by Stasia Black
She just looks back and forth between me and Ezo, mouth slightly gaping. “Oh.” She seems flabbergasted and a little lost. “Well, it was so nice to… I have to go see to…” Her words fade off again and then she grabs Brian’s hand and starts to stride away, jerking him along behind her.
I breathe out a sigh of relief. “Thank God that’s over.”
Ezo looks down at me. He seems like he’s about to ask me a question when I suddenly see my father striding towards me. He looks pissed. Oh shit.
“What is it?” Ezo asks, obviously seeing me tense up.
“I’ll just be a second. I need to go talk to my dad.”
This isn’t going to be pretty, and whatever Dad’s mad about, I can’t bear Ezo overhearing.
I hurry away from him and meet my dad halfway across the back lawn.
“What did you do?” Dad demands in a seething whisper. “I just saw Alicia in tears after she talked to you. This is her engagement party for Christ’s sake! For once in your life, couldn’t you manage not to be selfish and think of someone else?”
Wow. I’m not prepared for how much that stings. I blink hard and stare at the ground.
“Look at me when I’m talking to you.”
I swallow hard and glare up at my father. He’s a good-looking man, tall, with broad shoulders, a wide jaw, and aristocratic looking salt and pepper hair always cut so neat.
He was always an exacting, demanding father, never satisfied with the mix of B’s and A’s on my report cards. He endlessly berated me to try harder, to study more, to be more self-disciplined (aka, not to be so chubby). To be more like my little sister, who did all of those things as naturally as breathing.
“Did you come here just to make a fool of me?”
How can he— “Dad, what? No, I just—”
“You just have to be the center of attention, don’t you? Well, not today. It stops here. I coddled you too long when you were a child but you’re a grown woman now, for God’s sake. I won’t have you showing up and spoiling a perfectly good party where everyone was having a lovely time. You can leave now. And consider yourself disinvited from the wedding.”
I nod, shame and humiliation choking me. I barely manage the words, “I’m going,” before I turn away from him, hot tears spilling down my cheeks.
Ezo is striding towards me in the distance but I can’t face him right now. I just need a second to get my shit together. I need to be alone.
I hurry towards the house, all but running, but before I get there, I detour right and yank open the sliding door to the pool house.
I rush inside and close the door behind me. Then I bend over and let the tears fall.
Jesus, why do I let that man still get to me? He used to say cruel shit to me all the time when I was a teenager but in the last few years we’ve been civil. So I just wasn’t expecting it. I used to know to have my guard up around him but I didn’t shield myself well enough today and every one of his words pierced deep.
I swipe at my tears angrily and stand up. And then let out a little shriek.
Because Brian is standing in the other corner of the pool house, smoking a cigarette.
“Have a run in with the judge?” he asks with a lazy drawl, sucking deep on his cigarette and then blowing out a puff of smoke.
“Since when do you smoke?” It’s stupid, but it’s all I can think to ask.
He lets out a bitter chortle. “Since I got engaged to your perfect fucking sister and she transformed into a nagging bitch who makes my sphincter coil every time I hear her shrill voice.”
He drops the cigarette onto the carpet and stomps it out with the toe of his fancy shoe. He’s dressed in a suit, the thread count alone belying the fact that my sister bought it for him.
“If you hate her so much, then why are you still engaged to her?” I don’t recognize the man in front of me. He’s bitter and hard and Brian was a lot of things, many of them not that great, but he wasn’t this.
He laughs harshly and I cringe at the sound. “And kill my career before it even starts? We both know the only way I’m getting a job is through his connections.”
Oh my God, I’m such a stupid girl. Because that shield I should have had up earlier when dealing with my father? It was still down and Brian’s words make it through, even though I swore I’d never let him hurt me again.
“Is that why you stayed with me for so long?” I try hard not to, but my voice still breaks on the words.
Brian just shrugs, neither confirming nor denying that my dad was his entire reason for being with me at all.
“Look, babe,” he says, crossing the room towards me, “that guy you’re with? He’s a total loser. You know that, right?”
How fucking dare he—
“What do you say you and me have one last tumble in the sheets? Just for old time sake? I know how much you always wanted to stick it to your sister.” He gestures to the couch behind him. “This is the perfect opportunity. Come on, babe. Kiss me.”
He comes towards me and I’m about to tell him exactly where he can shove it when the glass door behind me suddenly shatters.
I shriek and jump forward in surprise as Ezo leaps through. The next second, he’s towering over me and Brian, his face red and blue eyes flashing with an unnatural fire. Oh shit, he’s about to go all fire-breathing dragon any second now.
I grab Ezo’s arm but it’s like he barely notices. Brian stumbles backwards, hands held up in defense and eyes terrified. “Hey man, she came on to me.”
The lying motherfucker! But if I scream at him now, who knows what Ezo will do? Right now he looks like he’s in the mood to kill somebody. Namely Brian.
I squeeze Ezo’s arm. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”
When he ignores me, his furious eyes still on Brian, I shout, “Fine! You want to have your pissing match? I’m out of here.”
I turn and head for what used to be the door but my dramatic exit is slowed when a shard of broken glass slices the side of my toe.
Fucking open-toed sandals.
“Ana! You’re hurt!”
I hold up a warning hand but Ezo completely ignores it, sweeps me up into his arms and— while everyone in the backyard is frozen, watching and no doubt whispering about the judge’s scandalous daughter—he carries me through the house and back to the car.
Chapter Fourteen
Ezo
Ana will not let me see to her bleeding foot when we arrive back at the car. She yanks away from me and gets in the car behind the wheel, slamming the door in my face.
I try to open it again but it does not budge.
Growling, I stomp around the car and yank on the passenger door. It opens with ease and I join Ana in the car. I, too, slam the door.
“What the hell were you thinking breaking the glass like that?” she yells suddenly.
I look at her, incredulous. “You were about to mate with that man. Your boy friend.”
“Are you joking?” she asks, her voice low. “Tell me you’re joking.”
“No I am not joking,” I all but shout. Why would she think I would joke at a time like this? I followed her when she walked away from her father, looking upset. I was trying to figure out how to open the strange, glass door when I suddenly heard voices coming from inside.
Her and the man she wanted to be her mate.
Had they communicated in some way I did not see earlier? Had they planned to meet there?
“I can’t believe you would—” She breaks off, shaking her head and looking out the front windshield. Then she turns the car on and drives away, wheels screeching on the asphalt. I’m thrown backwards by the momentum into my seat.
“Stop the vehicle,” I command.
She looks away from the road for a moment to glare at me. “No. I’m not going to sit in front of my parents fucking house arguing with you. I won’t give them or their friends the satisfaction.”
“I do not care about them. Stop the vehicle!”
“Fuck you!”
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She keeps driving, pulling onto a much larger road with many lanes and speeding vehicles. I grip the dashboard and the handle above my head.
How can she—? She rips my heart from my chest and now she goes on like she has done nothing wrong? Like nothing is the matter? Females are infuriating! I’m glad I have never had to deal with them before her.
Then, without a word, she slows and exits the larger road onto a narrower one again. My heartbeat slows a bit. At least now I don’t have to worry about her putting herself in danger. First she recklessly walks on glass and then hurls herself down the road at reckless speeds in this primitive death machine—
After making a turn, Ana brings the car to a halt.
She’s breathing hard, her chest rising and falling, still staring out the front windshield. “I can’t believe you think I would cheat on you.”
“But I heard—”
“I don’t give a fuck what you thought you heard!” Tears shine in her eyes and my chest tightens painfully. “To have to deal with my father and then Brian—” She sucks in a harsh breath, water spilling from her eyes down her cheeks. “No one has ever believed in me. I thought you were different.”
The anguish in her voice has me questioning what I thought I heard. She asked the man, Brian, why he was with her sister. And then about their time when they were together.
It only got worse from there. He insulted me and she did not say a word in my defense. Then he invited her into his bed sheets. She did not deny him.
I told myself to walk away. That I don’t want such a faithless female as a mate. But when he told her to kiss him, I could not control my rage. So I broke down the barrier between us and don’t know what I might have done if Ana hadn’t stopped me.
To save him from my wrath.
But looking at the devastation in her eyes now…
“Ana…” My throat clogs with unfamiliar emotion.
“What, do you need to fuck me again and see inside my head before you believe me?” Her words are harsh and caustic. But I see the pain in her eyes. And the truth.
She is not like the females of my race. She does not deal in manipulation and deceit.
She is my Ana. My mate.
I misunderstood. When I broke through the window, they were not kissing. She never said anything to encourage him. But I assumed—
I assumed wrong. Because I was afraid of losing her.
And I have injured her dearly. After I swore I would protect her.
I lift her from her seat and pull her into my lap.
“I’m sorry. Ana.” I cup her cheeks as she so often does mine but she averts her eyes out the window. “Ana,” I cry harshly and finally she looks at me. “I am a fool. I am sorry. I am sorry. I have failed you.”
I bow my head into her chest and beg the ancients that she will not renounce me as her mate.
She’s stiff in my arms, unresponsive to my pleas, and I clutch her tighter.
Finally, finally, thank the ancients, she begins to soften in my grasp and her arms return my embrace, twining around my neck.
She lets out a long breath against my hair. “It’s okay,” she murmurs. “It was just a bad day.”
I shake my head. “It is not okay. What can I do in penance?” I urge her back from me, as much as it pains me to let her go. But I must right what I have wronged. No matter the price.
“I will sever my right hand,” I say with finality. I don’t have my slyathe but I could probably borrow one from Shak.
“Ha ha,” Ana says, laughing a little as she swipes at her tears. “Funny joke.”
I frown. “My Ana, I am not joking. I have wronged you grievously. I must pay penance.”
She stares at me a moment. “Wait, you’re serious?”
She doesn’t believe I mean my oath? “I will cut off my right hand and spend years in servitude.”
She jerks back from me, though she stays in my lap. “What the fuck are you talking about, Ezo?”
“Penance.” Did she not hear me the first time? “I know I must do penance for my offense, my Ana, but I will pay any price. I should not have caused you such pain.”
“So you think cutting off your hand is going to fix things?”
My stomach tightens. I’m a fool and now I could lose her. I shake my head. “No, I know it is too small a thing. But I promise ten years and servitude, no, fifty years, if you will only—”
“Ezo! Stop it!” She’s angry and I’m only making things worse.
I stop, the sick feeling inside me growing. Why can’t I say the right thing? What can I do so she’ll allow me to stay with her? “Please don’t send me away,” I plead, and I don’t care that I’m begging. I would crawl at her feet if only she would not send me away. “Tell me what I must do.”
“If I make a mistake, are you going to demand that I chop off my hand?”
“What?” I say explosively. Horror chokes me at the thought. “No!”
She takes a deep breath in and closes her eyes like she’s trying to calm herself. She is preparing to send me away.
I shut my mouth before I can utter any more pleas. If she has made a decision, I will abide it, no matter the suffering it causes me.
When she opens her eyes again, though, they’re soft and a jolt of shock rushes through me when she reaches out and touches my face tenderly.
“Don’t they have forgiveness where you come from?”
Forgiveness. It’s a human word that has no translation in Draci. Though I know the shape and sound of it, and that it has something to do with a transaction after wrongdoing. What, exactly, I never understood.
“I… I am unsure. What is it?”
Her face softens even more. “Forgiveness is when someone makes a mistake and they’re genuinely sorry for it. They wish they hadn’t done it or could take it back.”
I nod my head vigorously. “Yes. This is what I feel,” I say in a rush. “This is forgiveness?”
She shakes her head. “No, forgiveness is what the other person does. The person who has been wronged. You make a mistake and I know you regret it, so I forgive you.”
I wait for her to say more but she doesn’t. “But what must I do?”
“You don’t have to do anything,” she says. “You just keep on being you and I’ll be me. Sometimes we’ll make mistakes. We’ll fight. And then we’ll forgive each other.”
“But what happens then? When does the penance occur?”
“Honey, that’s what I’m trying to say.” She holds my face in her hands, sliding closer so that we’re only inches apart. Her nearness after I thought all was lost— I want to clutch her close in my arms but I still don’t understand. Then she finishes, “You don’t have to do penance.”
“But I must! There must be a cost!”
“Why?” She looks at me as if I’m crazy. “I care about you. You care about me, I think.”
I nod my head vigorously.
“You weren’t trying to hurt me. It was a misunderstanding. We’re talking about it, and now I know you feel bad. You’ll try not to do it again in the future, right?”
“Never,” I declare.
She lifts an eyebrow. “So you’re perfect? You’re never going to make a mistake ever again?”
This feels like a trap. But I won’t make the same mistake twice, of comparing her to Draci females. “I don’t understand,” I say carefully, unsure how to navigate these waters.
“No, you’re not perfect. I’m not perfect. We’re going to make mistakes. We’re only hu—” she breaks off and smiles. “I was going to say we’re only humans, but you know…”
She leans in and kisses me. Her lips feel like the bliss of a fire after a long brutal day on the ice.
I move my mouth against hers and she opens to me. I scent her and she is the most heady mix of sweetness, a hint of chocolate, and Ana. My tongue tangles with hers and within a few moments, I harden beneath her.
She laughs and pulls back from me, her beautiful cheeks coloring pink. “N
ot here,” she says breathlessly.
I stare at her. She means it. This forgiveness she spoke of. It has made it as if my transgression never was. I shake my head in wonder.
“You are wrong, my Ana,” I breathe out. “You are perfect.”
I meant to make her happy but new water films her eyes. “Ha. Tell that to my father.” She climbs off of my lap and back into her seat in front of the wheel.
Why did my words make her leave me? I want her back in my arms. I want to bury myself inside her to feel this forgiveness of hers, to reassure myself that she’s is not planning to send me away.
But my selfishness and stupidity is what brought us here in the first place, so I focus on her words.
“Then drive us back to your father’s house and I will tell him this,” I state firmly.
She lets out another half of breath, eyes going to the ceiling of the car. “It’s not that simple. It never is with him.”
“What did he say to you when you spoke? You seemed upset.”
“It was just more of the same bullshit I’ve gotten my whole life from him. Why can’t I be more like my sister? Why didn’t I try harder at college? Why am I such a loser?” She winces even as she speaks the last words. I don’t understand all of what she says but I see she’s wounded. Her father’s words cut her, and then I cut her further when she was already bleeding.
I don’t know if I believe in forgiveness because I certainly cannot forgive myself so easily.
“What have you lost?” I ask. “You are strong and brave. And you should not be like your sister.” I grimace even remembering the encounter. “She is colorless and false and breakable as a twig.”
Ana laughs out loud at this, a real laugh this time. “Oh my God. I think that’s the best description of Alicia I’ve ever heard. Though you should know, a lot of guys on Earth find that whole skinny as a twig thing sexy.”
I frown, incredulous. “Where are her teats?” Draci females might not have them either, but I’ve become very fond of them ever since discovering Ana’s. “And how can she bear young when she is so insubstantial? I saw her bones sticking out from her skin.” I shudder to think what one such as her would feel like in the sheets.