Say Something...

by T. A. Roth

  “Ben?”

  “Yeah, baby?”

  “Are you touching yourself?”

  “Do you want me to?”

  “Yes,” she whispers.

  “Okay. But I need you to slide your hands slowly over your body. I want you to imagine they’re my hands. Can you do that for me?”

  “Mhmm . . .”

  “Good. I want you to start over your perfect tits.”

  “Yes,” she moans, making me stroke a little harder.

  “Play with your nipples. I know their nice and tight for me. I wish I was there to wrap my lips around them.”

  “Oh, God.”

  “Hmm . . . That’s it. Are you wet for me, Ari? I know you are. Always ready for me huh, baby?”

  “Y . . . yes,” she hisses.

  “Slide your fingers into your wet pussy for me, Ari.”

  “Ben . . . oh, God . . . Ben . . .”

  “Fuck . . . Use your thumb and rub your clit for me. Don’t stop.”

  “It feels so good . . . I want you in me so bad.” I’m losing my resolve. I don’t want to come before she does, but I’m so close.

  “Are you almost there, baby?” I say panting.

  “Yes . . . I’m so close . . . I’m so close, Ben.”

  “I’m so hard for you, baby. I’d be buried in that sweet pussy if I was there.”

  “Ben . . . Ben . . . oh God . . . mmmm.” Three pumps and I follow right behind her.

  “Mmmmm . . . Fuck, Ari.” I lie still, trying to steady my breathing. I can hear her soft pants on the other line. My heart is racing.

  “You there?” I manage to rasp out.

  “Yeah,” she pants out then laughs nervously. ”I’ve never done that before.”

  A grin spreads across my face. “I wish I was there. I missed you today.” I sound like a pathetic fool. Fuck it. I’m crazy for this girl; she might as well know how much. She’s quiet.

  “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry,” I whisper.

  “Don’t be. It’s just. It’s just going to take me a minute.” I could hear the hesitation in her voice.

  “I want this to work, Ari.” She stays silent for a few seconds.

  “Okay. I . . . um I should get ready for bed. I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” she asks.

  “Yeah,” I answer quickly.

  “Okay, I have lunch around 12:30pm. I’ll text you the info.” I can hear the smile in her voice.

  “I can’t wait. I’ll see you tomorrow then. Have a good night, Ari.”

  “You, too.” We stay on the line for a few seconds. Like two teenagers waiting for the other to hang up first. “Night, babe,” I rasp out.

  “Night.”

  ARI

  It’s the middle of summer, and I’m layering myself with a long sleeve shirt and sweater. Mom’s looking at me like I’m crazy. She doesn’t understand it’s my armor against him. The less skin I have exposed, the better. He gets off on it. I see the way he looks at me when I have shorts on or a tank top. It makes my skin crawl. I don’t want her to know. We’re by ourselves when he’s here. What if he does something to her or to my sisters. I can do this. I can be a big girl. I sit on the bench and play the first song. I’ve been practicing every day. When I do well, he keeps his hands to himself. He only touches me when I mess up. To comfort me. He thinks it helps. I want to throw up. The back rubs. His hand on my knee. He’s getting brave. I see him put his hand on his privates sometimes. Just for a few seconds, he doesn’t think I see him, but I do. I want to tell Daddy, but I’m scared. I keep playing. Please don’t mess up. I need to be a big girl . . .

  The alarm wakes me up this time. I’m covered in sweat, and I’m trembling. I wipe my forehead with the back of my hand. I concentrate on a spot on the ceiling and try to slow my breathing. I haven’t thought about him in years because I put those thoughts in a box and buried them deep. It took years for me to relax around boys. I was never like other girls. I didn’t want their attention, it made me nervous. I didn’t want to see that look in their eyes. The same look he used to give me—full of lust. That look was meant for a woman, not a seven-year-old girl. I didn’t understand that look then. I understand it now and have struggled with the feelings it brings for years.

  Ben makes me forget. He makes me forget that little girl inside who struggles to be a woman. With Rudy, I just numbed my feelings. I wanted so badly to be normal. I was tired of being scared, of not doing what other girls my age gave away so freely. Ben is making it okay to feel—to want—but I’m still scared.

  Only now, I’m scared for another reason.

  I’m falling too fast. He has the power to break me.

  I lie on my bed for a few more minutes trying to shake away this flash of my life that happened so many years ago. I get in the shower, blast my iPod, and decide that today is going to be a good day. I take my time, letting the warm water wash away my bad thoughts. I stand in my closet and pick out my favorite pencil skirt and sheer white button up blouse. I sweep my hair up in a topknot and do a winged eye and berry lip. I look in the mirror and smile. I hope that Ben appreciates my nod to the naughty secretary. I slip on my black Mary Jane heels and head out the door.

  I get to work a few minutes early; traffic in L.A. is always light when the schools are on break. I say a quick hello to my coworkers and notice their double takes. They probably think I’ve lost my damn mind because I never put this much effort into my daily wardrobe. I hope they don’t think I’m interviewing for another firm.

  I shrug it off and head to the kitchen for my morning coffee. Hilda, the other firm’s office assistant, is already preparing hers. She turns around, her mug in hand, and whistles low. “Well, look at you, honey. Hot date?”

  I shake my head and blush. “Just a lunch thing.”

  “Good for you. When he sees you in that outfit, you might not make it back.” She gives me a wink and heads back to her desk. I’m starting to rethink this outfit.

  I dive into the stack of work on my desk. My bosses are in court all week so I’m up to my eyeballs in photocopying, transcription, and filing. I’m churning stuff out like a machine when I hear the faint buzz of my cell phone. I take it out of my desk drawer, and it’s a text from Ben.

  Ben: GM. I can’t wait for lunch. What time should I pick you up?

  My stomach rumbles, and I realize the granola bar and coffee didn’t do it for me. I’m starving and anxious to see him. I respond back with the address and tell him that I’ll meet him out front in an hour.

  BEN

  I pull up to Ari’s office a few minutes early and double park. I text her to let her know I’m here. I hit send and look toward the revolving doors. A small group comes out of the building, and it takes me a few seconds to spot her. Holy shit . . . All I see is a pair of long legs wrapped up in a skirt accentuating all of those hot curves. She looks like every guys’ wet dream. How in the hell am I expected to concentrate on lunch when she looks like that? I’m staring at her like an idiot when she slides into the passenger seat.

  “Hey,” she says in her sweet voice. I drink her in, my mouth still agape, and she laughs.

  “You okay over there?” she asks and leans in to kiss my cheek.

  “Are you trying to give your boss a heart attack? How old is he anyway? He better be old and married.” She breaks out into a fit of giggles.

  “Are you going to let me answer or are you gonna keep shooting questions at me?” I playfully narrow my eyes at her waiting for an answer. ”My bosses are not in the office today. They are both old enough to be my dad, and they’re happily married. Can we go now? I’m hungry.” I shake my head and kiss her desperately. Fuck, I missed her.

  She pulls back and smiles. “You’re going to get a ticket. We should get out of here.”

  “Where to?”

  “Urth Caffe, it’s about ten minutes away. Pull out here and go straight.” I pull away from the curb and slide my hand into hers, giving it a quick squeeze.

  “So, how’s your da
y so far? Busy?”

  “Yeah, I usually have stacks of stuff to go through when they’re in court. You? How are you enjoying your vacation?”

  “Better now.” She looks over and smiles.

  We pull up to small restaurant and valet the car. She grabs us a table while I place our order. She waits for me, oblivious to all the gawking bastards walking in. This feeling sucks. I’m not a jealous guy, but she’s quickly uncovering that part of me. I grab our drinks and head over to the table.

  “So I meant to ask you how it went at your parents’ last night, but I got a little distracted.”

  She grins and takes a drink of her lemonade. That beautiful shade of pink fills her cheeks. “It was good.”

  “Just good? Did you tell them about me?” I ask. She smiles and looks away from me.

  “Well, seeing as I couldn’t wipe the stupid grin off my face when my mom gave me her usual Sunday inquisition. Yes.”

  “Couldn’t stop thinking about me, huh?”

  “Shut up. What about you? How was your Sunday afternoon?

  “I tried to keep myself busy with my regular Sunday routine. I spoke to my nana and Eli then watched a marathon of Breaking Bad.”

  “Sounds like you were a busy guy. So, did you tell your nana about me?” I clear my throat.

  “Actually, I did.” She looks up from the table a little wide-eyed. “When I didn’t answer her regular Sunday morning call, she asked where I was. I told her I was with a friend. She assumed it was a girlfriend, and I didn’t correct her. I told her all about you.” I reach across the table and place a hand over hers. “She wants to meet you if that’s okay?”

  She nods. “Of course. I would love to meet her.”

  “Good.”

  Our food comes and we spend the rest of the hour talking. She tells me more about the ribbing her sisters gave her and how her dad thought he heard a guy in the background. I love how shy she gets when talking about it. We walk back over to the valet where I hand the guy the ticket and pay.

  “Thanks for lunch,” she says.

  “My pleasure. I’m glad you let me take you.” We drive back to her office, and I double park once again.

  “So, I’ll see you later?” she asks as she opens the door.

  “You’ll see me tonight. You’ll be home by six?” She bites that juicy bottom lip of hers and nods. It takes all my resolve not to reach over, shut the door, and drive us somewhere more private.

  “Okay, I’ll see you tonight then.” She stares at my lips for a beat. I lean in, and she plants a scorching kiss on my lips.

  ARI

  I was trying not to drool like an idiot during lunch. It has to be a sin to be that hot. I know it’s superficial, and I should get to know him. I am. But is it wrong to admire the wrapping? I want his lips on mine all day long. I tried to get out of the car without attacking him like some animal, but I couldn’t help it. Sitting in the car with the scent of his cologne and just manly goodness got me all riled up. I needed something to tide me over till I saw him tonight.

  I pull away from his lips and rest my forehead on his. His eyes are closed, and he’s trying to slow his breathing.

  “Thanks again,” I whisper across his lips.

  I’m glad to see him so affected and to know that the feelings I’m having are not one-sided. He opens his eyes and grins.

  “Go inside before I park the car and drag your ass into my backseat.” I smile, give him one last quick kiss, and get out of the car.

  I make a mad dash to the ladies’ room to make sure I don’t look like the Joker from Batman. Luckily, I wiped most of my lipstick off during lunch. I do a quick touch-up and go back to the office.

  Hilda is standing by my desk with her arms crossed and an eyebrow cocked.

  “So who was that hot piece of man candy that I just saw dropping you off?” she says in her Southern drawl. I feel my face flush and grin nervously.

  She’s worked at the office for about six months, and we hit it off immediately. She’s thirty, married with two kids, and moved here from Texas last year. She’s been dying for me to date someone. She says it’s so she can live vicariously through me. Too bad I’m not your typical twenty-two-year-old.

  “He’s just a friend?”

  “You kiss all your friends like that, honey?” Okay, my face is on fire now.

  “If it makes you feel any better, I’d have my lips surgically planted onto my husband’s if he looked like that.” She spares me the awkward conversation, winks, and walks back to her desk.

  I put in my earbuds, needing the distraction to get through the rest of the pile sitting on my desk. The rest of the day goes by in a flash. I shut off my computer, make a small stack of files that need finishing tomorrow, and head out.

  I’m waiting for the elevator when Hilda walks out of the office. She smiles.

  “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you, sugar. I’m just happy to see that you’ve met someone. If you ever need to talk, I’m here, okay?” She gives me a pat on the shoulder.

  “Thanks,” I respond just as the elevator stops at our floor.

  BEN

  That kiss has me all worked up. I head back to the fraternity house and decide to make plans for dinner. If we stay in her apartment for too long, we won’t leave. We need to get to know each other and not just in the physical sense. It’s Monday, so I decide something casual and low key would probably be best after a long day at work.

  I’m walking toward the fraternity house when the front door opens, and Maria walks out. What the fuck? I feel my blood begin to boil but decide to approach her calmly. She’s technically a little sister to the house, and I’m not stupid enough to think that she was exclusive to me. There were rumors that she was hooking up with one of the other brothers in the last couple of months. She’s doing this to try to get a rise out of me. She’s grasping at straws, and I won’t give her the satisfaction. It’s more of an annoyance than anything else.

  “Hey, Ben,” she says with a wicked grin.

  “Hey. I thought I told you to stay away.” She laughs sarcastically.

  “Oh, don’t flatter yourself. You don’t own the house. You can’t forbid me to come over. Anyway, I wasn’t here to see you.”

  “Of course, you weren’t.” I turn away and walk toward the house.

  “Jealous?” she spits out to my retreating form. I step inside not even bothering with a response. I don’t have many regrets, but I have a feeling she will be my biggest.

  I walk up the stairs to my room, and Jake comes out of the hall bathroom. This douche.

  “Hey, man.” He looks a little nervous.

  “Hey, what’s up?”

  “So Maria came by.”

  “Yeah, I just saw her leave.” I know he’s about to tell me that he’s hooking up with her. I almost feel sorry for him. He looks scared shitless.

  “So she mentioned that you cut things off with her and I was just wondering if it was cool if we hung out.”

  “By all means, man. She’s all yours. Good luck.” With that, I walk around him and go to my room. I start up my Netflix and finish watching the Breaking Bad episode that Maria interrupted last night. I must have dozed off because I wake up to the sound of my phone. I jump up and it’s a text from Ari telling me that she’s on her way home. Shit.

  I change my shirt, wash up, and head out.

  I’m pulling up to her apartment and notice that her car is already parked in its spot. I make my way to her front door, and she opens it after a few knocks. Once again, I’m left a drooling idiot.

  “Are you trying to kill me today?” I ask.

  Her wavy hair is lying wildly past her shoulders, and she has on a short black robe. Every inch of those long sexy legs is exposed. She gives me a sexy grin, pulls me inside by my shirt, and plants those juicy lips on me.

  ARI

  I don’t know what comes over me. I opened the door and he filled my doorway looking all hot and sexy and I had to attack. It didn’t help that he was drinking
me in. I pull back before it goes further.

  “Sorry, I got carried away.” He swallows and looks up from under those dark lashes. He flashes those dimples, and I almost attack him again.

  “You don’t ever have to be sorry for doing that.” He pulls me in by my waist and plants another soft kiss on my lips. I can feel his rigid length against my thigh.

  “Okay . . . Okay . . . I know I started this, but if I don’t change, we’ll never get out of here, and I’m really hungry.”

  He sighs. “Fine, you’re right, go change. I promised you dinner. If we keep at it, we won’t eat till breakfast.”

  I shake my head and walk down the hall toward my bedroom. “Stay here.”

  He chuckles. ”Yes, ma’am. I’ll hang out on the couch.”

  I stand in my closet, still a little dizzy from that kiss. I can’t decide what to wear. “What should I wear? Where are we going?” I yell out toward the living room.

  “A wine bar, it’s casual,” he yells back.

  I grab a pair of dark denim jeans, a comfy top that hangs off one shoulder, and my wedges. I leave my hair down, taming the waves a little, reapply some lipstick, and meet him in the living room.

  “Okay, I’m ready. I hope they have food at this wine bar.” He pulls me into his chest and kisses me sweetly on the cheek.

  “I learned my lesson. I won’t let you drink without feeding you first,” he whispers.

  The bar is in Old Town Pasadena just minutes away from my house. I appreciate that our outings are getting me more familiar with the area.

  We step inside and the color of the rich red walls and eclectic décor makes you feel like you’ve just stepped into a restaurant off the cobblestone streets of Spain. Paintings by local artists are displayed. The lights are dim, and small votive candles rest on the tables, giving it a moody vibe. Live flamenco music fills the room.

  “This place is awesome.” He watches me take it all in, squeezing my hand and smiling.

  “I’m glad that you like it.” The hostess takes us to a cozy booth in the corner, giving us a perfect view of the band.

  “So, how did you find this place?”

  “I’ve been here once.” I feel a small pang of jealousy thinking about him bringing another girl here. He tugs at my chin, causing me to meet his eyes.