by A. D. Ryan
But in the weeks following Bobby’s death, everything had changed. Nick had grown more distant from me, always claiming to be busy, until suddenly he packed up his things and left, breaking my heart even more than it already was. It didn’t matter how much I begged him to stay, he simply claimed he needed “space,” that he was going through some “changes,” and how he hoped I would “understand.”
I understood, all right. I understood that I was—still am—beyond damaged after finding my brother dead in an alley. Who the hell would want a piece of that?
“What the hell are you doing here?” I didn’t mean for my question to come across as rude as it sounded—or did I? Regardless, it was too late to take it back.
His smile widened, his shoulders relaxing slightly, probably thinking I wasn’t as angry at him as he feared. Wrong. As he worked on closing the gap between us again, his easy gait reminded me of how he used to be so carefree. I thought I could still see that cocky glimmer I used to love in his eyes, but it disappeared, suddenly replaced with a seriousness that could only come with age and tragedy. I would know.
“Well, I was in town, visiting my folks, when I ran into your mom at the supermarket this morning.”
“She invited you?” I demanded, suddenly angry that my mother would even consider something like that.
Nick shook his head. “No. It just came up in conversation. She has no idea I’m here.”
“Trespassing,” I interjected callously, glancing down at the clear water in the pool. “Typical.”
“I missed you,” he confessed, coming to a stop right in front of me, his head dipping lower and causing his unruly hair to fall over his forehead. I’d forgotten how tall he was at just over six feet, having to tilt my head back to meet his gaze. My eyes remained trained on him, and his lips came perilously close to mine.
And then I slapped him, the sound travelling across the backyard. My hand stung, but Nick’s face hardly moved beneath the force of my blow. An angry red welt started to form on his cheek, but he didn’t look angry. His face remained unreadable, his chiseled jaw clenching while the rest of his prominent features softened. He looked like he understood why I had done it, and that only made me angrier. “I haven’t heard a word from you in almost seven years.” The venom in my tone didn’t deter him, and he reached for my hands—probably to stop me from lashing out again.
“I’m seeing someone,” I managed to choke out, taking a couple steps away from him.
Confusion reflected back at me in his mesmerizing eyes. “Oh? Your mother never mentioned…”
“Because it’s none of your business. It stopped being your business the day you walked away.”
“Brooke?” David’s voice caused me to jump, and I turned toward the patio door. He looked between the two of us, confused at first, and then annoyed. He was the one good thing I had going for me right now, and I cared for him more than I could even imagine. So, to have him find me out here with my ex worried me. Especially after what happened inside. Would he think something was going on? Surely he knew how I felt about him—even if I didn’t want to share our relationship with the rest of the world?
What if he doesn’t? It was that question that made me realize I couldn’t lose him. I couldn’t lose someone else I loved.
I averted my eyes from his as he crossed over to me, staring at everything from the silver moon above to the millions of tiny stars surrounding it, and then down to the recently manicured toes peek-a-booing through the tips of my shoes again. When I felt his hand lay flat against my back, I could sense that he wasn’t angry with me. What I did pick up on, however, was a certain level of possessiveness, and while this wasn’t a characteristic I normally found too appealing, the fact that he was silently challenging Nick was somewhat thrilling.
A smile played at the corners of my mouth, and I looked over at him, even though he never took his narrowing eyes off of his apparent rival. His angular jaw clenched, and it was probably a good thing he had one hand on the small of my back and the other wrapped around the stem of one of my mother’s crystal glasses. On second thought, maybe the glass wasn’t such a good thing; we had been sent out on enough domestic abuse cases to know that anything could be used as a weapon.
“Aren’t you going to introduce us, Brooke?” Nick suggested, his tone of voice changing ever so slightly into one I no longer recognized. It was no longer soft and compelling, but lower and almost territorial. Not that he deserved to feel like he had any say over what I did and who I did it with.
“Oh, um, right.” I uncrossed my arms and wrapped one around David, mirroring his hold on me, hoping to stop the quiver that continued to move through me. “David, this is Nick. He’s an old friend.”
“Friend?” Nick inquired, his voice shifting back to its previous, much lighter sound. “Surely, we were much more than that, Brooke.”
My eyes narrowed, shooting daggers at Nick, and David’s hand pressed harder against my back. I could sense his restraint, and I hated that Nick was trying to get a rise out of David like this. What was worse was that it seemed to be working. While I’m sure it wasn’t Nick’s intention to piss me off further, he’d failed. I squeezed my right hand, testing it to make sure it felt okay enough to slap him again. It did.
I looked at David, and his rising irritation concerned me on a number of levels. Mainly because he was usually so calm and collected—it didn’t seem to matter what was happening, he just was. The only time I’d ever seen him get this upset was when we were out on a call last year and a perp slugged me. David may have used a little more force than was entirely necessary to subdue the son of a bitch.
I rubbed David’s back soothingly and rested my other hand on his chest, feeling his heart pound violently beneath my touch. Knowing I needed to calm him down, I glared at Nick and spoke with a seething hatred that still burned through my veins from his total abandonment. “That was a long time ago, Nick.” He glanced down at me briefly before retraining his steely gaze on David. “You should probably just do what you do best and go.”
Nick’s eyes sparkled with the knowledge that he was getting under David’s skin. “You’re right. Maybe I should have called first.”
I flinched as his words struck an exposed nerve that I thought had been severed long ago. By the time I found my voice again, he was already hopping the fence into the neighbor’s yard, probably afraid to announce his party-crashing ways to my parents.
A very large part of me didn’t want to let him get away with just showing up here, but I made it all of two steps before David’s hand gripped my wrist and pulled me back to him. He lead me into the cover of darkness and pressed my back to the side of the house as his lips met mine in a kiss that was filled with so much need it made my knees shake.
Nick was forgotten as David’s arms snaked around my waist, his hands moving down to cup my ass as I wrapped mine around his neck. Goosebumps rippled over my body as I stepped up onto my toes to bring myself closer to his height. I held him as close to me as possible, moaning into the kiss and pushing my body against his, feeling his growing arousal against my thigh.
I knew that he needed me to assure him that I was his completely—that nothing on this Earth would take me away from him. I yearned for the same thing. Tears of regret mixed with those from being emotionally overwhelmed started burning behind my closed eyes as David and I passionately embraced on the dark patio. Since David made no secret about the way he felt about me, I knew that I had to take the next step in our relationship. For him. For both of us. He’d given me so much already, and I had done nothing but take.
Even though I really didn’t want to, I found a reserve of strength and broke our kiss. Feeling a little light-headed, I had to take a minute to catch my breath as David gripped my hips, his thumbs delightfully pressing into the soft flesh above my hipbones. This sent tiny shockwaves through my lower body that settled between my thighs, and I found it hard to focus.
Licking my lips, I opened my eyes and looked up at
him through my thick, dark lashes. His blue eyes appeared dark with lust as they danced between mine and my tingling mouth, and it filled me with joy on a day that usually brought me such despair. It was another welcome relief. I loved him so much. This was the perfect moment to prove it.
“I can’t lose you,” I confessed softly. “You’re far too important to me.”
Anger flared in David’s eyes. “What that Neanderthal did—leaving you?—I would never do that.” I nodded my understanding, but still held my doubts. “I love you, Brooke.”
I knew he meant it; it was obvious in the way he acted around me daily. The fight to keep my tears at bay was lost the moment I closed my eyes, and I was angry that I let Nick’s unexpected visit affect me like this. They rolled down my cheeks as I turned my face into his hand and kissed the palm of it. “I…love you, too,” I confessed honestly into the warmth of his touch before turning and meeting his blazing stare. “And I want to tell everyone.”
David’s eyes widened with surprise, his happiness pouring off of him. “Really?” I nodded, and he wrapped his arms around me, picking me up off the ground and spinning us around.
I laughed loudly and, in that moment, forgot the horrible memories that today brought with it. This was huge for me. When David set me back on my feet, he kissed me so hard, I got a little weak in the knees and had to clutch the front of his jacket to help keep my balance.
“Take me home?” I pleaded when he pulled away, wanting desperately for the two of us to be alone and pick up where we left off.
David chuckled, leaning down to kiss the tip of my nose. “Sweetheart, the night is still young, and your parents kind of have a whole evening planned.”
It didn’t take me long to realize that we hadn’t really been here that long—regardless of the fact that time seemed to be dragging—and I laughed lightly at myself. “I guess it just feels like today’s already gone on long enough.”
David pulled me toward the house, and I stopped before reaching the door. “You ready?”
“Are you?” he replied back. “If you’d prefer to wait…”
I shook my head hard. “No. I want to do this. Like you said, it’s been two years. Besides, I figure my parents would love for this day to hold happy memories. Let’s go make that happen.”
With a smile that could light up a starless night, David pulled me against his side and pressed his lips to mine once more. “As you wish, sweetheart.”
Chapter three | truth
Even with the unexpected and joyous turn that last night took, Nick showing up at my party and reawakening that period of my life cut deeply. How did he not realize the possibility of that happening? As if it wasn’t hard enough to deal with the night I found Bobby, but for Nick to come back seven years to the day and act as though nothing had happened? How did he expect me to react? He left me. He left me when things got just a little too hairy for him; it didn’t seem to matter what I was going through.
I loved him—needed him—and he just left. Over the years, I thought I’d made peace with how things ended between us, but seeing him again… Well, it brought back memories of every tender moment we’d shared, and they almost eclipsed the resentment I harbored for him.
Almost.
My eyes burned, bloodshot and beyond exhausted, as I stared at the white wall ahead of me. I was still lying in bed after a long, sleepless night obsessing over Nick’s return to town and feeling guilty that my thoughts were about him and not the man sleeping next to me in my bed. With every minute that ticked by on my bedside clock, I had hoped sleep would find and hold me, but it was sparse and never lasted more than fifteen minutes at any given time. David had done what he could to help take my mind off everything, and I’d given in, momentarily forgetting my troubles in exchange for the way he made me feel whenever I was in his arms. But he fell asleep, and I couldn’t shut my mind off long enough to follow him.
I heard a soft groan behind me, and the mattress dipped beneath David’s weight as he rolled over. Suddenly, his heavy arm draped over my waist and hung there for a minute before his fingers started to dance over my exposed abdomen. “Good morning,” he greeted gruffly, his warm breath wafting over my neck and making me shrug against the ticklish sensation. “How did you sleep?”
“Um, fine?” I really have to work on speaking with ironclad conviction, because he didn’t buy it.
His fingers stopped moving, and he pushed himself up. With a sigh, I rolled onto my back and looked up at him. His hair was a disaster, making me grin like an idiot, but his eyes instantly sobered me. “Brooke—”
“David…don’t.”
“No.” He shook his head. “Jesus, Brooke, you can’t keep doing this.”
Perplexed, I pushed myself up onto my elbows, the collar of my T-shirt feeling tight against my neck. “Doing what?”
“Pretending like everything is…‘fine.’” Frustrated, he threw himself off the bed and yanked his jeans on over his boxers.
“I-I don’t know what you want me to say,” I whispered, pushing up until I sat cross-legged on the bed, fidgeting with a loose string on the hem of my shirt.
“Sweetheart, it’s not about what I want you to say…” David sighed and planted himself back on the bed in front of me, taking my hands in his and bringing them to his lips. “You can’t keep this shit bottled up inside.”
A sad nod from me. “I know.” My eyes met his, and I gave him a half-smile. “It’s not that I mean to keep you at a distance… It kills me that you even feel that’s what I’m doing…” Then I heaved a heavy sigh. “Seeing Nick last night just opened an old wound—more than usual.” David’s eyes grew sad, like maybe he thought it brought back more than just the despair I felt when Nick left after Bobby died, so I tried to explain. “I don’t love him. N-not anymore. But”—the first of several tears fell down my cheek—“on my birthday? When he knows what that day means to my family?” I hated crying; it made me feel weak, and it was something I usually kept others from seeing, but these past twenty-four hours had been a little more emotional than years past.
David reached over and took my hand in his, bringing it to his lips and placing feather-light kisses over my knuckles. I was grateful to him for being here for me and listening without judgment, and it was a relief that I could explain this to him without fear of him misreading how I felt about Nick. To show him just how much I appreciated his support, I raised my face and kissed him, closing my eyes and sighing as his lips molded to mine.
The desire to lose myself in him like I did last night—to forget about everything—overwhelmed me, and warmth bloomed throughout my body, starting in my belly and emanating outward until my skin tingled. In a flash, my hands moved up to David’s neck, my fingers twisted into his hair and tugged lightly. He responded in kind by tangling his own hands into my long, pillow-mussed hair, and I shifted above him, straddling his strong thighs with the need to be closer when he pulled his lips from mine.
“Brooke…wait,” he rasped. “We can’t.”
My breath shuddered as I drew it in, my hips moving against him and relishing the feel of how aroused he was. “Mmm,” I hummed teasingly, shifting my hips slightly to see if I could persuade him. “I think your body’s suggesting otherwise.”
David laughed, but I could see that he was seriously reconsidering his decision. Sadly, he stuck to his guns, but not without a little torture of his own. He leaned in close, his lips brushing the shell of my ear, and whispered, “As much as I’d really love to throw you down on this bed and do”—his hands moved down under the hem of my shirt and grabbed my ass firmly—“ungodly things to your beautiful body…” I closed my eyes in rapture when I felt the warm, hard truth of his words pressing against me. Then he got serious, sighing heavily. “The simple fact remains that if I stay wrapped up in your arms all morning—which, again, I would love more than anything—then we’re going to be late for work.”
I pushed my bottom lip out in a mock-pout. “Oh, boo.” David nibbled at my
protruding lip gently, making me giggle.
“Come on.” Using both hands, he playfully tossed me onto the bed before standing up. “Get dressed. I’ll go start on breakfast.”
David grabbed a T-shirt from his drawer before leaving me alone, and I took a minute before getting out of bed, looking out the window at the blue sky of a new day. I could already feel the arid heat seeping into the air in my room, and I sensed that it would be a little warmer than yesterday.
But something still felt off.
Even though everything seemed just a little bit brighter thanks to David’s positivity, I still felt acutely aware of my troubled past. Usually, the day after my birthday found me feeling a little less distressed about everything. But not this year. It could have been Nick’s surprise visit to the city, but it somehow felt like more than that. I really wished I could put my finger on it.
Taking a deep breath, I headed to the bathroom for a quick shower before David finished preparing breakfast. After showering and dressing in jeans and a T-shirt, I dried my hair and applied a little makeup to hide the signs of my sleepless night. Then I headed out to the kitchen to find David setting two plates of bacon and eggs on the table.
“Smells delicious,” I told him, kissing his cheek and preparing to take my seat.
Before I could sit, though, David wrapped his arm around me and pulled me to him, burying his nose in the crook of my neck and inhaling. “So do you,” he whispered, making me giggle at how overly corny he could be from time to time.
“You’re so hokey,” I teased, pushing him back and shaking my head.
“Don’t deny it.” He stepped back and let me sit down. “It’s why you love me.”
A smile tugged at my lips. “Perhaps that’s part of it.”
Looking intrigued, David sat next to me and inquired, “And the rest of it?”