by T. A. Roth
They finally stop ribbing me about Ben. I stay for dinner and hang out till the early evening. “I’m gonna head home before it gets too late.” I announce, grabbing my purse and heading for the door.
“Okay, mija. Call us when you get home. Your dad and I worry about you going to the apartment alone.”
“I’ll be okay; I’ll call you when I get there.”
“Hey, keep us posted on the hot boyfriend,” Alba yells out from the living room. I kiss my mom and dad and make a run for it before they start up again.
BEN
I pull away from her apartment and head home. This is the first time I’ve had to make myself leave a girl. It’s the weirdest feeling. I’m usually figuring out my escape routes before I’m done. Today she had to practically kick me out.
I pull up to the front of the fraternity house, and Paul is making his way toward his car. I park and look down at my phone. I have a few missed calls from Nana. Shit! She usually calls me on Sundays after church. I have three text messages from Maria. Ugh! That’s a talk I’m not looking forward to. I’m getting out of my car as Paul is getting into his.
“Hey bro, what’s up? You okay? We were worried you didn’t come back.” I laugh.
“I didn’t know I had to check in,” I say playfully.
“Nah, bro. Maria came sniffing around last night and said you weren’t answering her texts. She seemed worried.” Fuck.
“Thanks for the heads up. I’ll handle it.”
“It’s cool. Glad you’re okay. See you later.”
He’s right; it’s not like me to disappear like that. I hadn’t realized exactly twenty-four hours have passed since I left for my date with Ari. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going, and I always answer Maria’s texts, even if it’s just a one-word response. It’s no wonder they were worried. I’m walking up to the house when my phone dings. It’s another text from Maria.
Maria: Are you home yet? I’m worried. Why haven’t you answered me?
She’s not my mother or my girlfriend. I’ve let this situation get out of hand; I’ll deal with her later. I click out of my messages and call Nana.
“Hello.”
“Hi, Nana.”
“Aye mijo, I was wondering what happened to you.” She sounds relieved.
“I’m sorry. I was at a friend’s house, and I didn’t hear my phone.”
“At a friend’s? So early in the morning? Was it a girl?” She knows how I am. She feigns ignorance, but she’s not stupid. I’ve never brought a girl to meet her, but she’s always so hopeful and for once I’m actually excited about telling her about someone. The thought scares me and I almost chicken out.
I wasn’t lying to Ari when I told her that I wanted something more. It doesn’t mean the thought doesn’t scare the shit out of me. What if I fuck this up? If I tell my grandmother, I won’t be able to take it back. She’ll want to meet her. It will make this real, and I’ll be held accountable.
“Hello?” She snaps me out of my train of thought.
“Oh . . . sorry Nana. Yeah, it was a girl.” She gasps.
“Really, mijo? You met someone?” Her voice is full of excitement.
“Okay, calm down. Don’t book the church. But, yes, I met someone.” I leave her speechless for a minute.
“I never thought I’d see the day. So tell me about her. How did you meet? What’s her name?” I can feel her excitement radiating through the phone. I like making her happy.
“We met on Friday. She came to a party we had at the house on Thursday night. I go to school with her best friend. Anyway, she introduced us. Her name is Ari.”
“Ari?”
“Yes, short for Arely.”
“That’s a beautiful name, mijo. So, she doesn’t go to school with you?” Her cheerful voice changes to one of apprehension. She’s never been one to act above anyone else, but she knows that having money can sometimes attract a certain person. She worries.
“No, Nana. She works full time as a legal assistant.”
“So, will I get to meet her?”
“Of course, but it’s new and I don’t want to scare her off by introducing her to family just yet. Give me a couple weeks.”
“Oh mijo, I’m so excited. You sound happy. I hope everything works out and that you’ll bring her over to meet me.”
“I will, Nana. She’s different. She makes me want to be different, too.”
“I love her already. It’s about time you meet a nice girl.”
I laugh. “Okay, well I just got home. I’m gonna get settled in. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Okay, mijo. Be careful. I love you.”
“I love you, too. Bye.”
I take a shower, clean up my room, and do the basic Sunday bullshit I normally do to get ready for the week. I’m on Spring Break so I don’t have to worry about school for a few days which is nice, but I can really use the distraction right now. I can’t stop thinking about her. I don’t really talk to anyone about girls except Eli. It’s been years since I’ve asked him for advice. I know he’ll give me shit, but I need to talk to someone. Screw it. I dial his number.
“Hey dude, what’s up?” he answers.
“Nothing, you busy?”
“Nah, just hanging out. How’s your girl?”
I laugh. “Kind of what I’m calling about.”
“Okay. So, what’s going on?” I rub my hand on the back of my neck and pace the floor of my bedroom.
“I don’t know, man. She’s different. I just got home from spending the night at her house. We spent all day yesterday together. You know me; I never do this. I can’t stop thinking about her.” His silence makes me nervous.
“I’ll kick your ass if you repeat what I just told you.”
“No dude, I’m just . . . No girl has ever gotten under your skin. I’m shocked.” He’s right. I keep them all at arm’s length. Maria is the only one who I’ve allowed to make a repeat appearance, and even then, she’s in the same category.
“I know. It’s fucking with my head, bro.”
“So, what are you going to do? How did you leave things?”
“Well, I told her that I wanted more. She didn’t believe me, of course. Vonne knows me, has seen me in action, and she knows all about it.”
“Shit, that’s right. So?” he asks.
“So she told me that she had more fun than she wanted to admit but not to make her any promises. I told her I wanted more.”
“She knows you’re a fucking player, and she didn’t say she wouldn’t give you a chance so that’s good, right?”
His statement stings a little. “I’ve never done this. I don’t want to fuck it up.”
“Okay. Well, don’t. It’s as easy as that.”
“Thanks. Why didn’t I think of that, genius?” I reply sarcastically.
“Look dude, I’m just saying you can’t keep using the same excuse to not get close to someone. Stop comparing everyone to your mom. Ari seems cool. Give her a chance. But first, shut down all the others. Like now.”
“I plan on it. The only one who’s going to give me any problems is Maria. She was texting me last night, and she showed up at the house looking for me. She’s been getting a little ‘fatal’ lately. I should have cut her off a long time ago.”
“I don’t envy you, man. The chick is hot, but she’s a little scary.”
“You’re telling me. It’s probably why I’ve let her hang around for so long. I didn’t want to deal with the drama.”
“I get it.”
“So, you and Vonne looked like you hit it off. What’s up with that?” I ask changing the subject.
“Yeah, she’s cool. We exchanged numbers. We’ve texted back and forth the last couple of days. I don’t know, we’ll see.” He’s always so damn vague.
“Cool. Well listen, I don’t want to keep you. Sorry to unload, but thanks for listening.”
“Of course, man, anytime. You know that.”
“Thanks, dude. Talk to you soon.”
/> “Cool. Later.”
It’s early evening, and I’ve been staring at my phone since I hung up with Eli. I’m not in the mood to deal with Maria tonight. She’ll ruin the high that I’m on. I decide to stop acting like a chick and scroll through Netflix. I put on the last season of Breaking Bad and zone out. I’m halfway through the fourth episode when a soft knock breaks me out of my tunnel vision.
“Who is it?” I bark out.
“Maria.” Fuck.
I open the door and her presence fills the door frame. Her stormy gray eyes meet mine, and she’s definitely not happy. Normally, having her fired up would turn me on. I’d have her flat on her back in a nanosecond. Today I’m just bored. I could feel a tantrum ready to ensue.
“What’s up?” I ask.
“What do you mean, what’s up? I’ve been texting you since last night,” she says storming past me. “You weren’t here when I came over. I texted you this morning, and you still haven’t responded. I just wanted to see if you were alive.”
“Well, I am. We good?” I say waving my hand toward the still open door.
“What the fuck? No, we’re not good. Where were you?” she says in a raised voice. It’s starting to piss me off.
“Look, we’ve had this conversation already. You and I FUCK. Nothing else. I don’t have to answer to you, just like I don’t expect you to answer to me.” She gasps. Her eyes are wide like I just slapped her.
“I know what we are. We’ve been FUCKING for two years now. So sue me if I worry about you.”
I really don’t want to be an asshole, but there is no way to come out of this situation any other way. I made my bed, and now I have to lie in it. If I want any chance at something real with Ari, I’m going to have to just rip off the Band-Aid. I take a deep breath.
“I’m sorry you were worried. I’m fine, it got late, and I decided to stay at a friend’s.” I hear myself talking, and I’m trying to get to the point. She’s waiting with bated breath; she knows it’s coming.
“I can’t do this anymore.” I wave my hand between us. ”It hasn’t been fair for either of us. I care about you, but it’s never going to be anything more than what it’s been.” I look up and her eyes are glossy and she’s biting her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. She swats at a stray tear and straightens her shoulders.
“Who is she?”
“What?”
“You heard me. Is it Vonne’s friend?” I narrow my eyes at her, and she laughs sarcastically. “Oh, you didn’t think I noticed you watching her the other night like some stalker in the corner.”
She’s baiting me.
“Seriously? You’re going to take a step down? She’s fucking plain. She’s not even your type.”
And I bite; she pushed the wrong button.
“You don’t know anything about her so I suggest you shut the hell up.”
“Or what?” she challenges. My fists clench and my nails begin to dig into my palms.
“Just go, Maria,” I say calmly. “I’ve said my peace. If you can’t accept it, then it’s your problem not mine. Stop calling me, stop texting me, and stop coming over. We’re done.”
“FINE!” She turns on her heel and walks toward the door. “Don’t come crawling back to me when you get bored doing it missionary with your new girlfriend. ASSHOLE.”
I slam the door in her face. “Don’t worry, I won’t,” I yell back.
I’m walking toward my bed when my phone starts ringing. I’m so pissed that I don’t even bother looking at the screen before barking out my greeting.
“HELLO?”
ARI
I DECIDE TO TAKE THE streets home. I need the drive to clear my thoughts. I keep replaying the conversations with Ben, Vonne, and my sisters. I want to believe him. I want to let my guard down enough to get close. I never let guys get close. He’s different, and he makes me want to try. I’m singing along to Taylor Swift’s “Everything Has Changed” on the radio, and each verse reminds me of him.
I take a chance for once and pick up the phone and dial his number. I need to hear his voice.
“HELLO,” he shouts into the phone, almost making me pull out my Bluetooth.
“Ben?”
“Ari?” His tone softens.
“Yeah, it’s me. Sorry, did I catch you at a bad time? I . . . uh . . . I know you told me to text you when I got home, but it was getting late.”
He sighs. ”I’m so sorry, babe. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Cue the butterflies. “It’s fine. I’d hoped you’d call.” I’m glad he’s happy to hear from me, but that still doesn’t explain the way he just answered the phone.
“You sounded upset. Are you sure everything is okay?” I can hear him take a deep breath, almost contemplating whether or not to tell me.
“You can tell me,” I assure him.
“I want you to trust me, Ari. Which means I’m always going tell you the truth.”
“Okay.” I sit up straight gripping the steering wheel.
“Maria came by.”
Whoosh. I feel the air leave my lungs. Not even twenty-four hours, and he already moved on to the next one. I’m such a fucking idiot.
“Cool. Listen, I was just calling before it got too late. I’ll let you go.” I’m fuming.
“NO. Wait, it’s not what you’re thinking,” he says.
I try to keep my voice steady and indifferent. He doesn’t owe me any explanations. He didn’t make me any promises. I didn’t let him, for this exact reason.
“Look, Ben, I told you this morning it was fun. You don’t owe me any explanations. It’s cool.”
“NO, IT’S NOT COOL,” he says frustrated.
“Okay fine, tell me.”
He lets out a long breath. ”She texted a few times last night and came by the house looking for me.” My hands are shaking, and I want to punch something.
“Uh-huh.” I’m too angry to respond with actual words.
“She texted again this morning, and when I didn’t answer any of them, she decided to come by to check on me.”
“Why didn’t you answer any of them?”
“I didn’t want to. I told you, I don’t owe her anything. It wasn’t like that between us.” I really don’t want to have a visual of the way it actually was, so I urge him to finish his thought.
“So?”
“So, she stopped by with the excuse that she was worried about me. She didn’t like my response to her questions, and I asked her to leave. I also asked her to never call, text, or come over again. It’s over, Ari.” I can’t breathe.
“Hello? Ari? You there?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m here. I’m just . . . I mean, what do you want me to say?”
“You don’t have to say anything. I just want you to know that I was serious about what I said this morning. I want to see where this goes, and we can’t do that if you’re thinking that I’m still hooking up with other girls. I’m not. I won’t.” He’s rendered me speechless.
“You’ve ruined me for anyone else anyway.” His voice is low and gravelly now. That familiar ache is back.
“So, are we okay?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I answer back.
“Good, so when can I see you again? Tonight?” His voice is hopeful.
“It’s almost ten, and I have to work tomorrow.” I want to say yes, but I know damn well I won’t get any sleep.
“Fine. What about tomorrow?”
“I’m off at five and usually get home by six. We can do something then.”
“I can’t wait that long. Can I meet you for lunch then take you to dinner.” My stupid grin is back.
“Lunch sounds good. Dinner, too.”
“Good. You almost home? What took so long?”
“Yeah, I’m a few minutes away. I felt like driving so I took the streets.”
“Okay, I’ll stay on the phone till you get there.”
“I’m parking now.”
“I’ll shut up so you can concentrate. It’s well lit, right? Don’t park
in a dark area.”
“I’m fine, and yes, it’s well lit. I’m walking up to my apartment now.”
“What are you wearing?”
I laugh. “Seriously?”
“You’ve got to give me something if you’re not going to let me come over.”
“I have a skirt and a tank top on.”
“Hmmm . . . Is it a short skirt?” Thank God, he can’t see me because I’m flushed.
“No, perv, it’s not.”
“Damn. Well, in my head, it’s a short skirt, and you’re not wearing any underwear. Your tits are straining against your white tank top, and I could see your tight nipples.” I swear he can make me come just by talking with that dirty mouth. I decide to play along.
“So, are you going to help me get out of my very short skirt and tank top,” I purr into the phone.
BEN
“Aww fuck, Ari.” I didn’t think she’d play along. But hearing her voice get all low and raspy makes me want to jump in my car and haul ass down to her apartment. I hear a door shut.
“Are you inside yet?”
“Yeah, I’m walking toward my bedroom.” Her voice is almost a whisper. I can still smell her sweet skin and taste her in my mouth.
“Will you do something for me?”
“What?” she whispers.
“Put me on speaker; you’re going to need your hands.” I hear her fumble with the phone a little.
“Okay,” she answers sounding a little further away.
“I want you to undress for me. I’ll tell you what to take off. Can you do that for me?”
“Yes,” she replies shakily.
“Good. I want you to slide your skirt over that sweet ass of yours and let it pool at your feet. You’re not wearing panties, are you?”
“No.”
“Mmmm . . . good girl. I want you to grab the hem of that tight tank top and slowly pull it over your head. I want those perfect tits of yours free so I can lick them. I know you like it.”
“Ben . . .” She moans into the phone, making my cock stand at attention. The thought of her standing naked in her room is driving me fucking crazy. I close my eyes and undo my zipper. My cock springs out, and I start to stroke it slowly.
“Okay, it’s off,” she says.
“I want you to lie on your bed and spread your legs for me.” I hear her take a few steps.