When we’d reached his room, we’d fallen into bed, and I’d been asleep in seconds.
When I woke this morning, he’d still been fast asleep, and I let him stay that way.
I was in my workshop, hadn’t seen Holden all day, when I glanced around for an herb I hadn’t thought to use before. The villagers called it Sailor’s Call, a bright red flower that grew only along the rocky coast of the village and if memory served correctly had not appeared until after the plague struck this land. Its petals were mostly used in teas and cooking, but some of the older women mentioned using it before in healing remedies for a severe sickness that left one cold. There was none in the Underworld, which meant another trip back to Channon. I exited the workshop and Tolen, my guard of late, fell in step easily behind me. He was a demon around the same age as Holden and seemed to have the great trust of his prince.
“My lady?” he asked when I stopped short.
“Sorry, but we have to take another trip to Channon. I don’t wish to wake Holden if I can help it. How upset do you think he’ll be if I leave without speaking to him first?”
Tolen appeared worried. “I would suggest you at least leave him a written message, so he may not worry as much.”
“Great, let’s do that and then we’ll head to the coast.”
“The coast, my lady?” he asked, following behind me again as I hurried back to the workshop.
“Yes, the coast. I hope you don’t mind freezing cold water and snow, Tolen.” He had watched over me mostly in the Underworld but had not come with me to my realm yet. I grinned when he gave his head a little shake, seeming to wonder what he’d gotten himself into. I ducked inside and jotted a quick note for Holden letting him know why I was going to Channon, promising to be back as soon as I could.
I just folded the note up, ready to leave it with Hattie or Josef, when a chill shot down my spine and what felt like fingers brushed along my cheek. I spun around, peering for any sign of what was there with me for I was certainly not alone. The workshop was empty, though.
Except for what now stood across from me, reflecting the firelight from the hearth.
“No… no, just leave me alone!” I picked up my hammer and rushed over to the mirror. I swung back and shattered it on the first strike.
“My lady?” Tolen yelled.
“It’s fine, dropped a dish,” I called back. “I’ll be right out!”
I held my breath, waiting for him to come rushing inside anyway, but he stayed where he was. Quick as I could, I picked up the frame and dumped it in the dark corner along with the four others that had appeared, shoving the broken shards of glass along with the frame under the heavy canvas. I backed away from it, holding my head as a wave of dizziness struck me. What was I doing over here?
“My lady? Are you ready to depart for Channon?” Tolen asked, poking his head inside. “We should go soon before we lose the day.”
“Channon?” I repeated then looked at the note in my hand. “Yes, I’m ready.”
Sailor’s Call. That’s what I needed. I snatched up the nearest unused leather satchel, draped it over my body and left my workshop.
Once inside the castle with Tolen, I passed along my note to Holden. Hattie promised she would give it to him as soon as he awoke. I hoped for his sake he slept a few more hours. I led the way to the armory and the mirror. Tolen placed his hand on the glass the same time I did, and we stepped out into my temple back in Channon.
I tugged my light cloak around me, wishing I’d thought to grab my fur-lined one. Tolen cursed under his breath, and I laughed. “Don’t like the cold?”
“I thought it was springtime here,” he grumbled.
“Channon does not get very warm. I’ll be as quick as I can, I promise.”
“What are we looking for exactly?” he asked as we exited my temple.
I nodded to those we passed, but there was no time for pleasant conversation.
We left the village at a hasty pace. Nearby, the waves crashing against the large boulders that made up most of the shoreline before we even saw the icy water.
“We are looking for a bright red flower,” I told him as we came around a turn in the path.
The white topped waves came into view, slamming into the beach in a constant, never slowing rhythm.
“It will have six petals, violet center, and its stem is black.”
Tolen nodded. “And this will help the hounds?”
“Gods, I hope so,” I prayed quietly. “Find as many as you can and don’t fall in. The water is freezing, and I would hate to have to jump in and save you.”
“I can swim,” he argued, but the moment he neared the water and a wave swept high, catching his legs, he winced, leaping backward.
“It’s not if you can swim. It’s the cold that will paralyze you if you’re not used to it.”
“And you are?”
“Grew up here, so yes. Red flower, Tolen, we haven’t much time.”
He stayed close to me but was a diligent searcher. Together, we snatched up as many of the red flowers as we could, tucking them safely into my bag. My fingers and toes went numb fairly quickly, and I fumbled to keep pulling up the flowers. My gut told me this herb, this was the key. I wasn’t sure how or why, but each time I found another red spot along the shore, my spirits lifted with the knowledge that I would be able to save the hounds before this plague spread any further.
I was shivering an hour or so later, my whole body shaking, and the satchel was only half filled.
“My lady, we should turn back,” Tolen said, tucking a few more flowers in the bag. “Your lips are blue.”
“As are yours. A few moments longer.”
His brow drew together in worry, but he lowered his head in deference. “A very short few.” He turned and walked back along the largest boulders, seeming to eye something at their base each time the waves rolled back out. I was going to tell him to be careful when a whisper rushed past my ear.
“Gabriella…”
I turned so fast, I nearly slipped and fell onto the sharp rocks beneath my boots but managed to stay upright. I expected to see one of the elders from the village, but a low-lying fog that had rolled in blocked my vision.
“Hello?” I called out.
Not even Tolen responded.
I was about to shrug it off when the whisper came again, louder this time.
I squinted, taking a few steps forward, and the fog thinned enough for me to see a figure standing right at the edge of the water. It was hunched over as if hurt. Was it one of the fishermen? I walked quicker, watching where I stepped, and eventually reached the person.
“Are you hurt?” I asked, hating to lose time searching for the flower, but I could not leave someone out here injured and alone, not with the tide coming in.
The person did not speak, just whimpered. I reached out toward what I believed was a woman’s shoulder and tried to turn her toward me. I’d barely caught a glimpse of her face before she reached up and snagged my wrist painfully in her hand, grinding the bones. I cried out, expecting Tolen to be sprinting toward us, but the fog closed in, blocking off my sight of everything but the woman. Her long white hair was brittle and appeared to be shedding. Her grip on my wrist was strong, and no matter how hard I tugged, she did not let up. I clawed at her as she leered at me, teeth missing from her mouth and those that weren’t missing were black and stained. She breathed on my face, and I gagged at the stench I could only describe as death.
“Who are you?” I demanded. “Release me at once!”
She cackled—sounding much like parchment rubbing together—and that nasty breath struck me as a slap in the face again. “I have a message for you, child, a message you will hear and not remember,” she uttered, reaching out to grab hold of my other wrist.
“I do not want a message from you! Let me go! Tolen!” I bellowed, but my words seemed to rush back at me.
“No one can hear you, not now,” the woman snapped. “She is coming.”
&n
bsp; “She who?” I shook my head as the woman’s eyes flared white. “Tori? No. She’s dead!”
“Dead? No, she is not dead. She is coming to reclaim what is hers. Either you will aid her, or she will destroy you, and all you love. Do you understand?”
“I won’t help her,” I declared boldly, though dread flooded my chest. “I won’t.”
“You best choose wisely,” the old woman warned. “Tori took pity on you once, she will not do so again.”
“Pity?” I seethed. “You consider torturing her only child to be pity?”
“We said she should have killed you while you were a babe. Said you were worthless. This is your chance to prove us wrong and her right. Do not disappoint her or there will be consequences.”
Anger slowly began to eat away at my terror, and I felt my wrists able to move more in her grip. Worthless. They all believed I was worthless because I showed no magical talent as a child. Because I had the blood of a god in my veins, gods Tori never trusted or had any loyalty toward. But Holden, he helped me see exactly who I was and what I could do. Showed me what it meant to be loved and cared for. My hands moved again, and the woman’s eyes darted to them, worried.
“I will not suffer under that woman’s hand again,” I warned. “Never again.”
“You won’t have a choice.”
“Yes, I will,” I insisted, and my hands almost pulled free. “If she comes for me, I will kill her. You tell her that from her loving daughter,” I mocked.
The woman’s eyes flared brighter, and her hands fastened around my throat instead, choking me to death. With strength she did not appear to possess, she lifted me off my feet and glared at me.
“You have spirit, I’ll grant you that, but you will not defeat Tori.”
I gave up trying to pry her hands away and brought up my leg, kicking her square in the chest. She screeched, and I flew backward. My head struck something hard, and then everything was dark.
The next thing I remembered was sputtering water as someone pressed hard against my chest.
“Breathe, damn it,” Tolen snapped.
My eyes fluttered open. I coughed and sputtered again as he helped me sit up. My chest burned and when I tried to speak, it was as if someone shoved a red-hot poker down my throat.
“Don’t talk. We have to get back to the castle.”
I wanted to ask him what the hell happened and forced myself to think. The fog, there’d been heavy fog. Was someone in it? I clutched at his arm, needing to alert him to something… but what?
“My lady?” he asked urgently.
I attempted to speak again, but only managed one word. “Her.”
His head shot up, and he glared around. “We are alone. Can you walk?”
I nodded, thinking I could, but when I got to my feet, my knees buckled, and he picked me up. I was shivering so hard I nearly toppled out of his arms, and my teeth chattered harshly. The satchel, did still have it? I reached for it frantically and sighed when I found it, still full and safe around my body. Tolen was cursing every few steps, telling me Holden was going to be quite upset at the pair of us.
Holden’s anger would have to wait. What happened to me?
The harder I worked at remembering, the dizzier I became until I tugged at Tolen’s arm for him to stop. He set me down in time for me to be sick in the grass. Everything was spinning, and when I reached up to touch my head, my hand came away bloody.
“Holden is going to rip me apart for this,” he whispered. “Can you make it the rest of the way?”
I felt awful, but nodded and shut my eyes, doing my best to ignore the jostling of his arms. I sensed when we were finally back at my temple, and then through the mirror.
“Gabby? What happened?” Holden growled, enraged.
“I honestly can’t say, sire,” Tolen replied as he handed me off to my furious, demon husband. “She was out of my sight for a moment, and then she was in the water.”
“Water? Gabby, Gabby, open your eyes, love,” he murmured, tucking me against his chest. “Gods, she’s freezing! And her clothes are soaked. Hattie! Hattie, where are you? Someone find her and tell her I need a warm bath drawn in Gabby’s chambers.”
“Right away,” Tolen said.
Holden’s growl rumbled through his body. “Not you. You are going to tell me what you two were doing out on the coast.”
“Not… his fault,” I whispered, wincing with every word. My throat ached, and a memory tugged at my mind, as if to say it was from more than merely swallowing bitter cold salt water.
“Hush, love, don’t speak yet.”
“No, Holden… she… she was there.”
We came to a sudden stop and my stomach protested. I pushed off his chest and fell to the floor. He cursed as I was sick yet again.
“She’s hit her head,” Tolen told Holden, and the growling grew worse.
“Stop it,” I gasped between heaves. “He saved my life.”
“Is that true?”
I heard shuffling feet, and when my stomach settled, I looked up and saw Tolen humbly nodding, but saying nothing in the face of Holden’s rage.
“There was fog and a woman… she attacked me, but… gods, why can’t I remember?” I tried to explain.
“We need to get you upstairs and warm,” Holden insisted, but I stopped him from picking me up again. “Gabriella, please.”
“Just wait a moment. Tolen is not to blame, so stop glaring at him as if you’re going to kill him.”
Holden rolled his eyes, but I hit his arm, and he gave in. “Tolen, you have my thanks for saving my wife.”
Tolen cast his gaze downward. “Thank you, sire, but I fear I failed in finding her attacker.”
“Was it Tori?” Holden asked me.
I shut my eyes, picturing the thick wall of fog and the figure within it. Had it been my mother? What had she even said to me? “No, I don’t remember… she did something to my mind.”
“No, she slammed your head into a rock,” he grunted and scooped me up again.
“I think I can walk now.”
“I don’t care,” he replied stiffly, his face set.
I gave up.
Neither one of us said another word as we reached my chamber, Hattie there with several other servants filling the large tub as fast as they could with warm water. Once it was ready, they left, and Holden shut the door behind them. I sensed his anger mixed with distress as he stalked back toward me and relieved me of my sopping, wet cloak.
“I’ll be fine,” I tried to tell him, but his eyes narrowed as he watched my shaking hands try to remove my shirt.
He said nothing and helped me, then he picked me up and set me in the water. I cringed as the heat rushed over my freezing cold skin. Slowly, I sank down, my teeth finally stopping their chattering. Holden moved behind me, and I felt him gently moving around my hair, searching for the wound. A sharp intake of air told me when he found it and then he was dabbing something cool but soothing on it. I hardly felt anything, too focused on my body warming back up.
“Are you truly mad at me?” I asked when I could take the heavy silence no longer.
His rumble was the only answer I received.
“Holden, I went to get the flowers. I think this might be what I was missing. I needed to go.”
“You should have woken me,” he argued.
“You needed your rest,” I said with a shrug, but that only made it worse.
“Do you have any idea what it feels like to see a guard carrying you toward me, bleeding and shivering cold, your clothes soaking wet and a mess, hearing you’ve been attacked,” he seethed. “I knew the moment something happened to you, Gabriella, I sensed it, and I was not there in time to save you.”
“But I’m here now. I’m alive.”
“That is not the point!” he ranted and paced away from the tub, running his hand over his face, but he kept his back to me. “With the hounds falling ill and this insanity with Tori, I can’t handle a wife who runs off with only one guar
d! You had one bloody guard! What if it had been Tori who attacked you?” he asked, whirling around, his face red in anger. “She’s powerful, yes? You could have been killed or taken by her!”
“She’s dead, remember?” I said, but the words sounded false even to my ears.
“You cannot be so reckless.”
“I needed Sailor’s Call to save the hounds and stop this plague!” I shouted back. “I have to save them.”
“And you will, but not by running off without thinking of what might happen to you!”
“But I’m fine!”
“And the last time you said that to me, you were plagued by your mother’s spirit!”
I sank into the water, crossing my arms. I had not needed the reminder and hated to admit he was right. My mind was a jumbled mess as a memory nagged at me, just out of reach. There was something I needed to remember, but it refused to come to the light. What was it? My head throbbed, and I leaned back, frustrated.
“All I ask is you be careful.” Holden moved back to my side. “I cannot stand to lose you.”
“I know, and I’m sorry,” I said sincerely. “I was struck by this notion that I was so close to finding the remedy. I only needed one more thing…” I frowned, feeling that nagging again, but then it was gone, and I cursed so vividly it made Holden smile. “What?”
“Nothing, but you are quite adorable when you curse.”
I glared at him. “Is that so?”
“Yes, it is.” He took another few steps closer, and I was able to reach out and hold his hand.
Then, with a wicked grin, I reached up and pulled him hard, unbalancing him, and he toppled forward into the tub. Water sloshed over the sides as he sputtered, and I cackled in delight.
“You are insane,” he grumbled, plucking at his wet shirt.
“I never said I wasn’t. I am sorry for leaving and not taking more precautions.”
His arms wound around me as he kissed me softly. “I only want you to be safe.”
“I’m not used to having someone care yet.”
“The feeling is mutual.”
I rested easily in his arms, feeling my muscles relax as the last tendrils of cold slipped from my body. I had the flowers I needed, and all was left now was to find the right way to break it down and use it. I worried I would fail, but with Holden beside me, I would definitely not go down without trying every last concoction and tonic possible.
Disgrace Page 16