were both smiling, and through the noise and movement, it seemed like they were all alone. Then they hugged, and not in the manly bumping chests and hitting each other as hard as possible on the back way. It was a hug between brothers.
“Finally,” I heard Uncle Andy murmur.
There was that word again, and it grated on my nerves. What did they mean?
“Yeah,” Hawker sighed and started to step out of the embrace.
“I’m so happy for you,” Uncle Andy said with a huge smile.
That’s when my head exploded. Strangely enough, the only sound a head makes when it shatters into a million pieces is just a soft gasp. It was enough for the men to hear, though, and they turned to me.
“Fuck,” Uncle Andy murmured when he saw my face.
“Yeah,” I snarled sarcastically. “Finally, the old man died. Glad you’re all happy about it, though,” I said hoarsely.
When both men took a step toward me, I raised the hand I didn’t use to hold my cane.
“No,” I growled.
Then I pulled in a deep breath, reached for the last pieces of my dignity, and turned to Mickey. He looked at me then, and to my relief, he looked as shocked as I felt.
“Did you know?” I asked.
“How can you even ask that?” he replied.
“Look around Mickey,” I murmured. “Two weeks ago, I thought that family was my crappy parents, Gramps, your parents – and you. Gramps is gone, Mother is gone, Paolo turned out to be an asshat. And right now, it turns out that the only family I had left, the one I thought I could count on to keep me safe, has lied to me my whole life.”
I swallowed and whispered.
“So yeah, I have to ask, Mickey. Did. You. Know?
“No, Wilder, I didn’t fucking know,” he snarled.
“Okay,” I exhaled. “Do me a favor, buddy. Keep them away from me, yeah?”
I didn’t wait for him to reply and turned to the now silent group. Then I pasted a wide, polite smile on my face, and hobbled toward Mickey’s parents, which was also the direction of the door leading out of the room. I had to get out of there before I started screaming or crying. Or both.
“Andrew, Gwendolyn,” I said sweetly. “I’m so happy you’re here. I hope you didn’t drive all the way up here on my account?”
I didn’t give them any chance to respond as I kept moving through the group, but I heard Hawker grunt something that sounded like a curse.
“Though, I’m sure you didn’t,” I exclaimed. “You’re here to see your friends, of course.”
“Wilder –” Aunt Gwen started, but I cut her off, turning my head around the room, including them all in my next words but not looking at any of them.
“Well, it was so good to see you all,” I said happily. “I’ll be leaving now, but it was great meeting everyone. We must do it again sometime?”
Like, never.
Then I walked out of the room with as much dignity as a girl can muster when she’s wearing an emerald green cast and her world just shifted on its axis.
Outside, the air was cool, and I quickly shuffled into my jacket. It was Willy’s, and it was a couple of sizes too big but it was warm, and I’d decided to keep it. A few men were standing there, and the way they were spread out in a half circle in front of the house made me think that they looked like guards, but why we’d need that I didn’t know so maybe they weren’t.
I also realized that it would have to be a long walk back to my house since I had no means of transportation, but whatever. I wasn’t going inside again to ask for help.
One of the men stepped out of the shadows as I slowly made my way around Hawker’s bike.
“Wilder,” he said quietly.
I looked into a pair of beautiful green eyes, and if I hadn’t been heartbroken, I would have smiled at the cautious look on his face.
“Ah, the Vet,” I said.
“I would have told them to move you to Treville or Twin City if you’d been seriously hurt Wilder,” he replied. “You weren’t, so I dealt with it, yeah?”
“Okay,” I said.
The ground was covered with snow, and they’d scraped some of it off the road which just meant that patches of ice had formed instead. I was afraid to fall so even though I kept moving, it wasn’t fast.
“Your name is Mackenzie?”
“Yeah. Everyone calls me Mac, though.”
“Okay,” I said again.
“Look…” he started hesitantly, and I stopped. “Hawker won’t let you walk all the way back. No way.”
“I –”
“He won’t, Wilder.”
“But –”
“I’ll take you,” he murmured and added. “Just let me go inside and tell them?”
“What?”
“I know you hurt right now. Anyone can see that on your face, a
nd we all heard what went on inside so I get why you do. And Hawker can be a huge idiot sometimes, but he’s a good man. He won’t let his girl hobble through the snow,” he said. His eyes locked on something behind me, but then he continued, “So he’ll force you into one of the cars, and he’ll try to explain what he can’t, and that’ll just make the rift bigger. I’ll bring you home, so you can all calm down before you say shit to each other that you can’t take back.”
I looked at him, but he kept his eyes locked over my shoulder so I turned around slowly, fairly certain of what I’d see.
As I expected, Hawker stood on the front porch, flanked by Mickey and Uncle Andy.
“Give me an hour Mickey?” I asked softly, thinking that I needed the time alone to sort my head out and calm down.
“Sure,” he muttered. “I really need some time too, so I’ll go for a drive, will be with you later,” he added and glared at his father before stomping down the stairs. “Thanks, man,” he muttered to Mac, and then he got into his car.
I turned to the remaining two men on the porch.
“Do not come to the cabin. Don’t call me.” I inhaled, and then I added, “Fuck. You.”
“Wilder…” Hawker started, and I pulled in a breath to scream at him.
They had lied to me my whole life. It had been shitty growing up with my so called parents and the man in front of me could have done something about that. But worse, the other man on the porch, someone I’d trusted my whole life, had lied to me. I’d thought that I had a family with Andy and Gwen at Double H, and had started to hope that I’d get another one in the mountains with my relatives there. And both families had lied to me my whole life.
“Right. This ends right now,” Mac said firmly.
Then he bent slightly and picked me off the ground as if I weighed nothing at all. He put me in a huge black car and walked quickly around the hood. Neither the look he exchanged with Hawker, nor the nod Hawker gave him, escaped me, but I was so grateful to get out of there I just bent my head and stared at my lap.
Mac was silent for the short ride to my cabin, and when we got there, he just got out, lifted me out of the car, carried me into the cabin, and placed me on a chair in the kitchen. Then he walked around swiftly, checking the two rooms, the bathroom and finally the windows. If I hadn’t known that he was the town’s veterinarian, I’d have thought he was a cop.