by Lacey London
‘I tried to, but she denied the whole thing. She told me that they met at a coffee shop. Why would she lie if she had nothing to hide?’
‘I don’t know. Maybe she was embarrassed. Maybe she thought you would judge her like the delightful Gwen did…’
My skin prickles as the dawning realisation that I might have got this totally wrong hits me. Not knowing what to say, I choose to say nothing.
‘Eve has been a good friend to you since we moved here, to both of us. How could you believe that about her?’
Racking my brains for a suitable response, I shrug my shoulders and shake my head. ‘I don’t know.’
For a while neither of us say anything. Staring out of the window, I watch a group of young girls laugh happily as they walk arm in arm along the street. I have gone from having the best friend in the world to having none at all and I’m not even sure why. What I would give for my old life back. My old friends and my old apartment suddenly seem so far away. I adore our new house, of course I do, I just haven’t had that feeling there. That feeling that tells you you’re home. Secretly I wish we would never have come here. Oliver was so taken with Spring Oak that I was desperate to make it work. Suddenly Oliver exhales loudly, interrupting my train of thought.
‘Listen, if you’re not happy in Spring Oak, I have absolutely no issue with us moving back to the city.’
Did he really just say that? My body feels momentarily paralyzed as I try to process what he just said. ‘You would really do that?’
He shrugs his shoulders and runs a hand through his hair. ‘To be honest, I kinda miss the buzz of London. Every night on my way back from work a little part of me wishes that I didn’t have to leave. London is what made me fall in love with England and I dunno, to me it will always be the place that I think of as home.’
I let out a gasp and try to imagine the possibility of us returning to our old lives with a baby in tow. I picture us walking through town, people stopping to comment on how adorable Noah is. I think of my old haunt, The Bistro and imagine how wonderful it would feel to go back with Noah. I envisage us in a beautiful apartment with stunning views of the city and a huge playroom for Noah. I don’t even need to think twice to know that this is what I want.
‘Although, you do know that moving back to the city won’t fix your problems, don’t you?’
I nod in response and look down at Noah who is kicking his legs in his pram. Taking the black box from the table, he holds out his hand for mine. Chewing my cheek to stop myself from crying again, my face breaks into a smile as he slips the stunning platinum band onto my finger. The diamonds sparkle brightly against my other rings, forming the perfect bridal set.
‘When we got married, I promised you that I would make it my mission in life to make you happy and if moving back to London would make you happy, I am one hundred percent behind you.’ He smiles at me and plucks Noah out of his pram for a cuddle.
‘What did I ever do to deserve you, Oliver Morgan?’ Reaching across the table, I squeeze his arm gently, recoiling as the waiter returns to our table and taps his notepad impatiently.
‘Have you guys decided what you would like?’ He flashes us a forced smile and pushes his glasses up the bridge of his pointy nose.
Looking down at my shiny new ring, I smile as it glistens back at me. I think it is safe to say that we have…
Home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling.
Chapter 22
Tearing off my marigolds and throwing them into the bath, I use my forearm to wipe the sweat from my forehead. With Marc arriving tomorrow morning I have made it my mission to ensure that our home looks nothing less than perfect. Ever since I jumped out of bed this morning, I have scrubbed this house from top to bottom. From scouring the skirting boards to polishing the light switches, I really have pulled out all the stops. I use the term jumped out of bed, because that’s literally what I did. For weeks now I have had to practically drag myself to my feet, but this morning couldn’t have been more different.
As soon as the first signs of daylight crept into our bedroom, I had an incredible urge to be doing something. Anything other than lying in bed where my mind was free to go into overdrive. After our meal last night, I have felt like a giant weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Although strangely, I still have a feeling of uneasiness in my stomach. The fact that Oliver is willing to make the move back to the city makes me want to squeal with delight, but I am very aware running away isn’t the answer to my problems. I have a lot of making up to do first, primarily with Li.
Stumbling into my now gleaming bedroom, I snatch my phone from the dressing table and collapse into a heap on the bed. Between cleaning spurts, I have been trying to gear myself up to contact Lianna. Now that I know she isn’t as mad at me as I anticipated, I shouldn’t be giving this a second thought, but swallowing your pride is easier said than done. Do I apologise? Do I ask her to apologise? Chewing my lip, I remind myself that apologising doesn’t have to mean that I’m wrong, it just means that I would rather have our friendship than carry on like this. I no longer care what names she called me and what insults were thrown. I just want my best friend back. Tapping away at the screen, I must write and rewrite the text ten times before finally hitting the send button. Stashing the handset under my pillow, I let out a relieved sigh and push myself to my feet.
Unfortunately, Lianna isn’t the only person that I have to contact today as I promised Oliver that I would go and see Eve. Between you and me, I’m still not convinced that he’s got the whole escort thing right. After seeing Gwen’s mask slip, I have realised that Gwen and her friends are not the kind of people that I would want to associate with, but I really don’t think that they are liars. Spraying the window ledge with polish, I am about to start rubbing when I spot Eve walking back to her house. Even though a part of me still feels unsure of her, I decide to keep my promise and bite the bullet.
With Oliver putting a return to the city on the table I should be walking on air, but something is bugging me. Deep down, I know exactly what this feeling is, I just don’t want to acknowledge it. It’s a feeling of guilt. A feeling that I might have blown off a dear friend on the basis of nothing more than idle village gossip. Not wanting to lose my nerve, I run a brush through my hair and ask Janie to watch Noah. Slipping out of the front door, I take a deep breath and make my way over to Eve’s house. As I approach the huge double doors, a pang of panic hits my stomach and I contemplate running away. Before I can disappear down the garden path, a Pomeranian appears at the glass and barks loudly, immediately alerting her to my presence. Like magic, Eve struts down the hall, momentarily pausing as she realises who is stood on her porch. Chewing the inside of my cheek anxiously, I pull back my lips into a thin smile as she gingerly opens the door.
‘Clara…’ She looks down at her feet as she speaks. ‘What can I do for you?’
Folding my arms defensively, I exhale loudly. ‘I think we should talk.’
Nodding in response, Eve steps aside and motions for me to come in. As we walk into the living room, I am accosted by five fluffy puppies. With their tails wagging wildly and pink tongues hanging out of the sides of their mouths they look truly adorable. Why, oh why do they have to be so cute when I am trying my best to be serious? Making every effort to ignore them, I take a seat on the plush couch and wait for Eve to do the same.
‘So…’ She asks, fiddling with the sleeve of her cashmere jumper. ‘What did you want to talk about?’
I stare at the pack of pooches for a moment before giving in and plucking one at random and placing it in my lap.
‘Eve, I know and you know that I know.’
For a moment Eve doesn’t say anything, she just stares back at me with an unreadable expression on her face. Eventually she tears her eyes away from mine.
‘Who told you?’
‘Gwen. Well, actually it was Alice.’
Eve shakes her head and laughs sarcastically. ‘I should have known. Go on, what am I this time?
A hooker? Thief? Baby snatcher?’
‘Try prostitute.’
Eve pushes herself to her feet and walks over to the window. It takes me a few seconds to realise that she is crying.
‘I cannot believe that this is happening to me again.’ She runs a finger under her eyes and sniffs loudly. ‘Why won’t they give me a break?’
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ I twist my wedding band around my finger and attempt to keep my Poker face in place.
‘Because I didn’t want you to judge me like the rest of the women here did.’
‘Can you blame them? You moved here as a real life Pretty Woman and when they gave you the benefit of the doubt, you slept with their friend’s husband!’
‘This just gets better and better, doesn’t it?’ Shaking her head wildly, she blows her nose on a tissue and sits down beside me.
‘I’m not proud of what I did, Clara, but I was not a prostitute. I never slept with anyone for money. I was young and foolish, but that is all. I fell in love with Owen the second that I met him.’ She looks down at her huge rock and smiles fondly. ‘He loved me for me and never once judged me.’
I squint my eyes suspiciously and shake my head. ‘Gwen’s take on things was a little different…’
‘Gwen hated me the second that she laid eyes on me. Nothing I did was good enough. No matter how hard I tried to make her see that I wasn’t what she thought I was, Gwen wouldn’t give me the time of day. After a while I gave up. You can’t force people to like you. Believe me, I learnt that the hard way.’
‘What about Tamara?’ I ask, not wanting to look directly at her. ‘No one deserves to be cheated on, Eve. I really can’t believe that you would do that.’
‘Tamara’s husband came on to me!’ Throwing her arms in the air, Eve looks truly exasperated. ‘He cornered me in the kitchen and offered me cash to sleep with him.’ Her bottom lip crumples as she recalls the memory. ‘He was filthy drunk, the way he leered at me made my skin crawl. For hours I ignored him, I tried my best to keep out of his way, but he caught up with me in the kitchen. He pinned me against the sink and offered me a thousand pounds to sleep with him.’ A tear slips down her cheek and she wipes it away discreetly. ‘That’s when Gwen and Tamara walked in. Of course I tried to protest my innocence, but they practically threw me out onto the street. Apparently Tamara’s perfect husband would never do something so despicable.’
I exhale slowly and rub my throbbing temples before taking her hand in mine. ‘It’s OK. I believe you.’ And the crazy thing is, I really do believe her, I just have no idea what to do about it.
‘I didn’t come from the best background, Clara. I did what I had to do to survive. Spring Oak was supposed to be a fresh start for me. A place where I could become the person that I was destined to be. The truth is, I think I was happier before I moved here. Let’s face it, if it wasn’t the whole escort thing it would have been something else. You should hear the way they talk about people. They cast people out of their circle at the drop of a hat. I was never going to be good enough for these women.’
A dawning realisation sweeps over me as I nod in response. This is a feeling that I have come to know all too well over the past couple of weeks.
‘I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you, Clara. I really am. I just didn’t want to lose you.’ Tears spill down her cheeks and she lets out an almighty sob.
My bottom lip starts to wobble as I throw my arms around her neck. ‘Don’t you be sorry. I’m the one who should be sorry. I should never have believed those things. I should have come to you straight away…’
The other four puppies jump onto the sofa and shower the two of us in kisses. Bursting into laughter, I hand Eve a tissue before wiping my own eyes.
‘Can we just go back to the way things were?’ She asks, dabbing at her now ruined makeup. ‘I want to forget this whole thing ever happened.’
‘It’s already forgotten.’ I flash her a wink which she returns with a smile. ‘Now, is there any chance of getting a coffee around here or do you charge extra for that?’
Eve lets out a snort and slaps my leg playfully before heading into the kitchen. Watching her play with the puppies as the coffee machine fires into action, I curse myself for listening to idle village gossip. If these past couple of weeks have taught me anything, it’s that true friends are hard to find. I can’t believe that I nearly lost one over a such a silly misunderstanding.
My mother once told me that your life doesn’t need to be perfect in order for you to be happy. You just need to decide to overlook the imperfections and accept things for what they are. Ever since I found out that we were expecting Noah, I tried my best to make sure that everything was exactly as it should be. I just failed to stop for a moment to think if we actually needed any of it to be happy.
Isn’t it funny how you can create a picture of the perfect life in your mind and once you achieve it, you realise that you were happy all along…
Don’t change yourself in order to make people like you.
Be yourself and the right people will…
Chapter 23
Slipping on Noah’s booties, I smooth down his hair and smile in satisfaction. I have the cutest baby in the whole world. He really is that cute. Wearing a Batman themed romper suit complete with hat, he looks every inch the little superhero. Plucking him from his Moses basket, I plant a kiss on his nose and feel my heart leap as his face creases into a smile. What did I ever do without him?
Letting out a yawn, I glance around the room and give it a final check over. With Marc and Gina due to arrive any minute now, it has been all hands on deck to ensure that everything is ready. My mum and Janie have been frantically making finger sandwiches in the kitchen whilst my dad and Randy put the finishing touches to the bunting on the front lawn. With it being almost a year since I last saw them, I really wanted to give them a big homecoming party. Don’t get me wrong, I know this is just a flying visit, but it never hurts to show people how much you care about them, does it?
The sun is casting a shadow over the garden, making the lane look even more beautiful than usual. Wandering over to the patio doors, I smile as I take in the garden that I have grown to know and love. In a strange kind of way, knowing that we might be leaving it behind makes me love it even more. Just as I am about to step outside, my mobile phone pings from the coffee table. Placing Noah into his car seat, I take a deep breath and pick up the handset. Despite my apologetic text message yesterday, I still haven’t heard from Lianna. No phone call, no voice message, not even a feeble tweet in response. Jabbing at the flashing icon, my heart sinks as I realise that it isn’t her. For a second I consider calling her, but what would I say? Everything that needed to be said was sent in the text message that she received at 3.47pm yesterday afternoon. Not that I have been counting or anything.
Noticing that Noah is preoccupied with his feet, I take the opportunity to pop into the kitchen and see how the food is coming along. To my surprise, they have really pulled it out of the bag. Every work surface is covered in platters, bowels and serving trays. A selection of bread rolls, rice dishes, salads and cakes wait patiently for the party to get started. My stomach rumbles as I eye up a plate of nachos that are dripping in guacamole and cheese. Janie might not be winning chef of the year any time soon, but her Tex-Mex treats are incredible to say the least.
‘Well done guys, this looks fantastic!’ I smile appreciatively and sneak a nacho from the top of the pile.
‘You think?’ Janie asks, pulling a lipstick out of her bra and topping up her already pink pout.
‘I do. Thank you both so much for all your help.’ I throw my arms around the pair of them and squeeze tightly.
‘Do you think we have done enough food?’ My mother asks, wiggling out of my grip. ‘How many do you have coming?’
‘Well, there’s the six of us, three or four people from Suave, Owen and Eve might pop in…’ I do a mental calculation and decide that we should be fine. ‘I think we’re good.’
I am about to pinch another nacho when Oliver pops his head into the kitchen.
‘They’re here!’ His eyes glint with excitement as we shuffle out of the kitchen and strain our heads to get the first look at our guests.
Picking up Noah, I quickly check my reflection in the mirror as a barrage of laughter spills into the house. From my position behind the gathering of people, I can just about make out the top of Marc’s head. A frisson of adrenaline washes over me as I hear his familiar voice.
‘Argh!’ Janie squeals like a piglet as a leopard print jumpsuit steps into view. ‘Gina! Look at you!’ My mum gasps and throws her arms around Gina’s neck.
Look at what? I can’t see anything! Standing on my tip toes, I strain my neck to get a glimpse of our highly anticipated visitors. So far, all I have seen is the top of Marc’s head, Gina’s outfit and two very small, very brown pairs of legs.
‘Where’s the little guy?’ Finally, Marc squeezes his way through the crowd of people and smiles broadly.
The sight of my dear friend makes my bottom lip wobble automatically. His skin may be darker, his hair may be longer and he may be sporting a rather hilarious goatee, but he still looks exactly the same.
‘Hey, Andrews.’ Ruffling up my hair, Marc gives my shoulder a squeeze and pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
Not wanting to burst into tears, I bite my lip and nod in response as he carefully takes Noah out of my arms. ‘I’m guessing that you’re the little man I’ve travelled ten thousand miles to see.’
Seeing the two of them together makes me swell with pride. I can’t quite believe that this is the first time they are meeting. Noah blows bubbles and stares at Marc with huge eyes before scrunching his hands up into little fists. Experience tells me that he either likes Marc a lot or he is filling his nappy, one or the other.