He had a makeshift knapsack on his shoulder when he encountered Georgiana. Yet enraged, he stared at the ground and barely grunted in acknowledgement as he passed her. She called after him. The meanness of his spirit did not harbour pleasantries, thus he probably just stopped by rote when she asked where he was going. He told her where, but not the whole truth as to why. She asked him to wait, for she intended to take leave of Pemberley as well and bid him to drive her gig.
Initially he was reluctant, but he reconsidered. It was a long walk unto Portsmouth. Other than learning of a common interest in passage to France, he queried not.
*
Once at Portsmouth, they needed the gig only for some hasty cash. Georgiana and John conferred about what would be a good price. Neither had a notion of the monetary value of the rig, John, because he never had as much as a sovereign in his life, and Georgiana, because she never had as little. When they settled for two tenners with a beefy man (wearing a waistcoat that announced what he had had for dinner), Georgiana thought it a fine trade.
John, however, observed dourly, “That codger’s too jolly with the price. If yer donno leave ’em screamin’ they’re robbed, it weren’t a good bargain.”
Separate rooms were found over an alehouse near the Portsmouth harbour. Georgiana turned up her nose at the stench; to John it was not a novelty. Indeed, the clinking of mugs below them was the lullaby of his youth. They stayed close that next day, having exacted a promise from each other to board a ship together (this was in defence of Georgiana’s sensibility, not John’s). As he waited for his company to depart, she waited as well. The ship would carry medical personnel and Georgiana knew that would be the only way to find passage.
When it finally came time for her to apply, she was nervous at the deception and nearly gave up on the scheme. Yet, she persevered. The captain looked at her keenly. Howbeit she steadfastly claimed to be a nurse and wife of an officer, he was hesitant. His qualms, however, were overcome. Whilst feigning ignorance of military custom, Georgiana offered to pay for her passage. With two five-pound notes proffered upon her outstretched palm, her inexperience and marital status were of little importance.
For a young woman believed to be an innocent, Georgiana was not naïve. Once underway, the headiness of freedom made everyone giddy, but Georgiana was one of the few too excited to be seasick. Aligning herself with a hearty girl in the hospital corps, they gaily strolled the deck arm in arm. John, however, glowered at her oceanic savoir-faire from atop a pile of rigging. There, he and some other recruits huddled in a clump. That is, when they were not taking a turn visiting the rail to lose their dinner. So sick was John, he had not the wherewithal to check the crew for the likes of Archie Arbuthnot.
When land was found, it was rather precipitously (it was only a makeshift wharf), and those who had found their sea legs endeavoured to travel down the gangplank with dignity. Those unrecovered from the crossing staggered ashore. A few of the less stalwart passengers threw themselves upon the seastrand and kissed dry land. John, who was not inclined to kiss any earth but England’s no matter how severe the trip, looked upon such doings disdainfully.
As it happens, disdain often dissolves in the harsh reality of cold, naked fear. John was handed a gun. From the precarious vantage of foreign soil, and holding a weapon he was to use to personally kill Nappy, John’s courage did not exactly collapse. But it did buckle ever so slightly. For he could not stop himself from recalling the stories about the Frogs he had been told as a child. They might not all be mindless, rug—chewing bogeyman, but John thought it probable far too many were suspect. Hence, being upon the same ground as the Frenchies was unnerving.
If morning saw him revisiting his childhood, the distribution of a uniform and his assignment to a company elevated him unto manhood by mid-morning. He had been disappointed that he was not given his uniform whilst yet in England. The powers that be, however, must have reasoned that they did not want to waste a uniform upon some soul that fell overboard during the trip.
He donned his uniform and, affecting a raffish swagger, looked about. Eyeing the other new recruits, he hoped he did not look half as green as they. Of course, this hope was negated each and every time he looked admiringly down at his new uniform and fingered the brass buttons (his uniform was missing only one, others did worse). Such a fine uniform was abundant compensation for the seasick voyage.
It boosted his morale as well to finally at least look like a Brother of the Blade. For upon the ship they had nothing to do but listen to tales of the trials of war. The stories he had heard in Derbyshire were triumphant. Those that were told shipboard by the veterans amongst them were just as vivid, but bloody. Visceral. Each one besting the last. There was no motive for the stories save frightening raw, young soldiers and of that, they were unconditionally successful. Tall stories or no, John thought far too many had a ring of truth. He would have congratulated the storytellers for their success at scaring the bejeezus out of him had he any humour left at all.
As cargo was being unloaded, he espied Georgiana. But their conversation did not include stories of war. Somehow, he knew she would learn soon enough. Instead, he stood before her displaying all the limited frippery of his uniform.
“Me and that other tall feller been asked into the Grenadiers,” he announced.
Unwitting of such a distinction, Georgiana said, nonetheless, “How excellent for you.”
Only those soldiers of the most commanding build were mustered into the Grenadiers. It was important to John that she understood that.
Thus, he explained, “Me and ’im are both bigger ’n the others. Tall, yer know?”
“Tall,” Georgiana repeated, endeavouring to understand.
“Yea. Tall. To throw the grenades. So as yer won’t hit yer own men in the back of the ’ead wi’ ’em.”
“Oh! I see! Tall. One must be of impressive height to be asked unto the Grenadiers!”
Albeit her admiration was both belated and prompted, it was still sincere and inflated John’s pride more than he would have liked.
At the reminder of battles he would fight, John warned Georgiana, “Aye heard plenty from those boys over there. They tol’ me about this fight. It’s not a pretty war, Miss Georgiana. It’s not a pretty war.”
She allowed that few wars were and thanked him for his aid and company, “Words to thank you are quite beyond me.”
Tersely, he replied, “Hope we’re both alive later for yer to say ’em.”
In defence of the affection that crossed her face, he furrowed his brow trying to look severe. Regardless of his purported disdain, Georgiana took notice of his deliberately exposed cheek and bestowed it a kiss. Other soldiers witnessed that endearment and began to whistle and hoot. Georgiana blushed and apologised for opening him unto ridicule. He did not seem all that miffed. He merely touched the spot on his cheek where she had kissed him and gave her a half-smile before turning away.
Once he had walked a short distance, John had looked back and located Georgiana’s figure disappearing into the crowd of soldiers and weaponry. On his own for so long, he had the conceit to believe himself world-weary. He was just beginning to see how truly little he himself knew.
In the less than two days since they left, John had not thought of what danger his aid had found Georgiana, having no true way of understanding how little of the world she knew. Her vulnerable visage as she commenced her mysterious odyssey made him recollect the particulars of how it had all come about in the first place.
Initially, it had not seemed at all arbitrary. When he encountered her subsequent of his confrontation with her brother, both were in low spirits. The little gem of a scheme was set into play when she saw him stalking off with his meagre possessions wrapped in a roll, tied with a string and hanging from his shoulder.
Over it, he said, “I’m goin’ to war, Miss Georgiana, I’d rather be a dead soldier than a man with nothin’.”
So heavy were his own travails, it took him six hours
on the road to Portsmouth to remember to inquire just why she had wanted to come. Certain it was only recklessness that she risked, John accepted her one word answer.
“Love.”
His mother had always said he was the least curious person she had ever known.
65
The dust had not settled from Darcy’s coach’s departure before Jane and Bingley were upon their way to Pemberley. The oblique conversation about ships and passage that had come to pass between the friends had alerted Bingley that trouble was afoot.
Their visit was a boon to Elizabeth in that she had, for the sake of appearances, been feigning composure, but with ever-increasing desperation. When they arrived, her resolve crumbled with the extraordinary gesture of embracing not only Jane (who was only mildly surprised at the greeting), but also Bingley (who was utterly astonished). The dam of suppressed hysteria burst and in a torrent, she poured out the history of Georgiana’s mysterious leave-taking and her fear that Darcy’s hasty pursuit might well tangle them both irretrievably in the tentacles of impending battle.
The entirety of Elizabeth’s explanation took place midmost in the floor, and that they stood upon a rather lovely Persian carpet notwithstanding, it did not lend substantiation unto the absurdity of the tumultuous doings. Hence, Jane led Elizabeth to be seated and bid hear the whole story again from beginning to end, possibly believing it would not sound quite so dire was it related from the sedateness of a settee. Bingley, however, stood frozen exactly where he was. Evidently, his shock was compounded by the news.
Voice trembling, Elizabeth patiently gave an orderly retelling of the occurrences (omitting the particulars of the leave-taking of John Christie). By that time, Jane was mute. But Bingley was stricken with an unlikely case of logical enquiry. Successively, he asked: How did Darcy travel unto France? With whom did he travel? How could he find Georgiana once there?
The answers, of course, were: By whatever means he could find. Alone. And, not a clue. Which was precisely why Elizabeth was near panic.
She said, however, “I can give you no account of any of it.”
Observing her increasing alarm, Bingley summoned considerable ingenuity in a lengthy answering of all of his own questions, registering a more reasonable rationale than one would suspect of him.
He concluded his recitation with the reassurance, “As you tell this, Elizabeth, it may not be necessary for Darcy to leave England at all. Georgiana may well be safe even as we speak.”
In the face of little alternative, Jane concurred with her husband, “Yes, Lizzy, he may well be returning with Georgiana this minute. Do not give way to fright.”
Somehow, Elizabeth did not really believe that it could all end so simply. The situation was unquestionably calamitous. But she gave leave to Jane and Bingley to think that they had cheered her.
Much in want of believing that they had, Jane assured her further, “If there is any man who is able to be successful in such a quest, it is Mr. Darcy. I cannot forget that he found Lydia and Mr. Wickham when they ran away. He rescued Lydia and saw them married. He is a man of just duty and much enterprise. He shall put everything to right this time as well.”
Elizabeth thought Graetna Green and battle wastelands were hardly similar undertakings and impatiently worried just who would see after Mr. Darcy whilst he was “putting everything to right.” She knew her husband was resourceful and ever cautious. But fear for one’s sister could put the most provident man in harm’s way. Too, she prayed for Georgiana’s sake that she was yet in England. If Darcy was endangered in seeking her, it could only recommend her jeopardy tenfold.
Bingley insisted upon making inquiries upon Darcy’s behalf and, had he expected protocol reckoned by her declining the initial offer, she did no such thing. Hence, he came to a right understanding of the depth of her fright.
He assured her, “I shall repair to Portsmouth immediately.”
Before pulling on his gloves, Bingley took Elizabeth’s hands in his. He spoke in a voice troubled by apprehension.
“I do wish Darcy had confided more to me. I would have much rather gone with him than to think of him alone.”
Any inexpressible vexation toward her brother-in-law was dashed with that sentiment and Elizabeth squeezed his hands in return.
“He was quite certain he could move with more dispatch alone. As much as I would be comforted to know he had the company of such a good friend as yourself, it is probably best that no one else is imperilled by this business than must be.”
Bingley almost spoke again, but there was a catch in his throat. Instead, he nodded his reluctant acceptance of Darcy’s decision and the wisdom of it. Thereupon, he tapped his hat firmly down upon his head and swiftly took his leave.
Over her objections (which were but a formality), Jane insisted upon remaining with Elizabeth.
With the sincere vow to excite Jane no further with her own discomposure, Elizabeth willed herself to be calm. Such strength of will did this endeavour employ, however, that the room began to spin. Deducing that she was about to be felled by a swoon, with great economy of motion Elizabeth tucked her head neatly in her lap.
This manoeuvre did not encourage Jane’s own composure, thus all the colour that had so recently taken hold of her countenance drained.
“Lizzy!”
So precipitously did Jane lose her hue, upon her exclamation, she followed suit, lest she swoon herself.
“Lizzy, you must cease your fright, lest you fall ill,” was Jane’s advice from the vantage of her own disorder.
With seeming synchronicity, they both sat up and looked at the other in sisterly consolation.
Regaining her senses, Elizabeth saw that the vow of silence she had only recently taken on the matter of her condition could be cast happily aside in defence of her sister’s own well-being.
“Fear not for me, Jane,” Elizabeth said, not unmindful of the complexities that request would entail.
The remark was unexceptional, but her sister’s tone was not. Jane’s countenance was a bit wary, quite apprehensive of what calamity might yet befall.
“Pray, allow me to tell you one happy bit of news,” Elizabeth said.
“Pray, do.”
Elizabeth then both enlightened and burdened her sister with the news of her impending confinement.
The first tumult of joy and subsequent turmoil of trepidation that such news provoked nearly brought Jane to a swoon once again.
“Oh Lizzy! That is the most happy news!” Jane said as she finally reclaimed her senses, “Mr. Darcy must be so very…”
“I have not told him, Jane,” Elizabeth said and then spoke what Jane could not, “I could not burden his trip with so uncertain a business as this.”
“He does not know?”
“No. I have only told you. I want no one more to know of it until I can tell my husband myself,” thus, reinstating her recently abandoned vow.
The duration of Darcy’s absence quite uncertain, Jane did not query the feasibility of Elizabeth’s wish. Hence, their evening was spent alternately laughing and weeping. By midnight, they were both quite foredone, Elizabeth from the ordeal she was enduring, and Jane by the forced pretence that there was no question that all would be well.
Jane insisted Elizabeth must retire. Nevertheless, Elizabeth was reluctant to dress for bed. Knowing it unreasonable, she held the unlikely hope that lengthening her days would shorten the nights she would have to sleep alone. Jane offered to take sleep with her, but Elizabeth shook her head. Their bedchamber had always been hers and Darcy’s sanctuary. It was theirs alone. Elizabeth did not want to share that with anyone, not even Jane.
Yet, thither did she go, only to find even greater disconcertion once she gained the room. For both sides of the bed had been turned back as if in readiness for them both. Elizabeth walked to it and sat, not on the side she claimed, but upon Darcy’s. There, she lay back, closed her eyes and placed the flat of her hand upon her stomach, feeling the small swell there.
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Thus, reassured she was not mistaken, she wondered for the hundredth time if she should have told him of the coming baby before he left. Would it have caused him more concern or less? She weighed it in her mind and could not be certain. He could be very single-minded, it was one of his strengths. And he would need all the single-mindedness he could prevail upon for what he had to do. Now that it was done, -Elizabeth was disposed to think it indeed provident that she had not told him. At that moment, however, that was of little consolation.
Albeit it was a serious (if indecorous) consideration, she decided that she could not sleep in her clothes the entire time Darcy was away and she rose to go to her dressing room. Yet, she tarried in obstinate procrastination. If she sat dressed upon the edge of the bed, it was yet the day he left and not the night he was gone. At her feet, she glimpsed a bit of white fabric peeking from beneath the bed. Raising the bed-skirt (and trying not to notice the mirror yet beneath their bed), she took a garment hiding from thence and held it before her. She recognised it as the shirt Darcy had worn the day before. In his haste to leave, it had been very nearly kicked out of sight. Goodwin would have been contrite at his lapse of diligence with the laundry.
He would have had he learnt of it. But that knowledge would be refused him. For Elizabeth thought it a gift of greater worth than any jewels Darcy had bestowed upon her. She lay back and held it to her face, taking a deep breath of her husband’s scent. It brought her to tears. But they were not the tears of dismay, but of exultation. For his aroma reminded her that though he was not with her, he was yet alive, and, somehow, it made her believe that he would return.
Nothing could make her relinquish such a treasure to the wash.
*
The second day was no easier to endure than the one before, but with the covert aid of her husband’s soiled shirt, eventually Elizabeth made herself cease her obsessive contemplation of what was and stopped brooding, at least aloud, upon that over which she had no control. Jane, perchance in want of diverting Elizabeth, or possibly because it could be put off no longer, recommended that they make final arrangements for the baby that Bingley’s woman (Elizabeth could not think of that loose woman in a less derogatory term) had birthed to be brought to Pemberley.
Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife Page 61