by Deb Kastner
“Guess you could say it was more of a someone than a something. Let’s just say I wanted to get the girl.”
Tessa gasped. He was talking about her. Them.
“Not just any girl, mind you, but the most beautiful redhead I’d ever laid eyes on. The sweetest, too.”
Now he was piling it on a little too thick. She wanted to roll her eyes. She was certain the teenagers would never buy his saccharine story—and yet Cole appeared to have their rapt attention.
“See, the problem was, she wasn’t really into sports. Or football players. I couldn’t impress her with my skills on the field. She was the star of the theater program. That was quite a barrier, right? I could have let that stop me.”
He waited for the teens to nod.
“That’s right. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I’ve never been the kind of man to take no for an answer.”
Tessa’s heart had been welling into her throat at Cole’s recitation of the all-too-familiar story, but at his last words, it plunged into her stomach like a lead balloon.
He had experienced one no in his life—a very public one. And he hadn’t even tried to change her mind.
“I figured the easiest way to get this girl to notice me—really notice me—would be to try out for the school musical. You have to understand, I’d never sung a lick of music in my life, at least not out in public where someone could hear me. And you can bet my friends teased me about it. But you know what? I did it, anyway. I stuck my neck out there and got a part.”
Tessa’s ears were glued to Cole’s voice, but she kept her eyes trained on Grayson. She wasn’t sure she could look Cole in the face right now. Her old standby—running away from what made her uncomfortable—was pressing at her from all sides. Her skin was itching with the desire to cut out of the room before the teenagers put the whole story together.
Because eventually, they would discover whom Cole was talking about. And that was going to complicate matters. Immensely. Which was why she wanted to pick up and leave right now.
She’d thought she’d learned her lesson, that she had matured beyond the temptation to run away if it hurt.
Evidently she wasn’t as mature as she’d imagined herself to be.
“You got the lead?” Kaylie asked the question Tessa imagined all the teenagers were wondering.
Cole belted out a laugh. “Nope. I was the understudy, which was perfectly fine for me. I wouldn’t have to sing in front of an audience, but I hoped I could still spend time with the girl I liked—rehearse with her from time to time. It didn’t work out well, though. Not as I’d imagined. But then something amazing happened. Opening night came, and the lead man caught the flu. At the very last minute, I had to go on in his place.”
“For reals?” Matt asked.
“Definitely. It doesn’t get any more real than having your very first kiss with the love of your life on a stage in front of a couple of hundred people.”
Tessa’s head jerked up, and she accidentally yanked the bottle from Grayson’s hungry lips.
The love of his life?
Grayson wailed in protest, and every eye turned on her. Heat rose from her toes to her eyebrows. She cringed. Blushes didn’t look good on redheads.
“Red? You okay?”
There was a gasp from somewhere among the teenagers. She didn’t know who was the first to figure it out. But she knew by the rush of voices that followed that they’d caught onto the bombshell factor of the story.
She was that girl.
Tessa tried desperately to refocus her attention on Grayson, but she felt as if her entire world had just tipped on end.
The love of his life, he’d said. Is that what she had been to him? For her part, she’d once thought Cole was that man. If she was honest, she would have to admit she might still be harboring a few lingering feelings, but she was surprised he would still refer to her that way.
Did a person ever completely get over their first love?
Yes. She had. She thought she had. She’d gone years without thinking about Cole. Much. Okay—sometimes. But why should that matter? He was a big part of her past, after all.
And then, when he’d come back into her life and brought his sweet infant son, she suddenly didn’t know her own heart anymore. The story of how they’d met was bittersweet at best. Too much had been lost between them. She didn’t want to think about it.
“Can I help?” Tessa looked up to find Whitley by her side.
“I— Sure,” Tessa stammered, passing her the baby and the bottle. She would rather have had something to do with her hands to keep her busy, but this was the first time Whitley had put herself out there for anything, and Tessa couldn’t miss this opportunity, no matter how she was feeling personally.
The teenager’s face lit up as she settled Grayson into the curve of her arm and offered him the bottle. The infant rooted and fussed for a moment, and then Whitley started to sing the song they were supposed to have been practicing. To Tessa’s surprise, Grayson immediately stopped crying, staring up at Whitley with a keen interest.
In fact, everyone’s conversation halted as Whitley’s peers stared at her in astonishment. Tessa had known Whitley had a lovely voice, but until that moment, she hadn’t realized just how powerful and moving it was.
Whitley appeared oblivious to the attention she was getting. Her entire focus was on the baby in her arms.
“I call her as my partner.” Matt was the first one to speak up. “Ha. The rest of you guys are out of luck.”
All the kids laughed at Matt’s sudden change of heart—everyone, that is, except Kaylie. She burst into tears, ran off the stage and bolted out the nearest exit. Tessa cringed. It was all too reminiscent of her own past behavior, except...
“What just happened?” Tessa asked, her gaze finding Cole’s.
Cole’s expression was grim. “I’ve got this,” he said and strode out the door without another word.
Tessa was beyond being able to roll with the punches this afternoon had been throwing at her. She no longer even wanted to try.
“All right, then,” she muttered, gesturing for the teenagers to rise to their feet. “Let’s take it from the top.”
* * *
Cole couldn’t believe the day of the June BBQ was already upon him. Where had the week gone? He stared at his freshly shaven reflection in the mirror and adjusted the dark brown bolo tie that fastened the collar of his crisp Western shirt. As a wrangler, he didn’t usually wear white. It was too easy to get light colors smudged or dirty. He’d had to purchase a new dress shirt from Emerson’s just for this occasion.
Tessa had decided that the two of them should match the teenagers, so they all wore black jeans and white shirts. It was a classy gesture, and Cole would never have thought of something like that. He didn’t remember Tessa being so organized and detail-oriented back in high school, but he didn’t know whether that was simply a trait he’d overlooked in her, or whether her education and her career as a counselor at Redemption Ranch had changed her habits. He’d been so caught up in his youthful feelings for her back then that he suspected he’d missed a lot of things.
The day of the June BBQ had arrived faster than Cole anticipated—not that he ever would have been really ready for it. Grayson was going through a growth spurt that left him perpetually hungry and fussy to boot. Cole was getting about four hours of sleep a night if he was lucky, and his physical exhaustion was starting to get to him. He had been busy working with the teenagers in the stables and on the trails and then tacking on the extra responsibility of practicing the music for their performance.
The late nights were the worst. All he could do was pace up and down the dark hallway with Grayson with nothing to do but run things through his head. Problems always felt worse in the dead of night, and thinking about the barbecue was no exception.
He had no idea how he was going to get through the event with his heart intact. It took every ounce of his willpower to push his anxiety continuously to the back of his mind, but he refused to dwell on it. He’d deal with whatever issues arose when the time came.
Grayson wasn’t the only one keeping Cole up at night. He was worried about Kaylie, as well. She wasn’t on an emotionally even keel, and yet she continued to insist he keep her secret for her. Private, just between the two of them and Dr. Delia.
When he’d caught up with Kaylie after she’d bolted, he’d done everything but get down on his knees and beg her to come clean to Tessa, but to no avail.
Cole still berated himself for bringing Grayson with him the day of the first practice. If he’d thought it all the way through, he would have realized how difficult seeing the baby would be for Kaylie, but he hadn’t recognized it at the time. And anyway, he didn’t have a babysitter other than his father. What was a man to do?
At least he’d convinced Kaylie to see Dr. Delia, reminding her of the doctor-patient confidentiality that would keep her secret safe. He’d even taken her to the doctor’s office himself on one of her free afternoons. He hated feeling as if they were sneaking around behind Tessa’s back and Alexis’s, as well. He didn’t like the idea of keeping the truth from either of them. But he was doing what he could for Kaylie, and for now, that would have to be enough. She was starting to trust him. Maybe eventually she’d have enough confidence in him to allow Tessa into the loop.
Kaylie and her baby had checked out okay at the doctor’s, thankfully, other than being slightly underweight for her late stage of pregnancy. Cole had pulled Dr. Delia aside and voiced his concern that Kaylie was hardly showing, but other than mentioning a few restrictions for late-stage pregnancy, Delia assured him all was well.
That was something good, at least. Wasn’t it?
He shook his head at his reflection. It wasn’t nearly enough, but it would have to do for now.
He pushed a comb through his hair, trying to tame the wavy wayward locks with gel, but didn’t have much success. He supposed it didn’t matter in the long run. His cowboy hat would negate his work in five minutes. Now that his once-neat military haircut had grown out, he looked as if he belonged riding out on the range, even clean shaven and well dressed.
He only wanted to look nice for Tessa’s sake. He wasn’t the kind of man who gave much thought to outward appearances, especially his own. He supposed he also wanted to look good for the teenagers—show them that they had his full support. Tessa and the kids deserved to know he had their backs in this performance and, well, everything they did together.
It wasn’t Tessa’s fault he was wrestling through his own issues. In the process, he had given her a whale of a hard time lately. Despite their past, she didn’t deserve that kind of attitude from him. She had her hands full with those hormonal teenage girls and prank-pulling teenage boys without him adding to the pressure. He vowed to treat her better, and today at the barbecue was a good place to start.
“Ready, little man?” Settling his cowboy hat on his head, he slid Grayson into the carrier strapped to his chest and slung the diaper bag over his shoulder. It occurred to him that the diaper bag didn’t embarrass him anymore—not even a tiny gnaw at his male ego or pride. He chuckled.
When he arrived at the community green a few minutes later, the park was already buzzing with activity. Folks were arriving, their arms laden with food. Local paramedics and best friends Ben and Zach had dug a pit the day before and were roasting a whole pig. Cup O’ Jo’s was providing a delicious array of Phoebe Hawkins’s baked goods, and the other townsfolk brought potluck, all of their families’ favorite dishes to share. One would imagine they could end up with a hundred bags of potato chips and nothing to dip them in, but oddly enough, the potluck fare always tended to work out fairly well, even without any formal organization.
The festivities—picnic games for both adults and children, music, dancing, and the best part of all to Cole, the eating—wouldn’t begin for another hour yet, but many folks, Cole included, arrived early to help set up.
Folding tables from the nearby community church were being toted out and unloaded, with Pastor Shawn and his wife, Heather, facilitating the entire process. Jo Spencer arrived bearing a large stack of colorful red-checked tablecloths from the café. Cole helped her spread them across the broad tables, securing them with special clips to brace them against the inevitable Texas breeze. Soon there’d be so many dishes on the tables, there would be no need for the clips. Cole’s mouth was watering already. If there was one thing he could say for certain about Serendipity, it was that they excelled at their good, down-home country cooking.
The town council had brought in a popular band for the gig. It was a town tradition. Most events in Serendipity were covered by local musicians, but at the June BBQ, the town splurged on outside music so that all the locals could dance.
Cole swallowed hard. He’d started that particular tradition twelve years ago when he’d brought in Tessa’s favorite singing group as a special surprise for her—right before he’d proposed to her in front of the whole town. She’d not only rejected him, but also bolted off the green as if her tail was on fire.
To this day, he didn’t know what had gone wrong. He’d honestly thought she’d been expecting him to put a ring on her finger, and he’d most certainly anticipated her acceptance of his proposal.
That hadn’t happened.
“Cole, sweetie, your face is as red as the checks on this tablecloth. This isn’t easy for you, is it, dear?” Jo’s voice and her expression were the epitome of compassion and empathy. She was like a second mother to most of the town, Cole included. He’d grown up under her guidance and supervision. Cup O’ Jo’s was the place to be when folks needed help or advice. She might be the lead grinder of the gossip mill, but she was also the strongest link in Serendipity’s prayer chain—and the most kind and intuitive woman Cole had ever known.
“Yes. It’s rough,” he admitted, cringing inwardly. He saw no point in denying the truth. If Jo remembered how the events transpired between him and Tessa twelve years ago at the June BBQ, more than likely others did, as well.
This would no doubt be an excruciating day for him and Tessa both. Suddenly Cole could see the wisdom of the way Alexis and Jo had bound them together over the music project with the youth. Folks would see them working together and, ideally, realize the past was just that—the past.
They had both moved on. They were over it.
“May the Almighty bless you but good, young man. Y’all are doing all right.”
“We?”
“You and Tessa. And Grayson. You’re a good man, Cole Bishop. And a wonderful father.”
Cole couldn’t meet Jo’s eyes. “You give me too much credit,” he muttered, yanking his end of the tablecloth and accidentally jerking it out of Jo’s hands.
“Oh, dear,” she breathed.
“Sorry.”
“Talk to her.”
“What? Who?” he asked, although he already knew the answer.
“Tessa. Tell her how you feel.”
He shook his head. “I don’t—”
“Hmmph,” Jo snorted, planting her fists on her ample hips. “Are you really going to stand there and finish that sentence, us being in God’s presence and all? He’s everywhere, you know, not just in church. He’s in your heart. Don’t say what you don’t mean.”
“Well, even if I do feel something—and I’m not admitting to anything, so don’t go throwing coal in the engine of the gossip train just yet—I don’t see how talking about it is going to help. There’s too much between Tessa and me that was left unsaid for too long.”
“Sometimes you have to go back before you can go forward, dear. The talkin’ that should have happened years ago but didn’t, for starters. That needs to happen. I know it
scares the socks off you, but Tessa might surprise you. High time you two made peace with each other. The real thing, not just a rigid truce.”
Cole lifted his hat and threaded his fingers through his hair. He wasn’t going to be admitting to fear anytime soon, but Jo was right about the rest of it, and she was probably the only one in Serendipity wise enough and brave enough to speak the truth to him.
“Agreed. It won’t be easy, but I’ll talk to her.”
“Today?”
Cole wasn’t sure he was ready for any kind of confrontation with Tessa. He hadn’t had time to think through what he was going to say, and he wasn’t the kind of man to go off half-cocked.
Oh, who was he kidding? He’d had twelve years to think on it. Jo was right. Now was the time for action.
“I’ll speak to her as soon as—”
“Great. She’s right over there, talking to her father.” Jo pointed across the green. “From the looks of things, Tessa might appreciate being rescued right about now.”
Once again, Jo was right on. Tessa was absorbed in a heated conversation. Both she and her dad appeared strained. Her father was frowning as he spoke, and Tessa had her arms wrapped tightly around her middle—a tell Cole well recognized even after all these years.
“I’ll take Grayson,” Jo said, lifting her arms toward the baby. “The teens won’t be performing for another hour at least, and there’s plenty of other folks who can help with the settin’ up. You go do what needs to be done.”
His heart in this throat and his pulse roaring in his ears, he squared his shoulders and headed toward Tessa. His emotions were tentative, maybe even a little bit apprehensive, but his steps were not.
If he was going to commit to this thing, he needed to be all in, mind, body and spirit. Completely focused.
And totally vulnerable.
It wasn’t a comfortable place for him to be.
“Bart,” he said, extending his hand to Tessa’s father. “Good to see you.”
Cole’s words were more of a polite concession than a precise truth. He didn’t like the way Bart was scowling at his daughter, and it was all he could do not to tell the man so. If Bart had a problem with Tessa, there was no need to air it in a public venue.